A/N: My English III class had to write short stories using words from the Scarlett Letter (which we are currently reading). This hot mess was somehow born from the combination of various Pokémon theme songs and sheer desperation for usable ideas. I hope you all enjoy this! Definitions are at the bottom.
Disclaimer: Plot's mine, characters, not so much.
Walking down the street our two heroes Mattie and Alfred were discussing their latest battle on the wonderful game Pokémon Ruby (interchangeable with Sapphire and Emerald versions). "Dude! My Blaziken totally wiped the floor with the Elite Four!" Alfred shouted at his twin brother. "That Glalie was completely destroyed by my flamethrower. No wonder I'm once again the Pokémon champion of the world." He said smugly. Mattie, the quieter of two was about to calmly remind Al that his Blaziken was defeated by the next Elite Four member, when suddenly, a wild stranger appeared!
"Hello there, youthful children! Today is such a glorious day; doesn't the sun vivify1 all that it shines upon?" A man in a lurid2 green jumpsuit had coming running out from behind a couple of trashcans and immediately slung his arms around the brother's shoulders, letting out a blinding smile in the process.
"Uh whoa dude, personal space." Alfred replied putting as much space as he could between himself and the ignominious3 man. "I have no idea what vilify or vivify or whatever word you used means, but in case you haven't noticed it's cloudy. It's been like this for like, a week."
"And," Mattie muttered quietly, still trapped under the arm of the man who seemed to typify4 crazy. "We're not children, we're both eighteen…" But the other two paid no attention to the quiet blond. It was like he was invisible.
"Oh, it seems that my vocabulary is inscrutable5 to you two plebeians6. Please accept my humble and gracious apologies. If you do not forgive me I will punish myself in a manifold7 of ways as emolument8 for my ignorance, starting with one thousand laps around the city!" The jumpsuit clad man cried out, tears streaming down his face showing his commiseration9. Ok, forget typifying crazy, this guy was the progenitor10 of crazy.
Meanwhile, Mattie and Al were slowly trying to inch away from the man with questionable sanity. Alfred leaned over to his brother and whispered (rather loudly) in his ear "I have no idea what he's saying, so let's agree to whatever he's talking about and get the Hello Kitty out of here." Mattie nodded his head quickly in agreement.
"It's all good dude, let's just forget this whole thing happened and agree to never talk to each other again." Al said hastily, hoping his "plan" would work and this weirdo would leave them alone.
"A youthful idea young man!" Shouted the fre- I mean guy in the green jumpsuit, bouncing back quickly. "I accept your terms, and to celebrate I shall do five hundred sit-ups!" And with that he suddenly fell onto his back and stated exercising right in the middle of the sidewalk, all the while shouting things about youth.
The brothers sped around the corner of the block and let out a breath in relief. "That was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me." said Mattie, still in a small amount of shock from the whole ordeal.
"No, kidding, I totally thought that guy would never leave us alone. If we ever see him again, call the police. And did you notice his eyebrows? They looked like giant black caterpillars! "Al practically yelled. "Hey, all that running made me pretty hungry, wanna head to McDonalds?" He asked. "When we get there we should totally battle, my Typhlosion against your Ursaring. What was his name again? Kammamichi?" Alfred continued talking not even giving Mattie a chance to answer his first question.
"Sure." Mattie mumbled. "And his name is Kamaji I think; or is it Kumakiro? I can't really remember…"
Vivify- To bring or give life.
Lurid- Very vivid in color as to create a harsh or unnatural effect.
Ignominious- Disgraceful or shameful.
Inscrutable- Impossible to understand.
Plebeian- One who is, or appears to be of middle or lower class.
Manifold- Many or various.
Emolument- Payment for employment; compensation.
Commiseration- To feel or express sorrow or sympathy.
Progenitor- Precursor, originator.
A/N: Sooo? What do you think? This is my first (and possibly last) fanfic and I would really love some feedback. I just felt really proud of my little crack baby, and I just had to show it to the world :).
On another note, did you guys realize who the man in the GREEN JUMPSUIT was? In case you didn't I'll tell you, good old Maito Gai from Naruto. And the twin brothers? America (Alfred) and Canada (Mattie) from Hetalia.