Yaya, that didn't take long huh? Now I will apologize, but there will be some dirty things in this chapter, you have been warned. ^^ We're nearing a head, I'll let you know. It's all down hill from here with where I'm going… Maybe only a couple chapters after this… if that. Maybe only one? We'll see… For now, enjoy as always!
FYI: If you prefer the "uncut" version, please visit adultfanfiction dot net or deviant art.
Caution: Further chapters will contain mature content such as language and yaoi, Tsume/Toboe. Be forewarned.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or series of Wolf's Rain. They belong to BONES & Keiko Nobumoto. This story is non-profit for my own and others' enjoyment. Thank you. :)
They Already Knew
"Is it bad?" the silver haired man asked.
"It hurts, but I think I'm okay." The auburn haired boy answered, propping himself up on one arm. He winced when he did so, clutching his side.
"Can you walk?" an older boy with black hair asked, stepping up to him.
"Yeah," he replied, sitting up. But when he did so he immediately lost his balance, letting out a grunt, "Shit," he cursed.
The black haired one laughed a little, "Oh come on now, I know how tough you are," he smirked, "Get up."
"Toboe, don't." the silver haired man spoke up, stopping him from doing anything. "You're injured." He turned to the black haired boy, "Sera, right? Is there anyone who can take a look? Something could be broken." He leaned down next to Toboe on the ground. "How bad is it?" he asked him.
"Tsume, I'm fine." He answered, glancing up at him. "I'm just sore. It's mostly cuts and bruises." He brushed himself off of dirt and debris, wincing again when he went over his wounds.
"This is my fault." Came the man's angry reply.
For some reason Toboe didn't interject that time, leaving the subject hanging on. He frowned before looking up to Sera, who was looking over his shoulder. He followed his gaze to the other members of the pack who had also turned to their human forms. He further noticed it was mostly the males from the pack, the hunting party most likely… but no Turek.
Toboe was about to say something but was interrupted by Sera, who turned back to face him, "He's right you know. Someone should look at you. But not here."
The boy was curious, "Sera, what's going on? What are you guys doing out here?" he asked.
The black haired boy smiled, "I should ask you the same thing. Just waltzing back in like nothing ever happened… Miri will be happy."
Toboe couldn't help but frown; what was with the attitude? The last time they'd spoken it was much more, what was the word? Threatening? Aggressive? …Sera wasn't acting like Sera. Yes he was still being the usual smart ass but with less... wanting to kill him. It was odd.
"You," Sera turned to Tsume, "Take him and follow us back to the village."
Tsume nodded and Toboe's eyes widened, "The village?" He waited for a second, "I knew this place looked familiar, wait…" He began to think… How long had they been driving now? They should have been much farther… the time didn't add up. No… What route had they taken?
"Yeah, not too far from here." Sera nodded, "Back to the old stomping grounds, right?"
Toboe felt like an idiot. They hadn't made any progress since the day he found Tsume while wandering in the desert. They'd taken a different road sure, but he didn't expect to have only gone this far… It was all that time they spent at the hotel too though… They'd wasted so much time. How long would it be before they found paradise now?
It seemed like this was just yet another detour… but Miri
He looked up when he saw Tsume lean over, reaching around him. "Here, hang on." He told him. Toboe responded quickly, wrapping his arms around his friend who now stood up, holding him in his arms. When he turned around he saw that the others were beginning to gather, one of the taller men carrying Keith over his shoulder. He'd completely forgotten!
"Is he ok?" he asked, catching a sigh from Tsume. He looked up at the man's frown but glanced back to Sera when he answered.
"He's alive… for now." He shrugged, "Friend of yours?"
Toboe looked down before Tsume spoke up, "No." he answered plainly.
"Should we leave him then? …He is a mess." Sera replied.
"No," the auburn haired boy spoke up, feeling Tsume's hands clutch tighter around him. He frowned, looking down, "We can't… We have to help him."
"Well all right then," Sera turned to the one carrying Keith's unconscious body, "Hurry and get him back to Gran! Go, now!" No sooner that he spoke the command the taller man became a wolf, the man still on his back as he took off, accompanied by two other wolves. The black haired man then turned to them, "Come on then."
The silver wolf moved carefully with the red wolf sprawled out on his back. He glanced out the corner of his eye to see the younger one's head drooping from his shoulder. Looking forward, he frowned as he watched the rest of the pack run around him. One of the wolves far ahead of them had the dark haired man on its back, making him want to growl.
This man had tried to kill them. Why on earth did Toboe think it was a good idea to let him live? And further more, why hadn't he protested? Was it because he felt guilty for the bear incident? …That must have been it.
But it was his fault. Once again he had let the kid get hurt.
"We're almost there," he heard Toboe speak.
He looked ahead, the trees growing thinner. What had he gotten himself into? He felt odd and out of place. This wasn't his pack and really… it wasn't Toboe's pack either. He'd been lying to himself, thinking it was all right with just the two of them. No. Without Kiba or Hige, even Blue… It just didn't make sense.
The red wolf looked ahead, holding on tightly with his paws as he began to see the clearing coming up. He smiled; he had been thinking of Miri again. Would she be surprised? How much had changed since he'd seen her? Maybe the time he and Tsume had wasted wasn't a loss after all. She wanted to go to paradise before… maybe this was a second chance? For all of them…
"Toboe!" the blonde girl exclaimed happily. The boy smiled when he saw her immediately recognize him. He held onto Tsume, all of them having taken human form once more. As she came closer, he noticed her hair was a little longer. And there was something else… something different that he couldn't quite put his finger on.
She placed her hands around his neck and pressed their foreheads together. "You came back," she whispered, "I knew you would come back." She smiled, as did Toboe.
From above, the silver haired man looked down at their exchange, a frown creeping onto his face.
"Gran!" Miri finally noticed the blood on her friend and shot her head up, "Gran!" she turned her head and called out. The old woman had already been shortly behind her, among other pack members. They had come out to greet the newcomers along with the hunting party that had returned.
"Yes, yes," she grumbled as she stepped over to them, "Set him down," she commanded and Tsume did as he was told, gently placing the boy on the ground. The woman began feeling Toboe's arms, then his back, spine, chest and stomach, even his legs. When she was finished she stood up, "You're all right. Have someone help you clean up. Just rest for the next few days and don't move much. Should be fine." She waved her hand to excuse him.
The silver haired man nodded, relief filling his face.
A young woman ran up to her then, "There's the other too, ma'am…"
"The man that was with them," she looked back over her shoulder to the tall man that approached them, still carrying the unconscious man over his shoulder. Gran glanced him over quickly before her eyes widened, "Quickly!" she growled, "Bring him to my house!" The tall man nodded and took off into the village as she hurried behind him.
"Wait!" Toboe called after her, "Will he be all right?!"
The old woman didn't stop to turn around, "We'll see!" she called back.
Tsume bit his lip, "Toboe…" he muttered, leaning over to speak to him but was ignored when Miri spoke up in his place, "I really can't believe you're back." She smiled, sitting next to him on the ground. The other pack members had begun to disperse by now, going off to their own daily tasks. It was just Toboe, Tsume, Miri and Sera now.
"Your hair is still long I see," she rang her fingers through a few strand.
"Oh, it's a mess, stop." Toboe blushed, batting her away. He smoothed it down, trying to get out a few leaves and twigs that were still stuck in from the bouts of the bear attack. The girl laughed a little. "So why did you come back? Do you find it?" she asked.
Toboe knew what she was talking about, "No… not yet." he looked down, "We got a little sidetracked."
"It's a long story." He shrugged, placing a hand behind his head. Miri then looked up at the man who stood above him, still smiling. "So is this your friend?"
Tsume bit his lip just as Toboe blushed, "Uh, yeah…" he muttered, feeling embarrassed and put on the spot. The girl stood up, "I'm Miri! I've heard so much about you!" she smiled, reaching out to shake his hand.
Tsume didn't return the kind gesture. "Funny, I haven't heard anything about you." He replied coldly.
Toboe looked up in that instant, catching his companion's cold expression. He bit his lip, confused and all together worried about their exchange.
"Oh, well that's all right…" Miri replied hesitantly, "So how long will you two be staying?"
"As long as it takes for him to heal, then we go."
The girl couldn't help but frown at Tsume's cold demeanor, "Well all right then. Sera," she turned to the black haired man, "Can you take him to Kalev's house? They can stay there until Toboe's better."
Toboe's eyes widened, remembering his kind mentor, the one who had showed him everything he knew about being a wolf. "But what about Kalev?" he looked up to Miri.
She smiled, "No worries, he's been staying with Gran since he's been ill."
"Ill?" Toboe asked, worried.
"We'll talk more at my house." She turned back to Sera, "Take his friend, what's it?"
"Tsume," Toboe answered her when Tsume did not.
"Tsume," she continued, "Show him around, Sera. I'm going to help Toboe get cleaned up." She bent over next to the auburn haired boy, "Here," she said, wrapping an arm around his side. The boy nodded, latching onto her as he was pulled up.
"Can you walk with my help?" she asked.
"Yeah," he nodded, holding onto her for support. He glanced up at Tsume who was watching him, a frown on his face. Before he could say anything, Sera spoke up, "C'mon." he turned and began walking in the opposite direction. Tsume reluctantly turned to follow, casting one last angry glance at Toboe who was just plain confused. But instead of worrying about it, he turned when Miri did so.
It wasn't long before they'd made it to a small house within village. It was getting darker and the sun had almost set completely. As she led him into the house, Toboe glanced around. The house was plain inside, with few furnishings aside from a small sofa and coffee table, no table in the kitchen or chairs. There was only one lamp in the room, next to the sofa, which Miri went to and turned on.
"Sit, please." She asked, then turning into the kitchen.
The boy nodded and slowly limped his way to the sofa, taking a seat. He made himself comfortable, watching as the girl moved around in the kitchen. She was filling a teapot with water, then sitting it on the stove to heat up. "It'll take just a minute," she spoke up.
Toboe glanced around once more, curiously. He was about to ask but no sooner had she already brought out hot water and a cloth to him, along with a small box. She sat by his side, "Let's see now," she gestured to him in an upward motion.
When he didn't answer, she spoke again, "Your shirt, take it off so I can see the damage."
"Oh," he blushed, "What about Gran?"
Miri glared at him, "She's busy, remember?"
Toboe thought of Keith and nodded, "Oh, yes…"
"Look, we can do this the hard way if you want? I'm perfectly capable, Toboe."
"I wasn't say that you weren't capa-"
"Then off with it!" she commanded.
"Fine!" he rudely responded, pulling his torn shirt off. He watched as she gave him a quick once over before commenting, "It's not that bad. But your arm, that cut will need to be sewn up."
"Sewn up?!" Toboe gawked, feeling a bit worried.
"Yes," she answered plainly, reaching for the box on the coffee table, "You're not afraid, are you?" She glanced at him from the corner of her eye and he frowned, "No! Of course not." He answered.
Miri couldn't help but smile as she laid out a large needle and thick string from the box. She followed the task by pouring hot water from the kettle into a small bowl. Placing a towel in and soaking up the water, she squeezed it out before placing it on Toboe's upper arm. He held still and did not wince, even though he wanted to.
"You're lucky." She commented as she poured a little bit of whiskey onto another cloth before sanitizing the wound. He did wince that time, biting his lip. She continued, "I heard you went off against a bear?" She then took that moment to begin stitching him up, already having threaded the needle.
"Ah," he whined a little, "I suppose I did…"
"You got some balls."
"Yeah, that was fun…"
Miri smiled, "That Tsume guy, he's fun too right?"
Toboe remembered the last he saw him, the expression he gave him, like he was mad at him or something. "Yeah, he's fun all right."
Miri glanced up for just a second before continuing, "Trouble in paradise?"
"Mmm," Toboe whined a little more, "He's just difficult at times… I think it's because he's older, that he doesn't listen to me." He bit his lip, "The whole bear thing… It wouldn't have even happened in the first place if he hadn't been so stupid."
"He seems like he would be."
"Hey," He looked at her, frowning.
"What? You said it." She laughed a little. He couldn't help but laugh as well.
It wasn't long before she was finished, "There," she spoke before grabbing the bandage wraps she'd already laid out. She began tying them around the finished area. Toboe took that moment to ask, "So, you never told me about Kalev?"
"Oh, yes…" Miri frowned, "It's just that… He's getting older, Toboe. You know that." She sat back after she tied the bandage. She placed the cloth back into the bowel of hot water, soaking it again before placing it on Toboe once more. She began to clean the rest of his wounds, the cuts and scrapes that weren't that bad.
"A while back, shortly after you left… He had a pretty bad fall in his house when he first began getting sick. It wasn't until the next day that my father found him. He's been staying with my Gran since, just to be safe…" she frowned.
Toboe looked down. He could remember Kalev's words, telling him that he wasn't long for this world. But he didn't want to see it happen…
"Turek, I mean, your father," he spoke as he looked up again, "Why wasn't he with the hunting party today?"
Miri paused, pulling the warm wet cloth away for a second before she continued with a sigh, "It's my mother…"
"Today is the anniversary of her death. I never see him on days like this. He shuts himself inside and refuses to see anyone…"
"Miri, I'm sorry-"
"Don't be." She interrupted him, quickly turning her face into a smile, "It's all right."
Toboe didn't respond after that. He didn't know how to, watching Miri smiling like that. She was always hiding something underneath… fear, sadness, anger… even a small glimmer of hope. "Miri," the boy spoke up after a minute of silence, "What's wrong with Sera?"
Miri laughed, tying the last stich in his arm. He winced when she did so, but watched as she continued smiling, "So curious! …So what do you mean?" she asked.
"He's acting… I dunno, weird."
"How so?" she began attending the last bloody patch on him. He didn't move as she did so, just answered, "Well for one, he's not trying to kill me like the last time I saw him…"
Miri nodded, "Things have changed a lot, Toboe."
She sat back, finished cleaning his wounds, "Did you even stop to wonder why I wasn't living with my Gran anymore?"
Toboe looked at her curiously, "I did wonder about this house-"
"Sera and I…" she looked down, still smiling, "We're together now."
"Oh…" Toboe didn't sound upset, so she continued, "He's changed, Toboe. He really has."
"Well…" the boy seemed to force a smile, "That's really great, Miri. I'm happy for you guys!"
She nudged him in the leg, "Oh, quit it!" she growled with a laugh, "I know how you hated each other!"
"I don't hate him! I never did… He started it, not me." Toboe insisted.
Miri rolled her eyes, "Ok, sure. Well anyways… I'm just glad you're back. I really missed you… Oh!" She got up then, running into back room. She handed him a brown long sleeved shirt, "Here, and there's some other things too." She immediately went to the kitchen and opened up the fridge as Toboe slipped the shirt on. He watched as she began pulling out a few things just before the front door opened. It was Sera.
"Everything ok in here?" he asked Miri, who was now filling a small bag.
"Yes," she answered, "I know it's getting late."
"Yeah, I'm gonna take a shower." He replied, waving to Toboe as he walked past. "You ok now?"
"Y-yes," he hesitantly replied, "Miri fixed me up. All better." He didn't really know what else to say.
"Good," and with that, Sera disappeared down the hallway, closing one of the doors behind him. Toboe listened as the shower was obviously turned on. He shook his head, "I'll never get over it."
Miri just laughed as she walked up to him, handing him a bag filled with things. "What's this?" the boy asked, taking it from her.
"Food and a few other things, like soap and stuff." She nodded, smiling, "It should tide you over for the time being, until you take off again…" she looked down, "Toboe…"
"Hmm?" he was sorting through the bag, his stomach already rumbling. He'd forgotten how hungry he'd been all day, with everything that had happened.
Miri never replied and so he looked up, but she'd already walked back into the kitchen. He couldn't see her face, but there was something different about her, he knew that much…
"Well, it is getting late. I'm sure your mate is worried about you too." She spoke.
Toboe stood up, wincing a bit. But it wasn't as bad as before; the pain was already beginning to subside. "There's some medicine in the bag too, if it still hurts." Miri told him when she noticed he was still having a bit of trouble getting around. He thanked her, walking to the door and opening it. He bit his lip, not believing how cold it was already. Winter would be upon them soon enough.
"Miri," he said, turning back around, "I hope you're ok, with everything."
"I am," she nodded, "Don't worry about me, Toboe. You just take care of yourself." She glanced outside then back to him, "Do you remember where Kalev's house is?"
"Yes," he replied, "And thanks again. I'm sure I'll see you in the morning." He stepped outside, holding the bag.
"I'm sure you will. Do you need help?"
"I'll be fine. Goodnight."
The boy watched as she softly closed the door, and he himself turned to go, frowning a bit. He really did hope she was all right. He remembered her not wanting this life before… had she simply given in? Or had she changed her mind?
It wasn't long before he'd made it to Kalev's old house, noticing the light on inside. Tsume was in there waiting for him. He could feel his insides churning, and it wasn't just because he was hungry. He still couldn't get over the look he had given him earlier.
Opening the door, he saw that everything was the same as when he'd seen it before, aside from his friend who was sitting on the sofa. He was tending to his own wound, wrapping it up just as his was. Closing the door behind him, he decided to say something.
Toboe decided to ignore the cold reply, "Miri gave me a few things." He went to the kitchen table, beginning to pull everything out. "There's food in here too. Are you hungry?" He pulled out a loaf of bread and some cheese, turning to face him.
The boy frowned when he didn't receive an answer, "What's wrong?" Tsume wouldn't look at him, "Look, if you think I'm mad at you, I'm not." He looked down, "Sure it was a bit frustrating, but-"
"It's not that."
Toboe looked up as Tsume continued, "You have every right to be mad at me. What I did was really stupid." The boy couldn't help but smile when he realized that his friend was apologizing to him. But then he frowned, knowing there was still something eating at the man in front of him. "Then, what is it?" he asked, "You can tell me…"
Tsume leaned on his knees, clasping his hands and sighing, "Do you really want to talk?"
"Yes." Toboe nodded persistently.
"Fine," he paused for a minute before looking up at him, not sure how to say it. Honestly he just wanted to forget about it and go to bed. But he knew the runt wouldn't give up until he spat it out. "What's with that girl?" he asked plainly.
"Yes, Miri." He growled. Of course the kid knew who he was talking about. He watched as Toboe sat for a second, not saying anything until a light seemed to go off in his eyes. "Tsume, are you jealous?" He sounded excited, a small smile creeping onto his face. Even the way he said it made the older wolf a little angry. "No."
"Yes, you are." The boy smiled, leaning on the kitchen counter behind him.
"No I'm not…" Tsume sighed, looking away impatiently. Was he?
Toboe stopped then, afraid that his teasing would only make it worse. "So is that why you were mean to her?"
"I wasn't mean to her."
"Yes, you were!" he frowned, "It was nice of them to give us a place to stay, not to mention save our lives! You could've at least smiled or something…" He bit his lip as he watched Tsume across the room, who now stood up from the sofa. He walked to the kitchen where he was, opening the fridge. "No beer…"
"Tsume…" Toboe scowled. He was avoiding the subject; he knew it. But just as he was about to press him further, the man slowly turned to him and stood up, closing the fridge door behind him. As he stood near him he couldn't see his features very well, his back turned to the only light.
"You know, I was going to drop it… But since you're the one who wants to bring it up…" Tsume spoke annoyingly, leaning on the fridge. The boy watched him curiously with a frown, "What are you even talking about?" he asked angrily.
"You remember that day in the desert?" Tsume asked.
"Yes…" Toboe replied hesitantly.
"When I found," he looked down, "I could smell someone else on you…"
Toboe's heart seemed to stop all together. His mind flashed to that day, throwing himself into his mate's arms, kissing him. But then his mind went to Miri, the day he left… sitting with her on the top of that canyon, the kiss they shared. "Wait-"
"I didn't think about it until I saw her. That girl's scent…" he looked up at him, his golden eyes glowing, "You were covered in her scent that day. Your clothes, your hair, everything…"
"Tsume, it's not like that…" the boy reached out to him and then pulled it back, rethinking the decision to do so. Looking down, he bit his lip. "Look, we were together all the time. We were friends," he looked up at him then, "You're overthinking it, Tsume." He sounded persistent yet worried.
"Then who was it I tasted on your lips?" the man growled.
Toboe stepped back, the small of his back hitting the counter top's edge. He looked back, wincing slightly from the hard bump. "Toboe," he looked back when his name was called. "What?" he asked, his face confused. He was speechless, caught off guard like this.
"Were you two together?"
"No! It's not like that!" he insisted.
Tsume moved then, inching closer to him, "Then tell me!"
What was Toboe supposed to say? That they tried out a kiss to see if it worked? It could've developed into something more, yes… But it didn't. Wait… The boy frowned. He and Tsume weren't even together at the time. He didn't have anything to feel guilty for.
Toboe stepped forward, holding his ground, "It wasn't anything! We kissed, so what?!" he growled, "And don't worry! She's with Sera now, for good!" He paused, biting his lip before continuing, "Why am I even answering to you?! I don't have to! You don't own me!"
"Then what's that?!" Tsume shot back at him, flicking the shirt back on the boy's collar, revealing a small scar. The boy grabbed it, covering it up. That was the mark Tsume had given him their first night together. He knew he'd given Tsume one too.
Toboe stepped forward, getting right in Tsume's face. He was determined to not back down and he knew something that he could throw at him, "You sure talk a big talk! What's your excuse?!"
Tsume stepped back an inch, "What?" he seethed.
"That night, the night you came home in the dark, covered in blood and angry… You know, when you…" he lost the intensity in his voice when his mind began reverting to the way Tsume had hurt him… But shaking his head, he regained his ground, "I could smell a woman's perfume on you! What was that, huh?!"
Tsume stepped back, hitting the edge of the table and slowly sitting down. His eyes slowly began to widen as he recalled everything that had happened that night. It was so long ago… He frowned, turning his head away from him. He didn't want to remember that.
"Toboe, stop it," he was still angry, but had lost the momentum. The kid had the upper hand now. "It wasn't like that. You don't understand…"
"How am I supposed to understand?!" he was beginning to get tears in his eyes, the events from that night running wild in his imagination. It was never brought up after it happened, just pushed aside and forgotten. He grew angrier when Tsume wouldn't look at him, his expression hardened as he bit his lip.
"What am I supposed to think, Tsume? I can't keep doing this…" he shook his head, determined not to cry. "You're hurting me all over again…" he said sadly, pausing. Then he grew angry once more, "You keep lying to me! I can't do this anymo-"
"I fucking killed her, ok?!" Tsume yelled, finally turning around to face him.
Toboe stopped, completely breathless as his eyes widened. He stepped back, resting against the kitchen counter. He was confused, "W-who?" he asked, his voice having lost all emotion.
"Danielle…" the man answered plainly, looking down, "I killed her."
The boy remembered that day in the alley when Keith had first come after them, the words he'd said to Tsume. "Danielle?" Where had he heard that name before? And then he remembered… Tsume had mentioned her before, when they were living together in the city over a year ago. "Wait… how could you… I thought she was dead?"
"No, she wasn't." Tsume growled, bitterness in his voice, "It was all a lie, to get my money, my life… everything."
Toboe bit his lip when he suddenly realized something. Everything was beginning to make sense now, to come together. "After Keith found us… when you two were in the alley way he mentioned a Danielle." He looked up at Tsume then, frowning. The man returned his gaze, his eyes wide. "I get it now. It all makes sense."
"Toboe," the man reached out to him.
"Is that why he's trying to kill us? It's not just some debt you owe?" the boy asked frustratingly.
Tsume glanced back down, "Yeah… he was her brother." He answered hesitantly.
"So that night," Toboe paused, thinking for a minute before he continued, "You killed her… That's why you smelled of blood-"
"Toboe, she left me no choice!" the man spoke up, "She pulled a gun on me and by the time-"
"No!" the boy interrupted, "I get it now! You killed her…" His eyes wandered off, his mind recalling every detail of that night… Tsume shoving him against the wall, forcing himself on him… He could remember everything.
Toboe looked back at him, his eyes full of anger, "That's why you were upset… That's why you…" His eyes began to tear up. He could remember being held down, crying out for him to stop, begging for him. The boy wrapped his arms around himself, shaking from rage and grief. He couldn't control it any longer. "What you did to me…" he turned his back to him then.
"Toboe, I'm sorry-"
"You know, you could've just told me… but instead," he was getting choked up now, his emotions overcoming him. He felt even more so betrayed than the first time. Did Tsume love that woman more than him? Is that why he thought it was okay to hurt him like that?
It was when he felt a hand on his shoulder that Toboe finally lost it. He turned around, batting the man's hand away from him. "You asshole!" he screamed up at him, "What you did, you took it all out on me!"
Toboe could hear every word coming out of his mouth as the man backed up from him with every accusation. "Can't we just talk about this?" the man interjected. He knew he shouldn't be acting like this, but he couldn't control himself. His insides were boiling, "You used me! You treated me like trash!"
"Toboe, I thought we were over this?!" Tsume protested, feeling himself back up against a wall. The kid was at his throat. "What's wrong with you?! You're freaking out!"
"What's wrong with me?! You're asking me that?!" he was furious, "I let it go! I never said anything! You…" he bit his lip, looking down as tears streamed. He looked back up then, anger filling him again with memories, "You fucking raped me, Tsume!" He watched the man's face fill with hurt when he said that, but at this point he couldn't stop, "Do you think that was all right?! Did it make you feel better?! …Was it worth it?!" he screamed.
Suddenly he finally realized everything he had said and stepped back from him, his eyes widening. He moaned, turning away with a hand over his mouth. He was embarrassed, immediately regretting everything he had said… all those accusations… He thought he had erased those memories. He thought he had forgiven Tsume, hadn't he?
The boy turned around, his mouth open and eyes wide with tears, "What?" he muttered.
"I want you to hit me." Tsume repeated, his voice calm yet firm and demanding.
"Tsume," Toboe bit his lip, "I didn't mean any of it."
"I told you to hit me, dammit!" the man growled.
"Tsume, I'm sorr-"
"Do it!" Tsume yelled, still against the wall, "Just get it over with, you stupid kid!"
Toboe was filled with anger once more and couldn't help it. With a growling yell, he smacked the older wolf across the face as hard as he could. The man's face was hit to the side, the boy watching as he frowned. He turned back to him then, a smirk on his face, "That was it? You're so weak."
The boy growled, "How dare you!" He hit him again, harder this time. But once again the man smirked at him when he turned back, "Still not good enough."
Toboe grinded his teeth. He knew he was being baited, but he didn't care. He hit him again and again, before he began wailing on him, growling each time as his tears continued to pour. But Tsume wouldn't move. He didn't hit back, he didn't even duck or try to get away. He just let him hit him. And this made him feel even worse.
The man watched as the boy's cries of anger turned into cries of sadness as he slowly began to let it go. Eventually the hitting slowly stopped and the boy collapsed onto him. But he still wouldn't move. He wanted to runt to release this on his own. If he touched him, it would only make him revert back once again.
All their fights until now… He now knew it had been more than just their different personalities. Toboe was still dealing with what he did to him…
Tsume closed his eyes, so badly wanting to touch him. The boy still hit upon his chest occasionally, crying from frustration each time. He opened his eyes again, looking down at him. Tsume watched his face, streaming with tears, his eyes filled with grief. "Toboe," he muttered. The boy growled in response, pulling back and getting ready to hit him once more.
Tsume squinted his eyes, expecting the hit to come… but instead, he was caught completely off guard. His eyes widened when he felt Toboe's lips against his, the boy's hands behind his neck and pulling him closer. The kiss was deep and hard, and he couldn't help but feel himself begin to melt as a small moan escaped his mouth. He couldn't help it; Tsume reached out to wrap his arms around the younger wolf.
But as soon as he did so, Toboe broke the kiss and grabbed both of the man's wrists in his hands, slamming his body into the wall. The man grunted at the impact, glancing down before his lips were quickly met again. His body was tightening as each movement quickened.
What was the kid doing? Was this wrong? …No. They shouldn't do this, not now. It wasn't right.
"T-toboe…" he muttered, frowning.
"Shut up," the boy spat out between kisses.
The man closed his eyes, still frowning. He had to stop this. But before he could say something, he felt the boy's hands go to his pants and begin frantically pulling at his belt. The kiss was broken off and he paused, the boy pulling his head back. Tsume watched without a sound, the boy meeting his gaze.
There was something different in his eyes. He felt like he couldn't look away, like he was trapped beneath him. He couldn't talk, he couldn't even move… He bit his lip as he watched the boy's face. His hazel eyes were glimmering, his lips pursed and his face determined. He didn't know if he was still upset, all he knew was that this was what Toboe wanted.
The boy kissed him again, his hands still on him. The man moaned when a tongue was slipped into his mouth, the boy's aggression turned on him. Tsume began to lose it, his insides boiling, wanting more. He didn't care anymore. He'd lost the fight.
The boy collapsed on the hardwood floor, breathing heavily. His hair was a mess, dried tears on his face and his entire body covered in sweat. He reluctantly rolled over, his face still red. He glanced to his left when the man collapsed next to him, his appearance not much better in addition to red scratch marks all over him. The boy watched his tanned chest rise up and down, his breathing still heavy.
He turned away then, looking up at the ceiling above them. He felt so dirty…
He covered his face with one hand, moaning. He was ashamed of himself.
The boy turned on to one side, facing away from the man who was still adjusting to breathing at a normal level. He bit his lip, knowing he was wrong to have turned it into that. But he couldn't help it… He didn't even know why he came on to him like that.
He felt like he'd only made it worse.
It was then that he felt a hand on his bare hip, "Toboe…" a soft voice sounded.
"Please don't touch me…" He muttered.
The man withdrew his hand, regret written all over his face. He shouldn't have given into temptation like that. He should have held his ground and said no. He knew it wasn't right. He felt like a bad person… But what could he do now?
The man reluctantly sat up, his pants still partially on. He used the table above him to help him stand up, biting his lip. He couldn't believe how weak he was from all that had just happened. Standing, he zipped up his pants before bending over to pick up what had fallen from the table earlier when they knocked it over.
Glancing to his side, he saw that Toboe still hadn't moved from that spot. He just lay there, his back turned to him with one hand tracing the patterns on the wood floor. He frowned, looking back to the bag he had picked up. He sat it on the table, searching through its contents.
Luckily, there was nothing breakable, just a loaf of bread, some meats, cheeses and fruit. He leaned back on the counter as he bit into the whole loaf of bread, his rear bumping into a few broken dishes. He frowned, moving them into the sink. He would get them later.
He just watched the boy lying there, wondering what was going on in his head. Was he still angry with him? He didn't know what to say, if he should say anything at all… He even felt like a sleaze, like he was just taking advantage of him… Did he?
Suddenly the boy began to sit up and he refrained from eating, watching him. He didn't say anything, even though he wanted to.
"I'm sorry. I…" Toboe muttered. His voice sounded defeated and embarrassed. His back was still turned to him as he began to smooth out his messy hair, attempting to make himself decent. He felt awful, ashamed and dirty… just like before. Only this time, it was his fault.
"Are you hungry?"
Toboe turned around then, seeing Tsume leaning against the counter, looking at him as he took another bite. He didn't care, did he? The boy frowned, slowly getting up as he glanced around. He found the shirt he'd been wearing and quickly slipped it on over his naked body. It was larger, having belonged to Sera and went to his mid thighs.
"Careful," Tsume spoke as the boy padded around the broken shards of the dish that had fallen earlier. He leaned against the counter about two feet away from the man, who handed him half of the loaf of bread. "Here," he nudged at his hands. The boy nodded, taking it.
But he wasn't eating. The man watched as the boy looked down at the bread, a troubled expression on his face. "Tsume…" he spoke after several minutes of silence.
"Hmm?" Tsume had finished his bread, but was still leaning against the counter.
They weren't looking at each other, just staring forward. "So you're not mad at me?" the boy asked quietly.
"Why would I be?" the man answered calmly.
"Because," he frowned, "The way I acted… it was really stupid." He was clutching at the bread now, crumbs falling from his fingers and onto the floor. "The things I said to you… And then…"
"None of it matters anymore, Toboe."
The boy looked up at him then as he continued, "It doesn't matter." He repeated, casting a smile at him. But the boy shook his head, "No, it does. I know you were sorry… you had been for a long time. I got carried away, I let my anger get the best of me…" he placed a hand to his forehead, crossing his other arm, "I feel so dirty…"
"You're not…" Tsume spoke up, glancing at him.
"Tsume…" Toboe looked up, "That doesn't make me feel any better. This isn't me, I-"
He stopped in mid-sentence as he was pulled into the man's arms, "Come here, runt." Tsume smirked. At first Toboe tried to push away but the man wouldn't let him. Sighing, he slowly relaxed, "You know I hate when you call me that." He murmured.
"Yeah, I know. But I'll never stop calling you my runt." Tsume answered as he rested his head atop the boy's, his arms still around him.
"Your runt…" Toboe repeated quietly.
"That's right, you're all mine... And I'm yours too, you know." The man squeezed him tighter and the boy couldn't help but let a smile cross his lips. He didn't think he'd heard him.
"Tsume…" the boy spoke after a few minutes, he was getting tired. "We're really messed up, aren't we?" he asked, not expecting an answer. He was beginning to feel comforted again, his friend, his lover, just holding him like he was, not moving or pulling back to kiss him.
"Yeah," Tsume answered, "But you know what?" he hugged him tighter, "I still love you more than anything."
"Even Danielle?" Toboe asked. He couldn't help it, he wanted to hear the truth. He listened as Tsume sighed, finally pulling back from him. The boy let go, watching as he leaned against the counter once more. He frowned, fearing what he might say.
Tsume stared off into the darkness of the room, not saying anything as he frowned. But then, a small smile crossed his lips, "When I think about it… I don't know if I ever really loved her."
Toboe stepped forward, interested with widened and curious eyes.
"I think I was in love with the idea of being in love," Tsume continued, looking down, "I don't know… Even if it was just teenage infatuation… I guess it wasn't really love." He paused, raising his head, "When we were together… It never felt right. It felt like there was something missing, like I never really belonged to her."
Tsume turned to him then, causing the boy to blush a little. He smiled, "I think a part of me was always somewhere else. I never felt complete… I still felt lost."
"What do you mean?" Toboe asked.
"My heart still belonged to you."
Toboe's eyes softened as he looked at him, Tsume's face full of tenderness. It really didn't matter anymore, did it? He wanted to reach out to him, to run into his arms. But instead, he didn't. His face softened as well, just taking him in.
The two of them just gazed at each other while they leaned against the kitchen counter, smiles on their faces. There was so much to be done, so much to be said about what they shared. But they didn't say anything because they didn't need to.
They already knew.
Sorry for the blatantly dirty parts for those of you reading the uncut. ^^() I couldn't help myself… Thoughts? About the story in general of course... hehe…