A/N: I don't own a) Soul Eater, b) Facebook or c) Farmville
Franken Stein had never been a very social person.
He just wasn't that sort of guy.
It wasn't so much the socialising that bother him, per se, it was more the excessive human contact. Stein had his Marie, and that could satiate his need for human contact quite well for the rest of his life, should that be her wish to stay.
Marie tried to hide it. She really tried to bite her tongue when Stein stayed cooped up in this laboratory for days, sometimes even weeks on end. But she could do so no longer.
Other than hers and his relationship, the ridicule of Spirit and occasional growling at students, Stein did little socialising. Even when he taught, he socialised very little. Marie had become like a conduit for his methods, now that they were teaching the same class.
"Move over." she said, standing behind Stein, who was at his computer. Stein turned to her and pushed his glasses over the bridge of his nose.
"Sorry?" he asked. Marie sighed and put her hands on her hips.
"I want to show you something." Marie said. Stein sighed and inched his chair to the left. Marie leant over Stein, one hand around his shoulder to rest on the keyboard, the other resting on the mouse.
"Right." Marie said.
"What are you doing?" Stein deadpanned. Marie sighed.
"I'm showing you something. Just trust me, Stein." Marie replied. Stein smirked slightly and crossed his arms.
"Should I trust you?" Stein asked. Marie turned to him and rolled her eyes.
"If not me, then who?" Marie said, a small smile on her face. Stein shrugged.
"Fair enough." Stein said, turning back to the screen. He saw what Marie had brought up and let out a noisy sigh of disdain.
"Marie… No." Stein said, adamantly.
"Oh, come on, Stein. You get to contact people, and-"
"Why would I want to contact people?" Stein asked. Marie's head dropped and she sighed.
"Honey, can you just pretend to be normal for just, two seconds?" Marie asked. Stein shook his head.
"You were well aware I wasn't normal when we started sleeping together." Stein replied. Marie shook her head and laughed a little.
"You know, most people would say 'when we started dating.'" Marie added.
"Yes, but we started sleeping together before we started dating." Stein corrected. Marie sighed, shook her head and laughed exasperatedly.
"Stop trying to change the subject, Stein. Come on, it's harmless. It's just Facebook. You don't even have to use it if you don't want to." Marie said. Stein sighed.
"But… Stein…" Marie began.
With a flutter of her eyelashes, a baby pout and some careful positioning of her arms crossing around her chest, Stein caved.
"You're just cruel." Stein said. Marie smiled and knelt down in front of the computer desk.
"Yeah, well, I've lived with you long enough." Marie said, typing in Stein's email address, his name and birth date. She checked the box that said 'I agree with these terms and conditions.'
"Ah, Marie, I'm not yet sure whether I agree with the-"
"Shut up, you agree with the terms and conditions. Nobody reads them. Not even you." Marie said, sternly. Stein rolled his eyes and sunk further back into his chair, crossing his arms. Marie looked back at him and laughed.
"You look about fifteen when you do that, Stein." Marie said. Stein's glare deepened.
"Fourteen." she smirked. Stein rolled his eyes and sat up straighter, placing his hands on the desk in front of him.
"I just don't get the appeal of Facebook, Marie. It seems pointless." Stein said.
"Well… yes, it mostly is. But there are some useful things on there." Marie explained.
"Any that spring to mind?" Stein asked. Marie glared at him.
"Well... there's… Farmville?" Marie said, turning around and waiting for the next screen to load.
"What in Death's name is Farmville?" Stein asked. Marie smirked slightly.
"Well, you run a virtual farm, and you can give other people things, like sheep, or-"
"And what exactly am I going to do with a virtual sheep, Marie?" Stein asked. Marie sighed.
"I don't know, maybe you can return it to its virtual Little Bo Peep." Marie exclaimed.
"Virtual sheep. Well, that's… that's just grand." Stein chuckled. Marie smirked and let Stein see the screen.
"Look. Because I put in the DWMA as your alma mater, all of these people come up. See, there's Sid, there's Spirit, and look, there's me." Marie smiled. Stein blinked twice and looked at the screen.
"So… you're saying this site has enough information on me already to tell who I went to school with, correct?" Stein asked. Marie sighed and stood up.
"Just click on 'Add as Friend' whenever you see someone you know, Stein." Marie said. Stein narrowed his eyes.
"Well, see, I've a problem with that." Stein replied. Marie sighed and turned around.
"Yes, Stein?" Marie asked.
"Well, see, I know a lot of these people, yes, but very few of them I consider friends. Most are simply acquaintances, some of them I can barely say I'm acquainted with." Stein said. Marie sighed and her head dropped into her hands.
"Are you from this century?" Marie asked.
"Technically I was born last century. Last millennium, actually." Stein said, a small smirk appearing on his face. Marie furrowed her brows and put her hands on her hips.
"You're putting this on, aren't you?" Marie asked. Stein shrugged.
"Oh, Marie, am I really the type of man to do that?" Stein smirked. Marie growled and narrowed her eyes even further.
"I hate you sometimes." Marie said.
"Yes, only sometimes.That's less than most people hate me." Stein replied, turning back to the computer screen. Of course he knew how to use Facebook; he'd just never seen the use. Plus, he was rather fond of riling up Marie. He wasn't afraid of the Pulveriser, and was possibly the only person in the world that could say that.
"Yes, Stein, but most people don't hate you. They're too scared of you to hate you." Mare walked behind Stein, resting her chin on his shoulder and looking at what he was doing.
"You have to add Spirit, Stein." Marie said. Stein groaned like a teenager and slouched.
"I don't want to." Stein whined.
"You have to." Marie said.
"No, I don't." Stein said, defiantly. Marie glared at him.
"Franken Stein, if you don't add Spirit as a friend, I'll kill you. Because you know what's going to happen. Spirit's going to notice you have an account, because you've added Sid, Mira and I as friends. He'll go 'Oh, hey, Stein, you've got a Facebook account?' And then what are you going to say?" Marie asked. Stein replied in a deadpan tone.
"I'll say 'Spirit, I haven't added you as a friend on Facebook because I'm not very fond of you, you irritate the living daylights out of me and- Hey!" Stein exclaimed, grabbing for the mouse, but Marie had clicked on 'Add as Friend' on Spirit's account before the meister could do anything about it.
"I'm going for a shower." Marie smiled sweetly, kissing Stein on the cheek and flitting out of the room. Stein rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"She's conniving… she's learnt well." Stein thought to himself. Stein clicked on the news feed button and looked at Spirit's latest status.
Spirit Albarn is having a lovely conversation with the lovely Arisa-chan and the equally-as-lovely Risa-chan – at Chupa Cabra's.
"So he's posting statuses… whilst talking to people?" Stein asked himself. He shook his head and continued scrolling down the page. After a while, he found this to be boring. He decided to post his first status update.
Franken Stein has been forced onto this infernal site by Marie Mjolnir. It begins.
He hit 'Enter,' and after no more than a minute, a notification popped up. Stein clicked on it and waited for the page to load.
Franken Stein has been forced onto this infernal site by Marie Mjolnir. It begins.
Spirit Albarn *makes whipping noises*
Stein grumbled at Spirit's comment. He was about to reply when he saw another notification. It seemed that Azusa had liked Spirit's comment.
That was odd.
Azusa never socialised with Spirit in the real world.
"Hmm," Stein thought, "This could be interesting."
Perhaps the rules were different on Facebook. Perhaps Stein could spend a bit of time on this site. It could prove useful in his pursuit for knowledge.
Stein began to scroll once more.
"Stein… Honey… Stein?" Marie asked, rubbing her eyes and glancing out into the living area of the laboratory.
"Shh." Stein replied. Marie raised an eyebrow and walked out into the living room, wearing only her underwear and one of Stein's labcoats pulled around her.
"What are you doing?" Marie yawned. Stein mumbled something incoherent.
"What?" Marie asked.
"Sending Spirit a virtual sheep." Stein replied, clicking twice. Marie bit her lip.
"Oh, Death," Marie thought to herself, "What have I done?"
"Stein, do you think it's really appropriate sending virtual sheep at two in the morning?" Marie asked. Stein shrugged.
"Did you know Shinigami-sama has his own fan page? Thousands of likes, Marie." Stein said. Marie sighed and shook her head.
"Stein, come to bed." Marie said.
"Give me a minute, Marie." Stein replied, clicking on some virtual crops.
"Stein, why are you playing Farmville?" Marie asked.
"You yourself said it was one of the good aspects of this site." Stein said. Marie shook her head.
"I'm going back to bed." Marie said, shuffling back into their bedroom. Stein simply continued to click away, and did so for a good fifteen more minutes.
"Stein, come to bed, now." Marie alled from the bedroom. When she got no response, she sighed. This would all for drastic measures.
"I'm naked." she called, once more. After about 15 seconds, she heard the ever familiar sound of Stein's computer shutting down.
It was good to know that her naked form trumped virtual sheep.