Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I am not in love with Valtor and I never will be. I am also not in love with Stella or any other members of the Winx Club. I am only in love with Sky- certainly never Diaspro. I do not have any other siblings except Daphne, so no, your self-inserts cannot become my multiple long-lost siblings. Deal with it!

Signed: Bloom

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I know the website's motto is unleash your imagination, but this? I think you unleashed a bit too much of it. What kind of twisted mind does it take to come up with some of those pairings I saw? I mean, really now? Cut it out!

Signed: Musa

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I must beseech you to stop writing such syntax and spelling riddled trash. It is an insult to my intelligence when I have to force myself through such… incompetence. If I see you write like that again, I will hack your computers and put a spell on you that you'll never be able to publish again until you get it right. Understood?

Signed: Tecna

Look here, you worthless pieces of trash:

You had better stop writing that crap about me! Understand? Or else, I'll induce more than hypothermia in you! Got it? Stop writing that crap!

Threateningly: Icy

Fanfiction Writers:

Normally I have a way with words, but when I read your… "stories", it actually made me draw a complete blank as to what to say. Bloom is my mortal enemy. I did not have sexual relations with that fairy and I never will. Get those ideas out of your head, otherwise I'll remove it for you. Painfully.

Or Else: Valtor.

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Please stop writing those horrible stories about my sister and her friends, please? Flora hasn't left the house for two weeks! Apparently she got a recipe from Faragonda for vodka-flavoured peppermint tea and that's all she's been drinking since then! Please! I want my sister back!

Pleadingly: Miele

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Through your writing and some of your reactions when told to fix it, I can see that you have a clear lack of discipline and sometimes it seems as if you have not even a modicum of common sense. See to it that your writing is fixed or else expect a rejection letter from Alfea or any other college you apply to.

Signed: Griselda


You Can't Spell This

Lyrics by: OldStoneface

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

My, my, my writing hits me so hard

Makes me say "Oh, my Lord"

Thank you for blessing me

With a mind to write and vocabulary

It feels good, when you know you're down

A super dope ficcer from the Underground

And I'm known as such

And this is a word, uh, you can't spell

I told you, poser

(You can't spell this)

Yeah, that's how we writing and you know

(You can't spell this)

Look at my chappie bro

(You can't spell this)

Yo, let me bust the first person

(You can't spell this)

Fresh new challenge, advance

You gotta like that, now, you know you wanna write

So move, inta your seat

And get a keyboard and catch this heat

While the muse is rollin', flowin down your hands

Type a little bit and send it to ya fans

Like that, like that

Burnin through the words so fall them back

Let 'em know, that you're too much

And this is a word, uh, you can't spell

Yo, I told you

(You can't spell this)

Why you standin' there, man?

(You can't spell this)

Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka

(You can't spell this)

Give me a challenge or a oneshot

Makin' 'em sweat, cause my story is hot

Now, they know

You talkin' about the plot, you talkin' about the flow

That's hype and type

Readers are gushin' with OMG

Cause they see the words, written by me

What's it gonna take to make the fanbrats see?

The stats? Legit

Either write more or you might as well quit

That's words, because well you know

You can't spell this, you can't spell this

Break it down

Stop, Grammar time

Stay away from Sue, it is said

If you make her too perfect

Then she's better off dead

So give her some faults if you can dare

Give her bed-head

Or some tangles in her hair

This is it, for a winner

Write like this and you'll be a tale spinner

Write, slide your mouse

Hold on a damn minute, grammar's in the house house, house

Yeah

(You can't spell this)

Look, noob

(You can't spell this)

Learn to type, troll

Because you know you can't

(You can't spell this)

Ring the bell, school's back in

Break it down

Stop, Grammar time

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Break it down

Stop, Grammar time

Every time you see me

The Grammar's just so hype

I'm king of the fandom, a god when I type

Now why would I ever stop writing fics?

With others stamping out troll-stuff that just ain't it

I've uploaded beaucoup stories, from Captain Planet to da Winx

It's "Grammar, go Grammar, MC Grammar, yo, Grammar"

Any other writer kinda stinks.

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Dah dahdahdah dahdah dah dah...

You can't spell this

Yeah, you can't spell this

I told you, you can't spell this

Can't type? Can't spell this

Retake English 101, you can't spell this!


And that's a wrap, folks! The final chapter of Oh My Dragon! There Are Fanfictions of Us! is over! Special thanks go out to OldStoneface who wrote You Can't Spell This ages ago and is an awesome Beta/mod over at Underground Fanfictioners!

If you haven't already, check out Magic Winx! Fanfictionix! for more fun, where I actually parody the stories they react to! You won't regret it!

Thanks for reading!