Title: Police Academy – Becoming Blue
Chapter 1 – Crossing Over
Summary: The youngest member of the Reagan clan joins the Police Academy. But coming in with the name Reagan will garner the right and wrong attention. Can Jamie make it to graduation? Or will certain jealous elements force him to leave?
Disclaimer: Sadly I own noting from Bluebloods except my DVD's and my crazy muse.
A/N: Okay so I am still going to do the 3rd story in my 'Blue' Series and have Cappezari come back to target Jamie but I got this idea after hearing something Frank said in the last eppy and then allowing my muse Alice to expand upon the idea. So I hope you all like this!
Jamie looks down at the cup of coffee still grasped in his hands and feels his stomach tighten once more. He can't remember a time when he was this nervous – ever. Well maybe he could but this was different. His warm blue eyes drift toward a folded piece of paper atop a plain white envelop with a distinct seal on it and for a few seconds he closes his eyes and gives his head a shake.
What am I doing? Do I want this? His mind asks over and over, the answers always the same. I am doing what I want and yes. It was simple but then if it was that plain and simple why was he feeling this anxious and frustrated. He knows but just doesn't want to actually verbalize the words.
'Frank you have to promise me…'
'Anything Mary, name it.'
'Jamie…I don't want him to become an officer. Make sure he stays in law.'
It was something Jamie wasn't meant to overhear and it was something he'd never tell his father he had overheard when his father was at his dying mother's bedside. How could he say no to her then? Of course he had to give in. Jamie's mind thinks back to that moment when he heard his father give in, his mind already in conflict that he didn't want to take the bar upon graduation, that he was thinking of joining the police academy instead; his went to his room and silently cried.
A noise breaks his thoughts, forcing Jamie's tormented gaze to look up and out the window into the busy Manhattan street, his hand finally complying with his brain to bring the cup to his lips and take a sip of the dark stimulant.
"Dad I joined the police academy," Jamie mumbles to himself, his mind an immediate contradiction between elation and concern. Would his dad be happy after he had promised their mother who had recently died that Jamie would not become an officer? Would his brother back his decision or would he not want to think of possibly losing another younger sibling in the line of duty?
If he was honest, Joe's death was also part of the reason he wanted to join the force, to add one more Reagan name to the mix; and coupled with the stories he'd listen to his oldest brother sharing at the weekly dinner table, garnering the approval from his father and grandfather, it all seemed to cement in his mind and heart that he wanted to be blue; NYPD blue.
"Dad I joined the police academy," Jamie tries again, this time with a bit more conviction, leaning back in his chair and then glancing over at anther piece of paper with a Harvard seal on it. He had lost his mother and more recently his brother and now to be grappling with this kind of decision after spending more than a few years accumulating debts for a professional he'll never put his name on was mental insanity.
"What am I doing?" Jamie waffles as he reaches for the Harvard paper, unfolding it and looking at his final grades. Of course they were near perfect, it's what he had expected of himself and knew what his family had expected of him as well. But toward the final part of his last year before graduation, serious doubts had taken root and refused to let go, instead growing steadily each time he was around his father and brother, silently reveling in the stories of bravery, courage and of course loss and frustration.
But the honor that came with proudly displaying an NYPD shield seemed to outweigh the personal follies that came with the job, including the modest salary.
'Being blue isn't about makin' a lot of money,' he had overheard Danny telling his oldest son, 'its about the pride and respect that that color and shield represent.'
Those words…that conviction had made Jamie's heart swell with pride and it was that night that he had mailed off his application for the police academy.
He had told himself to keep it under wraps that he was thinking of joining in the off chance that he wasn't accepted. He didn't want to automatically assume because of his last name that he'd be given automatic consideration; he was hoping his other qualifications would earn him a seat in the fall intake, putting his graduation the following summer.
Jamie knows that entering the police academy will bring a certain instant stigma attached to his name, his mind knowing that most will expect him to do as well as his two brothers that had been through earlier. It could gain him instant respect.
I can do this…of course I can do this…they did it…I can to. He tries to convince himself as he takes another sip. But not being a blind fool he knows that his name will also garner the wrong attention, those who perhaps didn't see eye to eye with his father's style of leadership or had a personal vendetta against them as well. This wasn't going to be just a walk through central park.
Jamie hears some soft laughter and looks a few tables over at a woman that bears a small resemblance to his current fiancé Sydney. He hadn't told her either. Would she still support his decision? Or would she be upset that he made it without consulting her? Her being one of his biggest supporters all throughout Harvard Law, her also being a graduate and about to take the bar.
'This is great we can rise through the ranks together and maybe open our own law practice together one day,' she had gushed enthusiastically one night during their graduation year; a few months back. Now he was about to break that promise by telling her he was going to abandon their plans and pursue his own professional dream, carrying on the Reagan family tradition.
With that thought now taking hold of him, Jamie quickly finishes his coffee, gathers up all his papers and leaves the small back booth of the busy coffee shop, heading for his shared loft apartment.
"Hey Syd you here?" Jamie calls out as he enters the quiet dwelling. He quickly puts things away and then heads into the kitchen, his mind racing with wonder as to how his fiancé would react upon hearing the news. They were supposed to get married next summer but the exact date might be delayed due to these new events.
Jamie starts to pull out a few things for dinner and then goes to do the laundry, wanting to keep his mind occupied and himself busy until he told Sydney what he feels is vey exciting news.
Course she'll be happy for me, she loves me right? I'd support her. His mind reasons as he finally hears her turning the door to enter their apartment. He heads for the door just as she enters and greets her with a warm smile and hug.
"To what do I owe this greeting?" Sydney asks in wonder.
"I'm not allowed to hug you when you come home?"
"Of course…" Sydney gives her head a small shake and then pulls back with a tender smile. "How was your day off?"
"Somewhat productive," Jamie answers a bit nervously as he follows after her into the kitchen, taking the small bag of groceries and then setting them down on to the counter.
"Yeah what did you do?" She wonders, her back still to him. But when she doesn't get an answer, she turns to him with a wondering expression. "Jamie?"
For a few seconds an inner war wages about how to tell or just to blurt it out and then deal with the aftermath, the latter won out.
"I was accepted to the Police Academy," Jamie states with a nervous smile.
Sydney looks at him in utter shock and is unable to speak for a few seconds. "Um…what? The police academy? As what, a guest speaker?"
"No as um…a recruit," Jamie gently stammers, his agitation skyrocketing. "That's great….right?"
"Why didn't you tell me you were applying?" She asks almost crossly, holding back her disappointment.
"I thought…I wasn't sure I'd get in f…"
"You're a Reagan, they'll practically role out the damn red carpet," she bites back with an angry shake of her head. "And what about the bar?"
"I'm uh…not going to take it," Jamie answers in truth.
"After all that time in Harvard?"
"I know shoulda thought about that..."
"A few years back," she interjects. "And the cost?"
"I've thought of all that I s…"
"Really? Or were you just so caught up in one of your brother's glory moments last Sunday at family supper that you forgot about what we had planned and just decided to do your own thing, thinking only of yourself?"
"This doesn't change us Sydney, only my career decision. I thought you'd be happy for me."
"It does so change us. What about our plans to pass the bar together, get experience and then work on opening our own law practice as partners? Together?"
"This is what I want."
"Again with just you."
"Shouldn't I want to do something that makes me happy?"
"Paying off a whole crap load of student loans for something you'll never use, does that make you happy? Because basically you just took nearly one hundre…"
"I know the cost and I know what this means," Jamie argues back. "I want to work for the NYPD like the rest of my family."
"Joe's dead," she retorts angrily and Jamie grits his teeth.
"I know that," Jamie replies with a softer tone, making her face instantly soften. "I want to do this."
"And you want my support?"
"I was hoping for that," he answers matter of factly.
"Your father happy about this?"
"I told you first. Look I know it's not what we planned but…"
"And you know you won't be making much money right?"
"Yeah I know," Jamie nods as he slumps down into a nearby chair, Sydney walking up to the one beside him and easing herself down into it. "I want this, I really do."
"Why didn't you tell me you were planning this?"
"Because we had made plans and I know what you said after Joe died," Jamie says as he looks up at her with a tormented look, his mind thinking back to the evening of Joe's memorial service.
'I'm just glad you aren't going anywhere near the police force. I'd never want to go through that.'
"I wasn't meaning to guilt you into not being open with me."
"I had to do this…for me on my own. I didn't ask my father, my brother or you because I have to…I want to do this for me."
"Joe died. Jamie I don't want to lose you."
"Danny's still…you won't okay?"
"And tell me this isn't some kind of personal crusade to replace your brother in your father or Danny's eyes."
"I am doing this for me," Jamie insists. "Sydney I'm sorry I wasn't honest with myself right from the start but I just wanted to get in on my own merit."
"You honestly think that once your father finds out that he won't pull a few strings to get you fast tracked somehow?"
"Trust me he won't do that," Jamie relates in truth. "He knows if he cheats he'll lose all credibility and he'd never take that chance."
The two of them sit in silence a bit longer before Jamie's hand slowly snakes out and rests on Sydney's hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "This will work."
"You are going to school for another what…six to seven months? And now we'll be living off my single income?"
"I can get a job…"
"We both know the schedule in intense from what Joe told you. I'm sure you've already looked it up so don't tell me something just to make me feel better."
"I've put my loans on hold," Jamie confesses.
"Right," Sydney sighs as she pulls her hand back and just stares absently into the living room area behind him.
"This is gonna work."
"Okay," she turns back to him with a tight-lipped smile. "Supper right?"
"You've made up your mind right?"
"Do you not want me to go?"
"Oh no…I'm not gonna be the one to make the final say in this and be blamed by you if you don't agree. You have to make this decision."
"Will you support me?"
She looks at him and frowns, her mind signaling her heart to give in but not being strong enough to erase completely the seeds of doubt and betrayal that were now taking root deep inside her soul; feelings that would be allowed to foster and grow, their future now in doubt.
"I will but this can't become too much of a burden for me also," she reminds him as she gets up out of the chair and heads into the kitchen.
"It won't, I promise," Jamie states almost eagerly as he gets up to join her.
"Okay then. When do you tell your family?"
"And when do you start?"
"Next week with the new fall intake," he answers in haste. "So supper?"
"Let's just have something light okay? Just not that hungry anymore."
"Sure," Jamie nods, feeling a small lump of emotion hardening in his throat and being unable to swallow it. He studies her face and knows she's hiding her true feelings of disappointment, maybe even abandonment? He hadn't discussed it with her and now fears that he's maybe started to create the beginning of an emotional chasm that will slowly get wider and then reach the point of no return.
"Anything else you're hiding from me?" She asks with some disdain.
"That isn't fair," Jamie lightly groans. "Sydney I'm sorry I just had to…"
"Yeah I know...do it for yourself," she looks up with a tormented expression. "Just wish you had trusted me." And with that she pushes past him and heads for the bathroom, his fist landing on the countertop the same time she slams the door shut; dinner would be moot and the night head long and fraught with mental uncertainty.
True to his surmise, Jamie's night was restless and spent most of it awake, either staring up the ceiling or in a chair staring out the window into the milky night wondering if he had just been the sole cause of his future self destructing. Sure Sydney had told him that she was willing to support his decision but he could tell by her tone and cool body language this morning that she still wasn't happy and he wonders what kind of support she'll offer during his time at the academy. Or was this the slow start of a downward spiral?
He feels the police academy acceptance letter pressing against his chest and swallows. What would his father say? He knows his grandfather will probably be very happy and proud but his father had promise his mother that he stay the safe route and stick with law. Would he be mad now? What would Danny say? Would he have their support? With Sydney's on the subtle decline he would have to depend on his family, especially his brother to get through this.
Jamie's mind drifts toward Danny and linger. He and his oldest brother were never really that close, Joe was always more attentive and affectionate toward the youngest Reagan sibling; another reason that had cemented his desire to be in the NYPD. But with Joe gone and Jamie not wanting to turn to this father for everything, would Danny mind helping him from time to time? Or would he pass off his youngest brother as a mere irritation that should have stuck with his original career choice.
Jamie slows his pace as he nears his father's house, feeling his heart rate starting to rise and his stomach tighten further.
"Dad I joined the Police Academy," Jamie whispers to himself, wanting to boost his confidence as he slowly climbs the stairs, his mind still trying to anticipate his father's reaction to the surprising news.
"It was my choice and I want to do this," Jamie whispers to himself once more, his hand pausing before pulling the key and pushing the door open.
"Dad I joined the Police Academy," Jamie repeats once more before he unlocks the door and then steps into his father's inviting house. "Anyone home?"
"In here," Frank's warm voice calls out, followed by Henry's welcome. Jamie leaves his jacket on as he slowly heads for the kitchen, his hear rate nearing critical and his mind racing. He stands in the doorway and is greeted by two smiling faces.
"Hey kid take your jacket off and join us for supper," Henry greets him with a warm smile.
"I um…can't stay long but I…" Jamie pauses, making Frank look up from his task at the island and gaze at his son in wonder.
"Jamie, what happened?" Frank inquires, his fatherly radar instantly kicking in.
"I have….news…good news but news…"
"You're getting married," Henry teases, getting a small warning glance from Frank. "He looks almost panic-stricken, what else can it be?"
"Pop he's already engaged. Jamie what is it?" Frank asks again.
"I joined the Police Academy."
A/N: Thoughts so far? How will the family react, Danny included and what do you think Jamie's first day is gonna be like? Easy or will he quickly become a target of jealous recruits?
Okay so since we don't know much about Jamie's time during police academy I'm making most of it up. Despite the fact that I didn't like Sydney she will have to factor a bit into this but this is gonna be heavy Jamie/Danny b/c I love to write my brothers the most with of course father/son moments and the rest of the family in there at times as well.
So should I continue? Interested to see how he makes it through? Please review before you go and thanks so much in advance!