So skimmingsurfaces and I have created a little crossover of sorts~

Pinky and the Brain board the TITANIC!

And, in typical PatB fashion, we spoofed a little bit of modern culture by incorporating elements of James Cameron's Titanic

And it is finished, but super long, so expect a chapter to be thrown up every day or so!


The year was 1912 and two mice stood on the docks of Southhampton, England in anticipation of boarding the massive RMS Titantic. One mouse, the shorter of the two, lowered his binoculars and gave a small smile, his pink eyes betraying the glee he felt. His plan was perfect! They would commandeer the mighty ship, this aptly name titan of the seas, and use it to further his goal of taking over the world!

"There it is, Pinky. The mighty Titanic. They key to my plan for world conquest!"

Pinky dug a finger into his ear, gazing in awe at the Olympic-class ocean liner. 882 feet long, 175 feet tall, and 46,328 tons - it was the biggest ship of its kind and it was leaving that very day for New York. "Naaaarf! It must be a really big lock, Brain!"

Brain only twitched, in too good a mood to let his associate's ridiculous behavior bother him overmuch. "Indeed. Now we need only secure passage before the vessel sets sail. Come, Pinky." He leapt off the coil of rope they'd been standing upon and started off.

Pinky followed, fiddling with the cuffs of the suit coat he'd been instructed to wear for the occasion, as he gaped at all the fancily dressed people boarding the ship. He paused to admire a lovely dress, rose-colored with a flower cinching it around the middle, but was dragged away by his necktie when Brain took note of his meandering. The shorter mouse also dressed smartly, the crowd aboard the ship with which he'd be mingling with required such a state of dress.

The journey to the boarding dock had been slightly perilous, the two mice narrowly avoided getting squashed by loads of baggage and squished by the hoards of passengers. As they arrived before the majestic ship, Brain rubbed his paws together before turning to his associate. Pinky could've been catching flies with the way his mouth hung open in awe of the steel giant. A quick bop to the head solved this.

"Pinky, the tickets." Brain commanded, holding out his hand expectantly. He required his own pockets to be filled with necessary information to assist him in commandeering the ship, so he'd trusted the taller mouse with the vital slips of paper.

"Hmm?" Pinky whipped his head around to focus on Brain, his attention still wandering. "Gee, Brain, how does a big metal thingamadoo stay afloat on the water like that?"

"I'd explain it to you, but the ship would be from New York and back before you managed to grasp the complexities of displacement. Now, please, Pinky, the tickets!"

Pinky scratched the top of his head as he tilted it to one side. "Tickets to what? Poit."

Brain's hands curled into fists and his face contorted, a growl escaping for a moment before he was able to battle back the urge to do something violent. He straightened his bowtie instead. "What are we here for, Pinky?" His companion opened his mouth to respond, but Brain quickly cut him off, fearing more inanity. "The Titanic! We need those tickets in order to board."

"Well there's plenty of boards over here we can use." Pinky gestured to the other end of the dock where a stack of wooden planks sat. "I don't see why we need to waste tickets on them. We can go to a lovely dinner theatre instead! Narf!"

That was enough. Brain leapt up, crashing his fist down hard upon his associate's head. And when Pinky's legs gave out and he started to laugh, Brain dug into the taller mouse's coat in search of the tickets. "One simple task, Pinky... You had one task."

Pinky squirmed as his pockets were plundered, his laughter not petering out. "Oh, are you looking for those little slips of paper? You should've said so, Brain!" He reached into his coat and pulled out one slightly crinkled ticket, but it's twin was not as fortunate. It had been folded into an oddly shaped bird. "Here you go!" With a pleased smile, Pinky handed over the tickets to the acclaimed ship.

Brain stared at the unfortunate origami attempt before snatching both from Pinky's grasp and jerkily unfolding the "bird." At least this one had what could loosely be called wings. "I see you've been practicing," was as close as he would come to a compliment. "Now come, Pinky. We'll want to make sure our quarters are suitable for the journey." His lips twitched as he imagined ending the journey in the captain's quarters. One step closer to ruling the world!

Pinky giggled as he followed his friend, taking notice of Brain's improved mood. "Good thing I polished mine before we left! I also did the nickels and dimes too! Troz! Nice and shiny!"

"Well, let's hope the pennies didn't feel left out," Brain muttered and straightened his coat as they approached the growing line to board the mighty vessel.

With an overly dramatic gasp, Pinky clapped both hands to his face. "I knew I forgot something!" He spun around as if to dash off in search of his pennies, but the sharp tug on his tail prevented him from going anywhere. "But Brain! The pennies!" They moved forward in the line, more people cramming in behind them. Pinky's ears wilted, there was no way he could get through the throng of people now. "Poit..."

"Enough, Pinky, there are more important things to consider! More than mere pennies await us, my friend." His back straightened, eyes gleaming. "You and I are on the very cusp of world domination!"

Perking up at this reassurance, Pinky turned around to face the ship once more. "How will this boat help us do that, Brain?"

Brain glared up at his companion. "I've explained this to you several times, Pinky." Though he knew from experience that he would probably have to explain several more times. "You and I shall map this unsinkable ship from bow to stern in order to create blueprints that will allow us to duplicate this grand vessel a hundred times over! Then we shall position our mighty fleet at the optimum positions in order to overwhelm the world's navies. With waterways locked and under our control, it will be a simple matter to take over the world!" His excitement had grown during the explanation and, with the last triumphant exclamation, he rose to his toes and lifted his fists.

In tandem with the shorter mouse, Pinky's enthusiasm shot up and he clapped his hands together once Brain finished his spiel. "Egad, Brain, brilliant!" Hopping from foot to foot, he thought for sure Brain had a winning plan! Except... "Oh no, no. That won't work. How will you steer all the big boats by yourself?" Holding his index finger and thumb together in front of his eye, he squinted. "You're so little. Well, except for your head. Poit."

More deflated by the flaw than he was insulted by the adjective - though the head comment earned a small glare - Brain dropped back to the flats of his feet and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose I'll have to invent auto-pilot." He waved a hand, dismissing the subject for the time being. They had reached the front of the line, so Brain whipped out the tickets and offered them.

"Lord Brain of Lumpfordchestershire?" the man asked, looking from the name on the ticket to the rather small, albino man.

Brain straightened, adjusting his lapels minutely. "Yes. And this is my..." Brain trailed off, watching Pinky dig in his ear. He'd been considering granting him the title of duke, but that was now absolutely out of the question. "My manservant, Pinkerton."

Pinky's eyes widened at the title, obviously the title unknown to him, for he took great pride in it. After clasping his hands under his chin and shooting The Brain a grateful look, he stood straight. Head held high and tail at attention. "Narf!" If he got to be Brain's man-thingie, he would do his best! Though the name he got sounded sort of silly, he was used to their silly names by now.

The steward glanced at Pinky, baffled by the exclamation no doubt, but allowed the pair passage. "Welcome aboard the RMS Titanic, Lord Brain and escort."

"Yes!" Brain exclaimed and started up the wooden ramp that would take them to the deck of the ship. Though he did take notice when the steward handed Pinky some papers. Their room assignment, no doubt.

Sticking his tongue out the side of his mouth, Pinky twisted the papers about at odd angles. Blue eyes squinted as they roved over the print, then grew wide as he looked from document to document. "Brain! Brain!" He darted up the ramp after him, waving the papers about madly. "I think they made a mistake! Narf! They put us in two different rooms, Brain! We'll have to tell them to change it!" He grabbed onto Brain's suitcoat and tugged several times, to emphasize his concern over the matter.

"Pinky, stop it! You'll ruin these clothes!" He jerked away from the mouse, alighting on the deck. He gazed at those already on board, eyes gleaming. The maiden voyage of such a splendid ship was cause for much fanfare among the general populace. It was perfect!

Pinky's distress only continued to mount, no longer interested in the extravagant outfits and the interesting crowd they were mingling with. He wrung the papers between his paws, glancing down at them again to make sure he wasn't just imagining it. While counting wasn't his strong suit, Pinky certainly knew that the numbers for his and Brain's room did not match up at all. He reached out once more, but remembered Brain's words, so he retracted his hand and instead tried to step in his field of vision.

He held up the papers so Brain could see them, poking his head around them. "But Brain! The rooms! They're not the same!"

Brain rolled his eyes, snatching the pages away to study them himself and prove Pinky wrong. His scowl faded, though, as he noted that his simple-minded friend was surprisingly right. They weren't even on the same level of the ship! That certainly put a hitch in his plans. "Hm. You would appear to be correct, Pinky. It seems we shan't be rooming together on this trip."

Wringing his paws together, Pinky nodded, relieved that Brain finally saw this awful mistake. But clearly they could fix it now. The Brain could fix anything! "Well, we'll just have to go tell the ship people to fix it then, won't we?" He straightened up, looking around to see if he could spot anyone who could assist them. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he hollered, "Hello? Who works for this boat?"

He received several odd glances in exchange, followed by the haughty upturns of the members of the upperclass' noses. Indignantly, Pinky placed his hands on his hips. "Well, same to you!"

The Brain quickly latched onto Pinky's necktie, dragging him down so they were eye-to-eye. "Quiet, Pinky! We can't simply tell someone to change this! It's a final decision thanks to those immigration laws!" He tugged sharply on the tie and it snapped up, smacking Pinky right in the face.

Brain stepped back, scanning the pages. "You, my friend, have been designated as a third class citizen, seeing that you are my manservant." He folded the pages, tucking them under his arm for the time being. "We'll merely have to find a way to work around this inconvenience. It may add a day or two to the schedule."

"But if I'm yours, shouldn't I get to sleep with you?" Pinky inquired, tapping his chin thoughtfully as he glanced skyward before turning his curious blue eyes on Brain.

The suggestiveness of the words went over Brain's head entirely as he began re-calculating his plans based on these unfortunate room assignments. "No, Pinky. Immigration laws are strictly enforced on ships such as this or we could all end up quarantined for forty days. Such a delay is not only expensive, but damaging to a company's reputation! Therefore, until I manage to commandeer this ship, you will be in your room and I will be in mine."

Ears drooped and shoulders slumped, Pinky's expression went completely downtrodden as his eyes filled up with tears. Not one for containing his emotions, Pinky began to wail, clutching at Brain with no regard for his fine clothes. "But, Brain, I don't want to sleep in my room! I want to sleep in yours!"

Since his eyes were squeezed shut so he could properly cry, he paid no notice to the gathering of on-lookers who seemed appalled and intrigued by this display between two (rather short) males. Pinky just tried to bury his face in Brain's chest, hunched over since his height made it difficult otherwise.

"Stop it, Pinky! Stop it!" Brain hissed, trying to shove Pinky away. He'd noticed the drawn gazes and this was certainly not the attention he'd been aiming to get. The future ruler of the world couldn't be seen getting cried on by his manservant!

Pinky's grip was tight however, attached to Brain like some kind of overgrown white, furry leech. Sniffling, Pinky blinked up at Brain. "But I can't sleep well without you, Brain! The bed will be soooo lonely!"

Getting cried on by his extremely suggestive manservant, Brain realized with some horror. Color flooded his cheeks and he wriggled desperately. "It'll only be for a few days," he snapped, trying to keep his voice quiet. "Now let go!"

With a restrained whimper, Pinky obeyed, still sniffling and red-eyed from crying. "W-will you still ask me if I'm p-p-pondering what you're pondering?"

He slapped a hand to his brow, wiping it down his face to distract himself from the mortification. "Pinky, I'll still see you fairly regularly. We have a plan to implement."

Pinky blinked at Brain uncomprehendingly. He understood the "see" just fine, but the rest of it went over his head. "...Is that a maybe?"

"It's a yes, you feeble-minded boob." Brain fixed his suit, scowling darkly. This was not the first impression he'd been hoping to make. When the book of his accomplishments was published, this scene would most certainly be overlooked. "Now come along, Pinky. We'll take a cursory tour while everyone's distracted by the festivities."