This is just a little plot bunny that I couldn't get out of my head. Set after "Parenting Done Right", this story focuses on Will's reaction and emotions concerning the end of his and Alicia's romance. Set to the song "Not Over You" by Gavin Degraw, though the song isn't included in in it's entirety. The lyrics sometimes act as shifts in the story, so be sure to pay attention to that. If you haven't heard the song before, give it a listen, the story will be all the more enjoyable!
There isn't much dialogue to this, mostly just an exploration of Will's thoughts. Enjoy :)
I stare at a picture of you
And listen to the radio
Will wasn't one for nostalgia. He found little to no value in age-old keepsakes, and he tried not to dwell in the past.
He had a total of four pictures in office, all of which were tucked away in his desk. The first one was of him and his sister, the second was his parents, and the third was of himself and a few buddies when they graduated law school.
The fourth was a photo of him and Alicia that someone had snapped during the mock trial that they had worked on together back at Georgetown. They seemed to be laughing at something, but he couldn't remember what.
He didn't like to keep pictures.
He didn't like to dwell on the past.
But Alicia was his exception.
Alicia was his exception to everything.
Oh, oh there's a conversation.
We both admit we had it good.
It had been awkward at first, working together after they had ended their torrid affair. At first they tried to ignore it, talking about nothing but work. It was an unspoken agreement that their personal lives were off limits for the time being.
Will of course, was the first one to break.
They had bumped into each other in the parking lot one night, and he could no longer handle the avoidance between the two of them.
"Alicia, wait." Will calmly called out across the parking lot. They both looked at each other, with evident sadness in their eyes. Both of their feet were firmly planted on the ground, afraid of what would happen if they dared to move.
Alicia's hand was gripping the door handle of her car, holding on to the only thing that she had left.
Will smiled a small smile at her timid state, and slowly walked over to where she stood.
"Will, don't." whispered Alicia. She looked down, avoiding his eyes at all cost. She wasn't ready for this conversation.
She hadn't been ready for any of it.
Will placed his hand on top of hers. "Alicia, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed us. You had a lot on your plate, and I just…I shouldn't have pushed. This is all my fault, and I don't want you to feel bad about it. Any of it, okay? asked Will softly.
Alicia lifted her gaze to his. " Will, no. This isn't your fault, we just had-
"Bad timing. " finished Will. " Seems to be our MO for this type of thing."
Alicia let out a small laugh, one that Will reciprocated.
"But we were good, weren't we?" Will asked, a tone of confidence in his voice.
"The two of us? Yeah, we were good." Alicia squeezed his hand for just a moment, a small smile escaping her lips. "Still are." whispered Alicia
Will slowly let go of her hand, opening her car door for her. Alicia placed her bag on the passenger seat, getting into her car.
Will paused, holding the door open as Alicia sat in the driver's seat. " Good." he said, slowly shutting the door to her car.
But from then it's alienation, I know
That much is understood.
He knew that everything would have to change once they had that conversation. Before they were just dancing around each other, not knowing how the other was feeling.
But they'd had their moment. Chalked it up to bad timing, as usual, and tried to move on with their lives.
Easier said then done.
Will wasn't used to feeling like this. He wasn't used to being hurt.
And even though he could barely stand it, he spent most of his time stealing glances at her while she wasn't looking.
So he went back to doing what he did best; ignoring the problem, hoping it would go away.
But he knew it wouldn't go away.
It had been twenty years, and he still wasn't over her.
He wasn't sure he ever would be.
He wasn't sure he ever wanted to be over Alicia Florrick.
If you ask me, how I'm doin', I would say I'm doin' just fine.
I would lie and say that's she's not on my mind.
Diane was the only one in his circle of friends who had known the exact nature of his relationship with Alicia.
She had trusted him to handle it. She had trusted him to do what was best for the firm.
Little did she know, Alicia had handled it for the both of them.
Diane had assumed that Alicia was the one who going to hurt the most from all of this. She would hurt, but she would get over it.
She hadn't considered how Will was going to feel, and he knew that. He knew he had a reputation for being somewhat of a playboy-after all, he was Chicago's 20th Most Eligible Bachelor.
But there was a reason he had been single for most of his life.
Finally, I'm forced to face the truth.
No matter what I say, I'm not over you.
He was alone, he always had been. He didn't have a family; he didn't have anyone to fall back on.
He had his job and he had Diane, and he thought that it would be enough. He didn't think
Until he had Alicia.
Alicia on the other hand, she had a family. She had her kids, and as much as she hated it, she had Peter. She would be okay, she would survive.
Alicia was stronger than he was.
She was the strongest person he knew.
I thought you were innocent,you took this heart and you put it through hell.
But still you're magnificent.
The problem was, she had no idea just how strong she was. She didn't know the power that she held over him, she didn't know much he felt about her.
She just didn't know.
And it wasn't that she played with his heart, or gambled their relationship away. She took their relationship for what it was-sex.
She cared about Will, she may have even loved him, but they weren't having a real, pure, relationship.
They were still testing the waters, seeing what they could get away with.
Which apparently wasn't much, considering the current investigation the State's Attorney's office was running.
I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me.
Turn around and I'm back in the game.
Will had his fair share of issues; he wasn't unfamiliar with setbacks in regards to his personal life.
When his relationship with Tammy had ended, he dealt with it and moved on. He didn't see the sense in dwelling on the past when you couldn't have changed the outcome.
He had thrown himself into his work, focusing on his client's personal lives as opposed to his own.
But again, not when it came to Alicia.
She seemed to be his exception to everything.
Even better than the old me
But I'm not even closer without you
Alicia made him a better person; there was no denying that. She seemed to have that affect on everyone, killing people with her kindness.
She had even managed to turn Eli Gould into a somewhat moral person.
After everything she had been through in the last two years, you expect her to be cold and unwilling, but she's the furthest thing from it.
You expect her to scream and to yell, to be angry and malicious, but there is this calming presence that follows her wherever she goes.
She of course, was unaware of the effect that she had on people, especially when it came to Will.
She had no idea of the amount of people that she had changed, the lives that she had made a difference in.
It was almost frustrating.
And If I had the chance to renew
You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do
He refused to give into himself, he refused to push.
He promised that he wouldn't bring up their relationship until she was ready.
He couldn't allow himself that luxury, he couldn't allow himself to feel better about their situation by making her feel worse.
He loved her too much for that.
He couldn't bring himself to hurt her even more-he was hurting enough for the both of them.
"You just have it time." Diane had said. "Neither of you can afford to embark on a relationship like this right now. Especially considering she is your married subordinate."
"Separated. Her and Peter are separated."
"Semantics. Will, listen to me." Diane spoke in an authoritative tone, her eyes narrowing as she spoke. "Even if she weren't married, even if you weren't her boss, it's just not smart. You need to focus on this investigation-you need to do what's right for this firm. And that does not include sleeping with Alicia Florrick."
Will knew all of this, even if her refused to admit to her.
Time is supposed to heal all wounds. But what do you do when time is the very thing that's hurting you?
He had given twenty years of time. He couldn't bare the thought of waiting even longer.
So until then
I go out and I sit down, at a table set for two.
He had learned to deal with the loneliness. He hadn't accepted it, but he had learned to deal with it.
He would go out to dinner by himself, or with his clients, but he spent most of his nights alone. There was no more sneaking around when Peter had taken the kids, no more hour-long lunch breaks.
Alicia needed to focus on her family, and their relationship had threatened the one thing that she cared most about.
He refused to be the one who would destroy her family-her husband had done enough of that.
He would wait.
He would wait for her.
Alicia Florrick was his exception.
Finally I'm forced to face the truth
No matter what I say, I'm not over you.
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Leave a review to let me know what you thought :)