A/N: I've been meaning to write this for awhile now, and I've finally got to it! It's not as good as I would have wanted it, but I think it'll do for now. This isn't my first one-shot, but it's "technically" the first I'm going to post on here since I deleted my actual first one-shot a long time ago.
They're a little OOC, so beware!
Summary: Was this really the Rukia he knew? Okay, maybe, if she could giggle and cry over manga and Korean dramas, she could fawn over whatever this was too. "Did I ever tell you about how people write stories about us on this website called 'fanfiction?'"
THE SEQUEL IS NOW UP! It's titled, "Ichigo Still Does Not Approve?"
Disclaimer: I do not own or claim any of the things in this story, except for Chappy grahams!
Ichigo Does Not Approve
Ichigo yawned and opened his fridge, hoping to find something edible. Unfortunately for him, the refrigerator was in the same stage it had been for the past three days, empty. Usually Rukia went shopping whenever he was at the university or studying for an exam, but lately, she's been doing nothing but hogging their –more like his- laptop.
He tried to question her about what exactly she was doing, but like always, she just ignored him and started laughing at whatever she was doing. It looked she was reading something, maybe a blog or an article?
It never really bothered him since Rukia was always like this –ignoring him-, but now he was getting really frustrated. Okay, sure, he was being a little selfish about this whole grocery shopping and food ordeal. He couldn't help it though, he was hungry! He would go out and get food, if only he had time. And he was sure Rukia had plenty of time on her hands. If she could sit in front of the computer all day and watch sappy Korean dramas on TV while eating 20 bowls of fruit loops, he knew she definitely had time to get some groceries. Plus, she was better at choosing food than he was. The only problem was when she spent all the money on some stupid Chappy merchandise she sees in a store display.
So he decided, today was the day he was going to make her get those groceries, whether she liked it or not.
Ichigo stomped over to his bedroom where he saw the bane of his existence, Kuchiki Rukia, sitting at his desk on the laptop. "Ruki-"
Rukia lifted her pointer finger at him without looking at him, implying that he shut up for a minute. "Hold on… it's getting to the good part."
"Wha-" Again, he was interrupted when Rukia squealed.
"How cute! He would never do that in real life though… but who cares?" Rukia scrolled down the page and continued to read whatever she was… reading?
"Wait, who wouldn't? What did they d- oh, whatever, why do I bother asking?" said Ichigo, metaphorically slapping his forehead. Why was he even bothering asking her anyways? She would probably just ignore him.
"Did I ever tell you about how people write stories about us on this website called 'fanfiction?' Well, in this one, we had a son and it was time to pick him up from the dojo. You were being paranoid so you came with me to pick him up, and then we went out for ice cream and played at the park," said Rukia, giggling to herself.
Ichigo just stared as if she grew another head. Was this really the Rukia he knew? Okay, maybe, if she could giggle and cry over manga and Korean dramas, she could fawn over whatever this was too. "Hold on just a sec? What do you mean people write stories about us? And we had a son?"
Rukia turned her head over to him and gawked at him, "You mean you don't know? Everyone's been talking about it! Even Inoue and Arisawa are reading fanfiction!" she said, not believing what she was hearing. Fanfiction was super popular these days, and there were very few people who hadn't heard of it. Even mothers knew and wrote fanfics! Knowing Ichigo though, he was a bit slow and oblivious to his surroundings. She sighed, she ought to as well fill him in on it, "Well, they're stories about us! Apparently, we have a fanclub which automatically makes us prone to being written about on fanfiction. And note, faaaan-fiiiiction, it's written by fans! Everyone writes fanfics! Actually, we have about six thousand and increasing fanfics about us. There are even erotic stories too, like this really kinky one I read awhile ago. I think it had something to do about us in an eleva-"
"Okay! I think I've got the point! I don't need to know more!" exclaimed Ichigo, waving his hands in the air. In all honesty, he was starting to feel a little scared. There were people writing stories about him and Rukia? Stories about them doing things that weren't supposed to leave his bedroom, let alone his apartment? How did that not sound creepy? What if the stories revealed some of his secrets? Were there cameras in the bathroom? "Rukia, I don't know, and I don't think I want to know what you're reading, but whatever that website is, I don't think I want you going on it ever again. It's violating my- I mean, our personal space!"
Ichigo scowled and crossed his arms. Whoever started all of this was going to die, a slow painful death.
"It's really not that bad, Ichigo! They're harmless little stories. What can they do?" asked Rukia spinning around in Ichigo's office chair.
"Harmless? They could be sharing our personal information!"
"So? What do you mean by 'so?' You're not getting how dangerous this could be! Think about i- hey, are you even listening?"
Rukia turned her back on Ichigo and continued reading her "fanfiction." She laughed as she read, totally ignoring his presence.
Why did he even bother anymore? He really didn't know.
"Ichi, if it really bothers you, these people don't stalk us. And your little secret is safe. Plus, it's not like anyone can install cameras in the bathroom without us knowing anyways. Sheesh, stop worrying about it… oh! And from your question before, yes, we did have a son. He's the most adorable little thing, too bad he doesn't exist… yet," said Rukia, she mumbled the last part so only she could hear and chuckled to herself silently.
Ichigo grumbled, "Yeah, whatever…," he started to walk out of his room until he remembered, "and don't forget to get groceries! 'Kay? Well, I'm gonna leave for class now."
Rukia nodded and continued to stare at the LED screen.
The next day…
Rukia finally ended up getting those groceries, but there was a tiny problem.
She had bought way too many packs of spicy ramen than needed, four boxes of Chappy grahams, two boxes of cheddar bunnies, a case of instant coffee [which he hated], a bag of rice and finally… a cucumber.
Why? Why him of all people? Why not Renji or Byakuya? Why was his life filled with misfortune?
"Rukia, what do you expect us to do with a bunch of cheddar bunnies and Chappy grahams?"
The said girl shrugged and continued staring at the laptop screen. She was lying on the couch with her head up on the arm rest and her knees up with the laptop nestled on her thighs. "I dunno, maybe we could eat it like the other normal people?" she said sarcastically, shrugging.
Ichigo slapped his forehead, "What are we supposed to eat for dinner, and breakfast then?"
"I planned everything out, you don't even eat breakfast half the time, so I got you coffee that's easy to make in the morning. Then for lunch, we can eat ramen. For dinner, we could also eat ramen again, or we could make rice balls and eat it with cucumbers," Rukia glanced at him and went back to her reading.
Who was this idiot he was living with? Ichigo sighed and collapsed on the other side of the couch, "So this is my life… some orange-haired half-human half-shinigami med student living with a weird shinigami who has a fetish with rabbits who has no life other than reading perverted shit online," said Ichigo laying his head on Rukia's knees.
"I do not read perverted shit all the time! Only sometimes! And just so you know, right now, I'm not reading something perverted. I'm reading a story about how you were being an ass and wanted to divorce me for some bimbo! You stupid asshole!" Rukia might have gotten too caught in the moment, because she abruptly and unintentionally kicked Ichigo in the shoulder. Hard.
"Ah! F*ck! That hurt! What the hell was that for?" Ichigo stood up and grabbed his shoulder tightly.
Rukia opened her mouth, but then closed it and started laughing behind her hand.
Ichigo glared at her, "It's not funny!" he yelled. Really, it was like this whole fanfiction shit was taking control of everyone! Today, Inoue accidentally smacked her head into his chin because she was reading a fanfic on her netbook about her and "Ulqui-kun!" while walking, and she was already clumsy to begin with! Then Tatsuki smacked him in the arm without knowing when she was at an "infuriating" part of her story.
"Okay! This is the last straw! I'm sick of getting smacked, head-butted, and kicked! No more fanfiction for you!" Ichigo grabbed his laptop out of Rukia's possession and closed the lid, lifting it out of her reach.
"Hey! I was at the good part!" Rukia attempted to reach for the laptop, but she was two feet too short. "Come on! I was at the part where you realized you still loved me and not the bimbo," she said, crossing her arms and glaring at Ichigo.
"Rukia, it's just a story, whether it's about us or not. It's not real," Ichigo said, lifting it higher out of her reach.
Rukia pouted, and slipped her bottom lip out. If he wasn't going to let her read her story, she would have to move to drastic measures.
"Pwease, Ichi?" she feigned tears and batted her eyelashes at him.
She was acting, and it was working… no! He couldn't and wouldn't fall for it, never!
"No, R-Rukia, I'm not fallin-" he stopped when Rukia wrapped her arms around his waist and look up at him with puppy dog eyes.
"Pretty please?" she started nuzzling her cheek into his chest.
He was speechless, when did she learn to do this? And for some reason, he had a feeling his dad had something to do with this.
He opened his mouth to say something, but was stopped when she pressed her lips against his, lightly brushing at his lips. As if automatically, his lips moved like a magnet and he pressed his lips fully against hers, slowly closing his eyes and deepening the kiss.
Now he knew what he missed, he missed Rukia and her sweet kisses. She hadn't kissed him in awhile –let alone let him touch her. He missed the softness of her lips, and her sweet vanilla taste and her lavender aroma.
She kissed him back and he lowered his arms and wrapped an arm around her waist.
As he was about to stick his tongue into her mouth, he noticed that his lips weren't on hers anymore. And that she had grabbed his laptop and run away into the bathroom laughing evilly.
"Haha! Silly Strawberry! Don't worry, I'll make it up to ya' later in the shower! See ya' at dinner!" she said before she slammed the bathroom door closed. She even locked the door.
Ichigo just stared, mouth a gap, "Bitch!" He should have known! Random hints of affection from Rukia only signalized trouble and this certainly wasn't the first time she had done this.
He sighed. At least he would get to pay back at her in the shower later. And then, he felt an evil grin spread across his face.
He knew exactly what to do.
AGAIN, THE SEQUEL IS UP! Titled, "Ichigo Still Does Not Approve?"
Please review, and check out my other stories!
Criticism is excepted, not flames.