Come on, grab your friends!
We'll go to very…distant lands!
Cake the Cat
And Fionna the Human
The fun will never end!
It's Adventure Time!
Fionna and Cake trudged up the dark path to the back entry way of their Tree Fort. Fionna yawned and let her adventure pack slide off of her arms while Cake walked over to the small cooler and got banana. "Ugh, why am I so sleepy?" Fionna asked. She could barely keep her eyes open.
Cake squeezed the banana and it bell into a small bowl. "Girl, we've been up for like, seven days." "For realizes?" Fionna groaned, falling onto the couch. "Yeah for realizes!" Cake exclaimed before viciously attacking her banana with her mouth. "Remember?
"First, we saved Slime Prince from the Ghost Vortex," Cake started
Fionna gripped tightly onto the ghost ship. Cake was hanging onto her shoulder with one super-stretched hand, and carrying Slime Prince in her other as they glided through the Ghost Vortex.
"Then we slayed that Fire Dragon- and that took a couple of days," she ticked off on her fingers
A large Fire Dragon loomed over a small man and his daughter. The cowered in fear, realizing they had nowhere else to run, as they were at the edge of a cliff. They closed their eyes, expecting the worst.
But just in time like the heroine she is, Fionna jumped on the creature and stabbed her sword into the back of its head, killing it. Cake stretched up on her legs in time to see her sister slay the dragon and save the day.
"Oh," Fionna remembered something. "We went to LSP's Quincenero."
"Oh no way!" LSP said excitedly as he saw his two friends dancing at his Quincenero."You gals made it!"
"Helped Peppermint Maid with 'er 'Goblin problem'…" Cake continued.
Peppermint Maid led Fionna and Cake up to a small, broken down house on the outskirts of the Candy Kingdom. "I swear I found him like this," she swore, "I don't know what happened." Fionna studied the dead Goblin lying on the lawn. "Hm," Cake hummed. Fionna smiled at Peppermint Maid. "We'll take care of it for you Peppermint Maid."
"We rescued Wildberry Prince from Ice Queen," Fionna supplied.
Fionna peered over the snow covered hill at Ice Queen who was having a picnic with a very uncomfortable-looking Wildberry Prince. She nodded at Cake, who smiled before growing into an enormous size. The cat used her enlarged fist to knock the Ice Queen over, sending her tiara flying away.
"I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY!" the Queen cried as Fionna picked up WP and quickly ran off with him, Cake following closely behind.
"Then we captured that bandito,"
Fionna stomped her foot onto the back of the bandito. He grunted in response. "Filthy, stupid, robber…" Fionna mumbled as she tied his arms together behind his back.
"Thanks you guys," a cowboy said, shaking Cake's hand.
"Saved that house,"
Fionna watched as a huge Cake lifted a boulder onto an active volcano that was seconds from erupting. She smiled and turned to the little purple lady in a parka.
"Thanks, you guys," she said, glad that her house was safe."And fed that duck."
Fionna threw a piece of bread to a hungry duck that took it and ate it. "QUAWK!"
"We've had a busy week!" Cake concluded as Fionna was tying up the last string on her red footie-pajamas. "I'm exhausted," she sighed. "But happy," she added as Cake blew out the small candle, plunging them into darkness. "Haha, goodnight, honey," Cake called, climbing into her drawer. "Goodnight," Fionna answered.
The girl smiled as she pulled her sleeping bag up around her face. "That's right Fionna," she said to herself. "Adventure 'till you drop." She laid her head and let her eyes close.
Despite being so tired, sleep seemed impossible. Fionna tossed and turned, convinced that she could sleep if she found a more comfortable position. She finally gave up and sat up to see her sister.
"Cake?" she asked softly.
"Yeah?" Cake sat up.
"Can you sleep?" she asked desperately.
"No," Cake frowned.
"I can't sleep either," Fionna whined, sitting on the edge of her bed, still bundled in her sleeping bag. "Yeah, what's up with that?" Cake questioned, going to sit beside Fionna on her bed. "I dunno," Fionna said, looking around. "But I have the strangest feeling…that we're being…" she turned to the window, "watched."
Outside of the window, a strange fat horse with big, unblinking eyes sat. Fionna shrugged the sleeping bag off of her head and shoulders. She and Cake walked slowly over to the window. They stared at the odd horse. It stared back creepily.
"Why is that horse staring at us?" Fionna asked, creeped out. The horse seemed to, if possible, get even creepier when she asked the question, its eyes growing larger, its tongue protruding farther. Fionna's eyes widened as they continued to stare at it.
She and Cake ducked out of the window. "That's super creepy," she commented, pulling her knees to her chest. "Fi, I just wanna go to sleep," Cake complained. "Mmm, maybe she's gone," Fionna said hopefully, peeking out the window. The horse was still there, but its head was turned away from the Fort, much to Fionna's relief.
Almost as if it could feel her eyes, the horse turned and stared directly at Fionna. She let out a small yelp before ducking back below the window. "I'm not gonna be able to sleep with that horse watching me!" Cake exclaimed. "Let's just close the shade," Fionna suggested. Cake reached up and pulled the shade over the window, blocking the horse from view. "Haha, outta sight outta mind," she laughed triumphantly.
"Haha, good work Cake," Fionna complemented, sliding off of the bench she had been sitting on. "Seeya in the mornin' pal!" Cake said, much happier now that she could finally sleep. Fionna pulled her sleeping bag back on. She took one more glance at the window to ensure she couldn't see the horse and it couldn't see her. She laughed and laid her head down on the pillow. Her eyes closed and she fell asleep almost instantly.
Outside, the full moon rose into the sky, casting light and shadows on everything below: including the horse.
She wasn't sure what, but something woke her up. Maybe it was a slight change in the air, but Fionna knew something was wrong. She opened her eyes in time to see a large shadow of the Horse projected on her wall, its eyes glowing. Fionna screamed and jumped out of bed. She ran over to the window and quickly pulled on the string, sending the blinds flying back up. She stared out at the horse, whose creepy gaze she still held.
"Why won't it stop?" Fionna exclaimed, beating on the glass. "Alright, Fi," Cake yawned sleepily, "Let's go…push it off that hill, or something." Fionna looked appalled at the thought of hurting an innocent animal-even if it was creepy. "Wait, dude. Maybe we can just politely ask it to leave?" she suggested. "Sure, man," Cake agreed, patting Fionna's leg. She knew it was against Fionna's alignment to hurt anything that hasn't done anything wrong, and she knew there was no point in arguing.
Fionna and Cake slowly climbed the small hill the horse rested on. "Hey get outta here, horse!" Cake barked. "I'm tryna sleep, and you're creeping me the math out!"
The horse stared blankly at Cake. "Whoa, man. Let me try," Fionna said, "Diplomat style!"
She walked up to the horse who focused its large eyes on her. "Pardon me, horse," she started. "I beseech thou to split from my land this night." She smiled. "But I invite thee to come back for some luncheth some other day, okay?" she added. The horse's eyes grew larger and its tongue slid further down its face.
"Forget it, girl. This horse is whack. It's got poo brain," Cake explained, convinced that reasoning with it was a lost cause. Fionna groaned. "Okay, you're right," she admitted. "We can try…" she had to force herself to say the words, "pushing it now."
Fionna stood behind the horse and pushed it with all of her strength (which, if you know Fionna, is a lot) as Cake pulled on its tail. It didn't budge. "Ugh, come on horsey!" Fionna said through gritted teeth. The horse stayed in place with that stupid creepy look plastered to its face. "Come on, Cake! Are you even pulling?" she exclaimed, shoving as hard as her tired body would allow. "I'm super pulling!" Cake swore, tugging on the horse's tail as hard as she possibly could.
"This horse has some ridiculous weight!" Fionna groaned. After a few more seconds of pulling, Fionna gave up. "Math this," she panted, crossing her arms over her head in exhaustion. "What now, man?" she asked Cake. Cake frowned at the horse. "I didn't wanna have to use my powers on you, horse, 'cause I'm so sleepy," she said sleepily. "But you pushed Cake too far!" she declared. "BLAAAAAH!" she shrieked, growing large. She picked up the horse and stretched to a hill far away. "Shouldn't creep us out from way over there!" Fionna smiled, patting Cake on the back.
"Let's get back to bed, buddy," Cake yawned. "Ohh Yeah, I'm so ready for bed," Fionna agreed, putting her arm around her sister. Cake smiled sleepily. "I wanna marry my bed," she giggled. "Me too!" Fionna agreed, using some of what little energy she had left to cheer. Her smile was wiped off her face as she heard hurried footsteps behind her. "Huh?" she turned around to see the horse, back on top of the hill. She gasped.
Cake narrowed her dangerous eyes at the horse. "No more," she growled. "No more!" she yelled, running off down the hill. "Where are you going?" Fionna exclaimed. "I'll be right back! I have an idea," came Cake's response. Fionna stood silently as she watched her sister run back up the hill with a strip of cloth. Cake quickly tied it around the horse's eyes.
"I did it!" Cake exclaimed triumphantly. "He can't stare at us if he's blind!" Fionna looked, with dread, at the horse. "Look, sis," she said, thoroughly creeped now. Cake turned her eyes to the horse's face. The horse's eyes were sticking out under the flipping blindfold! "Wha? WHY! Stupid blindfold!" Cake grumbled, tearing the cloth off and tossing it somewhere. The horse's eyes turned back to their original, creepy state.
"What's your deal, Screwy?" Cake demanded. "Why are you messing with us, huh?" "Cake!" Fionna called. "That horse is whack with poo brain," she informed her sister. "Yeah, I know, Fi! I diagnosed this horse with Whacked-out poo brain like, five minutes ago!" Cake exclaimed. "Dude!" Fionna exclaimed as if Cake wasn't getting something. "Poo brain means we can lure it away from here with music! Everything brainless loves music!"
Cake gasped. "That's true! You're a genius!" she exclaimed. She stretched her arms out (making the word, "Yo" to impress Fionna) and grabbed her violin out of the window to their bedroom. "Alright, horse," Cake said determinedly. "Prepare to be lured!"
She started playing a song to try to lure the horse. She started walking, hoping the stupid horse would follow her. "Follow me, horsey!" she said in a sing-song voice when she saw it wasn't working.
She closed her eyes and concentrated on playing the right notes while walking. "Cake!" Fionna called, causing Cake to open her eyes and turn around. "It's not luring!" Fionna announced, waving her arms around.
"Hmm…" Cake narrowed her tired blue eyes. "Beet-hoven isn't luring enough for you, is it?" she asked. "Well… how 'bout some Mozz-art!"
Cake changed the song she was playing. She began to play a faster song, thinking the screwy horse might like it better.
Fionna smiled as she watched her sister play her violin. She looked at the horse, hoping it would be attracted to the music. A small hissing sound brought her attention away from the horse, and onto a small brown snake. It hissed and started slithering towards Fionna.
"Ah!" she exclaimed as more snakes started wrapping themselves around her ankles. "Stop! You're luring snakes!" Fionna screamed frantically, running over to her sister. "Stop!"
"What? Awh nuts!" Cake groaned, letting her violin and bow rest. "Lemmie try and lure a mongoose!" she exclaimed for no apparent reason, starting up another song. "Stop, dude!" Fionna exclaimed, watching the snakes slither closer to them. She took Cake's violin and bow and tossed them away, much to Cake's displeasure.
"Dude," Cake sighed, "let's kill the horse."
"What?" Fionna gasped. "I'm so tired, Fi!" Cake complained, gripping the front of Fionna's pajamas with her paws. "No, Cake, we're not killing the horse," Fionna said with authority. "Okay we won't kill the horse," Cake, too tired to argue, agreed.
"We'll dress it up like a bunny!" Cake suggested a new plan. "And get a giant hawk!" she linked her thumbs together, imitating a bird. "Caw! To kill it!" she finished. "Wha-!" Fionna exclaimed.
Cake was making weird screeching noises and motioning her hands to suggest the bird picking the horse up and dropping it somewhere. "No man! That is wrong!" Fionna scolded. "Uh…" Cake turned around in a circle. "Did I say that the hawk would kill it? I meant that the hawk would swoop down gently and take it to a land of sunshine and love stuff and…take care of it!" she lied, wrapping her arms around herself to imitate a hug.
"Oh," gullible Fionna believed her sister. "That sounds awesome."
"Do you know how weird this is for me?" Fionna asked, using her arms to flatten the bunny ears on her hat as she watched Cake slide a headband with the same white bunny ears on the horse. Cake ignored Fionna's question as she gathered the horse's tail hair and stuffed it into a white cotton ball.
"What do you think?" Cake asked, stepping back to admire her work. "It…looks like a bunny…" Fionna offered, her arms still wrapped securely around her head. Cake smiled and blew on her fingers, making a whistling noise.
Fionna started waving her arms around and screaming about the stupid, easy to catch "bunny", making a lot of noise. Cake joined in, their combined noise loud enough to catch anything in a five-mile radius's attention.
"Cake!" Fionna panted, "I think I see a hawk or two!"
Sure enough, high above their heads, two dark brown owls circled, cawing menacingly. "Cause more commotion to help the hawks!" Fionna instructed, starting to run around again. "There they are! They see our commotions!" Fionna cheered as the hawks descended lower.
The two large hawks landed gracefully on the "bunny". "Yeah, get a good hold and fly away!" Cake urged them. The hawks looked at her and Fionna with big black eyes, before commencing to peck their heads and faces.
Cake screamed as she slapped the birds away. "The bunny, the bunny!" she exclaimed. "The other bunny!" Fionna shrieked as the bird nipped the ears on her hat. The large birds finally focused their attention on the horse. They looked at each other for a minute before squawking and lifting the horse off the ground. They caw'd happily, flying away with the large "bunny" in their grasp.
"What a beautiful sight," Fionna sighed, straitening her hat. "We did it!" she added, slapping Cake a high-five. "Now, back to sleep!" the girls called in-synch.
The girls raced up to their bedroom, eager to finally get some sleep. Fionna yelled triumphantly before doing a back handspring into her bed. Cake jumped in her bed and smiled to herself. "Goodnight homie," Fionna sighed. "Good night hon," Cake answered.
No sooner had they closed their eyes when a giant crashing sound caused them to both jump. The horse fell through the roof, right into their bedroom!
Fionna shrieked and threw her hands up. "It's in our house now!" she exclaimed. "That's obvious Fionna; you don't have to say that out loud!" Cake yelled, so annoyed she used Fionna's full name.
"Hey, this is your fault, Cake!" Fionna accused. "If you weren't so darn cute, animals wouldn't always be staring at you!" she exclaimed, pointing a finger at Cake. Cake jumped out of her drawer and pointed her finger angrily at Fionna "You're just mad at me for being- cute?" Cake asked, caught off guard. "Well, you're the one who told me to lure snakes!" she accused. "Grah!"
Fionna glared at her. "I told you to lure the horse. You lured the snakes!" she argued. She bent over and picked something off the ground. "There's even one in my underpants!" Fionna exclaimed, holding them up.
Then, she sighed. "Wait a minute, dude. Don't you see what this horse is doing to us?" she asked, hopping to sit on the foot of her bed. "It's tearing us apart."
"Awh man, you're right!" Cake exclaimed, running over and wrapping Fionna in a hug. "We have to get rid of this horse- for us!" she declared. "I know, sis, I know," Fionna said, hugging Cake tighter.
"Oh, Fi. This horse is bringing us together now!" Cake said, tears springing to her eyes. "This horse is a blessing," she whispered.
"What?" Fionna shrieked for the second time that night. "Dude, you've lost it!" she pushed Cake away. Cake looked angrily at her. "You…" she said, mad. "Wait!" she said, drawing back. "The horse is tearing us apart again!" she cried, launching herself into Fionna's arms.
"Your right," Fionna said, staring ahead determinedly. "It's time to show that horse-" she pushed Cake off, "who's the woman." Cake sniffed and wiped her eyes. "What are you going to do?" she sobbed. "Say that to me again," Fionna demanded lightly. "What are you going to do?" Cake repeated hysterically.
"Do…" Fionna echoed. "Doo-doo. She looked at the horse with narrowed eyes. "I'm gonna kick that horse in the bottom!" she exclaimed, walking over to it.
"Oh my Grod," Cake exclaimed as Fionna pulled her leg back. She kicked it forward, her foot making contact with the horse's bottom. A series of ripples started from where her foot touched the horse and moved towards its front. Its mouth opened as the ripples reached it and out came… the Ice Queen?
"The Ice Queen?" Fionna and Cake exclaimed at the same time.
"I should go," the Queen said awkwardly. "You were spying on us?" Fionna demanded. "That's none of your business," Ice Queen snapped, standing up and dusting her large blue gown off. "She was tryna learn our bed time secrets!" Cake accused. Fionna gasped. "Where you?" she demanded.
Ice Queen didn't answer, just stared at them while she pulled a cork from the horse's ear. It started deflating like a big rubber horse balloon. "You were!" Cake gasped. "Did you find out that I sleep 'in the nude'?" Cake demanded.
Ice Queen hummed to herself as she folded up the deflated horse. "It's none of your business how nude I sleep, Ice Queen!" Cake exclaimed. "None of your business!"
"Ladies," Ice Queen nodded goodbye, slinging the folded up horse over her shoulder and descending down the ladder. Fionna narrowed her eyes at the retreating Queen.
Ice Queen opened the back door the Tree Fort, only to be roughly kicked out of it by Fionna. Ice Queen landed in a heap on the ground, hissing wildly. "Here's your sword, Fi," Cake said, carrying Fionna's weapon of choice- a dinged up steel gold-painted sword. "Thanks," Fionna threw over her shoulder at Cake as she got into a fighting stance.
Ice Queen through shot after shot of frozen lightning, which Fionna easily deflected using her sword. Ice Queen lifted up the bottom of her dress and kicked Fionna's sword away. "Kick!"
"Cake, watch out!" Fionna screamed at Cake, who was sleeping against the house. The sword was heading right towards her! Cake's eyes snapped open and she jumped just in time. She flew high up and locked her knees against her body in a cannonball stance as the sword lodged itself into the wood where her head was.
She plummeted back down, landed on the hilt of the sword and ricocheted off. "Why were you spying on us?" she demanded, throwing her arm out to punch Ice Queen, who was wrestling with Fionna.
"No!" Ice Queen refused, picking Fionna up by the hands and throwing her into Cake. The two girls collided together with an 'oof' and landed right in a pile of snakes.
"Snakes!" Fionna exclaimed. "Quick, chuck them at the Ice Queen!" Cake instructed. Fionna complied and the two girls started pelting the old woman with snakes.
Ice Queen glared at the girls before wiggling her fingers and rising in the air, a strange blue aura surrounding her. "What's she doing?" Fionna asked as snakes and twigs and anything else that wasn't anchored down was sucked into the strange blue light. "She's using her ice powers!" Cake yelled back.
Inside their house, their cooler started rattling. The lid flew open and the few small chunks of ice that they kept in it flew out. They flew directly at Fionna and Cake, who complained at the sharp stabs the ice brought.
The two girls turned to glare at Ice Queen. "Is that all the ice you have?" she asked, confused. "Ah, YES!" Fionna cried, jumping at the Queen and knocking her tiara off.