Well hello! This is the start of what I hope to be a 5 or 7 shot, each one dealing with Sebbie's girlfriends and the escalating antics of his boss. I've been thinking about this one for a while … really just finally came up with some good ideas. Anywho, leave a review if you liked it or if you didn't. If it made you laugh or wince in literary pain. I may take requests / outside ideas later on :)

Moran's Girls

1 – Poor Emily

"Well fuck. I knew there had to be something wrong." Emily Mason, girlfriend to the second most dangerous man in Briton, laughed humourlessly. On the living room floor of the rather expensive flat lay Sebastian Moran and 'Jim'. The latter, currently pinned under the muscled form of Sebastian, glanced away in what seemed to be embarrassment at being caught in the act. Sebastian looked like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing comically.

"Wait! Emily! It's not … It's … Christ, Jim! Fucking stop!" He scrambled to his feet in a feeble attempt to avoid the small hip movements beneath him. The small table near the end of the couch shook when his body connected with it, nearly sending the antique lamp to the floor. Emily's eyes darted down his person, widened, then narrowed to such an absurd degree she may as well as closed her eyes.

"It's not what, 'Bastian? It's not what it looks like? Because you seem pretty damn happy about whatever this is!" She gestured to the general area of his more erect parts.

"What? No! Fuck … no! I'm not … this isn't … Emily!" he spluttered. Emily stormed around the flat gathering what few possessions she had started to leave after four months of dating him. Jim was standing by now, trying to grab Sebastian's arm as he trailed after her.

"Sebbie," She scoffed at that; he never let anyone call him Sebbie. "Sebbie calm down! She was going to find out soon anyway!" He shrugged the smaller man off. Strong, calloused hands gently grabbed her shoulders, slowly rubbing them.

"Emily, please, let me explain. He tried to wake me up and I was startled. We fell, baby." Another scoff, "I'm not gay. Common, please, stay. He's leaving now." He gave Jim a pointed look. Emily's shoulders slowly relaxed and she took a deep, calming breath. He smiled at her and was about to lean in for a kiss when Jim whispered into his ear.

"Remove your hands, Sebbie darling." He did so without hesitation, the instantaneous compliance to Jim's commands driven too far into his subconscious to ignore. The Irishman's tone had turned just dark enough to make the point; stop playing games and do as I say. Said man grinned at the quick action, eyes flashing with glee. Emily, of course, paid no mind to the tone of the command and only noticed Sebastian's frighteningly fast response. Shoulders tensing again, she stepped out of Sebastian's embrace.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." A painting fell from the wall as the door slammed behind her. Sebastian stared at the door with a dumb look on his face.

"Well, that was certainly interesting. I'm sorry Seb."

"No you're not."

"You're right! I'm not. Make me tea." Jim flounced over to the couch and watched as his choice sniper muttered under his breath and shuffled to the kitchen. He caught the low voice mumble about 'fucking games' and 'fucking psychopaths' and, his favourite so far, 'fucking Moriarty.'

"Temper, temper!" he sing-songed. A warm orange-red light streamed into the flat through the wall-to-wall windows opposite the door. Jim closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth of it as he considered his next words, quickly determining which phrases would bother Sebastian the most. "Girls don't like dirty mouths, Seb. You'll never find someone if you keep that nasty habit up."

The tea cup barely missed Jim's head, smashing into the lamp beside him.