I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.
The first time she calls out your name in the heat of passion is the last time you care about anything else. Your existence revolves around hers, your own needs and desires willingly pushed aside. Those blue eyes that enchanted you the first moment you saw them are now what calms you, centres you and reigns you in whenever the darkness threatens to take hold. Loving her is all you want, the love being returned is all you need. Your heart beats with hers, your chest rising and falling with hers as you recover from making love. With her it's the best you've had, with her it's right. Her hand soothingly rubs circles on your toned stomach, her nails lightly scraping across the soft skin that covers hard muscles. You wonder where you would be without her, knowing it wouldn't be anyplace good. You thank her every day, your actions saying what your mouth can't. She is the reason your heart still beats, the reason you no longer spill your blood on the bathroom floor. If she knows it, she doesn't let on, overlooking your mistakes just as she always had. Silky strands of golden fair tickle your face as she moves to straddle your waist. Her clear blue eyes study you, boring deep into your soul, goosebumps popping up all over your body at the intensity of the moment.
"I wish this was real" Her voice is hoarse from the screaming you caused her to do. You look away, feeling unworthy under her gaze, just like you always did.
"It can be" you whisper back, your eyes trained on the wall and you can almost feel the disappointment rolling off of her.
"You promised" you hear her reply, her voice thick with emotion while your eyes remain dry. You had already cried too much. The dream goes the same way it does every night, you no longer fall for the trap that it's real. One day, it can be. One day you will be with her every day. "One more day" she whispers to you, just like she did every night and like every night, you promise her to try for one more day. You will keep promising her, until the day comes when she doesn't ask. That day, you will join her.
"One more day" you confirm, looking back at her smiling face. The face, so perfect it hurts you, the innocence in those eyes and brightness of that smile. The face that you will still listen to, even now. She grasps your arm and you shudder at how cold her skin is. Turning back to her, the face you fell in love with is gone. Eyes no longer sparkle but are dull and lifeless. Her lips no longer smile. She looks like she did in the end and you know it's time to wake up.
You wake up calling her name, the same as every other night and the empty side of the bed freezes your soul. Waking up is the hardest part, waking up without her there. The box of pills sitting on the bedside table remain unopened. They will stay that way until she stops asking you to try. That will be the day you end it. It's been one year since the dreams started. One year of promises.
One year since Brittany died.
Let me know what you think. Thank you for reading :)