Fearing What We're Fighting For


"I'm doing the best I can!" Eden yelled back at Crowley. Another month and a half had passed and they were no closer to finding answers on Purgatory.

"Maybe I made a mistake in keeping you around." He snapped.

Her brows furrowed as she was surprised how much his statement stung her, he used to say similar things in the first couple weeks of keeping her. But he hadn't spoke to her like that in months.

"You really think that?" She asked, hoping her voice didn't show a hint of the sadness she now felt.

Holding his hand out he said, "Go ahead, creep your way back into my head. But you might not like what you find."

Knowing he had made the gesture, thinking she'd back off and wouldn't really test it. She immediately grabbed his hand.

It was only seconds later that he jerked away from her.

But seconds was all she needed to see that he wasn't really angry with her, he was frustrated at their lack of progress. Scared they wouldn't make their deadline, and everything would be lost.

What surprised her the most was that he felt genuine regret for talking to her that way, he had really grown quite fond of her.

~{A Few Weeks Later}~

Eden stood outside of one of the interrogation room Crowley used to torture the monsters, he already had one tied up and he was supposed to be back any minute.

She wanted to help Crowley save the world and she also wanted to make him happy. He had been so upset and quiet the past few weeks, his anger and frustrations were at an all time high.

Reaching out her hand, Eden slowly gripped the door handle and pulled it open. She stared at the creature bound to the chair thinking for a moment how so many monsters took the form of humans most could walk right beside them and not set off any alarms.

Crowley had warned her to not go into any rooms with monsters without him, just incase they had broken free of their restraints. He'd told her she was no use to him dead, but Eden knew it had grown to more than that.

He didn't want to see her killed, she had even managed to listen to him a few times and he also often wondered how quickly she'd run away from him after they opened Purgatory.

She had only intended to try and listen to the monsters thoughts, maybe be able to give Crowley a few tips when he got there.

But there was just something about the way the metal knives on the cart of torture tools kept gleaming in the light.

Her stomach turned and she was revolted by the thoughts of torture, it was something she could never bring herself to do. She was a better person than that.

Or at least, that's what she told herself as she walked up to the table and surveyed the collection of tools.

Before she was even sure what was happening she had one hand on the monster's shoulder, and the other was holding the handle of a knife plunged into it's stomach.

The creature screamed out in agony, and it's skin burned and smoked from the reaction with the metal.

Her breathing hastened at the thoughts of what she had just done, deep down she was almost getting a high from causing pain.

Her whole life, everyone who knew her thought she was a freak because she always seemed to know something she shouldn't, people suspected she could read minds but it all seemed too crazy for them.

So they ostracized her, called her a freak and from brushing against classmates in the crowded hallways of her school, she knew they believed it. There were many nights growing up, that she had cried herself to sleep. She never had any friends to talk to, never got invited to any parties. No boy ever even asked her to her senior prom.

But now, as she continued to cause excruciating pain to the being tied to a chair in front of her, all that rage and hate seemed to disappear. Now she was in control and was no longer the one in pain, she was the source of the pain.

It felt good to have that power over something else.

"How do we break into Purgatory?" She asked, her teeth gritted as she cut off three of it's fingers.

The monster cried out and told her it didn't know anything, but she wasn't listening to it's words, she was more concerned with what it was thinking. She wasn't entirely sure how long it had been since she first came into the room, but now they were one Alpha down and one step closer to finding a way inside Purgatory.

Dropping the knife to the floor, she took a few staggering steps backwards and surveyed the damage caused by her own hands. The dead monster was a bloody mess, extremities missing and it's intestines spilled onto the floor beneath the chair.

Shocked at what she had done, she started to raise her hands to cover her mouth, but stopped when she saw she was covered up to her elbows in blood. Her clothes also were soaked and stained red.

"Well?" Crowley questioned as he finally spoke making his presence known.

"Crowley!" Eden exclaimed as she whirled around and faced him, her blue eyes wide as she looked at him. She had some blood smeared on her face and the tips of her straight dark blonde hair were stuck together from blood also.

Now that he could get a closer look at the dead being, he couldn't help but be impressed at it. He thought to himself how it looked like something he might have done.

He got back just in time to see her entering the room, his first thought was to scream and yell at her. He had warned her numerous times of the dangers of going in there by herself.

But once he saw her pick a knife up, he was very intrigued to say the least. Curiosity got the best of him and he watched as she cut and hacked away at the monster, feeding off it's pained cries as she made each act more painful than the last.

He hadn't thought she had it in her to torture, but yet again she had surprised him.

"I… I'm sorry. I know I'm not supposed to come here by myself." She said, her blue eyes still wide as she stared at him.

His eyes searched her bloody face and clothes, after watching her torment and torture. He could feel the power she felt radiate off of her as she faced him, her breathing still hastened.

He couldn't control his eyes as they glanced at her lips, and then back to her blue eyes. The feeling was undeniable, even though he couldn't read her mind he knew part of the reason she had tortured the monster was to get information for him because she wanted to make him happy.

Pulling his eyes from her lips and looking at the destroyed body, he tried to focus as he spoke. "Did you get anything from him?"

"You're not mad at me?" She asked, relief showing on her face.

"I warned you not to go into the room by yourself." He stated flatly.

"I know… I was just going to get some information to help you." She told him honestly.

"Looks like you did a little more than that, Eden." He pointed out, nodding towards the bloody mess behind her.

"I don't know what happened…I didn't mean to do… I just…" Her voice trailed off as she bit her lower lip trying to think of a way to word what happened.

"Lost control?" Crowley asked.

"No. That's the weird thing… I knew what I was doing. For the first time I was in control of how someone else felt. It wasn't me that was getting hurt, I was causing the pain…" She admitted, shaking her head in disbelief at herself.

Cocking his head to the side he looked at her, a smirk toying at the corner of his lips. This was a side of Eden he hadn't even known existed, let alone that he would ever witness her breaking her shell.


A/N - Thanks for reading! I hope you all liked the chapter.

I just started a new M rated Crowley/OC fanfic titled 'Hard to Live in the City.' I'd love it if you'd take the time to check it out and let me know what you think. ^_^

I'd really love it if all of you would take a few seconds to leave a couple lines and let me know you are still reading this story. ^_^ I appreciate all of your kinds words, and reviews so much. Thanks again.