OMG she's still alive! Yeah, I am sorry for the super long wait, but I finally finished the next chapter! And I want to thank everyone who reviews, favorites and follows this story, you have no idea how much it means to me and again, apologies for my lateness. So please don't kill me for making you wait super long. *Hides behind Yuji*
Yuji: Why is it always me?
Me: Because I love making fun of you.
Yuji: Can't you get someone else?
Me: Alastor is a pendant; Hecate and Shana are like cute dolls… Bel Peol is a girl, Sydonay is old… so no.
Sydonay: … Thanks.
Bel Peol: Thank you :D.
Shana and Hecate: Dolls?
Yuji: I feel discriminated.
Me: Why? The fans won't attack you, you didn't let them wait for almost a half-year.
Yuji: and whose fault is it that there weren't updates?
Me: I have a life! And I had trouble with writing this chapter. Be happy I made time to write this, even though I'm in England at the moment and I got addicted to an MMORPG game.
Yuji: Sorry, thought I don't see why gaming would keep you away from writing.
Me: Okay, we shouldn't keep the readers waiting. I give Samuel and Centerhill the honor to do the disclaimer!
Samuel & Centerhill: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana. Sadly she does own our lives in this story.
Chapter 14: The plot is finally proceeding!
After the loss of the Flame haze everything remained very quiet, most of the Tomogara are regrouping or still looking for Flame Haze. Somewhere close to Seireiden, Bal Masqué's commander was sitting in a emo corner mumbling to himself about how useless he is. "I… couldn't even protect her… I couldn't prevent it… I couldn't do anything… I just stood there and let Shana get taken away from me… what kind of a useless husband am I? She got kidnapped and it is my fault… I couldn't save her… I'm so useless… I couldn't protect my only love…"
The Trinity stared helpless at their commander. They tried everything to cheer him up, but nothing helped. Bel Peol and Sydonay felt beaten they've run out of speeches they could give their commander, but nothing helped. Hecate on the other side was just sitting on a chair drinking a cup of coffee that she made. "This coffee is delicious; you guys should try it too. " She looked up at her exhausted comrades and at her emo commander. She frowned slightly at the remaining Trinity. "Has it finally gone through your think brains that the only way to cheer him up is by bringing the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite back? Just leave him alone, he'll come up with something sooner or later, since he's that stubborn. Let's just enjoy the silence and the short break while we still can. It's been ages since I was able to arrange my Ende collection."
Bel Peol turned her head slowly to the blue haired girl. "Hecate, you just bought those a few months ago. There's no need to arrange anything in your room, since it's as tidy as a plate after you've washed it."
Hecate ignored Bel Peol's comment and took a sip of her coffee.
"Wait, I got an idea!" Sydonay declared eagerly. "I knew my cute Itadaki no Kura Hecate would say something brilliant that can help our commander become his old proud self!"
-_- "…Can't you just get the hint? What does it take for me to make you leave me alone?"
"How about you turn him gay?" Bel Peol suggested.
Sydonay ignored them and ran out of the room, while Bel Peol and Hecate watched him curiously, only to come back seconds later with a life-sized pillow of Shana. "Here commander, we'll get the princess back! In the main time you can use this pillow as distraction."
Hecate rolled her eyes and Bel Peol tried very hard not to burst into laughter, since Sydonay's action recalled her of a humorous scene that had took place a few chapters ago.
Sydonay held the pillow in front of Yuji's face, but Yuji just glared at Sydonay. "YOU THINK I WOULD REPLACE SHANA FOR A MERE DOLL!" He grabbed the doll and threw it away.
Sydonay quickly walked back to Hecate and Bel Peol who by now where standing close to the door, in case their leader would break out in a rage. "Well, I'm out of ideas. Bel Peol, do you have any?"
Bel Peol face palmed and looked at Hecate. "And I thought the Flame Haze were the ones with the idiot."
"He got arrested by the police several times because of child abuse, what else would you expect? Just take the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite back by force, that's what we've done all the time."
"But, what if there are children involved? I don't want to hurt those cute kids!" Sydonay stammered.
Hecate and Bel Peol sighed and rolled their eyes. Both of them had the same thought in their minds; 'idiotic hentai pedo.'
While the Trinity keeps discussing what they should do. Yuji heard Hecate's suggestion, he tilted up his head. "I think the priestess is right." He slowly got up and walked up to the Trinity, though his expression still looked like a lifeless empty doll, or like someone who got his life sucked out. They could see a glint of determination in his eyes. "That fucking hag won't give up until she's completely crushed! Mentally and physically! Send all the troupes out to hunt down every Flame Haze! Don't let anyone escape until they find that bitch and Shana!"
"Understood!" The Trinity bowed and they immediately left the room.
"I, I can't stand this. No more please. *sniff*"
"Keep quiet Chiara! We can hardly move here, be happy you're able to fit in!"
"But, *sniff* I can't hold on! *sniff*"
"You have too. We know you can do it!"
"But Jack is dying and Rose will be all alone! It's too… WAAAHAAAA!"
Outreniaia tried to comfort me, but since she's a hair accessory at the moment, her only way was using words. "I-I know that it's hard. I mean, they're so good together *sniff* and *sniff* it was love at first sign…. WAAAHAAAA!"
I tried to get a tissue, but it was too cramped in Sale-san's car that I couldn't move.
"Here Kyokkō no Ite."
I took the tissue my colleague Flame Haze offered me and dried my eyes. "This is the saddest scene ever! *Sniff*"
We were all cramped in Sale-san's car, watching the Titanic movie in 3D. Just because the author saw it a few months ago, doesn't mean that we don't have the right to watch it.
"No Rose, don't give up! You promised Jack you would live!"
Sale-san groaned, he tried to take a nap for hours, but since we occupied his car and he was getting squished between the Flame Haze all he could do was watch the movie with us. "Oh come on, you guys have seen the movie a million times. You know the plot already, so stop whining and crying already! It's making me sick!"
Everyone gave Sale-san a glare. "How dare you that about the most beautiful movie ever!" I yelled. "I learned so much about this movie; it showed me that there are people who have it worse than us! We only get scolded, insulted and threatened by that old hag, who only makes out lived miserable and makes us was to kill ourselves, but Rose and Jack have to fight for their love! They only met each other for a few days before Jack dies and they weren't even allowed to be together because of their class differences! They gave each other hope! They learned from each other and that stupid captain ruined it for them!"
"But the one responsible for the crash was a crewman not the captain."
"Who cares?! When they finish building Titanic 2 I'll make sure to destroy it before it has a chance to set sail!"
Sale stared at me as if I had lost my head. "Chiara, you do know that times have changed. They won't make the same mistakes. Besides I wonder how many people would dare to ride it."
"Occult freaks, people who aren't superstitious, rich snobs who love to brag and suicidal people and the ghosts of the people who sank together with the first Titanic!" I yelled with tears in my eyes. "Now shut up and let us finish watching!
Sale sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "That people get so emotional with such a lame ass movie." He mumbled.
That does it! I jumped on Sale, not caring what would happen to everyone else who's cramped in here and gave him a hard beating. "Don't you dare to say something like that about my favorite movie, you asshole!
Outreniaia and Vetcherniaia fumed at Sale-san. "You're so heartless! No one dares to mess with the Titanic!"
"Yeah, how'd you like it, if you died after trying to save your love and people would call your experience a lame ass movie?!"
"… But the story isn't even real… geez."
"Rose… she died…"
Outreniaia, Vetcherniaia and I immediately looked back at the television screen and saw the ending scene where Rose met up with Jack again and all the other passengers of the Titanic.
"The… ending…" Vetcherniaia whimpered.
"It's so sad." Her twin added.
In a few seconds everyone minus Sale-san started to cry. "Waaahaa! It's so sweet and so heartbreaking!"
"After all those years *sniff* they finally got together again!"
"It's so rare to find such a pure love like that of Rose and Jack!"
"Only when she was able to say good-bye to the diamond and her memories she was able to move on to the afterlife!"
"~My heart will go on!~"
Sale groaned in annoyance. "God please release me from this torture." He looked at his side and noticed some unopened bottles of beer between the Flame Haze. "Sigh, I think I should drink myself full until I pass out and won't hear any of your whining."
I gave him another smack on the head. "Stop complaining and try to be more social! If you open up more you you'll find out that…" I was interrupted by the intercom that was installed inside the car.
"CHIARA! SALE! GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES TO TENDŌKYŪ THIS INSTANCE!"
We both sighed. "Geez, what does that old hag want this time?" The Aya no Genkei Gizo asked annoyed.
"We must have lost this round." Outreniaia answered.
"I guess, she sounds more irritated and angrier than usual." I mumbled.
"Okay." Sale climbed out of the car with trouble and stretched his arms. "Finally, fresh air, silence and space! Now let's get moving before she orders us to clean her bathroom and massage her sticky feet."
I climbed out of the car and we headed out way towards our doom.
So Shana and the others were locked up in a room for months, thanks to the laziness of the author. Shana was killing her time with some video games that she smuggled with her, Khamsin was just acting like always' looking at the roof as if it was decorated with colors and asking Behemoth stupid questions, Wilhelmina was looking for a way to escape and Rebecca was cursing like mad.
"THAT FUCKING BITCH OF AN AUTHOR DITCHED US FOR MONTHS! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE'S TOO LAZY TO WRITE ONE FUCKING CHAPTER! HAVE YOU GOT ANY IDEA HOW BORED I WAS IN THIS SHIT HOLE AND SHE THINKS THAT WRITING SOME SPECIAL CHAPTERS WOULD MAKE UP FOR HER FUCKING WRITERS BLOCK!? THE STUPID BRAT IS DRIVING ME MAD WITH HIS STUPID MY LITTLE PONY THEME SONG!
"~My little pony, My little pony
Ah Ah Ah Ah... My Little Pony
I used to wonder what friendship could be
My Little Pony
Until you all shared its magic with me
Shana looked up from her 3DS. "What are you talking about? It's not that bad. At least I was able to play Kingdom Hearts 3D and Dead or Alive Dimensions. Well Alpha is quite creepy and Kazumi A is like a twisted child, but the game is great. Also I love it that I can play as Riku and Sora in 3D. I am so happy to see Lea again. Even though Axel died in Kingdom Hearts 2, he's still alive inside Lea. Also I didn't hear Khamsin singing."
"That's because you're addicted to your games. Every time you get to play a new game you shut yourself from the outside world and your brain won't register anything else, except for the game." Alastor explained. "It happens to me all the time."
"You're a fucking pendant! What else can you do except for listening and talking!?" Rebecca complained. "All this time you've been of no use, except for the excuse of being a comical relief!"
"That's not true! I encourage Shana in her decisions!"
Wilhelmina gave Alastor a dead glare. "Like what, agreeing to get bribed?! –De arimasu! Letting herself get stuck with a horny, selfish, obnoxious, full pride and hateful Mystes for eternity?! –De arimashou!"
"Don't say it like that. Sakai Yuji is now more of a Tomogara than a Mystes. He's on pair with me now and you shouldn't insult any god, especially if they give you games to play."
"I don't fucking care! –De arimasu! … he… he took her innocence! He dirtied her! He destroyed her innocent soul! –De arimasuka!"
Rebecca glanced at Shana, who was still busy playing with her Nintendo 3DS. "STUPID XEHANORT! DIE FOR ONCE!"
"Hmm, she looks quite fine to me."
"~It's an easy fee!
And magic makes it all complete
Oh, My Little Pony
Do you know you're all my very best friends?~"
Rebecca's vein popped and she threw a wooden chair toward Khamsin. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE KNOW IT ALREADY! YOU'VE BEEN SINGING THAT SHITTY SONG SINCE WE GOT HERE! I CAN'T EVEN GET PROPER REST WITHOUT SEEING SOME PUSSY PONIES SINGING IN MY NIGHTMARES!"
"BE QUIET YOU BUNCH OF SHITHOLES!" Everyone turned frighten to the door and noticed Sophie kicking the door open and looking furious at the group. "HOW CAN I COME UP WITH AN ESCAPE PLAN IF YOU BUNCH OF WHINIES CAN'T EVEN KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS SHUT?! ESPECIALLY THAT GODDAMNED THING! IF I HEAR ONE MORE FUCKING PONY SONG, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL GET TO HEAR THEM ALL DAY LONG IN YOUR SMASHED UP SHITASS BRAINS!"
Shana and the others all cringed together in a corner shivering in fear. Wilhelmina peered over Rebecca's shoulder and she noticed all the other Flame Haze, that couldn't escape from Sophie's clutches hiding behind a rock. Even thought it was plain obvious that the rock wouldn't help much, the Flame Haze got accustomed, that they felt saver behind the rock, instead of in front of it.
Sophie turned to the rock and walked up to the scared group of Flame Haze. She reaches out to them and lungs Centerhill out of the pile and throws him against a tree. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT DID NOTHING WHEN THE WAR WAS GOING ON AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT IF YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR ASS MOVING AND DEFEND ME, YOU'LL PAY FOR IT! SO NOW YOU'LL MAKE UP FOR IT BY BECOME THE BAIT FOR THOSE BRAINLESS TOMOGARA!"
Centerhill while trembling in fear, kneeled down in front of Sophie. "But Sophie Sawallisch-sama, it's the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite they're after. They won't waste much time if you, or the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite aren't near."
Sophie sighed and closed her eyes for a few seconds in order to think. She opened them not much later showing an evil smirk on her face. She grabbed Centerhill by the collar and pulled him closer to her. "Then how about we'll get a pillow of that useless petanko from EBay and you'll fly around with it? That will attract enough attention that that idiotic god will show up himself."
"Uh, Sophie Sawallisch-sama." Samuel's head popped out from behind the rock. Still too scared too completely show himself in front of the old Flame Haze, he held his hands against the rock in case he had to make a run for it. "I get the feeling that they won't fall for such an obvious trick, besides something tells me that the Sairei no Hebi will get mad if we use such a pillow as bait. Also no one is stupid enough to believe in that."
"Actually, Bal Masqué has some idiots who'll fall for such stupid traps for sure." Zirnitra reminded him.
Sophie's eyes started to twitch in an unhealthy way. She grabbed Samuel by his collar and dragged him and Centerhill to the nearest tree, where she hung them on a branch. "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME! I'LL EXPLAIN THIS PLAN ONLY ONE TIME AND OF ONE OF YOU FUCKERS DIDN'T GET IT AT ALL THEN IT'S YOUR FUCKING LOSS!"
Uh, is the plot proceeding? FINALLY! I was freezing out here and we ran out of hot chocolate a few months ago. The author was able to celebrate summer vacation, while we had to be stuck on this cold mountain! Damn, my feet and hands are ice-cold, life is so unfair.
A: That's your own fault for not bringing a heater with you!"
"May I remind you, that a certain someone forgot to pay the electricity bills last period and that certain someone is hospitalized at the moment, thanks to an old hag and her stinking kick!"
A: Why don't you tell your pet fishy next time to be more aware of his surrounding and to ask for a restraining order against Sophie?
I decided to ignore any other comment she'd say. I mean you can never win a conversation against her. Soon one of my subordinates arrived looking very various. "Haborym-sama we found a group of Flame Haze camping south of here near the hot springs! They don't seem to be in any mood to fight, though."
"Have you spotted the princess, the Shin'i no Yuite, the Banjō no Shite, the Gisō no Karite or the Kishaku no Makite among them?"
"Sadly I haven't. I think these Flame Haze have strayed away from the main forces and decided to hide."
I sighed in disappointment. "Great, the commander won't be happy with the news."
"So, what do we do with the Flame Haze?"
"I have no idea, guessing from how the Flame Haze react, I'm sure they'd gladly sell her out to the enemy and since they've run away from her, they wouldn't know her whereabouts either, since our main priority is to retrieve the princess, I don't think we should waste our time hunting those Flame Haze."
"But didn't the commander commanded to hunt every Flame Haze?"
We both crossed our arms and tried to think for a bit, which wasn't easy thanks to the cold. Suddenly something came to mind. "Wait, what about the Tendōkyū? I'm sure they'll be using that as shelter, so if we find the Tendōkyū, we'll find the princess and the demon too. Quickly, send half of our army to look for Tendōkyū and the other half will question the camping Flame Haze at the hot spring!"
I watched him leave and faced south. "So they're at the hot springs? I always wanted to try a hot spring out… I wonder if they have warm chocolate milk."
"It's my turn now!"
"No, it's my turn!
Both Centerhill and Samuel were in a very serious conflict… they both wanted their own POV, but since the author didn't know who to choose it turned into a fight.
"You showed up many more times than I did, so it's my turn!" Centerhill yelled.
"Oh come on, I didn't have much screen time either and I never had my own POV!" Samuel countered. "I can't believe that characters like Fecor and coconut fish Decarabia already had their POV's and their roles are even smaller than ours!
A: I don't see how their roles are smaller than yours, since both of you are supposed to be whipped out sooner or later and since when did you gave the pet fish a new nickname?
"Ever since the spring games when he appeared in the coconut outfit. You know they've made a picture of that and posted it on Twitter and Facebook. It's still very popular. So can I have my POV now?"
A: You know what; I have a better way to solve it through a small competition. The rules are simple the one who wins the most rounds wins. NOW START ALREADY!
Both Centerhill and Samuel were shoved into a teacup-shaped colosseum and where given some cleaning gear.
Centerhill looked confused at the teacup-shaped colosseum. "Where did you find such an odd shaped building and since when are there colosseum in China, teacup-shaped of all the things!"
"Yeah, also what are we supposed to do with these?" Samuel asked, while holding the cleaning gear up.
A: Since now! Now go clean the whole thing! The first one who finished wins the first round and gets a lead for the next round! READY START!
Centerhill and Samuel immediately started with cleaning, but since they've never cleaned anything in their lives they sucked at it completely. They tripped a lot, dropped a bucket filled with cleansers on each other and started a watertight. In the end the result was a draw and the only thing the two Flame haze got were soaked clothes.
A: Hmm, who'd guess that you two are that pathetic? Anyway next round you're forced to watch some movies, which will become relevant for the next round. Enjoy the movie guys!
So now they were tied to chairs and forced to watch traumatizing scenes from anime or from their enemies and allies, what exactly is up to you readers to decide.
"YOU HEARTLESS BULLY!" They yelled.
After they finished watching those horrifying scene, they both walked out trembling and traumatized. Samuel just did it in his pants and Centerhill was forced to take therapy for the rest of his existence.
"So-so-scary…" Samuel stuttered.
"I don't think I can function normally after watching that… my live is ruined…" Centerhill commented.
Meanwhile the author was watching them, going to the next destination with an amused expression on her face.
A: Okay, now that you finished watching let's start the trivia! There will be three questions, the one who answers 2 or all wins! Question one: what's my favorite color?
"What?" Centerhill asked surprised. "That wasn't even in the movie!
A: Answer now!
"Red?" Samuel asked.
"Purple!" Centerhill yelled.
A: … next question… What is my favorite season?
"That has nothing to do with the horrible movie we just watched!" Samuel yelled in frustration.
A: Did I ever mention that it was related to the next round?
"But you said it was relevant!"
"And when do you come out of that stupid 4rth wall barrier?! Centerhill asked.
A: Relevant as in it will distract you from remembering those horrible scenes you saw. Anyway last question, when is Shana's birthday!
A: TIME IS UP! The results are… none of you got any points, so no one gets a POV this time!
Both Flame Haze stood astonished by the author's declaration; they had no idea what to say. "But, but…"
A: And I'm bored now, so let's skip this and go to Shana and the others. We've wasted too much time on this.
So as the two stood there in the cold mountain, they realized that all the trouble, traumatizing and humiliating experience has been for nothing and that they were just being played by the author again. So they did what every reasonable man would do… go to the emo corner.
"… What point does our character still have in this story, except for getting bossed around, tortured and being a laughingstock?" Centerhil complained, while he made circles in the snow with his finger.
"Are we that insignificant for the plot?" Samuel wondered.
A: GET YOUR ASSES IN TO YOUR SLAUGHTER FIELD THIS INSTANT!
So the author picked them up and threw them into they soon to be… doomed destiny.
So, I am still playing Kingdom Hearts 3D. Xehanort refuses to die and I feel like hacking the game now, but if I'd do that I won't be able to call myself a master of the Kingdom Heart games. Anyways we were all still locked in the small room, suddenly the Kishaku no Makite looked at the door. "Hey guys, haven't you noticed that it's freaking quiet out there? Do you think something happened?"
I held up my shoulders. "Who knows, YAY I finally beat the game and I also got the secret ending! Hooray for me!"
"It was about time." Alastor said. "I was afraid you'd never finish it and you've played it for what? Six months?"
"Two months… I was playing Death or Alive: Dimensions, Pokémon Black 2, Theatrhythm Final Fantasy and Pokémon + Nobunaga's ambition aka Pokémon Conquest."
I stared at the ceiling. Man not even seconds have passed since I finished the last game I got with me and I'm bored already. "Wilhelmina, have you found a way to escape already?"
Wilhelmina looked at me with an angered expression. "I would have, if everyone else was helping too. –De arimasu."
"Lack of assistance." The Mugen no Kantai added.
I sweat dropped and looked at Khamsin. He seemed to be out of breath from singing all those songs; at least he'll be quiet for a while."
Khamsin looked at his bracelet. "Daddy, I'm hungry and I miss my pony collection!"
"You've done nothing but singing for the past few months and only now are you saying that you're hungry?" The Fubatsu no Senrei asked.
"But I'm out of my little pony songs and my toys are at home, also I'm hungry daddy! I want food! FOOD! FOOD! And I want to watch my My little pony DVDs. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"
"Khamsin Nbh'w, shut up!"
"… Yes daddy."
Or maybe a little bit… How was he even able to come up with My little pony songs for six freaking months?
As I continued with wondering how I'd kill the rest of my time here, the door slammed open and the incarnation of all evil stepped inside. She grabbed us and dragged us outside. "GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES MOVING! WE'LL BE STARTING OUR ESCAPE PLAN SOON!"
The sunlight was blinding us, since we haven't seen it for months. I'd never imagine that I'd consider seeing the sun coming up to be so beautiful, if I ignore the fact that my eyes felt like they were on fire. Know I know how a vampire feels when they're exposed to sunlight. I felt the warms of the sun warming up my skin; it felt good. Anyway after the Shin'I no Yuite dropped us, the Hishaku no Makite started to kiss the ground. "SWEET FREEDOM, FRESH AIR, THE SUNLIGHT AND SNOW! FUCKING SNOW THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN FOR SIX FUCKING MONTHS! I CAN MOVE FREELY AGAIN! FOR FUCK'S SAKE! I AM FREE!" She started to run around in circles out of happiness while waving her arms up and down.
"I'd never have guessed that I'd be happy seeing the gloomy and terrified faces of the other Flame Haze." The Bisai no Ressei declared in delight.
Wilhelmina was also enjoying the sunlight that we hadn't seen for a long time and Khamsin… "FLYING ROCKS! A PIZZA MACHINE! MY LUNCH! A BANANA AND I WANT CANDIES! CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES!"
Uhm, never mind about him, he'll never chance,
"I wonder if I can trade him in for Navi." The Fubatsu no Senrei mumbled to no one in particular after letting a heavy sigh.
Ah, now that I notice I wonder there the Saikyō no Morite and the Gorō no Koite are? I haven't seen or heard them for a while.
"Uh, Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite?"
I looked behind me and saw one of the Flame Haze approaching me. "Is something wrong?"
"Actually, the Gorō no Koite asked me if I could give you this."
He took out a letter and handed it to me. I opened the letter and started to read it;
Dear Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite,
I'm sure than when you receive this letter I won't be present. What I needed to say was that it was an honor to have met such a brilliant Flame Haze as you and your comrades. Even thought our time was short, but I learned a lot from you and the others and I am grateful for that. I'll wish you a lot of happiness in your live and that nor that demon, nor the author will make you go through any traumatic and humiliating experience like I've gone through.
Yeah sure, as if Flower-san ever spares someone from being humiliated or getting trolled.
I just have a few requests, please make a detour to USA and visit my house. The keys and a map are inside the envelope; make sure to rearrange my sock drawers and get my will that's hidden between my boxers.
Yuck, as if I'm really going to do that. I'll ask someone else to do it in my stead.
And also; GET THOSE BASTARDS BACK FOR SENDING ME TO MY OWN GRAVE! I WON'T FORGIVE THE OTHER DAICHI NO SHISHIN FOR TRICKING ME IN GOING TO HELL IN THEIR STEAD! DO THEY THINK MY LIVE IS LESS INSIGNIFICANT THAN THEIRS! I ALSO HAVE FEELINGS! I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE BATTLEFIELD TO DIE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SHAKE! I, I DON'T WANNA FIGHT! I-I-I WANNA GO HOME! WHERE I AM SAFE FROM EVERYTHIGN ELSE! WHERE I CAN BE IN MY LITTLE SANCTUARY LIVING PEACEFULL! PLEASE ENPATSU SHAKUGAN NO UCHITE HELP! I-I DON'T WANNA DIE WAAHAAAAA! WHY ME? WHY NOT SOMEBODY ELSE! I ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THE STINKING JOBS! IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL THEY ALWAYS LET ME DO ALL THE CLEANING, I ALWAYS ARRIVED LAST AT LUNCH BREAK, SO ONLY THE DISGUSTING FOOD WAS LEFT. ON PIZZA NIGHT I ALWAYS HAD TO EAT THE LEFTOVERS, IF THERE IS SOME LEFT! EVER SINCE MY BIRTH MY LIFE HAS BEEN TERRIBLE! WHY AM I THE ONE WITH A SUCKY LIFE?!
Well the rest of the letter contained more complains and sobs of the Gorō no Koite, while he complains how much his life sucks. I decided to skip that and go to the important part of the letter.
Anyway, please ask my comrades for their. I'm sure if you tamper with their guilt or black mail them, they'll agree to help you. We always come together in a bar owned by East Edge called; My juicy melons. Again I hope you'll succeed in your ambitions and good luck.
The Gorō no Koite Centerhill and The Suchō no Tsudumi Tlaloc.
"Of all the most ridiculous letters I've read I my whole existence, this one is the most pathetic of them all." Alastor commented.
I sighed. "Yeah, I wonder how the Daichi no Shishin has survived all those years."
So I was sent to my grave… I mean the battlefield to finish my first and only mission off this story. Is my character that insignificant and I get killed when it's my début. Why is it… hey wait… The author is still giving me a POV… SHE TRAUMATIZED ME FO NOTHING!
A: That's not true! You got traumatized for the readers.
"… FUCK YOU!"
A: How immature of you. Anyway I'm off.
"Centerhill, what are we supposed to do again?" Tlaloc asked.
"Ehh, wait let me check." I took out a note from my pocket and read it out loud. "My important mission that I am not supposed to forget when I go to the battlefield; commit suicide." "…"
"Did you wrote this or was it the Shin'i no Yuite?"
"I don't know. The way it's written sounds like me, but the demon would be the type to give such a command."
"But, it's a very useless command." Tlaloc mumbled.
So we kept wondering what else should do, since the note wasn't giving us any hints or helping us progressing at al. We didn't notice another presence coming near us.
"Ehh, of all the Flame Haze they could send after us the Shin'i no Yuite decided to send the most pathetic of all, well next to that sissy one that gets raped every Friday evening and the other one that has to endure the Shin'i no Yuite's yelling and insults every day. I'd expected she'd give us more of a challenge to distract us."
I turned around and to my shock Senpen Sydonay was behind me. Of all the Tomogara I could face, why did it have to be one of the Trinity? What did he just called me one of the most pathetic Flame Haze, along with the Saikyō no Morite Samuel and the Shiei no Hajite François?! "WHO GIVES THE BIGGEST LOLICON THE RIGHT TO INSULT ME?! WHO IS THE PERVERT WHO KEEPS MOLESTING INNOCENT CHILDREN TOGETHER WITH A PEDO SINGER?! I AM NOT PATHETIC! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR FRIENDS BETRAY YOU AND TRICK YOU IN VISITING THE INCARNATION OF EVIL AND TO GET INSULTED HUMILIATED AND FORCED TO GO INTO A WAR YOU DON'T WANT TO JOIN IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"
Senpen scratched his chin. "Well, unlike you Flame haze we Tomogara help each other and we do work together, second our leader respect us and he does show concern for us, although he is a bit too proud and arrogant, but he knows what's best for us and he's able to stand against the most hated person of the whole world and finally I know how to defend myself."
"Yeah, like you did when you got arrested for molesting kids."
"THOSE SO CALLED COPS THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE! CHILDREN NEED LOVE AND ATTENTION AND I CAN GIVE THEM THAT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A CHILD WANTS AND NEED!" Senpen sighed a bit and quickly regained his composure. "Great, what am I doing? I'm supposed to finish my task, not get distracted and force my views on someone who won't listen." He took out his Shintetsu and aimed it at me. "I'm sorry, but the commander ordered to annihilate everyone who gets in the way and I can't lose any more time than I already did or the Shin'i no Yuite will escape."
I started to sweat and panicked. I don't want to be killed "No wait! Please don't kill me! I- I have friend and a family! I can't leave them alone!"
"You're a Flame Haze, you don't have family."
"THAT'S NOT TRUE! THE OTHER THREE DAICHI NO SHISHIN ARE MY FAMILY!"
"Are they as pathetic as you?"
"SHUT UP!" I felt something snapping in my brain and before I realized what I was doing I attacked Senpen blindly in rage. Even though they send me to the battlefield and allowed me to become mentally traumatized! I'm the only one who's allowed to insult those three! I attacked him with all my might, but Senpen evaded my attack easily.
We kept going like this for a few minutes until Senpen caught my arm. "We have played enough now, but don't worry I'll make sure to end it quickly. He quickly flew towards me; I braced myself, hoping that some miracle would happen and that I'll survive. Suddenly the air behind me started to glow and the Chōshi no Yomite appeared.
She quickly activated her spell and trapped Senpen Sydonay in it.
"FINALLY I AM BACK TO BUSINESS! I hope the readers didn't miss me too much! Man it feels so great to be in the plot again! I was sick a waiting all those months! I was of everyone especially the minor characters to have more screen time than me!" She cheered.
Her partner the Jūrin no Sōga Marchosias laughed. "AHAHAHAHAH! My neglected blonde Margery Daw! With all that booze that you've drunk. I think you didn't even noticed how long you're been away from the story!"
The Chōshi no Yomite glared at her partner and punched him hard.
"Shut your trap idiot! No one asked for your opinion!"
I flew up to the Chōshi no Yomite and bowed in gratitude. "Thank you very much for saving me, but why are you here? I thought you were in emo mode back in Misaki City."
"Haven't you read the plot? I've been brought back to my senses chapters ago besides, have you any idea how boring it is not to make an appearance? And since all the action is happening here I thought I'd come up here to help out a bit."
"The Shin'i no Yuite has threatened you to come, right?"
"She said she'd kill Keisaku and destroy all the alcohol bottles in the world. She'll also make sure no alcohol would be produced."
"That's not the only thing! We weren't even allowed to go on vacation!" The Jūrin no Sōga complained.
Suddenly the seal started to crack and Senpen broke out. "Heh, so you finally decided to join the part, well that's fine by me. I don't mind taking out the two of you." He taunted while making an attacking stance.
The Chōshi no Yomite looked confused. "Oi Marcho, wasn't this guy in prison?"
"HAHAHAH… Yeah I thought so too… Maybe they bailed him out. It's not like it's the first time he got arrested."
"Yeah, there was that time with the ancient war, I hear he didn't attend it because the police caught him and at the first great war he wasn't present either, because he got arrested just before he could rape a kid."
"And what about that time in America when he got that…?"
"SHUT UP! We know it already!" Senpen yelled. "Senpen Sydonay had been in prison longer than that he's outside! We've heard it many times already! Can't you drop it? And since when do you know about the ancient war?! The commander told me that you didn't even know about his existence when he picked up the princess."
"Well…" The Chōshi no Yomite scratched her head. "I heard some Flame Haze talking about an ancient war that cost the lives of many Flame Haze and increased the hatred in the world, but I didn't know what happened in that war. I thought it was just some Flame Haze getting tricked by the old hag into killing Tomogara for her so she could ruin their lives. I found out about the truth it after the Tenjō no Gōka explained it back in chapter 4."
"… Well the Shin'i no Yuite was the one pulling the strings." The Jūrin no Sōga mumbled.
"Enough of this!" Senpen yelled, he looked like he really had a rough day. Hah, I'll dare him to spend a minute with that old monster! I'm sure then he wouldn't complain about anything else in his life.
"You guys keep distracting me with your stupid talk how am I supposed to do my job?! That's it play time is over!"
The Chōshi no Yomite looked at her watch. "Eh, you're right it's kinda late. Well I gotta go guys, my cap will be arriving soon."
Senpen and I looked surprised at her. "What? What do you mean?"
Before I could do anything else a shining object came towards us at amazing speed. On top of the shining object I spotted the Kyokkō no Ite Chiara Toscana riding it together with the Kikō no Kurite Sale Habichtsburg.
"Chōshi no Yomite, take my hand!" The Kyokkō no Ite yelled and she reached out to out female colleague.
The Chōshi no Yomite grinned. "Well it was fun while it lasted, but I have other things to do. Bye bye!" She took the hand of the Kyokkō no Ito and they sped off to who knows where.
Senpen and I stood there frozen with confusion written on our faces. What was the point of her coming here if she leaves seconds after making her appearance?
Senpen sighed. "Geez, she never changes, does she? Comes and goes when she wants to, ow well." He rested his Shintetsu on his shoulder, lit up a cigarette and glanced at me. "So, will you entertain me then?"
"But, but, I'm just being send her as bait, I didn't come here on my own free will in the first place! The Shin'i no Yuite wouldn't care if I die! I-I don't wanna die! I-I wanna see places, do things! I don't want to give the Shin'i no Yuite her way!"
"I guess you have a point there…" Senpen answered. "Hmm, okay then, I'll make sure you won't end up worse than you already are. I am sure the commander wouldn't mind, since none of you are doing this because you want to."
"What do you…?"
Before I could finish my question Senpen flew towards me and sliced me in half. After that the world turned black.
A: You're okay with this Sydonay?
"Yeah, I feel sorry for him, next to the blonde sissy the Shiei no Hajite and the Saikyō no Morite, he had to suffer the most. So can you call the Tomogara hospital? I'm sure they won't mind taking Flame Haze and I have to report back to the commander.
A: Thought fetching him up will take a while and I though horny snake was still in emo mode.
Sydonay turned red from embarrassment. "Don't talk about the commander like that! Author or note, I won't allow it!"
A: Suit yourself. I've done it since the beginning of the story and I will continue to do that.
The tower… that had to serve as decoy… crumbling…
My body… in pain… and immobile
My nose… bleeding terribly…
The author… I hope something very bad happens to her… for making my last moment the most humiliating, wasteful ones… and for making fun of me…
I slowly turned my head to Zirnitry, who was standing next to me; since he's only an object at the moment… he can't do much… "Neh, Zirnitra?"
"What is it my brother?"
"If-if we're able to reincarnate… I hope we can become Gorons… so that we'll be brothers till the end…
"Me too, I treasure the days I spent with you. You taught me a lot of things and we went through so much together, but we kept strong. No matter how many times that old hag insulted us, traumatized us, humiliated us…"
"Yeah, but we still… we still… we… WHY WERE WE THE ONES WHO HAD TO SUFFER THE MOST?!"
"I DON'T KNOW?! WE DON'T DESRVE THIS, RIGHT? I MEAN, WE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG! I NEVER BULLIED ANYONE BACK IN GUZE!"
"ME TOO! I ALWAYS HELPED THE GRANNIES TO CROSS THE ROAD SAVELY! I ALWAYS HELPED PEOPLE WHO GOT LOST TO GET TO THEIR DESTINATION! I ALWAYS HELPED CHILDREN WHO WERE CRYING! WHY DO WE HAVE TO DIE MISERABLY?!"
"IF ONLY WE WOULD GET A SECOND CHANCE!"
"YEAH MY BROTHER, THEN WE COULD… VISIT PLACES WE'VE NEVER SEEN!"
"AND MEET PEOPLE WE'VE NEVER MET!"
We both started to cry. "WE DON'T WANNA DIE!" We cried in chorus.
After a few hours of crying we finally calmed down. I blew my nose and dried my tears, after that I took Zirnitra and hugged him closely while closing my eyes. "No regrets, my brother?"
"Yes, no regret my lifelong brother Samuel Demantius."
The tower collapsed and before I hit the ground all the rock fell on my head.
A few hours later, a Tomogara squad that Haborym send arrived at the collapsed tower.
"Seems like the other group has taken down this one."
"You think there any survivors?"
The Tomogara started to look around and not long after they dug up an unconscious and gravely injured Samuel in hugging position with his oh so dear 'brother'.
"He's still alive, but he'll need some aid. Let's call the hospital, but be careful I don't want my clothes soaked in his blood."
And so they dragged another bloody victim to the hospital.
Now back at Seireiden… things have gotten a lot quieter. Yuji is still in emo mode, since there hasn't been any news about Shana and Hecate and Bel Peol are still standing there lost. One of the patrolling Tomoraga, who survived Rebecca and Khamsin's attack walked by with a stray of food in the hopes he could cheer him up.
"Uhm commander, I made lunch, so if you could please eat something or else you won't regain your full power."
Yuji looked slowly up, but he ignored him and went back to his emo position.
"Uhm… okay, how about we go for fresh air, then you'll be able to come up with a new strategy to beat the Shin'i no Yuite and get your wife back?"
"My plan failed…" Yuji started. "There's no way that I can get her back now. That old bitch won again… she took my happiness away… I can't see Shana again."
The Tomogara looked worried at his commander. "Great, I guess there no other option." He mumbled to himself. "I don't think I understand the whole situation, but if I'm getting this right… THAT'S WRONG!"
He gave Yuji a slap on his head. Yuji slightly flinched. He rubbed the back of his head and turned around while looking surprised at his subordinate. "Diamond, what are you doing?!"
"… for the last time, Dia is fine and you should give up so easily! A man is supposed to protect the ones dear to him and he shouldn't give up until he accomplished his goal! If you're a man, then you should do it too! Well that's what Pearl always tells me thought he always does it with a hot-headed face and he starts to yell so loud that I feel like my ears explodeeouch!"
Diamond turned around to see his friend pulling hard on his ear. "DON'T MAKE ME SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT! I DON'T ACT THAT WAY!"
"Ouch, ouch, ouch, Pearl, my ear, you're pulling to hard."
Pearl finally let go of his friend's ear and turned to Yuji. "Dia is right; you're not supposed to give up! Life is about hardships and it's up to us to overcome them! And as our commander you should be able to do that with ease! With willpower you'll be able to go far in life!"
"Yes, I'm sure that you'll be able to get the princess back if you don't give up!" Diamond cheered.
Yuji got up slowly and walked towards the door. "With willpower you'll get far huh? Hmm, you're right; I shouldn't let myself get beaten by an old hag whose life is rotten away for years! We'll have a change of plans!" Yuji turned to face to two Tomogara with his old proud, arrogant face. "We'll head to Misaki city! Knowing that old hag, she'll appear if she noticed that we continue with the grand order and now that her grip on the Flame Haze weakened drastically she'll have to appear into the battlefield herself! That will be the perfect moment to get my Shana back! Diamond prepare the lunch, I haven't eaten anything after the wedding, so I am starving. Pearl, call everyone to the meeting room!"
"And don't forget to get a cake!" Bel Peol commanded. "We have to celebrate that the commander is back to normal again!"
Diamond and Pearl both bowed before leaving the room. "Yes sir!"
"Neh Dia?" Pearl asked.
"How did we end up working here again?"
"Bel Peol-sama begged us after visiting our restaurant for like 5 times."
Hecate stared after the two as they disappear from the room. She turned to Yuji and Bel Peol. -_-"…Why Misaki City of all places?
Purson – transformed into a kitten
Urvall – absorbed into Nietono no Shana
Other Tomogara that were victimized by Shana and Tenmoku Ikko – absorbed into Nietno no Shana
Ninjas – absorbed into Nietno no Shana
Samurais – absorbed into Nietono no Shana
Judo masters – absorbed into Nietono no Shana
Sumo wrestlers – absorbed into Nietono no Shana
Decarabia. – Hospitalized
Sabrac – Hospitalized
Fecor – Hospitalized
Centerhill – Hospitalized
Samuel – Hospitalized
I gotta be honest; I really missed the victim list. Call me mean or evil, but I think it's funny. So I hope I still got it and didn't disappoint my reader with this chapter. Ow and for Rizana who asked me to contact her whenever I update, well you didn't leave any contact info, so it's hard to do that, thought you might want to check out my profile I put there a link of my group where I post my updates. Or else you could make an account and follow this story.
Me: I can't believe I finished this chapter already.
Shana: Yeah and it took you so long to work on it.
Pearl: Why did you give us another cameo?
Me: because I'm a super big fan I well a parody is supposed to be about randomness and references to other media and franchise.
Diamond: I thought it was fun.
Alastor: So when will you finish the next chapter?
Me: I have no idea honestly, I have to celebrate my cousin's birthday, I'll be going home next week, maybe I have the chance to at least make some drafts.
SnH: Just make sure to not tease us that much.
Me: Are you freaking kidding me!
Samuel: Yeah! You saw what she did in this chapter, there's no way that she'll be nice to us!
Centerhill: I need livelong therapy to get over this! *sniff*
Me: Yeah yeah, anyway guys thanks for reading! I'll promise I'll try to update faster, but I also have other stories to work on. So till next time my lovely readers and don't forget to leave a review!