It's Hard

AN: BBRAE! I'm back baby and better than ever! Sorry if it's a bit too angsty….

Disclaimer: Teen Titans are not mine. You know that right?


"Guys, I'm back." Said a cautious voice.

"TERRA'S BACK! OH JOY!" Starfire screamed in delight. She wrapped her arms tightly around Terra. Beast Boy's smile, however, was stronger than the force of Starfire's hug.

"Terra! I can't believe you're back!" Beast Boy said to her softly, happily.

"You convinced me, Beast Boy. You're my family. All of you guys are!" She turns around and smiles at each one of us. "I've missed you all so much… Especially you, Beast Boy…"

He only wrapped his arms around her in response.


Have you ever heard a Raven cry? Have you seen that glorious bird fold her wings and collapse in her nest?

It's a horrible sight. It's similar to seeing Snow White in her glass coffin or a dead rose.

It breaks your heart.


Raven's head was throbbing in anger and pain. She sat alone in her room, meditating. But her emotions allowed her no rest.

She heard the voice of Knowledge and Wisdom calling to her.

"Come quickly! You must, Raven, you must!" Their voices called.

Knowing what was awaiting her, she simply walked to get her mirror. Her purple cape had long since become a charcoal black. Her hair grew and her smiles occurred less and less.

She stared into the mirror, the sight of her lifeless eyes discouraging her more and more.

Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Matrion, Zinthos. Azarath, Metrion, ZINTHOS.

Her soul self finally enveloped her weak form and brought her to the realm of her emotions. She landed gracefully in the center of all Nevermore.

Rage greeted her with an evil look on her face. "Finally here, I see. We finally mean something to you?" She growled.

Surprisingly, it was Timid who spoke up next. "D-d-don't even b-b-bother Rage." She seemed to stand a bit more firmly. "Give up already, the rest of us have."

Rage begun to shake in anger.

Wisdom and Knowledge came to her, their eyes lackluster and their cloaks dingy.

Raven wordlessly led them to the now shared domain of Love, Happiness, Confidence, Courage, Affection and Optimism.

She couldn't help but note in dismay that the flowers were dying like their owners. The sky was filled with dark gray clouds; thunder and lightning pounding and lighting up the dismal horizon.

Weak coughs were barely heard over the thunder. Raven's heart clenched painfully at the scene.

Love, Happiness, Confidence, Courage, Affection and Optimism lay on the ground, shivering. They huddled together as if hoping they could together create one strong emotion. They stayed in their respective bodies, however, and continued to suffer their shared illness together.

"I'm sorry." Raven whispered as she fell to her knees. Tears poured down her cheeks with force as Raven finally admitted her defeat. "My only chance at a good life is dying before my eyes…"

"We're not dead yet." Optimism whispered.

"We'll keep holding on for you, Rae." Love added, addressing her fully form with the term of endearment Beast Boy used to use on her.

"Raven." Burned on the tip of Raven's tongue but she bit it away. She only crawled forward and cupped Love's cheek. She kissed the forehead of each of her dying counterparts on the gem.

A barely there wave of strength passed through the "Smile" emotions as they all embraced her in a hug.

"We'll miss you, Raven." Affection cooed. "You were so good to us when we were healthy. You might not have listened to us, but you loved us each the same. That's why we're still here."

"We'll fight to the very end." The similarly-clad Courage and Confidence said with, well, a courageous and confident tone.

"We'll come back one day, Raven." Optimism assured her.

"We're very thankful for all you've done." Happiness chirped weakly. She smiled with as much strength as she could.

They embraced once more.

Love then added. "And it was never your fault, Raven."

"Then who shall take the blame for this?" Raven countered, gesturing to her broken emotions.

"Terra. Beast Boy loved you, and you loved him. But once she swept back in, you believed yourself to not even have a chance. She's a poison for him, Rae. And she's a poison to us all, as well."

At this, even Wisdom and Knowledge began to cry. Rage, having calmed down, joined the huddle of emotions.

In Nevermore, every emotion Raven held- as well as Raven herself- held on to each other as the lives of the once beautifully cloaked emotions faded away except for Love and Happiness.

They managed to hold on, the sight of their friends missing almost sent them into oblivion themselves, but they held on.

Hours later, Raven had no choice. She had to go. Her communicator beeped angrily.

"Farewell." She said softly as she disappeared.


"Titans; ATTACK!" Robin yelled the familiar saying. The six titans rushed to the Hive members, currently strong with the unlikely addition of Red-X after the betrayal of Jinx.

The masked villain chose his opponent wisely. Robin was too easy; he's fought him way too many times.

Then something caught his eye. The once powerful Raven was barely holding on in the fight. He quickly rushed over to her.

His arms wrapped around the frail body of Raven without much complaint. She was too weak to do more than struggle in his grasp.

"STOP!" Red-X yelled to his villainous cohorts. "I found myself a little prize. What's got you so dark and dumped, Rae?"

"Get away from me!" She attempted to yell. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"

She did the spell but even it faltered before she could escape from his arms.

A sob wracked through her body.

"Please." She begged softly, at a loss of what to do.

Red-X put her down softly in response. The Titans stood in shock, not sure of what to do. Before they could react, the Hive took off in a cloud of dust with nothing to gain for it.

Cyborg was the first to move to Raven's side.

"What's wrong, girl?" He questioned softly.

"It's hard." Raven whispered at a volume only Cyborg and Beast Boy could hear. Beast Boy due to the increased level of hearing.

Cyborg didn't question further but chose to wait.

"It's hard living, when your emotions are dying."

Cyborg rose quickly in shock. "Your emotions are dying?"

Robin went to her side as well.

"How do we stop it?" He asked firmly, eager to defeat the new, mysterious enemy.

"We can't. I can't." Raven admitted defeat. She attempted to stand. As Cyborg and Robin rushed to steady her, her eyes drifted to Terra and Beast Boy; the lovers standing very close to one another. In fact, Terra was in Beast Boy's arms.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH" Raven screamed as a sharp pain went through her chest.

"Love and Happiness have died, Raven," Whispered Wisdom and Knowledge.

All of the Titans were now surrounding her.

For the second time that day, Raven started to cry heavily.

In between choked sobs, she attempted to tell them.

"L-l-l…. Love….. a-a-a-… an….and…..H-h-h-h-hhhhhhh….Happiness…." She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. Her breathing evened enough to announce in a voice filled with ache and pain, "Love and Happiness have died. Optimism, Courage, Confidence and Affection died hours earlier."

The Titans jaws opened in shock.

"Why, Rae?" Beast Boy asked her.

Her breathing now calmed, Raven was now allowed to answer her green love.

"It doesn't matter, Beast Boy. The thing is, it's too hard to live without them. I'm dying." At this, she pulled the cloak from around her body and ran her fingers softly over the protruding ribs. They could easily see her body suffering from malnutrition and dehydration and each member cursed themselves for not noticing.

"Come on, friend Raven. We can get the medical assistance you need," Starfire quickly said. "And you shall be healthy and-"

"I'm sorry, Star."

"You can't just give up, Rae." Cyborg pleaded.

Drawing all of her strength, Raven slowly stood up. She turned away from Terra and Beast Boy and her family.

"I need to go to Azarath. I want to die there like the rest of my people. It's selfish of me, but I can't get there on my own." Raven quietly said.

Tears were shining in all of the Titans' eyes. Terra escaped from Beast Boy's grip.

"I'm the one doing this to you, aren't I?" Terra asked boldly.


Beast Boy angrily spoke up. "Terra, you know that isn't the—wait WHAT?"

"This has started when Terra joined us once more." Raven explained simply.

Terra nodded in sympathy. "I'll leave. It's the only way."

Beast Boy was about to protest before he looked to the frail form of his once close friend.

Raven removed her hood from her eyes and looked at each of the Titans in turn.

"Actually, I must leave." Raven finally said before immediately taking a shaky breath.

The Titans were all at a loss. Slowly, Beast Boy made his way to Raven and wrapped his arms around her.

She noted that it felt much warmer than Red-X.

Her body begun filling with an intense heat. As his arms held her and pulled her closer to himself, she felt rather than heard her emotions crying in joy.

Optimism has returned!

Courage just leaped back to life!

Confidence has risen!

Affection is back!

Happiness is alive!

Raven waited in Beast Boy's arms. Where is Love?

She closed her eyes and saw a crippling scene.

Despite the euphoria still crackling in the air with excitement, all of her emotions stood hand in hand over the lifeless body of Love.

Wisdom held on to Rage. Rage held on to Timid. Timid held on to Optimism. Fear. Courage. Malice. Optimism. Guilty. Affection. Knowledge. Confidence. Wisdom. They clung to each other despite their differences.

As they watched –Raven from a distance- an electric shock ran through Love. Her body writhed in pain and another figure emerged from within her.

A black-cloaked figure stared straight at Raven. Her black lips smirked before opening to show two rows of identical but sharp teeth. Her black tongue licked her lips and long-nailed hands clad in red nail polish clawed at the body of Love until blood poured from her victim.

"Love is dead! I am here to rule you all! I am HATRED! Cower at my feet for your only chance at life has been torn to shreds!"


The Titans weren't prepared to see Raven faint in Beast Boy's arms. He quickly lowered her to the ground with himself and pressed his gloved hands to her neck with no results. In a fit of anger, he shredded the glove of his right hand with his teeth before pressing the now-bare fingers to her neck.

"Her pulse is really weak. And slowing." Beast Boy said with a sound of agony in his tone.


Raven's body lay in the hospital bed. She wasn't even floating. She couldn't heal herself. She was dying quickly.

Beast Boy sat in the chair next to her and held her hand.

Hatred was dead. The other emotions quickly made sure of that. Now, they sat mourning over Love's body. It was now clear that she won't open her eyes again.

On a chance, Beast Boy leaned over her body and pressed his lips to hers, not at all fazed by the coldness of her mouth. Instead he kept his position and brought his hands to her. He ran his hands over her arms and neck and cheeks as his lips pressed firmly to hers. She was warming up and a blush painted her grey cheeks.





The emotions stood over her body with bated breath. Slowly, the emotion began to rise and finally opened her eyes.

At the same moment, Raven opened her eyes for the last time. A soft smile curved her lips against Beast Boy's.

"Raven, I love you." He murmured against her lips.

"I love you as well. Always will."

Beast Boy stared into the eyes of the Raven.

They were beginning to close!

"Raven, hold on!" Beast Boy yelled to her.

The sound of her heart on the monitor slowed.

"I love you, Beast Boy." She said softly before the beeping evened out into one long sound as her eyes closed.


AN2: This ended very sadly…. I'm sorry…. Consider this the better version of "She's Everything I'm Not."

I'm considering making a sequel to this if I get enough reviews asking for it!

Happy Early Valentine's Day! Sorry if I made it too angsty and depressing…. LOVE YOU ALL~~~~