Seth watches her. He watches her all the time. It's like he can't help it. And maybe he can't.
Right now, he sees her walk by, chatting animatedly with the person who claims to love her most, and he is reminded of the past, when he realized how hopeless love was. But he can't hold it against her or Jacob.
It is he who screwed up.
He, who is still aching inside; he, who is too afraid to show it; he, who suffers everyday in silence.
He smiles because he knows it is what they expect - it's what she expects. But it still hurts. It hurts every time he's near her and even when he's not. He touches her, but only because he's pretending...and he pretends every moment he can. He hides his feelings so deeply that no one can find them, even through his mind. Would they ever find out simply by the way he looks at her? He doesn't know. So he cries bitter tears and tells himself that he doesn't need her.
I don't need her.
But he does.