England sat staring blankly into the mirror behind the bar, brandy in hand, trying desperately to erase his last conversation from his mind. A blond figure appeared behind him in the reflection, and he glanced up. "Germany?"

"Uh, England, I have a question-"

"OH GOD NO! Not you too!" England sobbed in horror. "I won't explain it again! I won't!"

Germany blinked. "Actually, I just wanted to know why Prussia has apparently been muttering angrily under his breath nonstop for the past five hours. Sealand told me it's keeping him awake."

England rested his forehead on the bar. "I don't know, but if I had to guess it'd be something to do with what Russia's been asking everyone." He saw the papers in Germany's hand. "Ah, I see you already know about that. You've been looking up diagrams for him?"

"He's been asking everyone?" Germany put two and two together. "... Ah. I think I should go and talk to Prussia. This is going to be fun to explain to his therapist ..."

"... dumb butt-ugly bastard, forty fucking years, practically shopping for a chastity belt, so not-awesome it's not funny ..."

Prussia was stopped abruptly in his angry pacing by walking slap-bang into what appeared to be a large cold wall in a scarf. Closer inspection from his new position sprawled on the floor proved it to be a very embarrassed-looking Russia.

"What do you want?" Prussia spat, tucking the flustered Gilbird back into his hair.

"I wanted to apologise," Russia said, twisting his hands in his scarf. "I didn't know I was making you uncomfortable all that time. I'd like to assure you that I definitely don't want to do sex acts with you." He smiled reassuringly.

Prussia blinked in disbelief, then jumped to his feet and irritably jabbed his finger at Russia's chest. "Why not? I am pretty damn awesomely hot, you know!"

Germany, having turned the corner about the time Prussia had bumped into Russia, quietly turned and walked back to the bar.

The End.

Heehee. Well, that's the end. Prussia's view is not particularly healthy, but he's Prussia, so yeah. Poor Russia XD Poor everyone else, for that matter. Hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and see you all around!