Hark what's this I hear, the sound of better writing.

Yes my friends finally in my Senior year of schooling I'm going to continue this story, because A it's a nice typing exercise and a break from the constant stream of essays.

I actually typed another chapter a while back but sadly my computer decided it was going to well pull some sort of Spanish inquisition move and simply destroy my files. I lost the outline as well but now that I think about it was a little silly anyway. Not that the revision isn't going to be ultra hella silly but hopefully after five essays on the book.

I will try my damn hardest to get this edited and for those of you who left constructive criticism STOOP FLAMUN. Haha I jest naw, thanks for the feed back I loved it. It will hopefully make this story better in the future.

And here we go loyal Hitchhiker's

Chapter five

Marvin: god not this again…

Who let you out!?

Marvin: I escaped, I bet your not even wondering how I managed to do it

But I locked you in a trunk….IN AUSTRLIA!

Marvin: your not even going to ask how I managed to escape with my massive brain. Nobody ever cares..

….Chapter Five everyone

All in all the trip to Orthosie seemed to take a short amount of time, most of said fore mentioned time being spent with Arthur scrambling to pull him self together. Ford biting what little nails he had left out of nerves for this scheduled date, Trish trying to get a hold on the situation, Zaphod even in what could be assumed to be the early afternoon indulging in some sort of strong alcoholic drink, and Marvin being a general downer as usual.

Arthur was finally dressed and ready to go when the ship has finally touched ground with the planet's surface. He hoped that it was one of the rockier planets remembering their last adventure on a springier surfaced planet that left Arthur with an upset stomach and nasty bruises on his behind.

Trish has taken the liberty OD dressing Arthur, with Arthur was to busy trying not to curl up in to his safety ball to take offense to. Although his house robe was still one of his more favored garments, reminding him of his time on earth the thing was ratty, zap hole filled and smelled of something that might have been Vogon drool. Trish has instead for this situation replaced the green faded garment with a similar colored but much nicer material jacket. It even had a similar texture on the inside of the jacket coupled with a simple shirt as well as a nice pair of pants and shoes he was dressed and ready to go out on the town.

"So are you ready to go on your date" Trish said sporting a grin that would put even the toothiest of the multi-mouthed Molarians to shame.

Arthur fiddled with some stray piece of thread on his jacket trying to keep it together. He looked down at the thread as if that simple piece of yarn. Like material was the only thing keeping him together and to pull it would be like striking the match to another Arthurific melt down.

He finally straightened up some before taking in a deep breath looking back at the still grinning Trish and nodding some.

"Good, form what Marvin has gruesomely told me, Ford is about close to nibbling off his finger tips so you'd better head off"

"Hopefully I don't make a fool of my self" Arthur sighed some before smoothing out his shirt some.

"No offense Arthur but Ford already seen you in some pretty compromising position I don't think you fumbling on a date is going to just take the fire out of his br-"

"Alright! Welp I'm going now have a nice night dealing with Marvin" he said a mock grin of glee

Trish frowned at that notion, "I try to help and this is the thanks I get" folding her arms and giving a mock look of hurt. She was quick to trop the Façade as she began to push Arthur some closer to the door. "Hurry now I'm sure ford is down to his cuticles by now"

Arthur huffed some as being shoo'd out the door, "Alright I'm going…"

"You to love birds have fun" Eddie piped in as cheery and annoying as every.

"Hopefully this date of your isn't to miserable~" Marvin drawled in some sort of attempt to wise the human good luck.

Arthur smiled some before nodding and going in to the main deck where Ford was biting…cross that wrestling with Zaphod in an attempt to bite his nails.

"Um." was all Arthur could say while standing there looking at the semi cousin's struggle of Zaphod third arm.

Ford quickly released the appendages making Zaphod almost smack him self in the face. "Arthur your ready" Ford said face lighting up some making his eye sparkle which in turn did funny little boy scouts knots with Arthur's stomach. Arthur nodded some but didn't have time to respond before ford was grabbing on to his arm and quickly pulling him off the ship. To his stunned surprised the ground was thankfully hard. When ford had finally stopped pulled Arthur was able to look down and see they were standing upon something that looked to be a cobble stone street of some sort. He knew at the least it was some sort of stone which to be honest he hadn't set foot on any kind of rock in quite a while.

His vision slowly pulled up as his eyes set upon and area that looked suspicious like an alley of shops of some sort. Of course it wasn't like anything he was used to seeing on earth. And It wasn't very often they went shopping, when ever they did Arthur was more accustomed to staying on the ship to avoid last time incident. He shivered some at the thought thinking how he'll never look at a sales clerk the same way again. The earthman felt a small nudge as his beetlgusian date nudged him some nervous smile creeping on to his face.

"Come now Arthur your not freezing up on me," the words were obviously meant to have humor contained somewhere in them but they only gave off a little nervous and more than a little jittery.

"What? Oh! No..no no, I'm fine just taking the scenery as all. It's not so often we set foot on a planet and we're not being shot at chased, captured or a combination of all three." He gave a nervous chuckle resulting in a little uneasy volley of laughter coming from the both of them. Like the nerves were having some sort of mating dance and feeding in to the uneasy feeling both earthman and beetlgusian were suffering from.

"Well we don't want to be late than, we should get going"

"Late-" Arthur was unable to finish his sentence when Fords hand was suddenly clasped around his own leading him down the shopping alley. There was that warm feeling again. That feeling of comfort that seem to wrap around his mind and quiet his nerves some. He couldn't help but smile softly at the positively fuzzy feeling.

"Where are we going exactly?" Arthur inquired

"It's a surprise"

"No offense Ford, I trust you and all but some of your "surprises" have no turned out so well for me"

"It's a wonderful surprise, I promise completely nonlethal"

"I'll still have all of my limbs and or clothing at the end of it right"

"Yes to the first part and No to the second part"

"Oh-Wait what?" Arthur said with just a hint of panic.

"Well if this Date thing goes well, I defiantly plan to remove those pants from you one way or another"

"Ford!" Ford he said looking to see if any of the passing organisms with ears had heard that. Weather or not they did didn't stop the poor ape descendant from blushing as the Ford smirked and pulled the other man along. Soon they arrived at what looked to be a dock of some sort with a variety of creatures standing in land awaiting what ever vessel was on it's way.

Instead of going to wait in line, Ford pulled Arthur to the front causing a squealing protest from some sort of giggly see through creature that looked as if it was sporting some kind of wig and was obviously dressed to prowl the town. Arthur quickly looked away before he caused any more upset looking back at Ford who was chatting with the man holding some sort of electronic clip board.

"Ford we can't just jump all these people"

"Oh don't worry about them there single"

"I don't see what that has to" Again story progression decided to cut Arthur mid sentence as a..Creature that look startling like a giraffe and a turtle had some sort of drunk sexcapade and had one of the strangest looking off spring Arthur had ever set eyes upon. Said creature cleared his very long throat some as he seem to press a few useful and not so useful buttons on the futuristic clip board looking back at Ford and Arthur and giving what looks to be a smile if one were to tilt your head sides and squint.

"Mister Perfect, Mister dent your couples table is ready. Any scenery you have in mind for this dinner"

Ford quickly dipped in to his pocket and placed it in to the giraffe mutants cloven hands. "I brought my own" ford smile. The giraffe mutant sort of smiled again before giving a slight jostle of the head that might have been a nod of some sort.

"Enjoy your time at the Holo-Diner-Fantasa voyage"

"The what" Arthur said as Ford tugged him along again stepping on to the dock as a Circular orb seem to descend from the sky lowering it self to the deck edge and opening awaiting the arrival of it's soon to be occupants.

Arthur gulped some looking at the mysterious orb causing Ford to slow down some, as if he felt the other mans slight panic and gripped just a bit tighter on the Arthur's hand, making another warm pulse shoot through him and lessen the anxious feeling a good amount.

"Don't worry Arthur, I promise it'll be fun..not dangerous in the least. No marching pants, no Kill-o-zap-o guns, no vogons, no mythological figures nothing just you and me and a nice dinner for two" the Alien smiled giving one of those expression that made Arthurs stomach twist it self in to complicated unwanted knots.

"okay" he breathed out as they walked a few more steps and climbed inside of the pod. There seem to be a table setting there in the middle of the large pod sat a table. Simple white…round very modern looking like one of the outrageous plain ones you saw on some bad sci-fi movie.

Arthur and ford made their way over to the table Ford pulling out the chair for his ape descendant date and soon taking a seat on him.

"So what no-" It seemed some cosmic force out there was having a great deal of fun cutting off the speech of the poor earth man because before he could speak another word the hatch to the pod closed. He couldn't really tell weather the vehicle was moving or not. All he knows it as soon as the lights went of a Hand was there to grab his returning that lovely warm feeling as they remained off for a few seconds.

It helped when suddenly there was the sensation of a flashlight being shined in Arthur's face. He saw nothing but little purple dots as suddenly their table seemed to be in what looked to be an endless grassy field. Arthur found his head turning in various directions his view only obstructed by his neck inability to turn 360 degrees.

"Ford where are we," He inquired

"Well technically was still I the pod dearest"

"Really"

"Yes, were enjoying the best simulations the couples package of the Holo-Diner-Fantasa voyage has to offer"

"But" he said motioning to the realistic feeling grass beneath his feet.

"Oh this, well While I was one earth I remember when I first landed there, I took some pictures so the guide could some visual shots of earth. I was thinking maybe it'd be come a tourist destination for those who you know where interested in that sort of nature business"

"So what…this is earth?" He said face going to a blank slate of neutrality.

Ford nervously pulled at his collar some as if the ghost of his father was attempting to exact revenge by trying to choke him, but being a ghost could only is mildly annoying with some sort of invisible pestering pressure to his throat.

"Yeah, If you don't like it I can" this time it was some one else's turn to cut off as Arthur leaned in and gave Ford a soft kiss on the lips. There was a small jolt that went through both party's lips.

Arthur may have been a little teary eyed but Ford was to engrossed in the lingering thought of Arthur's surprisingly soft lips to care.

"It's perfect, ford I love it" the both of them knew there was a pun in there somewhere but relishing in the moment they didn't really care.

Needless to say for once in their action packed, drama filled, adventure driven alcohol drenched lives, Arthur was able to sit and enjoy a moment of peace he had long since forgotten.

And it was all the doing of one Ford perfect.

If he had thought to spare on it he would have admitted that to be the best word for the moment. Perfect.

End chapter

WOW that was a sappy ending but I had to do it.

CUTE ENDING RIGHT! Well I finally got this chapter out. I'm sorry for all you wonderful folks that actually took the time to read this story. Don't worry I'm not like the other writers though. I'm ACTUALLY GOING TO FINSIH THIS IF IT KILLS ME!

Next chapter…. Drama-bomb

Comments are always welcome my friends.