Lord Vrel watched as Skipper Rourk came out of the managers control room, hugging a ferret close to him. He had a twitchy eye as he looked at the squirrel with the look of a mad man.

"H-hello-o-o sq-sq-squirrel. This is my knew pet!" The otter held out the passed out ferret, who was as limp as a rag doll. "I'm afraid he went sleepy weepy and won't be ready for the show! BUT I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM!"

The otter wrapped his arms around the ferret again, rubbing cheeks with him.

"My own likkle ferret! Bahaha! Hahahahaha!"

Kegusaran walked in on the little scene but stopped when he saw the otter cuddling the ferret, and slowly backed out, closing the door as quietly as possible behind him, not wanting to be involved. Vrel face palmed as the otter ran off with his friend, slamming the door to the control room and locking it.

"Oh boy. Were in the hands of someone crazier than Ferret." The squirrel groaned as the intercom came on and the otter was heard speaking to them.

"Hi everybody! Todays show is-" There was the sound of the door being kicked in, again, and there was a loud WA-THWACK and a thud as some one hit the floor. Seconds later Kegusaran was heard on the intercom. "Ok. I took care of him. Now we can get back on track."


Beasts of all sizes and ages were once again, to their dismay and discomfort, forced to take part in the not so popular show "Cooking With Cluny", and with everyones favorite ferret, Ferret!

"Hello and welcome back to "Cooking With Cluny"! I'm your host, Ferret!" A squirrel popped up next to him, a cheerful smile on his face.

"And I'm Vrel!" They both shook hands happily, both of them muttering death threats to each other.

"And today were going to discuss a serious matter. It has come to my attention that most of you Salamanderashtray hares want me-" A spear flew from the "Hares" section of the audience, and the ferrets head twitched to the side, making the spear miss its intended victim and stab into an unlucky back stage otter. "-dead."

"Yer damn right wot!" Basil Stag hare yelled from the audience, and several hares yelled in agreement.

"Yes, most of you are quite angry and peeved that I smeared the name of Salamandastron and your badger leaders," Several Badger Lords growled at the ferret, "And want to rip me limb from limb."

"So I've decided to redecorate the entire mountain of Salamandastron, give it a new paint job, and throw in some TV's." The badgers and hares were speechless. So speechless in fact that there was an awkward silence for a good thirty seconds, both the ferret and the squirrel shuffled their feetpaws.

"Uuuh... surprise!" The ferret said gleefully, waving his arms around, trying to get a reaction. And boy did he. There was an uproar of cheering and the ferret was grabbed by one of the badgers and hugged until his ferrety spine couldn't take it no longer, and then his paw was shook so much by happy hares that he promised he would stab a beast if he heard "wot wot" one more time.

After that whole happy fest was over both of the host spread their arms akimbo, saying,

"And now we give you "Cooking With Cluny!" A curtain rose and the two both ran off stage as Cluny swaggered behind the table/stove thingy, a wooden spoon in his paw. He sat their for a moment, then yelled,

"CHEESETHEIF! GET YOUR SCRAWNY AND SEXY- ER- I MEAN WEAK ARSE IN HERE!" Cheesetheif scurried on stage and did a salute, and Cluny ordered him to get him a large bowl, flour, milk, salt, and the other things you need to make a cake. And as the rat dug around the utensils, his butt sticking out of the cabinet, Cluny grinned and stared, but stopped as he noticed the crowd watching. "Uh, Ahem! Yes, today were making a cake! And will be sharing it with all of you wonderful beasts!"

"Aren't you dead?" Veil spoke up from the audience, and cluny groaned as he noticed it was him who said it.

"Are we goin' to start this sh(bleep) again? I'm serious if I have to-" A loud explosion blew a hole in the wall next to him, sending him flying back, and an otter, a drunk looking stoat, and sexy weasel maid ran in.

"HI! Were all in this story to!" All three of them pulled out numerous modern weapons and started shooting off rounds, screaming and creating a massive din as villains and heros all dived for cover as the stands were blown into chunks.

In the control room, Ferret and Vrel both watched as the three sprayed rounds into the walls, not even aiming at the woodlanders and vermin really, just wasting bullets. One of them, a stoat, noticed the camera and waved. Ferret knew this beast.

"Hiya! Guess what? We used your money to buy these!"

Vrel started to laugh at the ferret as he groaned and face palmed and slumped down in his chair, but stopped as the sexy weasel mentioned him.

"Oh yeah, and Vrel," The squirrel heard a distant explosion. "Yer choppers f(bleeped)."

"NOOOO! THAT WAS A RENTAL!" The squirrel seemed to pulled the dual broad swords out of his ass as he ran down the hallway, screaming, "You'll f(bleep)ing pay for that! LITERALLY!"

Ferret heard several swishes and thwacks and screams of pain as the squirrel laid waste to the three, and there was the rattle of machine gun fire and an explosion. Later, Vrel came back. One of his swords were busted clean in two and he had a rudder like tail in his other paw. He coughed out a puff of smoke as Ferret noticed his ash covered face.

"Ugh." The squirrel muttered as he flopped face first to the ground, and seconds later a grumbling otter stomped in, missing a rudder like tail. Snatching his tail from the squirrel he stomped out.

And now I give you what you've all been bitching fooor Cooking Wif Cluny! Staring of course Vrel, Kegusaran 14 for like a paragraph, Lustig as the drunken stoat, SpiderMilkshake as the sexy weasel maid (wink wink), and Weirdone17 as the otter who got his tail ripped off! Hope you enjoyed!