"CHHHEEESSSE THHHEEEEIIIF!" Cluny yelled, flailing his arms around madly like a little dibbun as he whined, "I WWWAAAANNT MYYYY SSHOOOOOW BBBAAAACK!"
Cheesetheif came running up to his mate- I mean commander- and grabbed his paw, stroking it.
"Its ok chief, calm down, caaalm down…" The rat warlord eventually calmed down, still sniffling, "See? Now whats the problem?"
"Th-th-they took m-my sh-shoooow!" The rat whined, pointing a finger at the five beasts as they drank to the revival of the show, one of them trying to sew his tail back on. "AND I WAN IT BAAAACK!"
Once again the rat started crying and whining, flailing his arms around, and he was about to complain and bitch again when the door was kicked in, a six pawed ferret silhouetted against the light.
"QUIT YER BITCHING YOU LITTLE (censored material that shouldn't be heard)! I got two chapters until I was dubbed "crazy as shit" then thrown in the loony bin!"
"Sh-shut up Swart! At least I don't kill my own children!"
"At least I have a child!"
"Shut up Veil! Daddy's talking!"
FerretWARLORD sat around, looking at the five other authors he just decided to throw into the story, and then a sudden thought hit him.
"Oh f(bleep)." The ferret face palmed. "Completely forgot about im!" Pulling out a cell phone the ferret searched through his contact until he came to the number that was titled "Twilly" and pressed talk. There was ringing for a second, then some beasts answered with a "hello?".
"Twiiiillly! Whaaaazzzuuupp?!" There was an equally loud "whaaaazzzuuup" that came from the phone. "Hey! I was wonderin' if you wanted to come down an-"
Before he could answer two red furred paws shot out of the phone and hugged the mustelid, to his surprise, and said,
"I love you man! No homo right?"
"Uh, sure? How the fu-" Before the ferret could answer the beasts cut him off.
"Shut up and back away." The ferret dropped the phone and the squirrel yelped in pain.
"OW! FU-UCK DUDE! I SAID BACK AWAY NOT F(BLEEPING) DROP IT!"
"Sorry." Then, to the ferret surprise, a red squirrel climbed out of the speakers of his phone! And god damn did he have the biggest ears! The ferret couldn't help but snicker.
"What? You have a problem with my ears pal?" The squirrel unshouldered his quarter staff and glared at the mustelid, who held his paws up in a sign of peace. And before the ferret could even explain what he meant to do, guess who waltzed up and slapped the squirrel drunkenly!
"Th- BRRRRAAAAAP!-thats for my uncle you purple people eater! Hehehe- MEEEEEEEP!" The drunken stoat was flung sky high, smashing into the table of a skipper and his otters, ruining their poker game. They all had black leather jackets and their hair was slicked back.
Skipper shot up from his chair and roared,
"GET THAT JOCK!" And in a second a legitimate 50's bar fight was in session, complete with switch blades and chairs being smashed into people! The red squirrel, Twilly, laughed madly as he flung his daggers and smashed otters and ferrets left and right with his staff, saying,
"Hahahaha! NOW THIS is a fanfiction!" Then everything went suddenly dead quiet, and every single beast stared at the squirrel, who looked around, confused.
"What?" He asked. One of the beasts, the greaser skipper, yelled,
"HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!" And everyone gasped. No one has ever done that in the history of- oh wait, its been done a f(bleep) load of times! :D
So basically everyone shrugged and the madness continued until every one was basically dead, except, of course, for the five authors and that big eared squirrel. Panting, Lustig looked over at Otter, who was at the moment nursing his ripped off tail.
"Ey Otter, do you ever wonder when he'll eventually get bored of writing the st-
Access main power grid?
Access main program grid?
(annoying picture of a big headed Dennis Nedry pops up)
"Ah ah ah! You didn't say the magic word! Ah ah ah! You didn't say the magic word!"
Arnold slammed his fist onto the desk, screaming,
"GOD DAMN IT NEDRY!"
And so my friends I hit off the end of Cooking With Cluny with a jurassic park refrence! ya! And I'm sorry if your saddened that I'm ending this story, I really am, but hell, I got Twillythemorgan in this! He's been begging to be put in this story for SSSOOOOO LONG! I finally got around to it!
I now give you the credits so you can give credit to all the authors put in the story.
Vrel- the broad sword squirrel that helped me rebuild the station.
Kegusaran 14 (or kegs)- The silver dagger throwing fox who was my first guest back when I could type.
Eulalia- I don't even know if he exists on fanfiction anymore, put he was nice reviewer. He was the long patrol capitan!
SpiderMilkShake- Smexy weasel maid
Lustig Morder- Drunk stoat
Weirdone17- the otter who friggin lost his tail
Twillythemorgan- Big eared red squirrel who I just put in the story
FresianRoses- The only horse besides the one in the first book in a redwall story
ALL OTHER CHARACTERS WERE EITHER MINE OR BELONGED TO BJ!