FerretWARLORD slumped down in his chair, and sighed.
"Well, thats the end of me." The ferret pulled out a 2 liter thing of Orange Crush and a party size bag of Nacho flavored Doritos. "Now to pig out like theres no tomorrow!"
Cluny sat up in a large bed in the infirmary. Openning his eyes he realized that it was completely dark in the room, not a beast in sight.
"Huh, theres usually that annoying mousemaid bitching at me whenever I wake up." Getting onto his feet he walked out of the room and into the hallway. Yep, he thought, I'm alone. "Sigh, its just like my child hood."
The rat walked into the studio and that to, was completely dark and empty.
"Oh dear god I died again and I'm in hell!" The rat started whimpering. "And whats worse, Vulpuz choose this as my punishment!" The rat was going to run off screaming when he heard an odd noise, coming from the managers office.
Omnomnom! Glugluglugluglglug! Gulp! Sluurrp!
The rats heart started racing as he slowly walked towards the door, his paw shaking as he reached for the handle. He could clearly hear some beast talking to himself.
"They think I'm just some scruffy ferret! They think I'm no fun!" The voice paused and there was a crunching noise and a gulping noise. "Ah! Well I'll show them!" The rat openned the door as quietly as possible and saw the sable ferret hunched over, his back turned towards him, making munching sounds.
"Uuuh... boss? You alri-" The rat squeaked in midsentence and jumped back as the ferrets head snapped around backwards. The ferret was sporting a crazy grin as the rat started to hyperventalate in sheer terror.
"Why YES, I'm just F(bleep)ING peachy!" The chair swivled around and their was a snapping sound as his head snapped back into place. "AND I'M GONNA EAT TILL I EXPLODE! OMNOMNOMNOM!" Bits and peices of Doritos went flying everywhere as the ferret started his feast again, pausing every now and then to drink a massive swig of his soda. The rat slowly inched his way out of the room and went stock still when the ferrets head shot up, his ears erect.
Oh no. No, no, no! The ferret thought, out of Doritos and soda!
"EEEEEERRRRRRAAAAAAARRRRGGG!" The ferret roared in fury. He sat up, growling and snorting, scanning the room. His eyes stopped on the rat and he smiled at him. "Why hello Cluny! Wanna join me fer dinner?"
Cluny stared at the ferret as he pulled out a massive battle axe.
Captain Euly smiled as he looked upon the studio where "Cooking With Cluny" was filmed.
"Well this ere' bally well place is really quite chipper and proper wot wot?" The hare was about to walk in but stopped when he heard a horrible scream come from with in the building. "Yep, this is it."
Kicking in the door the hare rolled in and behind the desk as silent as a mouse. Peeking over the counter he looked over at the managers office, sounds of yelling and fighting emminating from it. Inching closer to the seasoned warrior reached for the door handle but jumped back as the head of an axe was slammed through it.
"Mother of f(bleep)ing jesus- er, uh, I mean Martin!" The hare whipped out his sabre and dirk, getting into a fighting stance. The axe was yanked back, literally tearing the door off its hinges, revealing a crazy, wild eyed ferret. The ferret let out a horrible ungodly screech and charged at the hare, swinging his axe as if to cleave the captains head off.
But the hare ducked down at the last second, the axe inches away from his ear tips, and sent a kick straight at the ferrets face, but the ferrets paw shot out and grabbed his footpaw. Tossing his axe away with one paw and twisting the hare's footpaw with the other, the ferret lunged at the hare as he fell to the ground.
But the hare sent his foot paw flying at the ferret, this time in a different place.
The hare let out a loud yelp of surprise and pain as he grasped his footpaw, hopping around on one foot.
"Haha! Your silly kicks to the groin are no match for my steel cup!" The ferret knocked on the steel cup he had covering his privates(not that anyone could see them, what with having a fur coat and all- but it was a good choice after the last chapter!) and smiled cheekily. Captain Euly simply growled and tossed his dirk at the ferret, who simply twitched his head to the side, the dirk thudding into the wall.
"Ha! Yer aim-" The ferret was stopped in mid sentence by an enraged hare tackling into him, knocking them both to the ground. Euly reached for something blindly on the floor to stab with, and grabbed a banana. Stabbing down with all of his might he rammed the banana into the ferrets mouth.
"MMMMFFF!" The ferrets scream was muffled by the fruit, and he tried to spit it out, but the hare started to make him chew it up.
"Come now you cheeky little blighter! Chew this confounded thing up an-" The hare got a face full of gooey banana as the ferret spat it out, making the captain stumble off him. The ferret shivered all over and coughed and sputtered.
"BBBLLLLAAAAACKK! I hate fruit!" The hare wiped his face off, annoyed and disgusted by the annoying mustelid.
"Now look here you! Bananas are- EEEEEWWWW! Did you get some of this damn muck in my bally ear?- bananas are good in potassium, which is good for any beasts diet!" The ferret simply stuck out his tongue mockingly at the hares back, stopping when the hare turned around.
"Well I'll have you know that I am a carnivore!" The ferret pointed to a traumatized Cluny shivering in the corner, "And I was just about to have lunch!" The ferret retorted.
"Well Brian Jacques wouldn't like it that you ate another beast!" The hare yelled back at the ferret.
"Well Brian Jacques can go kiss my-" The ferret was cut off as the roof of the studio literally exploded, chunks flying everywhere, leaving a large hole in the ceiling. And none other than the great Scottsman himself, the creator of Redwall, the one who never failed to give us an awesome story, was there. Brian Jacques. Floating down in a beam of light, the author lightly landed on the floor, staring at the ferret, who was in complete awe.
"Y- YYY-YYYYO- YY-" The ferret stuttered, trying to form words.
"Your." Brian finished for him.
"...Brian Jacques!" The ferret squealed, waving his paws around excitedly. Captain Euly sheathed his sword and knelt down on the floor, looking up in awe as well, but in a more respectful manner. "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU-" The ferret was cut off as the author delivered a devastating punch to his jaw, sending him flying into a wall, half way through, his rear end sticking out.
The author turned to the hare and nodded respectively to him, and floated back up with the beam of light and back to heaven, where he now calls home.
The hare walked over to the ferrets reared end jutting out of the wall, sighing in annoyance and pity.
"Wow. Your first real look of the author of Redwall is a knuckle sandwich to the face..."
The hares ears perked up as he heard the door creak open, and whirled around, unsheathing his sabre. The silver fox yelped and leaped behind the counter, popping back up with two dagger out and ready for a fight.
"Hey." The fox said to the hare, and looking over the hares shoulder and at the ferrets butt, he remarked, "Daaaaamn! What did you do to the poor guy?"
I am terribly sorry about not including Fong Wong 14 too much and not including FresianRoses too much either, and to make it up, I'll give her an entire chapter! Just like Fong Wong got an entire one, Eulaliaaa Got one, and now she'll get one!
Please and Read and Review!