By The Time
I don't own Sailor Moon or any of the characters – if I did, season 20 would be aired by now... :P
Songfic to Mika – By The Time (which I don't own either)
A/N: Special thanks to Crossy~
Don't wake up,
won't wake up,
can't wake up.
No, don't wake me up.
A thin layer of mist covers the grounds and the flickering lights are surrounded by a hazy halo. Even the birds are still asleep, while I stand outside your window and try to make sense of what I see.
My head's still in a daze. My feet are cold and my limbs are complaining about the early exercise. But I don't really pay attention to it.
Your room's surprisingly tidy, except for the mess around your bed in which your beautiful form rests in.
I've been dreaming. Dreaming about all that is good, happy and rainbows. I've been asleep, in my comfort zone, while you were somewhere else.
How was I supposed to know?
Maybe, when we started to fight, I should have let you go. Maybe, I shouldn't have forced you into telling me... shouldn't have forced you to stay.
But it didn't feel like our usual quarrels. Didn't feel like either of us could let it go this time. Didn't feel like the trivial things, the ones that make up the shallow subjects of our 'arguments', were enough to scratch the itch, to dowse the fires. I tried to find a way to talk around, secure our routine and hold up the pillars of our destinies – but you were the one to break away... and changed the rules.
...would things have been different, if I had known before? Have I really not been aware? Have I?
Now I'll never know...
...because I didn't get the chance. Damn you.
If I had just let you go... would I forever not have known? Would I eventually have realized-..? How will I ever know?
Tell me, do you even care?
I never had a chance...
I've been so busy in the blissful unaware... Until you yelled the truth into my face; until the dam broke in a hot stream of tears; until I wondered where I'd taken the wrong turn.. If things had been different-... Like you've never made a wrong choice!
...and then you said, no. And then you said, I could...
And then... everything became right. You were right there. For me. With me. I felt safe. I melted into your eyes, your arms, your touch... For the first time in my life, I felt truly happy, at ease and secure. Your scent, your warmth – it had been there all along. My trust in you, never ever wavering and from the depths of my very being. Two pure hearts beating to the same melody of shared pain, passion and peace. The right choice being made...
Pieces of clothing lie scattered on the floor - long forgotten, not cared about.
So many things have been said, and done. So much pain had been shared...
And I dreamed, about all the good, happy and rainbows, in my comfort zone - with you right there.
Until I woke up, alone and cold.
How was I supposed to know..?
As quietly as I can, I tiptoe into your room.
I don't want to wake you. You're still asleep, a sleeping beauty. So perfect and gorgeous.
Longing for your warmth, I reach out and gently caress your cheek, let my thumb trail the path of tears long dried. Why did you run away? Why did you leave me alone, when it hurts us both so much?
...how was I supposed to know... how scared you've been – all this time?
I crawl onto your bed and you stir a little. I snuggle up to your back, inhale the familiar scent of your hair and wrap my arms around your weary body.
My body immediately relaxes - in my comfort zone. Things will be different.
An uncertain hand reaches behind and touches my side. You're still half-asleep. And I lift my own tired head and kiss your earlobe.
"Hush, Rei-chan... you won't wake up. This is our dream. I've got you."
No, don't wake me up.