Four Outlooks on a Rainy Night

By Chou

Disclaimers: I do not own Gensoumaden Saiyuki. Or Saiyuki Gaiden. I'm just a humble fan who writes fanfics. Don't sue me, onegai shimasu.

Note: Inspired by episodes 15-16 of the anime. Takes place in the anime continuity until I get the part of the manga where Gojyo meets Jien again. Then I'll edit it to comply with that, since the manga's almost always better than the anime.

Chapter 1 – Gojyo

Damn rain.

The rain's coming down hard. It's a cold rain too. The kind that gets into your bones and doesn't go away till morning. Unless you've got a warm woman to chase that chill away. Won't make you any drier though, if you catch my drift. But, unfortunately, I don't have a woman with me, and there isn't one for miles. Instead, I'm stuck in a tent with a pissy worldly monk who's packing heat, a monkey with more stomach than brains, and Hakkai. There's no short phrase to describe Hakkai. A smiling, friendly guy who fusses over the rest of us like a mother hen on the outside and who knows what on the inside. Nobody I know can read what's behind those green eyes of his, or behind that smile. And yet, he reads the rest of us like a book. Especially me and the monk. It doesn't take much effort to tell what the monkey's thinking. There's only one time where he loses the smile for a while, barring fighting crazed fortune tellers out to break his mind, and that's when there's rain. The worst night of his life happened in the rain. If nothing else, the night I found him lying face down in the rain, with a bunch of his guts hanging outside his belly was a night with rain like this. I took him home, shoved his insides back into his body and put him in my bed. As I told him when he finally woke up, that was the first and only time I put a guy in my bed. Anyway, right now, this group I'm with, which is usually loud enough to wake the dead until the monk steps in, is getting depressed out of their skulls, me included. Hakkai and the monk are depressed because of the bad memories the rain brings, and in the monk's case, the lack of travel time as well. The monkey's depressed because the monk is, and he's hungry, but he knows that if he says he's hungry, it'll cost him big time. And me, I'm depressed because the quiet moments like this are making me think about all the shit I've gone through. I'm not usually one to brood or dwell, either. Che, who am I kidding myself? The only reason I chase skirts is so I won't have to be alone to think about shit.

Guess it's one of the little things in our group: none of us are very honest. We're blunt as hell, but not honest. Well, the monkey is, but he doesn't know not to be. We all have things in our pasts that left their scars, one way or another. Kinda the thread that bonds us together. Hell, there's no other explanation for why four guys like us would stay together to sing a song ('Specially the bozu, who's like a tiger with boils on his ass most of the time), let alone do what the Powers That Be charged us to. But anyway, back to the pain and angsty stuff. I'm not to sure what's gone down in the pasts of the others, besides a few details. They know about my brother, and as far as I know, only Hakkai knows about my mom.

My mom, who put three scars on my cheek and tried to kill me.

My mom, who cried whenever she looked at me, because I reminded her that my dad did the nasty with a human enough to knock her up, producing me.

My mom, who didn't kill me because my half brother Jien, who was her son, put a sword through her so his little bastard brother would live.

You know, first time I saw Jien after he did it, we didn't talk about it. He told me he was going by a new name, we swapped a "I don't dig your lifestyle man, let's duke it out." and started fighting. What the hell? No tearful reunion, no brotherly love, nothing. Did he forget he killed his own freaking mother for me? What the bloody hell was up with that? He just looked at me calmly, like nothing had gone down between us.

A long time ago, I found living so easy it made me want to puke. I'm almost wishing I could be back at the bar, cheating Tonpu or whoever came by out of their cash, and having a warm girl in my bed if I wanted.

But hell, on the other hand, if life wasn't throwing me curves half the time, I would've never met Hakkai. Or Goku, the saru, for that matter. Hell, I'd even have missed out on meeting the Great Sanzo-sama. Heaven forbid that.

And also, if not for a night like this, three years ago, I would've never found a guy lying face down in a muddy puddle, bleeding to a death he was waiting for. The guy who became my best friend, would've been dead as a doornail. I guess sometimes, life's curves aren't that bad.

Hell, listen to myself...I'm starting to think like the monk, all moody, and depressed and whatever. Next thing you know, a chakra's gonna appear on my head and bozu great and small'll be calling me a Sanzo.

To hell with this, I'm going to sleep, or at least I can pretend to. Maybe if I try hard enough, I can dream I'm not the screwed up half breed I am. Or maybe I'll dream I've got a warm girl by my side, or maybe some good beer in my belly, not this piss in a can we've had for days without a fridge. Hell, maybe I'll see if I can start a game of cards with Hakkai, even though he's better than me, no matter how I cheat. Maybe I'll even tempt death and invite the bozu in.

Anything to get me out of this damn funk I caught from the others. I know that if I spend another second like this, I'll go nuts.

Damn rain.