Time and Space—Chapter 1.

Me Pet Thunderbolt

Author's Request: Readers, can you read my stories at 3/4 the size? Go to the link with the fraction 3/4 that is usually above the chapter list. It feels like a different experience.

"Okay, that's it!" Noel looked towards the ex-soldier, quite frustrated, and pulled out her signature gunblade Blazefire Saber. Quick as the weather condition of rain—

—Lightning. Cannot protect, only destroys.

Note that this isn't the real Lightning; just a realistic clone with everything that is so similar to the original. A monster. Only a few days have passed since the duo, Noel and Serah had "captured" the Coliseum's finest warrior. Currently, Noel added an adornment to the pink-haired girl, adding afro with a silver chocobo, only then to change the accessory with a windup key instead.

The windup key was inserted to the back of Lightning, making it seem as if she was a life-sized doll. "Maybe you do look like a doll," the young man remarked. "Oh wait." He held his giggle with his hands.

The clone swiftly swiped her gunblade at a diagonal angle, only to have the owner dodge by sliding backwards. She sneered. "Tch."

She lost some temper and placed the weapon back to its holster. Lightning reached to her back and attempted to pull of the windup key that magically stuck to her, as if Noel took some "super-super" glue and slapped it on her back. "Can you—" she struggled as she tried to tug away. "—at least remove this confounded item?"

"Well, can I?" Noel replied. He smirked. She felt she was "trolled." "Trolled" by any other forces that decided to change Noel's character in a way.

"May you please remove the windup key…?" she quietly asked. She thought, Etro, please switch places with the other me. I want to fight in Valhalla, not to be fooled around by some child. Even if I'm a clone, I do not want to stay with these two.

"Hey guys, I'm back!" Lightning and Noel stared at Serah who was waving back, running from the opposite direction.

"What's up, Serah?" Noel questioned. He noticed that the younger sister's side pack was rather bulkier than last time.

"I got a great price with Chocolina, so I got tons of stuff! Ninety-nine potions, twelve PD's!" She jumped excitingly. Mog followed her as well, answering with an ecstatic "Kupo!"

The hunter was puzzled. "Why was there only twelve Phoenix Downs?"

"Because I equipped Grimoire's Hat on," Serah replied. "Also, I can just Paradigm Shift to a Medic and Raise the KO'ed."

Lightning felt ignored. She was just pleading the young man to remove the windup key only to be left in the dust by her "real" sister, talking all about.

…She didn't even know what in the world Serah was talking about.

Live Trigger. Clone Lightning thought in her head. Noel and Serah are ignoring me at present. What should I say to catch their attention about my dilemma?

—How 'bout I Paradigm Shift to Commando and Attack you?

— What about me?

—Just remove the key and we'll all be fine.


She thought for a minute. Saying nothing would probably not change the situation. Paradigm Shifting, or whatever Serah said, won't make everything better either. Noel will probably leave that windup key on against my will. And…they would still ignore me even if I did ask.

She has decided.

She walked between the two, one arm hung on her waist and simply stated in a "cool," fashion way:

"What about me?"

There was complete silence. Not even the moogle squeaked.

Noel and Serah just stared. Bewildered.

Why…is everyone looking at me? Lightning thought.

Noel finally spoke. "So, Thunderbolt, wanna fight and recuit Daddy Bear Amodar?"

She snapped. The windup key on her back spun around as fast as her name calls. "What did you call me?"

Hello, I am going to make a parody/humor fic. Each chapter is a different story, with possible exceptions. Do you think this story is funny enough? I wanted this for everyone to read, so I had a couple of restrictions when making this chap. This chap was randomly thought of in my head, ever since that Lightning DLC came out. I don't have the DLC, so I don't know any of her roles, attacks, monster options (naming, adornments, etc.) so bear with me. In the few months back, I had a couple of ideas in for this story, so stay tune!

P.S. Is the cast too OOC? I know, I did it on purpose!