Here's the next installment for the 'Akatsuki's Worst Nightmares' series... can somebody provide me with a leash? I need to collar my muse. She's running rampant all over my mind...

Deidara's Worst Nightmare

Konan was dragging Deidara through a fair. They had been given a new assignment – track down the Daimyo of Spring Country, Koyuki Kazahana. She was rumored to be somewhere in Demon Country, attending a fair.

"Are you sure it's this one, un?"

Konan rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure. It's the only one with a Beauty Pageant."

Deidara skidded to a halt.

"Beauty Pageant, un? Uh ah. No way, un. Not happening, un. I'm not going near one of those, un."

Konan smirked.

"Too late."

Deidara's eyes widened as he looked around him.

"What the hell, un!"

Now Deidara wished he'd paid more attention to his surroundings... he was on a stage with a bunch of other girls. He glared at Konan.

"This is why you made me wear a dress for this assignment, un!"

Konan grinned.

"It's easier to find her if we're both in the pageant. I heard she's hosting the pageant and is going to be giving the winner the prize."

Deidara, scowled.

"Forget it, un. I'm not doing this, un."

He turned to walk off stage, but unfortunately for him, they decided to start the pageant right then.

"All right girls! Line up. We're starting our pageant now."

Deidara glared at Konan as he was forced to stand in line between Konan and another girl at the end of the stage. He counted how many girls there were... six, eight if he counted himself and Konan. Hopefully this wouldn't last too long. He hated Beauty Pageants.

"So we have Hisa Ame, Yuya Tayaka, Hina Tayuga, Tema Nari, Tenma Tenaka, Nairi Yuku, Raven Dara, and Enzeru Nushi. Which one of you want to start?"

Deidara looked at each of the girls. Hisa Ame was a young lady in a blue dress that went to her ankles, with a blue hair band in her short brown hair. Yuya Tayaka was a girl with long red hair in a pink dress and a flute. Hina Tayuga was a girl with short dark blue, almost black hair and pure white eyes wearing a silver dress and silver earrings in her ears. Tema Nari was a girl with blond hair held in four ponytails and in a white skirt that cut off mid shin and a brown blouse with two small metal fans. Tenma Tenaka was a girl with brown hair held in two panda ear-like buns and in a red, Chinese like dress and two scrolls. Nairi Yuku was a woman in a blood red dress that cut of mid thigh with long black hair and red eyes. Deidara scoffed, then screamed as Konan shoved him forward.

"Raven Dara? Okay, why don't you start then. Show us your talent."

Deidara glared at Konan, then reached into the bag around his waist and pulled out some clay. Letting the mouths on his hands eat some of it, he pretended to mold the clay as the mouths did their work. When they finished, they spit out a small figure of a cat. Deidara pushed some Chakra into the clay figurine and it grew larger, almost to the size of a lion.

"This is my talent... I make things go boom, un!"

Konan's eyes widened.

'I told him not to bring any explosive clay!'

The clay cat started glowing and people started screaming and running away. Then the creature next to Deidara exploded. In the smoke, Deidara's laughter could be heard. Konan's eye twitched in frustration and anger... at least until the smoke cleared. Then she started laughing, pointing at Deidara, as did the rest of the girls in the Beauty Pageant and anyone else nearby. Deidara scowled.

"What? What's wrong, un?"

Konan was crying she was laughing so hard.

"Y-yo-you don't h-have any-anything on! You're n-naked!"

Deidara blinked, then looked down at himself. He screeched when he saw Konan was right... he was naked as the day he was born. Shrieking, he ran away from the girls and the pageant... unfortunately, he ran right into the rest of the fair. So he was streaking naked through the fair... and he ended up streaking naked all the way back to the Akatsuki base in Iwa. Unfortunately for Deidara, Konan had to give a report about the mission to Pein... and she didn't leave a single detail out.

A/N Just to clear things up about the girls. Konoha and Suna were on a joint mission to guard Koyuki Kazahana for the pageant and each sent a team. Konoha sent Kurenai, Hinata, Ten-Ten and Shino while Suna sent Baki, Kankuro, Nejiri and Temari. They girls participated in the pageant under code names while the boys watched for suspicious activity from the crowd. Kurenai was Nairi Yuku, Hinata was Hina Tayuga, Ten-Ten was Tenma Tenaka, and Temari was Tema Nari.

Orochimaru also sent a team, but his team was to retrieve Koyuki Kazahana. So while Tayuya participated in the pageant under the codename of Yuya Tayaka, her team mates (Jirobou, Kidomaru, Kimimaru, Sakon and Ukon) were keeping a watch out in the crowd.

There were also three Nuke-Nins there. Hisame was there under the code name Hisa Ame and wanted to capture and ransom Koyuki off. Deidara and Konan were there doing business for Akatsuki. Deidara went under the codename Raven Dara and Konan was Enzeru Nushi.