Okay, here's the fifth part for 'Akatsuki's Worst Nightmares'. I don't have the rest writen (typed) yet, but I'll get them done soon and put them out as well. Enjoy the work that my plot-bunny-raped- mind slaved over! Enjoy it I say!


Zetsu's Worst Nightmare

Zetsu was tending to his garden, not to far outside Konoha. He was spraying his vegetables down with some pesticides when he heard a buzzing noise. Looking around, he saw a large swarm of bugs heading his way. He blinked several times before he realized what the bugs were.

"Locusts? What the hell?"

His eyes widened.

"Locusts!"

He turned and started running away from the bugs, shutting his venus fly trap-like shell as he did... unfortunately, some of the locusts flew into his shell before he managed to shut it.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

He screamed as the bugs started chewing on him. Since his shell was shut, he couldn't see where he was going and ran into several trees, bouncing between them like a pinball. He yelped each time he ran into a tree. And since he couldn't see where he was going, he never saw the cliff he was headed for...

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Ouf! Ow! Un! Agg! Ah! Ow! Ouf! Ahhhhhhh!"

He screamed as he fell off the cliff, hitting several spike-like ledges on his way down before he plunged into a river. The rapids carried him several miles down stream before he managed to pull himself out of the water. Flopping onto the shore on his back, he stared up at the sky.

"So... much... pain..." he wheezed, coughing up water.

"You called?"

Zetsu blinked as five of Pein's bodies surrounded him.

'Wait... where's...' he starting thinking, when suddenly a spike like the ones that he had crashed against on his way down the cliffs fell from the sky, landing on his nuts.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

He looked at the spike, his eyes wide. His eyes widened even more as he saw Pein's sixth body falling from the sky, on a direct course for the spike.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Zetsu's voice became a high squeal when Pein's sixth body landed on the spike. She looked down at him, cocking her head to the side.

"What happened to you?"

As she asked, one of the locusts crawled up the side of Zetsu's face and began gnawing on his shell.

All the Pein's sweat dropped.

"Never mind... I don't even want to know."

Zetsu just groaned.

"Locusts..."


A/N The bold and normal print when Zetsu speaks is because he has two halves... his white half is the normal print, his black half the bold print.