Title: You Always Want What You Can't Have
Rating: M (mild)
Summary: Stranded on a new planet, SG-1 have to wait for the 'Daedalus' to pick them up and while waiting, Jack witnesses something he really wasn't supposed to see.
Authors Notes: I found this on my computer (this is something I wrote a LONG time ago lol) and It was based on Tootapanga01 prompts; bad cooking, stranded off world, mention of MacGyver, a kiss…I think that's it XP Enjoy! Please review!
I, Jonathon 'Jack' O'Neill, was not enjoying this mission at all. First, as soon as we had stepped through the 'Gate(and I mean that literally. Carter's backpack had only just been re-materialized after the Stargate did its thing), the DHD blew up from what she said was some sort of malfunction, effectively trapping us on this snake-free god forsaken planet. Hammond could still dial in to communicate with us through the MALP and send us food, but it would be at least a week until the 'Daedalus' could arrive to take us home (apparently Samantha Carter - astrophysicist, nerd and downright genius couldn't fix it).
The second thing that made this mission just that much higher on the 'Worst mission ever list'(And trust me I do have one), Space Monkey had thought it a good idea to search for people on this planet, which led to us being lost in the middle of a large, damp forest (Which happened to be the third reason I hated this mission). In fact, just to take my frustration out, I was ready to kill Daniel for it but the big guy had so far been successful in keeping me away from the little twerp, restricting me to 5 meters distance from Daniel. Mind you, that didn't stop me from pelting any available projectiles at Daniel in annoyance. I admit my aim was off though because my shoulder was playing up (old baseball injury); each object flying past Daniel's head with such amazing inaccuracy that he had refrained from ducking any more. I was determined to get him though.
We now sat on logs under the tarp that Teal'c and I had tied up between the trees, in a - what Carter would call- MacGyver attempt (I really don't see her reason for obsessing over that guy), and after running out of ammunition to throw at Daniel, I sat staring at the fire, trying to ignore the cold rain outside.
"I find it hard to believe that we have only been on this planet for two stinking days," I grumbled, throwing a log onto the fire and Carter smiled at me with 'that look' (you know the one) over a pot of soup.
"I know, Sir. The Daedalus is traveling here as fast as it can, so all we have to do now is wait for them."
Daniel snickered, pushing his glasses up on his nose and I sent a look his way that threatened to find anything to throw at him (again, you know the look).
"What's so funny?" I snarled, throwing my energy bar at Daniel's head, hitting him directly in the forehead (FINALLY GOT HIM!)
Daniel glared, but picked up the food, and started eating it…but it was my energy bar! (Guess I hadn't really thought that one out, huh?)
"Jack, you aren't exactly great at waiting," He said between mouthfuls (of my energy bar).
"You know, this is your fault, Daniel." I said, silently cheering as I found another bar in my pack.
"How is this," Daniel gestured around us, "my fault?"
"I do believe that you were the one who recommended to trek through the shrubbery in search of civilization, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said in his deep voice and I grinned, taking a bite of my energy bar.
"Thank you, T! Ya see," I started explaining, "Danny, we could have been rugged up nice and safe in that little temple that for a while, you were so darn interested in, but instead we are here, freezing our asses off all because you thought it might be interesting to see the rest of this deserted planet."
Daniel scoffed, but said nothing, staring out into the darkness of the forest as Carter began pouring soup into his cup, passing it along to me. I eyed it suspiciously, because no matter how good she is at doing everything else, cooking is definitely not Carters forte, but, well, this energy bar wasn't as good as I had expected and the soup actually smelt good so I gave it a go.
It slid down my throat, warming me to my fingertips and I sighed contentedly, sipping more of it down.
"That's some good Chicken soup, Major," I said between mouthfuls. Daniel laughed, his face contorted with distrust as he dumped his into the fire, dropping his mug beside him and Carter blushed, cutely. (Yes it was cute, and I mean that in a strictly professional way, of course.)
"Uh, thanks Sir, but it is actually supposed to be Macaroni and cheese," She giggled, hiding her face behind her mug. Teal'c raised an eyebrow at his and I did the same, urging myself to eat the rest of it (Only because I didn't want to hurt Carters feelings). I swept my index finger along the rim of the mug as some soup was trying to drip off and stuck my tongue out to catch it off my finger. It was surprisingly tasty; even if it was supposed to be Mac and Cheese and I soon realized that there was none left, save for some remnants around the walls of the cup. I dug my fingers in, curling them to gather all of the soup off the sides then stuck them into mouth, trying to get all of the soup (I hadn't realized I was that hungry until then.) When I looked over at Carter, she was very red in the face and was staring into the fire intently. I watched her confused, but then put it down to a woman thing and yawned.
Shortly after that, we all started off to bed. Carter and I were to be sharing a tent, Teal'c and Danny sharing the other but for the first quarter of the night, T would be keeping watch outside just in case there were any nasty surprises; then would be my shift, then Danny and then Carter for the last part of the night.
I dropped into my sleeping bag with a sigh, my back protesting at the hard ground but I ignored it, slinging an arm over my closing eyes in an attempt to go to sleep. The tent opened just as I was drifting off and I opened one eye to see Carter shuffling in, peeling off her jacket and unbuckling her belt, apparently unaware of my presence in the corner. She must have thought I was still bickering with Daniel in his tent instead of already being in bed…and I should have alerted her to my being there but honestly, I was too tired and cold to move (or speak for that matter) so I lay still, pretending to be asleep as she began stripping out of her wet clothes.
A voice in my head told me that I shouldn't be doing this, but really, when have I ever listened to that voice? Besides, my view was just too good to pass up. She stood in front of me in nothing but a singlet top and underwear…very non-regulation underwear too it seemed, cradling her very, very nice six. They were lacy around the top and what looked like silk for the rest of it. She pulled on another pair of pants over top of the underwear (much to my disappointment) and then poked her head out the door of the tent for a moment. She ducked back in, a desperate look suddenly overtaking her face and she closed the door, undoing the catches on her pants.
I watched, once again confused and she looked over in my direction. I froze but she apparently didn't see me through the darkness and she went back to her pants.
She slipped a hand inside and when it suddenly dawned on me what she was doing, my mind went into overdrive. My 2IC, my major, my team member was getting herself off! My breath froze in my chest and other parts of my anatomy started up when Carters hand started moving under her pants and her eyes fluttered closed, her mouth hanging open slightly. I bit my lip when a groan threatened to escape and I could see her having the same trouble (Oh how I wanted to help her out).
She kicked her pants and underwear off, laying down next to me on her sleeping bag the opposite direction to the way I was laying but I didn't complain. From near her feet, I could just see as her fingers massaging her most intimate parts, her hand already becoming slick with her juices and suddenly my pants were very uncomfortable and tight. How many times I had dreamt about watching Carter do this, I didn't know but the real thing definitely beat the fantasy. Her eyes were closed, a blush spreading from her chest to her face and I watched intently as two fingers entered her delectable body. I was finding it harder and harder to suppress my moans of appreciation.
"Oh Jack," She moaned so softly as she thrust her fingers inside of herself, her thumb massaging her clit and her other hand reached up underneath her shirt and cupped her breast, tweaking the nipple between her fingers. I palmed myself through my pants, (What? If you were in my position where your 2IC was moaning your name as she pleasured herself, you would do the same,) and watched as she inserted another finger and brought herself to the brink, crying out silently as she came.
For a minute, she lay there panting, trying to catch her breath and I watched her, my cock straining against my zipper but I ignored it. God she was beautiful after she came! Her hair was a mess, her skin flushed, her mouth hung open and her eyes were closed as she came down from her high.
Finally, she sat back up, pulling on her clothes again and combing a hand through her hair when there was a knock at the door.
"Hey Sam," it was Daniel and he poked his head in, whispering secretively, "Do you mind if I put this on Jack's sleeping bag?" (What was that little dweeb up to?)
"Sure," She said, laughing softly as he entered, what looked like a dead spider in his hand and placed it beside my sleeping bag. He made his way back over to the door with a wicked smile on his face.
"Thanks. It'll teach him for being such an ass," He grinned, turning to leave.
"No problem, Daniel. Just make sure I don't get mixed up in this, please. By the way," Carter added in a curious tone, "Where is the Colonel?"
Daniel frowned at her, and then pointed over to my sleeping bag.
"He went to bed 15 minutes before you did. Why?"
In the cool moonlight flowing through the open tent door, I saw Carter pale.
"No reason," She said, her voice shaking and she bid Daniel goodnight, but I could see her eyes focused on me.
Slowly, she crawled over towards me, her blue eyes alert and full of fear as she finally saw me. Quickly, I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep once more but the predominant bulge in my sleeping bag was a dead giveaway that I had seen something I shouldn't have (but really, really liked).
"Sir?" She reached out, gently tapping my shoulder. "Colonel, are you awake?" She pushed me lightly.
I didn't dare move, (the friction in my pants was getting unbearable) and finally she sat back with what sounded like a sigh of relief. I felt her eyes scanning me and then she gasped softly. I knew where she was looking.
"Colonel O'Neill? Oh God, sir, please if you're awake…" There was a hint of fear in her voice, the kind you hear when the Goa'uld are attacking but this time she sounded almost as if she was going to cry. I opened my eyes, slowly moving my arm from my face to smile at her nervously.
"Hey Carter," (what else was I supposed to say?)
She looked at me mortified, asking in a quivering voice, "Did you just…?"
I nodded, sitting up on my elbows to look at her and her jaw was set, her eye filling with tears.
"Oh my god! Colonel, I am so sorry! I don't know what I was thinking!" I saw tears starting to fall down her cheeks and it broke my heart.
"Carter," I reached forward, gently touching her soft hair but she didn't look up, "Sam, look at me please."
Slowly, she looked up, her eyes red from crying and I took her face in my hands, my mind reeling. The last thing I had wanted was to see Carter cry and my heart ached as she sniffled, her face a picture of humiliation (I wondered if I told her how much I enjoyed it, would she stop crying? I don't do well with women crying.)
Without thinking, (Big surprise there, I know), I leant forward, pressing my lips to hers, her salty tears filling my taste buds and for a moment she sat surprised before melting into the kiss. My heart pounded in my chest as I pulled her to me, gliding my tongue over her lips to gain entry and I cupped her breast through her singlet, making her moan quietly.
All was going well, (well, in my opinion anyway,) until suddenly, Carter jumped back startled, her hands flying to her lips.
"Sir…we…we can't!" It seemed that a new round of tears were threatening to fall and she choked back a sob, unable to hold them back. I tried to reach forward to comfort her, but she looked as if my hand was made of goa'uld and she flinched away from it.
"Sam…" I started but with another sob, she fled to her sleeping bag, hiding her head under the covers. I watched her for what seemed like hours as her body shook and it killed me to not be able to comfort her. Damn me! It was the worst thing to see Carter cry, even worse to know that I caused it. I should have just told her that I hadn't seen anything (Or kept pretending to be asleep) and she wouldn't be in this state.
With a sigh, I lay down again, my erection now almost non-existent and it took me almost an hour to get to sleep before my shift was to start.
The next morning when I opened my eyes, Carter was already gone from the tent (of course she was, it was her shift) and I sighed, rubbing a hand over my tired face, feeling the stubble under my calloused fingers. Daniel poked his head in as I sat up, an expectant look on his face.
"What do you want, SpaceMonkey?" I yawned, stretching as he made his way over to me, scooping the dead spider from beside me sleeping bag, pouting.
"I put this next to you last night so that when you woke up, you'd crap you pants," He moped (And when Daniel mopes, he really mopes). I looked at the poor creature curled in his hand and let out a half-hearted yelp of 'fear' while I yawned and his frown deepened.
"Get up, we're going to get some more firewood while it isn't raining," he said and stalked from the tent. I sighed, climbing to my feet and my back protested at the movement but I ignored it, freshening up slightly before heading out. Teal'c stood near the doused fire and Daniel crouched next to Carter where she sat on a log, her eyes focused out towards the forest. She looked up as I walked towards them and her chin quivered. She leapt to her feet, running off towards the waterhole we had discovered after we had gotten lost, yelling over her shoulder that she was going for a bath. I watched her go, feeling anger at myself boil in the pit of my stomach.
"What?" I snapped, turning back to Daniel. He raised an eyebrow at me.
"I was wondering if you knew why Sam was so upset." He said standing, looking back in the way Sam had run off.
"I didn't do anything!" I said defensively, kicking stones on the ground angrily.
His eyebrow went higher. "I didn't say that you did."
I growled, stomping past Daniel and I ducked under the drooping tarp, sunlight breaking through the treetops. I pulled on my sunglasses and started for the water hole when Daniels voice stopped me.
I spun around in time to catch a bottle of Sun Cream and I eyed it, confused.
"Nothing makes sense like sun sense!" He said as a way of explanation and I sighed impatiently, applying some to my face before throwing it back to him.
"Where are you going?" Daniel called as I started walking again.
"To talk to Carter!" I called back shortly over my shoulder, leaving him at the camp.
It took less than 5 minutes to get to the watering hole and when I arrived, I couldn't see Carter anywhere. The water hole was huge, the size of two Olympic swimming pools put together with a small channel leading between two cliffs. I hadn't been in there before but I was guessing that's where Carter was so I took off my shoes, socks and jacket and started wading through the water, pausing a moment to let the waterfall wash over me. The water now came up to my chest as I swam across towards the passage into the cliffs, enjoying the cool water lapping against me.
I swam along the channel for a while before it opened and came to a clearing, stone walls joining to make a courtyard of sorts, trees scattered along the sand and Carter sat at the edge of the water, her body soaked and shivering. I made my way over to her, seemingly not noticing me and I got to her side, shaking my head of the water.
"Enjoying your bath, Carter?"
Just like in the camp, she looked up at me surprised and started to stand to move away from me but I grabbed her arm, pulling her back down to the sand.
"Sir, please-" She said in a voice so small I strained to hear her.
"Just sit down and listen, alright? C'mon." I pleaded (Yes, I pleaded but this is Carter I'm doing it for) and she nodded shyly, looking out across the water. "Look Carter, I'm sorry."
She glanced at me briefly and then turned back to the water.
"I didn't mean to see what I saw last night and I'm—"
"It's okay if you court martial me, sir," she said softly and I spluttered, turning to face her better.
"I know what I did last night was out of line and I understand if you want to tell General Hammond about it." Carter's voice was shaking slightly and I could see her fight to hold back the tears. She thought I was going to court martial her? And here I thought Carter was a genius.
"Carter, you don't understand!" I said, hurriedly. "If I was going to court martial you, I'd have to court martial myself!"
She frowned but said nothing so I went on.
"Look, if fantasizing about how good it would feel to (excuse my French) fuck a team mate, then by all accounts, I am very guilty. I kissed you last night! Don't you think that is court martial worthy? "
Carter shook her head, fiddling with a shell she found on the sand in front of her.
"Oh fer cryin' out loud!" I exclaimed, before I took hold of her and kissed her hard, pulling her body flush with mine. She didn't resist and I felt her melt against me as I pushed her to the ground, skimming my hands over her sides and she arched up into my touch. Her finger slid over my neck, her long fingers threading through my damp hair and she sucked on my tongue as I thrust it into her mouth, savouring her unique taste. A voice in the back of my head screamed that this was wrong, but once again the desire and lust for the woman underneath me took over my senses and I quickly removed her water drenched pants. I pulled back, both of us gasping for air and she made do of my shirt, tossing it away. Her shaking fingers glided across my muscles and I hissed when she kissed a nipple, rolling her tongue around the bud.
"Carter, if you don't tell me to stop soon, I don't think I'll be able to," I warned her and a small smile fluttered across her lips but she said nothing, her fingers reaching inside my pants to wrap around my throbbing flesh.
The rain pelted down on our sated bodies, neither of us wanting to move from each other's embrace and there were no words passed between us.
We both knew this had to be a onetime thing, restricting it to this god forsaken planet; that while I was her CO, and she was my 2IC, there could be nothing more than this between us but somehow I was okay with that. It meant that one day, after all this was done, there was a chance for us.
The week passed too quickly, our meetings lasting for hours at a time; always in the same place; our place-our Sanctuary, as Sam had so poetically named it during one of our afternoons. I think Daniel had a feeling that something was going on between us but he didn't say anything and neither did T.
It was our last day on the planet and we were curled softly together in our 'Sanctuary' and she turned to me, the pink flush fading from her cheeks. She leaned in to kiss me gently and then rested her head against my shoulder.
"I'm going to miss you, Jack, when all this is done," She admitted after a beat of silence and I nodded, knowing that she knew I understood her feelings.
After an hour, we stood silently, dressing and swam back across to the beach. As we climbed out, I wrapped my arms around her waist, capturing her lips in a bitter-sweet kiss. The sound of crunching gravel pulled us apart and Daniel emerged from the forest, smiling gently at us.
"Seems like we have just been rescued," He said and despite the fact that Sam and I wouldn't get to touch, love each other again, I smiled.
"Finally," I sighed and Danny nodded in agreement. I started after him as he turned back towards the camp but Carters voice stopped me.
"Jack, I love you," She said and I pulled her body to mine, revelling in her soft curves and the way her hair smelt. I tried to memorise every line, every contour on her body like I had when we were making love, but nothing seemed to work in making this easier.
"I love you too, Samantha," I whispered into her neck, placing soft butterfly kisses to her skin and she sighed contently. For a few seconds, we stood there, enjoying one last embrace but duty called and we pulled away, slipping back into the military persona's that had kept us apart for so long.
"Shall we?" I asked and she nodded, casting one last look at our Sanctuary before we boarded the 'Daedalus', leaving our week of love, of fantasies behind us.