Disclaimer: Everything belongs to their rightful owner(s). I own the ideas, though.
If it was anything that Puck notices, it was Rachel's habits. Some brought pleasure, some are bloody annoying and the rest are all in between.
Noah Puckerman never was known as an observant person. As a matter of fact, the only thing people had expect him to be was observant. He was a jock that sleeps around, he was the jock that joined glee club, he was the jock that pushes Jewfro against the locker as a daily routine, he was the jock that hated math, he was the jock that had daddy problem- many titles has become his labels, but never was he is called as an observant.
But Noah Puckerman was indeed an observant person. He sees the thin lines, the unspoken words, the awkward moments and the weird behaviors but never did he talked about it. He watches- and if things falls down, he stays silent, unless he really need to say something and that rarely occur. So, he shuts up and enjoy the so-called 'scenery'.
... but then enter Rachel Barbra Berry.
Rachel Berry got a lot of issues. And he means a lot. He even made a mental list about it and hell, was it long!
Her habits, it drives him to the wall!
Gosh, that girl can really turn him into a mad person.
Rachel Berry loves to talk.
She talks, like a lot. She talks millions words per minute. And she never seems to shut up. And her words!
He doesn't even understand half of it! And when she's nervous, her sentences seems a little tad bit longer than usual. And she talks a whole lot more. Can a dwarf-sized girl even talk like that? Is that even healthy? Don't you get like a throat cancer or something if you talk for, like, forever? Doesn't she ever get tired from all that talking?
But she's still look kind of cute.
Even so, she needs to minimum her words from infinity into maybe, 15 words per day. That would totally help his headache.
Rachel Berry loves to fidget.
When she's nervous, and she has no one to talk to, and he's pretty sure she's doing some mental conversation with her brain, she fidgets like hell. Her hands would touch her hair, straighten it, pulling it back, bouncing it, giving it a little touch and she would watch over her dress, rubbing any possible transparent dirt from it, pulling it down and look over it again. And she would play with her fingers, nails digging into skins and her lips started mentioning whispers of words.
"Stop it, Berry," his words left his mouth without he even realizing.
She looks up on him, slightly frowning.
"Stop fidgeting. Keep calm, will you?"
"Oh Noah, you have no idea what I am going thro-,"
He smirked, squeezing her small hands in his giant one, "Now that I am holding your hand, will you stop fidgeting?"
He can practically smell her smile as it grew larger, "Thanks Noah,"
She still look cute while fidgeting.
But she looks a lot more cuter when she leans her head against his shoulder.
Rachel Berry loves to sing
Everybody knows she loves to sing. DUH. Obviously. But that wasn't what he meant, what Puck was intending to say is Rachel Berry loves serenading people. It was supposed to be other way around right? Because Puck admits, doesn't dude get weird and stuff when a girl is singing to him and looking directly at you. And she sings about almost everything! Puck swears, he literally remembers when Rachel sings in front of the entire class when her cat died at eight years old.
And she fucking cries.
With tears and red puffy eyes and all.
So Rachel Berry doesn't just sing, she cry and sing.
She was like freaking Taylor Swift the Broadway version or something. And shit ain't cool, most of the times. Especially when she sings to Frankenteen.
Gosh, that made his blood boiled.
So when they're finally together as a real couple, the first thing that Puck had told her was, "B, as much as I love you, if somehow my brain is wrecked one day and we broke up, don't be like some cliche chick and starts singing off how desperate and miserable you are in front of people to show-slash-making me realize how horrible I am towards you because if you actually did, I will never admit you as my girlfriend. Ever,"
Because when you cry and sing. It ain't cool. Of course, he didn't say it aloud. He'd be like a fucking nut if he says it- he just got this girl in his arm, he was not going to let her get away yet again. No, not again.
Sure, she sends him a dagger-worth of glare, but he continues, "But don't worry though. We're never breaking up. Like I said," he smirks, "It's natural, baby,"
So maybe he just realize why he hated so much to see Rachel sings and cry when she was serenading Finn; It's because that half-giraffe keeps breaking her apart.
(Cause babe, I will try my best not to make you cry.)
Rachel Berry loves to squeal.
It's like, he's listening into a broken tape that got stuck in a car and keep repeating the same song over and over and over again.
But instead of a song- her squeal is what got into his mind.
It's loud, and high pitched and if it gets any higher, his ear drums are going to bleed.
But she usually squeal when she's happy.
And when he hugs her (or rather, squeeze her) after she told him she's pregnant, she let out the most high-pitched (almost like a screech) squeal... but Puck swore, that would probably be the most beautiful noise he had ever heard coming out from her besides 'I do', 'I'm pregnant' and 'I love you, Noah'
Oh. Plus the sex noises, of course.
Rachel Berry loves to argue.
Rachel Berry was a monster. She's not afraid to scream, yell and throw stuffs. And she definitely knows how to function her 'Man-Hands' pretty well.
Just take a look at his back and the long four scars scratches across from it.
But when she's mad, she looks a thousand times hotter.
Still, that crazy woman should really lay off those vases! It's not cheap.
Rachel Berry also loves to chew on her lips.
... and damn.
She should really stop doing that.
Seriously, the list could go on and on. In the end, all Puck could say was Rachel Berry has a lot of annoying habits. Some brought pleasure but some just drives him crazy. The rest is all in between.
It sucks. I know. oh well. hope you had enjoy it. I meant to make it as a high school fic, but then it concluded the future, so now here it is! leave a review if you can! :D Yes, this is a one-shot! Long live Puckleberry!