Lunch was always an infamous time at Heta High School.

It always started with exhausted high school students filing into the enormous room that could easily fit well over two hundred chattering kids. Everyone sat at their designated tables, which were usually enforced by the Bad Touch Trio.

The Bad Touch Trio consisted of three 'popular' seniors that nobody wanted to mess with: Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo, Francis Bonnefoy and Gilbert Beilschmidt.

The whole student body knew these three for being brash, capricious and dogmatic. Gilbert was an obnoxious self-proclaimed Prussian albino who constantly harassed his classmates. Francis was known for being a French pervert who would sleep with anybody and everybody. Antonio was painfully oblivious to everything around him and often went with what the first two decided on.

When the Bad Touch Trio entered the lunchroom filled with anarchy, many people would immediately turn silent until they sat down at their table. Most students were careful; about what was said in the presence of the irascible albino and his friends, as they frequently liked to initiate a food fight. Everybody at Heta High School knew not to mess with the notorious Bad Touch Trio.

Everybody except one Matthew Williams.

Matthew liked to think he was more level-headed than his idiotic twin brother known as Alfred F. Jones. Alfred always called himself the 'hero' and constantly overshadowed the passive-aggressive Canadian. He was always invisible to everyone or mistaken for his out-going brother and beaten up for it.

Quietly, Matthew had bought his lunch (pancakes with plenty of maple syrup) and sat down at a completely empty table. Nobody noticed him anyways, and his brother's table had been filled. With meticulous hands, Matthew began to slice his pancakes into bite-sized pieces. He didn't notice the looming shadow that would eventually be the cause of all of his suffering.

"Who the hell are you?"

Matthew didn't look up. After all, nobody ever noticed him and he could easily hear bits and pieces of random conversation.

A pair of calloused hands slammed a plate down in front of the Canadian who immediately glanced up. His wide violet eyes met with stunning red ones as the cafeteria fell quiet once again and Matthew began to realize the gravity of the situation he had unknowingly placed himself in.

"I said... Who the hell are you?" Gilbert Beilschmidt was not pleased. Not at all. He was flanked by the remaining two members of the Bad Touch Trio who were each pulling along another teenager. Matthew recognized them; the strict student council president and former delinquent Arthur Kirkland and an ill-tempered Italian known as Lovino Vargas.

The Canadian gulped. Before he could speak, however, he was cut-off.

"Isn't he Alfred Jones? The new kid?" Antonio happily asked, clutching 'his' Lovino.

Gilbert's blazing irises narrowed even more. "The new kid? What the hellare you doing at our table?"

Frantically, Matthew shook his head. "N-No! I'm-"

"AH! Is that you, mon Matthieu?" The blonde sophomore stiffened as a familiar Frenchman wrapped his arms around Matthew for a hug (read: grope) after releasing one furious Arthur. "I haven't seen you in forever! How long has it been?"

"Francis... Let go of me. Now."

The intractable Prussian growled, eyes still locked on the struggling to escape teenager.

"Ohonhonhon~! Of course I do! This is mon petit Matthieu, my sweet cousin!"

Arthur snatched Matthew from Francis' grip and jabbed his finger into his kidnapper's chest angrily. "Don't you dare touch me again, frog! And leave, er..."


"Yes, leave Matthew alone!"

Francis pouted. "Mon lapin, Matthieu is my family! You cannot forbid me to see him!"

"Fusosososo~ I didn't know you were cousins~!"

"Shut up, tomato bastard! Fucking idiota! Let me go!"

"Ah, mi Lovi~ I do not think so!" The Spaniard snuggled into the squirming Italian who turned red (like a tomato much to Antonio's delight).

"Actually, he–"

"Cousin or not..." Francis was interrupted and everyone turned back to Gilbert, his voice echoing throughout the room. He was barely able to abstain himself from blowing his temper. Barely. He hated to be redundant, and this kid was pushing his luck. "Why. Are. You. Sitting. Here!"

It wasn't a question.

"E-Eh, I didn't have anywhere to sit and this table was free, so..."

Lovino, Arthur and Antonio gaped at the reticent Canadian and Francis looked worried about his cousin. Gilbert stared. The whole room held its breath in anticipation as they waited for the Canadian's inescapable fate that was bound to happen.

Matthew simply cocked his head to the side, not realizing he had just put himself in even more trouble than before.

"You've... never heard of the Bad Touch Trio before?"

The Canadian shook his head, desperately searching for a way to placate the albino. "No, I–"

Collective gasps resounded and Matthew squeaked as he found himself grabbed by the front of his shirt and snarling in his face.

But before Gilbert could begin to throttle the sophomore, a slice of pepperoni pizza with extra cheese flew through the air and effectively hit the Prussian albino directly on the left side of his face.

There was a moment of deadly tension. Then all hell broke loose.

Growling, Gilbert grabbed his previously forgotten lunch and leapt up onto the table. He then hurled the plate towards the direction the pizza came from and food was flying.

Matthew was in awe as he watched the Bad Touch Trio disappeared under the cover of greasy cafeteria food. He glanced over to Arthur who was watching in disdain with calculating emerald eyes and Lovino who was helpless as he was dragged into the food fight by Antonio.

He was about to walk over to the scowling Brit when he was suddenly grabbed and found himself being tugged towards the exit of the lunchroom and out to the empty hallway. He struggled, trying to shout but his captor covered his mouth. He was tempted to bit the hand when a familiar voice sounded.

"Mattie, it's me!"

His eyes widened as he was released and found himself face to face with his twin's grinning face. "A-Al?"

Alfred gave a thumbs up and winked. "That's me! The hero! Hahaha!"

Matthew stared, uncomprehending. Then, it clicked. "Wait, was that you?"

"Huh? Of course it's me? I'm right in front of you!"

"No! I mean, who started the food fight!"

"Oh yeah! That was me! AKA, the hero!"

"But why?"

"Dude, what do ya mean? I couldn't let my little bro get pummeled! Who would make me such awesome pancakes?"

Matthew rolled his eyes at his oblivious brother that was so... American, it hurt. Despite being twins and born in America, Matthew declared himself Canadian after their parents divorced; their father staying in America and their mother moving to Canada, taking Matthew. It was also why they were so close – being apart for several years caused them to miss each other greatly, and now that they were reunited, they spent much of their time together."Al, we're twins."

"So what? I was born first! So I'm older!"

"By four minutes!"

"Ah, don't sweat the details, Mattie! Now let's blow this popsicle stand and go to Micky D's!"

"You and... Urgh, no. I'll pass."

"Why? McDonald's is awesome! Hamburgers are awesome! America is awesome! I'm awesome! Besides, I chucked my pizza at the freaky jackass that was about to punch your face in."

Matthew wanted to argue (but if he did, he'd end up wasting three hours on a useless rant), but his passive side won.


"Hell yeah! Let's go!"

"I still can't believe you did that... We only started coming to school here yesterday! We don't want to make any enemies, Al."

"Nah, who cares? 'Sides, I need some excitement in my life. There's always a villain to face the hero!"

Matthew felt a headache beginning to form. It was going to be a long day.

One very angry Gilbert Beilschmidt growled as he splashed water onto his face, washing pizza sauce among other various things off. He was usually smirking in victory by now, but not today. "Nobody messes with the awesome me!"

Francis coughed pointedly, attempting to dry his gold and wavy hair delicately with a paper towel. "The Bad Touch Trio, mon cher?"

Antonio chuckled lightly from the corner he was casually leaning against. He loved spending time with Gilbert and Francis. Their friendship had lasted over the years – ever since preschool.

"Ja, ja... Nobody messes with the awesome Bad Touch Trio." The albino corrected himself. He narrowed his red irises in the mirror and stared into them. "This calls for revenge."

Francis was startled. "Against Matthieu?"

Gilbert rolled his eyes and gave his friend a look. "No, the lunch lady. What the fuck do you think? Yes, him!"

The blonde senior sighed. "He barely moved here, Gilbert." Besides, aren't you rushing into this? It's ignorant and stupid to want revenge over something like this…. He wanted to say, but kept quiet.

"Then I suppose he'll be getting the fucking awesomest welcome of the century."

The Spaniard's bright green eyes lit up excitedly, interest peaked. The Frenchman's cerulean ones observed warily. A cocky smirk slowly appeared on the Prussian's face as he tightly clenched his fist in anticipation.