Another beautiful day in Equestria. Twilight Sparkle reached down and picked one of the small mushrooms with her mouth. Spike stood behind her with a small wicker basket, which Twilight was tossing the mushrooms into.
'Can we go home now?' protested Spike.
'Home? Of course not! Once we have enough of these, we need to get to Sugar Cube Corner!'
'But what are these things, anyway?'
'They're magic mushrooms. They say that if you eat these, they can unlock abilities you never knew you had.'
'Oh. So why do we need to go to Sugar Cube Corner?'
'Oh Spike, you don't expect me to eat them as they are, do you? I was hoping Pinkie Pie could put them in her patented delicious cupcakes!'
The two proceeded back into town, with Spike struggling to balance the tower of mushrooms in the basket. They approached Sugar Cube Corner, and Twilight noticed the door was slightly open. She trotted towards it and pushed it open.
'Pinkie Pie? Are you –'
She paused as she saw Pinkie Pie right there. Dragging an unconscious Rainbow Dash by the leg.
'Pinkie Pie? What's going on here?'
Pinkie Pie just stared at Twilight for a second with massively dilated eyes, then snapped to life and said 'Oh, Twilight! Thank goodness you got here. I think something's wrong with Rainbow Dash!'
Twilight went over to the two ponies as Spike entered and set the basket down.
'What happened?' asked Twilight.
'I – I dunno. I think she might have… err… a detergic reaction.'
Twilight raised an eyebrow. 'You mean allergic?'
'Ooh, yeah, that too. Here, help me get her on this chair.'
Twilight went to grab Rainbow Dash's limp arm. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie smacked her across the back of the head, knocking her unconscious. Spike gasped, and saw that Pinkie Pie was holding a revolver, with engravings of balloons in the side. She cocked the hammer with her other hoof and pointed it right at Spike.
'Pinkie Pie, what the hell!'
Pinkie Pie trotted over to the door behind Spike, keeping her gun trained on him, and closed it. She then smacked Spike across the face with the butt of the pistol.
Twilight opened her eyes. She tried moving her legs, but it was no good. She became aware that she was pinned to a wall by the legs. She looked around the room, small and square, with bare brick walls, cement floor and plaster ceiling.
'Spike, is that you?'
'Ugh, where are we? Huh? I can't move!'
Spike was bound to his wall by his arms and legs in metal clamps. Twilight looked to her hooves – each was bound to the wall in similar metal clamps. She focused her magic on the locks, but it was no good. Suddenly, they both heard voices. They could make out the muffled sound of Pinkie Pie talking, and then Rainbow Dash. They couldn't make out exactly what they were saying, but as the conversation went on, it became apparent Rainbow Dash was becoming distressed.
'Oh Celestia! Twilight, Pinkie's gonna kill her'
'Spike, get ahold of yourself. I have an idea.'
Twilight closed her eyes and used her teleport spell to appear in the centre of the room. 'Ha! Didn't think of that one, did you Pinkie!'
'Good, now teleport out of here and get help!'
'I can't. Teleport only works if you know where you are in relation to where you want to be. And I don't know where we are.'
Twilight went over to the door to the room and slowly opened it.
'Good, she didn't lock the door. Listen Spike, I have an idea. I won't be gone long. All we need is a quill and paper.'
Twilight snuck out in to a dark corridor. To her right was a wooden door behind which she could hear Rainbow Dash crying. To her left was a stairway. Twilight closed the door behind her and went to the stairway. She climbed them and emerged on the ground floor of Sugar Cube Corner. She searched the building and found the room she was looking for: the accounting room. She opened the window, then used magic to levitate a quill and quickly scrawled across some paper on a desk. She then levitated the paper and quickly proceeded back to the stairs down to the basement. As she did, she heard Rainbow Dash crying in pain from the room at the end of the corridor. Doing her best to ignore it, she returned to the room Spike was held captive in. When she saw him, he was sobbing.
'Spike, quick, send this to Celestia!'
Spike opened his teary eyes and breathed magic green fire over the sheet of paper in the air.
'There, now get out of here Twilight! Or she'll kill you too!'
'No way Spike.'
Twilight teleported herself back into the clamps on the wall.
'Twilight, what are you doing!'
'I'm staying with you until help arrives. Plus, if Pinkie Pie comes in here, I want her to think she still has me captive. Who knows. I might get a chance to deal with her myself.'
Princess Celestia was in the Royal Tearoom enjoying some quality Flankastrian tea, when all of a sudden, a letter appeared before her. She levitated it and read it.
'Dear Princess Celestia. I believe Pinkie Pie has gone, and excuse my language, bat-shit insane, and is killing Rainbow Dash in the basement of Sugar Cube Corner. Spike and I were held captive nearby, but I managed to escape and write this letter. Unfortunately, Spike cannot escape his restraints and I cannot unlock them. I am currently staying with him in the basement, feigning my own captivity. Below is a quick map I drew of Sugar Cube Corner, the window to the office which I left open, our positions, and Pinkie Pie's position. Please send whatever help you can. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.'
Princess Celestia gasped at the news, then said to herself 'You didn't have to be so formal, Twilight.' Celestia clopped her hooves on the floor, and a pair of servants entered the tea-room with an ink-pot, quill, and paper.
Suddenly, Spike belched out a letter. Twilight levitated it and opened it to read.
'Dear Twilight Sparkle. The elite Special Forces unit of my Royal Guard, the Special Pegasus Service, are on their way.'
Captain Checkyer Corners stood before the room full of Pegasi, all with their fur dyed black, as was the regimental uniform coat colour for the Special Pegasus Service. Corners too was all black, with a cutie mark of a dagger and flames.
'Alright men, here's the briefing,' he said in his heavy Trottish accent. 'The Princess herself has provided the intelligence for this mission. We're going after a dangerous target: Pinkamena Diane Pie, a.k.a Pinkie Pie.'
Corners flipped over the paper on the easel next to him, revealing multiple pictures of Pinkie Pie: pictures of her dancing, smiling, pulling funny faces, hopping, and other mannerisms. The Pegasi all seemed to laugh. One of them stuck their hooves up.
'What is it, Flash Bang?'
'With all due respect sir, how is she a dangerous target?' said Sergeant Flash Bang in his South Canterlot accent.
'I was getting to that. The Princess has told me some back-story on this character, which she says nobody but herself and Pinkie Pie know. The Princess believes Pinkie Pie's very soul is corrupted by Discord, and Pinkie Pie is the embodiment of chaos itself.'
'Surely you can't be serious!'
'I'm serious. And don't call me Shirley.'
The Captain flipped the easel again, the next page showing more pictures of Pinkie Pie.
'Now, Pinkie Pie is an earth pony, meaning she shouldn't have access to magical powers. However, as you can see in these pictures, she has very unusual abilities resulting from the touch of chaos. Rainbow Dash, winner of the Best Young Flyers Competition for performing a Sonic Rainboom, was once unable to evade her due to her metaphysical teleportation abilities. Another documented ability is being able to predict the future from bodily twitches. And this picture, the most disturbing if I say so myself, is what happens when you break a Pinkie-promise. Now, on to the mission.'
Corners flipped the easel to show Twilight's map, and pictures of Twilight, Spike and Rainbow Dash.
'The target building is Ponyville's Sugar Cube Corner. We've got three hostages: Twilight Sparkle, a student of Princess Celestia herself, top priority.'
'Wow, damsel in distress is a babe!'
'Knock it off, Flash Bang! Next is Spike, a baby dragon, and finally, Rainbow Dash herself. According to Twilight's statement, Rainbow Dash is either dying or already dead. Now, here's the course of action: the map says this window here has been left open. We'll enter by that window and proceed to the basement. I want a simultaneous breaching of these two rooms.'
'Rules of engagement, sir?'
'Pinkie Pie expendable. Take no chances, she must be eliminated immediately on sight. However, remember gentleponies, Pinkie Pie has foresight abilities. She may be one step ahead of us at any time. That's the end of the briefing. Suit up, gentleponies.'
Twilight Sparkle was tired of waiting. All this time with Rainbow Dash crying in pain in the nearby room. Spike was still sobbing to himself. Twilight wished she could save her friend, but going in a room with a mad Pinkie Pie was too dangerous to do alone. After some time, Rainbow Dash could be heard no more. Twilight hoped with all her heart there was a chance she might still be alive. Suddenly, they heard a door open. And then Pinkie Pie entered their room, covered in blood and wearing Rainbow Dash's skinned face over her own. Twilight instantly threw up. Spike fainted.
'Twilight!' Pinkie shouted. 'You're making almost as much of a mess on the floor as Dashie did!'
Twilight felt herself losing consciousness. She just couldn't look at the horror.
'What do you think, Twilight? Good mask, isn't it? I've skinned the rest of her too. I'm going to make my little Dashie into a big doll, so I can keep her forever! Good idea, huh?'
Pinkie Pie stepped forward and put her hoof into a pile of ash on the floor.
'Huh? What's this? I haven't been burning anything in here. Wait!'
Pinkie Pie looked at her tail: it was vibrating wildly.
'Twitchy tail? But that means something's gonna fall from the sky!'
The SPS platoon was approaching Ponyville. They were all dressed in dark bodysuits with the SPS insignia on either flank, and were wearing gas-masks. They were all flying over the town now. They landed behind some houses, and looked over at the nearby confectionary shop.
'Check your weapons.'
All of the Pegasi took their submachine guns off their backs, flicked the safeties off and pulled the charging handles, holding them with their wings.
'Right lads, let's do this.'
'My knee is pinchy! Something scary's going to happen!'
All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie's whole body was vibrating. Her Rainbow Dash mask fell off.
'Oh no! Not a doozie!'
As she managed to take control of herself, she looked at Twilight, who seemed to be trying to conceal a smile.
'You! You've done something, haven't you!'
She ran over to Twilight and grabbed her face.
'What have you done!'
Twilight smiled and said, 'you're dead.'
Corners entered through the window and tip-hoofed inside, and the troopers behind him followed. As they entered the shop area of the building, to their astonishment, there was somepony there. A burglar filling a bag with confectionaries. Corners pointed his gun at the dumbstruck pony and whispered as tangibly as possible through his gas mask 'don't move.' Flash Bang went over to the pony, training his gun on him and being as quiet as possible. He went behind the thief and tied his hands in plastic-cuffs, then whacked him across the back of the head with the butt of his gun. As the pony began teetering, Corners rushed over to stop him from falling to the floor and making a noise.
'Will somepony get this bugger off my back?'
Two troopers went over and picked up the unconscious pony, and went to the front door with him, tossing him on the grass outside.
Out of nowhere, Pinkie pulled a large knife.
As she was about to strike Twilight in the heart, the purple pony vanished. In the moment of confusion, Pinkie Pie's knife suddenly went flying out of her hoof as Twilight kicked it from behind. Pinkie turned about as the unicorn tried jabbing her horn at her. Pinkie dodged and grabbed her in a head-lock, wrestling her to the floor.
'Did you hear that?' said Corners as he approached the stairs to the basement. 'Come on!'
Twilight and Pinkie fought hoof-to-hoof. Pinkie delivered a blow right to Twilight's face, whose nose was now bleeding. Twilight fell to the floor in a daze. Pinkie Pie stood on her hind legs and pulled out her balloon-engraved revolver, aiming it as Twilight's head. Then suddenly, Pinkie started twitching again.
'Ear flop? Eye flutter? Knee twitch! Beware of opening doors!'
Suddenly, the door to the room burst open. As Twilight and Pinkie looked over, a small black object flew into the room, which then ignited into a blinding flash and a deafening bang. Corners and Flash Bang charged into the room, and immediately opened fire on Pinkie Pie. Several submachine rounds tore right through her body. Pinkie Pie collapsed in a pool of her own blood, a look of shock stuck on her face, and she was no more.
It was a day of sheer disbelief across all of Equestria, especially for the residents of Ponyville. Never before in the history of Equestria had such a horrifying sadistic murder been known. Twilight Sparkle and Spike were kept in hospital for medical and psychological attention in the aftermath of the events. Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy were also given emotional therapy after learning what had happened in Sugar Cube Corner that day. Two months later, Twilight, Captain Checkyer Corners and the rest of his SPS platoon stood before Celestia in the Royal Hall of Canterlot.
'For acts of bravery, I am awarding each of you these medals of honour.'
Spike went along the line of Pegasus soldiers, each of them with a smile on their face, and handing them medals. But the last medal, this one different for a civilian, Spike placed around Twilight's neck, but she was not smiling. She simply stood there, sulking, as the crowd clapped the 'heroes'. Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy were standing at the front of the crowd. Twilight looked over to them, and saw each of them had tears in their eyes. As the ceremony ended, the gang left the Royal Hall together. Spike watched in astonishment as Twilight levitated her medal off her neck. As they exited the hall, she immediately threw it in a bin.