Who was to tell me to make a choice right there and then on who to choose?
Alec Volturi was a kind gentle hearted soul on the inside, but on the outside he was cruel and arrogant, that was how he was raise. He was a member of the strongest vampire coven alive. He had to be to keep up the image.
Then there was Edward Cullen. My first love. He was mush and gush all the way through. He was decent man. He was over protective when needed. He wasn't always rational about his protectiveness at times but his heart was in the right place.
When it came to their baggage that came with them, that was the easy part of the decision! Alec had killed much, much more people than Edward whether it is Vampire or Human. Alec defiantly had the biggest track record. Alec fed on human blood, that's how he was, so that covered the human side of this record. He was also a part the 'royalty' of the vampire world. The Volturi so he and his sister and the rest of the guard were forced to kill any vampire who stood in there way; or who was a threat to the secret of the vampire world.
Edward was the bunny dieter as Jacob would refer to it as. Edward and his whole coven fed on animals. Of course when he was a newborn he fed on humans, but it wasn't as bad as Alec's record. Edward to my knowledge had killed one vampire and to be fair it was my fault anyway so I don't really count that.
The coven situation was another problem. With the Volturi I got to live in a castle, sure that was nice, but I got to travel, got to see the world. The Cullens, I got my family, I got my parents and my siblings, I had that family structure that wasn't necessarily lacking, but they were familiar family that knew the human me before I was changed. The Volturi wasn't really a family, they tried to be but it was a failure. It was truly a monarchy; the kings, the presents, the dukes etc. I wasn't crazy about it but with Alec I was okay with that. It gave us a chance to not be tied down to the Volturi.
You would think the choice would be clear to go with Edward, but there was something about Alec that was different that made me still think about spending my existence with him. Alec gave me the chance to start fresh in a new book. But with Edward I got the chance to start a new chapter in an already prewritten book and pick up where we left off. Why did the choice have to be so hard?