"Excuse me, Waiter? Waiter!"

"I swear to God the girls at table 3 are driving me crazy tonight. I don't know what the hell their deal is, but they have been calling me over constantly for next to nothing! Last time they called me over, they said they had, 'Forgot what they wanted' and then giggled as I walked away. What the fuck is up with all the weirdos in here tonight?"

"Dude, I don't know. Do you want to swap tables? I'll take them if you will take the table with all the old ladies. I swear if I get my ass pinched one more time by the blue hairs I will lose my mind!"

"Yeah, Em, Lets swap. I can handle getting pawed by old ladies, but those young chicks are fucking annoying."


"Good evening ladies, my name is Emmett, can I interest you all in any dessert tonight?"

"Where did the other guy go to?"

"He has been called away to another section for the time being, is there something I can help you with?"

"Yeah, you can go get him back. It's my birthday and I want him to sing me the birthday song."

"Miss, I assure you that I am just as capable of providing you the same quality service that the other server provided to you, I can even include you ladies a complimentary scoop of ice cream to go along with your party cake."

"Are you Jasper Fucking Whitlock?"

"Uh, No."

"Then you can't provide me the same fucking service that he can. I have seen the kind of service he can provide and if he doesn't want more people to see it, he will trot his ass over here and sing me my fucking birthday song!"

"Look here, lady! I don't give a damn if it's your birthday; you need to get over yourself. He's obviously not performing anymore in case your drunken ass can't tell!"

"Oh yeah? Then what the hell do you call that?"

It took me a minute to realize what I was being shown. Once I did, I wanted to unsee it.

"You stole that. That came from my friend's phone and you stole it. I remember your skanky asses now. You were at the store that day! I will be able to find you. I will have your names and information when you leave here tonight, and if that video surfaces anywhere, I will come to you and what I do to you will make the national news! My dad has worked really hard to make a nice, average life for himself, he has nothing! No money, no fame, no glory, and I am not going to let you skanks take his dignity from him too. I'm going to come by your house and you are going to give me those files. Do you hear me? If you don't, I will make sure you will be very, very sorry. I don't fucking care who you think you are or what you think you can do, I will do much, much worse. He has small children and he loves them, so don't fuck that up for him."

A few years of living with an actor had really worked well for me. I had those skanks shaking in their chairs as I went all Chris Walken meets the Hulk on them. Thank God Jasper had fessed up to me about everything that had gone on after some gay guys had recognized him and wanted his autograph. They had ranted on and on about him for a good 10 minutes with me standing right there in the parking lot, before he finally made his escape into the truck. I was freaked out more about the fact my Uncle Marcus had been the bottom in the deal more than anything else, but I had also hoped that Ed's lost phone had really died in that ditch, though none of us had ever bothered to go check because it had been underwater pretty much ever since due to a wetter than normal year.

"I'm sorry! It was all her idea, I would have never gone along with it but she wouldn't give me the phone back and I didn't know how to get in touch with the owner. I didn't want to lose her as a friend, but honestly, she's not a very nice person and I really don't like her very much. I will get the file for you and make sure it's all erased, okay? Please tell him not to hate me? I really liked his music and stuff, and I feel bad he's no longer doing it."

"What is your name, miss?"

Honestly, the chick who had grabbed my arm as I walked into the kitchen wasn't too bad to look at. She had the whole, nerdy hipster thing going on and I could tell she had been really uncomfortable by what the other chick was saying at the table, so maybe she was redeemable.

"I'm Angela. Is he really your dad?"

"Yeah, he adopted me because I had never had a father after mine got killed when I was a baby. He's a really good guy, so I'm just more than a little protective of him."

"So what was up with the video on the phone?"

"He was desperate for money because he has a baby that is special needs; he was trying to make some money doing porn. Our friend got into a bad car accident and lost that file. It was bad. He's not gay, he's married to my mom and he has a lot of kids."

"Aww! I feel so bad for him!"

"You should, you see what he is doing now. He works full time here, goes to school full time and he's still trying to make music when he can, but it's all just a dream now. If she released that video, it would ruin him."

"Don't worry. I promise, I will take care of it tonight."

"Look, uh…would you like to maybe come back sometime and have dinner with me?"

"That sounds nice Emmett, can I call you sometime?"

"Yeah, that would be cool."

Holy crap, I have a girl's number. I haven't really dated in like forever because even though I have really, really wanted to , and God knows my body has been really really interested in more than a few of the women that have come through here, I just haven't had the time or opportunity, and now both seemed to have dropped into my lap thanks to Jasper.

"Hey Em, What the hell was that all about? Those girls scatted out of here like the devil himself was after them."

"Oh nothing much, Jas, the one was just drunk and her friend Angela was taking her home before she did anything else to embarrass herself."

"Ah, cool. By the way, thanks for the bluehairs, I got groped twice, my ass pinched so much that I will have bruises, and I had to sing for them but I made a c-note tip."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I got pinched too!"

"Aww! Poor Emmy! You want me to kiss it for you?"

"Eww dude, I think not. Come on, let's get this shit finished up for the night, the stragglers are just about done milking their beers so we can head home. You want to stop off and get mom some ice cream or something on the way home?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe if I am an extra good boy, she will be extra good to me."

"Dude, stay off my mom. She just had a baby 3 months ago!"

"Hey! You have it all wrong; she was after me less than 6 weeks later!"

Brain Bleach.


I don't mean to brag, but we got the pick of the litter. Yeah, it sounds a little catty to say litter but jeesh!, Jasper spawned SIX freaking babies? How in the hell did such a small man become soo prolific? I don't really care, he and Bella had done us a favor that no one would ever be able to equal, and as I looked at my squalling daughter, I knew I was the luckiest man alive.

"What is she soo mad about now?"

"Well Carlisle, I think it's because you looked at her wrong, or maybe she smelled Mags on you and sensed you had been cheating on her with another baby, but she was a happy baby until you came in and messed it all up."

"Oh bull! Give her here."

I passed him our screaming princess and in no time he had her quietly cooing and looking at him in adoration. She loved him absolutely and vice versa, she had him wrapped around her delicate little finger.

"Does her hair look redder today?"

"Yeah, I think it does."

"Good Lord Carlisle, we have a redhead! How did we end up with a ginger? Does it run in your family?"

"Well, Jasper was born blonde and had a reddish phase when he was around kindergarten age, and his hair gets redder in the sunshine, so I imagine there is a ginger in the woodpile somewhere, but I would figure that for his father's side of things."

"Well, you know we are extra screwed then, she's going to be a red head and an only child?"

"Well, we will just have to make sure she learns to be kind and polite."

"Uh huh. I'm sure she will excel at that. Are we going over to breakfast this morning? Rose and Marcus are coming over with Brady and Liam."

"Sure, can you get her new dress?"

"Carlisle! What is wrong with what she has on?"

"Well, don't you want her to look her best around everyone"
"Carlisle, she is 3 months old, she drools and can shit up her back like nobody's business, I don't think it matters what she is wearing, she will foul it before the end of breakfast."

"Fine! If you want her to go looking like a savage, then we will go."

"Sweetheart, I am sure she won't care. Why don't you let me hold her while you finish getting ready?"

"Okay, just be sure to comb out her hair so it looks nice."

"I will, now go get ready before we are late and Em and Marcus eat all the biscuits."


What a houseful of people and kids! Thank God we didn't do this too often, because we would need a much bigger house if we did, with all the kids and people all over the place, it was crazy. The holidays promised to be an insane mess with our extended family planning to all descend upon us for Christmas in order to spoil all the kids equally. If they all made it, there would be close to 25 people to buy presents for and feed. I was doubly glad my job was going well and that my boss was very supportive.

Jasper was making me proud every single day. His grades were stellar and while is job was not something I would have ever expected him to be happy with, he was actually very good at it and he was rapidly becoming a popular member of the staff. He still played music on occasion, usually just at open mic nights at a place downtown where he was already well known. He had a faithful following and word of mouth was getting around, so I had no doubts he could easily find his fame again, but he really showed no inclination to walk away from us. He genuinely seemed happy, and driven to continue to do well in school and be a good father.

Rose and Marcus are doing great as parents. It's so very funny to see big ole Marcus with his tiny little babies in his arms. They are still on the runty side and I think it gripes Marcus that Mackenna is bigger than the boys by several pounds, but they are adorable and smile readily at everyone, especially Jasper.

He is a natural with all the kids, and when he is not at work or school or doing his homework, he is with the kids, playing with them or playing music for them and they all adore him, including the biggest one, Em.

Emmett and Jasper have really developed a bond, each of them encouraging the other to try harder and keep a positive outlook no matter how stressful things get, and partially due to Jaspers struggles, Em has decided to go into counseling, hoping to help people to stay off drugs and alcohol with things other than his fists. He seemed to really be fond of his little girlfriend, Angela, that he had been bringing around for the last few months, and honestly, once she quit staring at Jasper all the time and got over being star-struck by him, which was the first time she came over and he was asleep on the couch in his grungy sweat pants with his kids sprawled all over him like he was part of the furniture. She had stopped, stared and said to Em,"Yeah, you are right." And that was the last time she had ever looked at him as anything other than just someone's dad.

Ed had finally taken the video down off the website. We made a nice amount of money off of it and that caught up all of our bills and gave us a nice cushion to fall back on if we ever needed it. With Jasper making decent money working and even winning scholarships that helped with his living expenses, our finances were improving. When he graduated with his undergrad, he would receive his trust and our lives would be set for good. The occasional recognition from admirers was creating some moments of discomfort for him, and after discussing it with Marcus and Rose, it was an easy decision.

Things had settled into a quiet routine for us and with the kids growing fast, it was nice to have the peace and quiet for once.


Well folks, that's it for now. For those of you that stuck through it all, Thank you. I might revisit them later, there is no telling, but there are other tales to tell and these guys deserve a break.