Fenris was pacing, as he usually did when he was alone. Sorting out his thoughts always seemed to go better when his feet were moving, but today his mind remained jumbled. Unfortunately, all his musings were on one man: Hawke. The Elf had long tried to stamp down his longing and lust for the warrior, but each time it failed. That usually ended with him moaning his leader's name as he roughly jerked himself off. Today though… Today would be different. He was finally going to tell the man his feelings, and damn the consequences. However, pounding on his front door brought him out of his musings, and he fairly ran to answer it, pausing for just a moment to unsheathe the sword on his back. His eyes widened as he opened the door, seeing the tall, dark-haired man on the other side. "Hawke?" he managed to choke out, backing up slightly and setting his blade down.
"Is something wrong, Fenris?" the human asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. "You seem a little pale."
"It- It's nothing. I'm fine. Did you need something?" Hawke nodded, suddenly seeming a bit unsure of himself. What was going on?
"Well… See, I have a letter for you."
"A letter?" The Elf asked, raising an eyebrow even as he folded his arms across his chest. "I wasn't sure you knew how to write."
"Says the one who couldn't read until I showed him," Hawke shot back with a smirk. Fenris smiled slightly, knowing that it had been those sessions that had cemented his feelings for the other man.
"So… What's the letter about?" Again, Hawke seemed slightly uncomfortable, even as he handed the sealed envelope to the Elf.
"Oh, just read it. Everything's explained in it. I've… Got to go. You can come to the estate when you're done reading and understanding everything. Bye now!" Just like that, he was gone, and Fenris stared at the letter for a few moments before shrugging and heading back to his room. Sitting at the table, he grabbed an open wine bottle as he tore open the letter, eyes slowly making their way across the page. The script was rather neat, and got straight to the point. Even so, Fenris' heart skipped a beat as he read and re-read the words a couple of times.
I'm writing this letter because I'm not sure saying all this in person is a good idea. For quite some time, I've found myself attracted to you. Even though we stand at two opposite ends of the Freedom for Mages issue, I can't help it. Your strength, your determination, and your compassion for those who have been enslaved does more to turn me on than anything negative does to turn me away. Whenever we travel together, it's all I can do not to just blurt it out in front of everyone and embarrass myself. So if you want to discuss this further, come to my place. I promise that no matter where this leads, I'll keep it a secret.
Fenris clutched the paper to his chest, willing his heart to stop thudding so loudly. He needed to go talk to Hawke right now. He needed to get everything out in the open. As he left his mansion, his steps even seemed slightly lighter, and he couldn't help but smile. Today was going to be a good day after all.
Bodahn answered the door, looking slightly surprised by the Elf standing on the other side of it. "Master Fenris, what can I do for you?"
"Is Hawke home? I wish to speak with him."
"He's in the study with Master Anders." Fenris grimaced as he stepped into the estate. The abomination was here? Wonderful… He headed towards the study, well acquainted with the layout of the house by now. Pausing at the door, he caught sight of Hawke standing by the fire, the healer at his side.
"Thank you for letting me stay here, Hawke. I owe you my life." The warrior sighed and laid a gentle hand on the other man's shoulder.
"You owe me nothing Anders. I care about you, and I'm not about to let the Templars have you. They're going to have to go through me first." Fenris watched with narrowed eyes as the mage suddenly hugged Hawke, burying his face in the man's shoulder. The warrior was caught off-guard for only a moment, before he smiled affectionately and wrapped strong arms around Anders, rubbing his back. "Hey, it's all right. You're safe now."
"Thank you so much. You have no idea how long I've waited for someone to say that to me." Hawke smirked, pulling back and patting the ex-Warden on the head.
"Oh, I'm sure there's a certain- Fenris?" The Elf had thrown the door open, body visibly trembling. Anders turned, fear and something else flitting across his face for a moment. "What are you doing here?"
"What is that abomination doing here, is a better question? You're allowing him to stay with you? What nonsense is that?"
"The Templars are getting too close to the clinic," the healer explained. "I needed a safe place to run to, and Hawke said he would protect me."
"Protect you? No one can protect you from your own stupidity!" The Elf shot back, fists clenched at his side. "You keep that damn clinic open, flaunting your powers and practically daring the Knight Commander herself to raid the place. On top of that, you still see no danger to your merge with that Demon-"
"Justice is not a Demon!"
"All right you two, enough," Hawke interjected, stepping between the two of them. "You fight like an old married couple, just without the old, married part." Fenris sneered as Anders blushed.
"Vasta fas, that is a disgusting thought!" the former slave yelled, shaking his head. He pointed a finger at Anders, whose eyes widened. "You, out! I would speak to Hawke alone." The mage turned questioning eyes back to their leader, but the dark-haired man just smiled and patted Anders' arm.
"I'll be fine, Anders."
"All right. I'm going to head back to the clinic." When he was gone, Fenris turned again to Hawke, who seated himself on the sofa, staring at the Elf.
"Is he really going to be staying here? With you?"
"Are you volunteering your place?"
"Absolutely not!" The venom in his voice was thick, and Hawke raised an eyebrow. Something had set Fenris off, but he wasn't sure what it was.
"Do you really hate Anders that much that you'd begrudge him protection?"
"He will drag you down with him! The Templars will come here, and you… You will fight them."
"Damned right I will," Hawke shot back, eyes darkening. "I'll not let them take any more mages, especially ones I care about."
"You… Care about the mage?" Fenris' voice was quiet, and hurt flitted through his eyes as the human warrior observed him. What was going on?
"Of course I do. Fenris, what is the matter with you?"
"I thought… No, it is unimportant."
"Obviously it isn't, since you burst in here like there was something wrong."
"The mage has your attentions, yes?" Hawke seemed confused.
"I need to protect him, yes."
"And if you no longer needed to protect him?"
"My focus could be elsewhere, I suppose." This line of questioning was confusing the human, but he wasn't sure he wanted further details. Fenris nodded, turning towards the door with a smirk.
"Then I will take care of him for you, Hawke." When he was out of the room, Hawke sighed heavily.
"Oh good. I was starting to think Fenris was going to try and kill Anders. Hopefully this makes that damn Elf realize how much our little healer cares about him…" However, he didn't know that said Elf had other plans. Quickly leaving the mansion, Fenris headed for the Gallows. He would make that abomination pay. He would make sure that there wasn't anything left of him for Hawke to worry about, and he knew just who to talk to for aid in his quest.