"I'm sorry; there was nothing we could do."
Kurt sat at his desk, staring at the computer screen. He had just Google searched his mother's name, scrolling down past the articles about her death from many, many years ago.
He had read all of the articles so many times, seeing the photos of the crash in the side columns of said articles, that it didn't even phase him anymore.
He had been surprised the first time he looked her up, not expecting anyone to take those old articles and put them onto the computer but he was glad they were there.
Every time he missed her, in some sort of odd way, reading these articles helped him… but, today, he wasn't wanting to read them again. He was looking for something different.
Unable to find what he was looking for, he went back up to the search bar and added "donor" to her name, then clicked 'enter.'
Links popped up once again, but this time there was a new one. He clicked on it to find it was a paper from a small town in Ohio- Creation was the city's name- that Kurt had never heard of… He decided now wasn't the time to make a snarky comment about the city's name.
The article was about a man, John Davies, who needed a liver transplant. He was about to give up on ever getting one, figuring he was just going to die… there was no other option.
Then, one day, he got a call. He had to get to the hospital immediately.
He didn't even ask questions, he just went. He was quickly taken back and into surgery. Everything happened so fast he wasn't even sure what was fully going on until he woke back up.
Yes, he had been told, in full, what was happening before being put under the anesthesia and was allowed to decline if he wanted "but, seriously, who would decline to live?", John was quoted saying.
Kurt continued reading, seeing where John had desperately wanted to know whose liver he had received. His doctor told him a name, Elizabeth Hummel, but that was it.
The man went on, saying how he wished he could thank Elizabeth's family. He sometimes feels awful that another person had to die so he could live, but he says "I will be eternally grateful for Elizabeth and her family, for giving me another chance at life."
Tears were pooled in Kurt's eyes. He finished reading the article and saw a picture of the man with his two grandkids. After staring at it for a couple of minutes, he went back to Google's main page and typed in the man's name along with the city he was from.
The article popped up again… and underneath, his obituary.
Kurt's heart sunk. He clicked on it, hoping it was a different John Davies from Creation, Ohio.
The same picture of him with his grandkids was on the obituary, and written underneath was a short biography about his life, including the liver transplant. Whoever wrote it, said that they are so happy for the four extra years they were given with John. They would be forever thankful for his organ donor and they know that the two have met in heaven now, because that was John's wish. That he could meet the woman who saved his life.
Kurt finished reading the obituary, a single tear slipping down his face in the process.
While he was upset that John had died, he couldn't help but be happy too. The Davies family seemed like amazing people and he was so proud his mom helped them. A man got to watch his grandkids grow up for four more years because of his mom… That was something to be happy about.
Kurt couldn't believe how well the search had gone so far. He had found one of three people who had received an organ from his mom.
He could mark liver off the list now.
That left the eyes and heart.
He searched his mom's name again, with the word "donor" added on, just like before, but this time he came up empty.
"Kurt, dinner!" His dad called to him.
Kurt sighed. "Coming."
Two weeks later and nothing. He hadn't found anything else about his mom or who received her organs.
He knew he couldn't do intense research on this… His dad wasn't even really comfortable with him looking this up (which was the reason he hadn't told him about John yet), so he knew his computer was to be his only source of information for the time being.
Another week later, Kurt couldn't keep it in anymore. After dinner, while Carole and Burt were sitting on the couch watching the news, Kurt sat down in his dad's recliner.
Burt automatically knew something was up. "What's wrong, Kurt?"
Kurt turned his head from the TV and looked at his dad. "Don't get mad."
Burt turned off the TV. "Kurt," He said in a warning tone.
"I- I found the person who got mom's liver… three weeks ago."
He was met with silence. Carole just looked at Burt, waiting for his reply. Kurt was doing the same thing, except his heart was pounding.
"Three weeks ago?" Burt questioned, his voice calm.
Kurt nodded. "I know you didn't really want me looking anything up about it until I turned eighteen, but I couldn't wait. I found an article about him… He- He's dead now, I found his obituary too, but I just… just didn't want to keep it from you."
Burt sighed… a very, very long sigh.
He looked over at Carole, who just nodded, then he got up and headed up the stairs.
"Wh- Where's he going?" Kurt asked, afraid his dad was too upset to stay in the room.
"He'll be back," Carole assured him.
They sat in silence the rest of the time while they waited.
Sure enough, as Carole had said, his dad came back, this time carrying a manila envelope in his hands.
He sat back down on the couch and stared down at the envelope, then handed it to Kurt.
"What is this?" Kurt asked.
"A long time ago, right after your mom died, I wanted to know who was getting her organs. I asked around, trying to find out how I could get the information, and finally someone told me that they could get the information for me.
"They worked on it for a long time, until they found the people. They said they wouldn't force them to contact me, but, if they wanted to, I'd probably get a letter from them soon.
"Almost eight months later, I got a note in the mail. I opened it. It was from the man who received her liver.
"I read it… and it was like it opened all of my still-healing wounds and poured salt into them. I was a mess for a couple of weeks, but I couldn't stop reading it… until I forced myself to. I stuck it in this envelope and left it there.
"Then, three months later, I got another letter. This one had a…" Burt paused, clearing his throat. "It had a heart drawn on the back of the envelope and I… I knew what was inside and- and I couldn't. I couldn't open it. I just stuck it in the envelope with the other letter, sealed the envelope, and never looked at it again."
Kurt looked down at the envelope. Suddenly it felt so heavy. Like it carried a ton of weight with it.
"You- You're letting me have it?"
"I didn't want to give it to you until you were eighteen, but I don't think you're going to let this go until you get more answers, so here they are. You'll be eighteen in eight months anyway; this is close enough."
Kurt took a deep breath.
He got up, envelope in one hand, and hugged his dad. "Thank you," He said to him. "Thank you so much."
"You're welcome, Kurt."
After he finished his hug with his dad, he hugged Carole. He wasn't sure why, but it just felt necessary.
"I'm gonna take this upstairs," Kurt said after his hug with Carole.
He got halfway up the stairs when his dad called out to him.
"Don't let it reopen the wounds," He told him, staring straight into his eyes. "Don't let it pull you back. Okay?"
Kurt nodded slowly. "Okay, dad."
Once Kurt was back in his room, with his door shut and locked- he just couldn't deal with Finn barging in right now- he set the envelope on the bed and stared at it.
It was almost like it was some live animal, or maybe this big ball of energy that, if he touched it, it would electrocute him.
He paced. Back and forth, back and forth.
He wasn't sure exactly why he felt this way. Three weeks ago, when he had found John, it wasn't like this. Yes, he had sort of been obsessing about finding the other two people since then, but it hadn't reopened the wounds… had it?
It was just something in his dad's eyes when he talked to him. Something in the way he said "don't let it pull you back." He was speaking from experience, that much was certain, but that wouldn't happen with Kurt, would it? It had been nine years since his mom died, that was long enough to not get too emotional over this… right?
Kurt stopped pacing, put his hands on his hips, and glared at the envelope. "Just do it, Kurt! This is what you want."
And with that, he picked up the envelope, opened it, and pulled out the first letter.
It was the one from John.
He opened the envelope it came it, which had already been unsealed by his dad, and read:
Dear Hummel family,
I am so glad to be able to right to you. Firstly, I want to thank you for everything. I know it must be hard to be without Elizabeth but, in her death, she gave me life and I will be eternally grateful for that.
Kurt smiled, remembering he said the same thing in the article he had read, then continued reading.
I know nothing I say will take away the pain of losing her, but just know that you did not lose all of her. I am not talking about the fact that I, and hopefully many others, have a piece of her with us now, but I am talking about the fact that her spirit will be with you forever.
I know I don't know anything about her, or any of you, but I have a feeling that she was a great woman.
There are so many things I want to say to you, but I will keep it short for now. I hope we get to talk more in the future and, maybe on day, meet in person.
Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Kurt was sitting on his bed by the time he got to the end of the letter. He had a feeling that he would have liked John. He seemed like a very grandpa-ish type. He wished he would have gotten the chance to to know him.
He read over the letter twice more before setting it down beside him on the bed.
He picked the manila envelope up again, pulling the other letter out.
This one had a heart drawn on the back, just like his father had said. He knew that meant that, whoever sent this note got his mom's heart… and that just made his own heart race.
He opened the envelope, not even thinking to look at the address and name on the front first.
His eyebrows furrowed when he caught sight of the paper inside the envelope.
Construction paper, to be exact.
Pink construction paper, to be even more exact.
On the front of the hand-made card was a giant, red heart that covered most of the page.
He slowly opened the card, expecting it to be some sort of horrible joke when he saw the whole thing written with a mix of blue, green and orange colored pencils, then he began to read.
Hello, Hummels. My mommy told me that your wife and mommy gave me a new heart. I know you are sad that you lost her, but I am so happy with my heart. I have to take medicine every day to make sure the heart stays safe, but I don't mind. Since I know you miss her heart, I wanted to give you this one.
Drawn underneath was another huge heart, but this time little tiny hearts were drawn inside of it. Each one a different color.
Thank you for giving me her heart. I promise I will take good care of it.
Kurt didn't know he was crying until he felt a tear fall onto his hand.
He laid the letter in his lap and wiped the tears from his cheeks, but more just fell to replace them.
A little child got his mom's heart… He didn't even think that was possible. He thought children could only get organs from other children… He never would have thought… God, he didn't even know what to think.
Kurt grabbed the envelope to look at the name on the front.
It was messily written in blue ink, telling him that whoever received the heart- a boy, he knows now, by the name- is who wrote out the name and address on the front of the card.
Kurt went over to his desk, where his computer is at, and opens it up. He brings up Firefox, but, instead of going to Google this time, he goes to Facebook. He knows that, if you want to find someone young, Facebook is a much better option than Google.
So, with a racing heart and tears still rolling down his face- something which he didn't quite understand why it wouldn't stop- he typed the boy's name into the the search bar.
Okay, so I must admit that I don't really know how searching would go for this type of thing, but, for this story, let's pretend this is how it goes :) I mean, it is AU anyway, so...
I hope you guys enjoy and, yes, I do have a writing problem :( But I really don't want it to go away.
Please, please review and let me know what you think. I need to know whether to continue or not! Thanks :D