Probably as close as I'll ever get to a baby fic for TIVA.

But it's more about Tony learning to be careful what he wishes for…

There will be two chapters.

OBVIOUSLY not taking place in season 9.

I do not own any piece of NCIS or else there'd have been at least ONE meaningful kiss - on the lips - between Tony and Ziva in 6 going on 7 years and I ain't talking no undercover smooching neither.

Heavy sigh…

The Titty Fairy Comes to Visit

When Tony came through the sliding doors into Autopsy Ducky could tell something was bothering him. The very special agent walked around the room, touching the tables, checking out the x-ray view box which held no x-rays, muttering something about Seaman First Class Rodriquez. Since Ducky had already given Jethro his autopsy results on the Seaman and now waited on lab results from Abby, he found Tony's delaying game irritating, especially since a pot of tea was steeping and would be ready to drink in a minute or two.

As Tony started a second tour of the suite Ducky struck.

"What is it, dear boy? How can I help you?"

"Ducky, I didn't sa…"

"Tut, tut, do not equivocate. Tell me what's on your mind."

"It's Ziva, Ducky."

Ahh, Ducky said to himself. Ziva. Tony's partner both on and off the job now for almost a year. It'd been a relief for all when they'd finally admitted their feelings for each other and made the commitment leap. Jethro'd been royally pissed for weeks when he found out but he'd gotten over it. Now the man had accepted it, if with poor grace, and Ducky had even heard him gently tease Ziva about the difficulties of living with DiNozzo.

Only last week he and Jethro had been standing together at the coffee kiosk outside the office building and had seen Tony and Ziva walking across the quad. Tony said something and Ziva had frowned and punched his arm. Hard. Tony just smiled, white teeth shining, and while still walking had taken her hand, twirled her around a couple of times under his arm and then pulled her close to him as he forced them into a few tango steps. Ziva had shoved him away but she'd been smiling too by then and they'd walked off hand in hand. Jethro had snorted.

"Surely you're not still angry, Jethro?"

"They're a prime example of Rule 51, Duck."

"And you hate being wrong."

Gibbs had given him the evil blue eye and left.

Sometimes you're wrong, indeed, Jethro.

But what was this then, this visit of Tony's, what was it all about?

"I'm about to have a cuppa, Anthony. Would you care to join me?"

"Sure. Yeah. I guess so."

Smiling, Ducky took out two cups and filled them both. He added a wedge of lemon to his and took a sip.

"Just what this doctor ordered. Now sit and drink up, dear boy, and tell me what brings you visiting and how it concerns your delightful partner."

DiNozzo sat on the offered stool, picked up his cup then set it down again untasted.

"You know Ziva's pregnant right? Yeah, of course you do. You probably knew before anybody except maybe Gibbs and how he knew I have no frigg…"

"Yes. I know Ziva is pregnant, Tony. Near the end of her first trimester if I'm not mistaken."

Picking up his cup again, Tony held it to his lips.

"Yeah, that's right. About 12 weeks."

The younger man stared blankly ahead of him, without drinking.

"And…?"

Tony put the cup down again still without taking a sip. He looked directly at Ducky.

"Well, she changed this weekend."

"Changed?"

"Yeah, changed. Physically."

Ducky chuckled.

"She will go through several physical changes over the next months, Anthony. I have several good books I can recomme…"

"No, Ducky! You don't understand. She changed. Noticeably. Physically. Changed."

Tony gulped as he looked Ducky directly in the eyes for the first time since arriving.

"She got boobs, Ducky. Big boobs."

Ducky choked on his tea.

"What?"

"It seemed like it was overnight. Friday night we went to bed. She got up Saturday morning and she had large, very large, very firm breasts. Big boobs."

Tony illustrated by cupping his hands about 4 inches away from his own pectoral muscles.

"It was like the Titty Fairy paid her a visit."

He pushed his cup of tea away.

"I was so happy. You know I've always thought Ziva had a perfect body but these tits, these wonderful, beautiful fleshy globes are so different and so, so, so…"

Pausing, he searched for a word, frowning.

"So tittilicious. And so BIG."

Groaning, Tony bent over, banging his head on the metal instrument table Ducky used at tea time.

Ducky tried to hide his smile.

"I'm not sure, then, why you're here. It sounds like a 'change' you find to be of positive nature. Something you can admire and, dare I say, enjoy?"

Tony's voice was muffled by the table top.

"I want to enjoy, Ducky, but I can only admire from afar."

It sounded like the father-to-be was trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand."

Sitting up and wiping his eyes, Tony said mournfully.

"She won't let me touch them. Says they're too sore. She won't even go braless for me. It's breaking my heart."

Shaking his head, Ducky reached over and patted Tony's shoulder.

"Oh, this won't last long. Her breasts are simply preparing for lactation. Milk glands are swelling and I would imagine it is somewhat painful. The discomfort usually passes after a few weeks although it has been known to last through the pregnancy."

"Oh my god, Ducky! The whole pregnancy?"

"On rare occasions, Anthony, yes."

Tony got up and started pacing, wringing his hands.

"But it's just not fair. She's been so sick, for freakin' weeks, and so we haven't been able to…well, you know. And now she has these breasts and I want to touch them, just touch them, and I can't and it's making me crazy."

Ducky could swear the lad's green eyes glinted with tears.

"Sit down again, dear boy, and let me cheer you up."

Following his instructions, Tony sat back down, defeated.

"Of course, every woman is different and even in the same woman each pregnancy may be different as well, but a common side effect to the hormonal storm raging inside her body, after the morning sickness has passed, is an increased libido. I believe Ziva will be seeking out amorous attentions with renewed vigor within the next few weeks, Anthony. You just have to be patient."

"Increased libido?"

Ducky nodded.

"She'll be her horny self again soon?"

"Well, you'll have to be the judge of that but yes, I do believe there is a good chance Ziva's pregnancy will progress along those lines."

Tony smiled. Actually, Tony grinned.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"I can hardly wait! A wish come true!"

The doors to the Autopsy Suite slid open and Ziva walked in and came straight to Tony.

"Do you not have your phone? I have been calling you for 15 minutes! Gibbs will have your head."

She took a closer look at his face.

"Why are you smiling like a fool? What is so funny?"

"Just something Ducky told me. Let's go."

He put his arm around her as he stood and hugged her but she pushed him away.

"Please, Tony, not so tightly. It is quite painful."

Tony looked at Ducky and nodded toward Ziva's chest and Ducky had to admit it was quite impressive. She had on a sweater he had seen her wear numerous times when it had fit her loosely but now it was tight across the bosom and a more than respectable amount of cleavage was showing at the V-neck.

Ziva shoved Tony back and turned to walk away.

"See," Tony whispered.

"I see and it is a 'big' change," Ducky whispered back and then winked.

By then Ziva was waiting at the elevator.

"Gotta go. Thanks Ducky!"

He heard the ding as he took another sip of tea. Damnation. The tea was cold. He got up to make a fresh pot. He smiled as he thought about Tony and Ziva and what their lives would be like the next six months. Perhaps Tony would learn to be a little more careful what he wished for...