Boilerplate Disclaimer: Disney owns all the charters from the Kim Possible show.
NoDrogs created the twins.
Most Dangerous Game
"What's Sadie Hawkin's Day?" I asked at lunch. "And I think I heard something about a patch dance."
Junior didn't stop chewing his carrot stick, just tapped the device on his wrist. "Sadie Hawkin's Day," the voice of his Kim.7 explained, "created by Al Capp in the L'il Abner comic strip was a day on which girls were allowed to ask boys out, unusual in the nineteen-thirties. Dances where girls asked boys to attend grew into phenomena. Patch dances, in the fifties, required a girl to sew a patch on the boy as a token of the fact he had been 'taken' for the dance."
Junior swallowed, "How's this supposed to–" he started, only to be interrupted by cousin Cat's cheerful call.
"Hey, you could have waited."
"You were late," I reminded her as Catlyn sat down beside me. She looked gorgeous. She always looked gorgeous. There were days I just wanted to shove her face into a plateful of textured soy protein in frustration but in addition to the fact I knew it was a. wrong, b. a month of detention, and c. a world of trouble from everyone in the extended family and the school, I was also convinced she would still be beautiful with gravy dripping off the end of her nose and every guy in school would be fighting for the chance to gently wipe off the offending pseudo-food with perfumed napkins and offer her sympathy.
"Dance committee," she explained. "Working out details."
"Figuring out how to get your hooks in Francis," I thought. He and I had been out twice recently and I suspected the whole 'ask a guy' thing was a plot by Cat to insure she went with him to the next dance.
"Can a guy ask about details," Junior asked, "or would that be giving aid and comfort to the enemy?"
Cat laughed musically. Even her laugh is beautiful and annoying. "A hunting theme," she explained. "Girls have to buy a hunting license instead of dance tickets. You get one temp bio-chip and a tagger. Tag someone with the chip for your date to the dance."
"The Most Dangerous Game," Junior muttered, "Is there–"
"What do you mean, the most dangerous game," I demanded.
"Novel and movie," he explained. "Big game hunter who decides it's more fun to hunt people. My question was, is there any way to opt out?"
"Oh, don't do that," she warned. "I'm sure someone will want to go with you. They've got some kind of null card for teachers and those who want out. The girls who buy the hunting license get EZ Reader™ goggles to see if someone has been taken or is still eligible."
"When do we buy the license and get the bio-tag?" I asked. "And what happens if you tag the wrong guy?"
"Buy the license any time before Friday. Taggers and goggles in the gym Friday before first period. If you tag someone you're going with him, so get in close to make sure you don't make a mistake. If you hit a locker or bulletin board Mrs. Wright may give you a second chip, but you know she'll make you prove you missed a person and give you this big lecture on being careful."
We all laughed. In any competition that didn't involve beauty I was willing to compete with Cat on a level playing field, and by level playing field I mean a competition where I can stack the deck in my favor. "There's no special edge for dance committee is there?"
"No," she answered.
I wasn't sure if she was lying or telling the truth. I felt like I had an edge, there'd be lots of guys trying to get in the way and have Cat tag them by 'accident'.
"Hang around Francis on Friday," I suggested to Junior as we walked home. "You'd take a bio-chip for me, wouldn't you? Who wouldn't want to go to the dance with the best looking girl in school?"
He shrugged. "And get her mad at me? Great way to enjoy the evening, get your date mad at you before you even start."
I hate it when Junior's rational, which most of the time. "You wouldn't mind if she tagged you, would you?"
"No, but I'd rather get tagged by Meiko or one of the Rasmussen twins."
"Meiko's cute… One of the Rasmussens?" Maybe I'd underestimated Junior, he could appreciate a girl for her personality. "Hey, if I can't get one of the guys on my list, and you don't get tagged I'll chip you at the end of the day."
"Better not. Want to know how long my mom and dad teased me for going to the Valentine's dance with you last year?"
"Yeah… My moms still haven't stopped. You're right. No way are we going to the dance together." Junior was more of a brother to me than either of my sisters, which made sense in a way. I asked for his help tagging Francis, but he refused – mumbled something about ethics or something.
I knew mom was too ethical to give me any good ideas on getting to Francis first, and Eemah would give me a lecture on how she had learned the hard way about staying honest. Kasy always had good ideas about being sneaky and underhanded, but I wasn't speaking to her… I've never figured out why Mom and Eemah say I'm so much like Kasy. That left Sheki.
"It sounds like you want me to help you cheat," Shek objected.
"All's fair in love and Francis," I reminded her. "I just want some advice on tagging him."
I explained the process. "So, I'm looking for an edge of some kind."
"Why do you need an edge, I thought you two were dating or something."
"Yeah, but not exclusive or anything. And besides, it's a girl asks a guy thing and Cat might beat me to him. C'mon, you must have some dirty trick from when you and Kasy were fighting over Jason."
"You're talking to the wrong sister. I always played fair and–"
"And Kasy always won."
"I'm happy with the choices I made. I wasn't always happy at the time, but I'm happy now. Ask Kasy if she's happy about her choices."
"You've got to have some advice."
"After that stunt you pulled on me last year I'd have to say you're as devious as Kasy ever was."
Clearly I was striking out on all family fronts in my search for advice. I didn't want to do it, but I needed to know what was going to happen so I headed to the Time Dome to ask myself. I saw a younger me and Junior prepping for a mission, but I ignored me and looked for an older me. I found myself in the break room having a cup of tea.
"Hey," I asked myself, trying to sound casual, "I need to know about a Sadie Hawkin's dance."
It clearly angered me. "Idiot!" the other me snarled and tried to slap me. I ducked back quickly and she missed me, although she spilled a little hot tea on herself in the process. You feel a certain amount of satisfaction when you see that, although you know some day you'll be spilling hot tea on yourself. I was curious and scared about why I was so angry at the question, but the scared won out – she was still holding most of the cup of hot tea – and I headed home. I hoped the anger was acting and I was lying to myself.
Time Cops are allowed to bend time a little for ourselves on some occasions, and by allowed I mean if Dr. Renton doesn't catch us. I was determined that whatever I'd done to piss myself off wasn't going to happen. Could I have tagged Duke by accident? If that was what made me mad I'd make sure it didn't happen.
Friday morning, most of the girls were in the gym. I was happy to see lines for goggle and tagger distribution. I was near the front of the N-P line. If they called us up alphabetically Jane O'Ceallaigh came before Catlyn Possible, and if it was first come, first served, I was golden because she would be behind me.
"Remember," Mrs. Wright warned us before distribution. "Anyone you tag not carrying a null card will be your date for the dance. I will consider written requests for a second tag at one this afternoon, please provide a written explanation of why you failed to follow the rules. Turn in goggles and taggers in the receptacles by the doors by the end of the day. They are numbered and you will pay for them if we don't get them back."
It was first come, first served. I was afraid Cat would use her position on the dance committee to cut to the head of the line. She didn't. I took the large envelope with my hunting equipment and headed for the gym exit knowing I had a long lead on Cat. My lead evaporated when it turned out Mrs. 'The Right Way is the Wright Way' had teachers posted at the doors. No hunters would be allowed to leave the gym until everyone had her materials.
It would have been funny if someone had fired a starting pistol to mark the beginning. Instead Mrs. Wright announced, "Play fair, Ladies, and good hunting."
We all spilled into the halls and raced for classrooms around the building. We could skip first period classes or attend, our choice, but we weren't allowed to enter a classroom under the penalty of detention so long we'd be missing the dance. I skidded to a stop outside Geometry II. I wasn't in the class, but I had a prime spot when Francis left the room. The clock in the hall said eleven long minutes until the bell.
Peri arrived a minute after I did and went into the classroom. I had a moment of irrational panic thinking she would tag Francis first, but I calmed down and reminded myself Zeke was her target. Keisha and Will strolled up a couple minutes later and flanked me. I figured Will's boyfriend was probably in geometry, but asked Keisha her plans.
"I'm hoping for a shot at Justin," she giggled. "He sits two desks in front of me in English and never talks to me."
I was feeling good. Two minutes until the bell and no sign of cousin Cat. Two minutes is a long time, almost an infinity for a Time Cop and enough for Cat to arrive. I got in a position for first shot at anyone leaving geometry. I was there first; Keisha and Will can testify to that. Cat bumped me first! I mean, after she bumped me it was only fair to bump her back, right? And I'll swear on the Torah, she's the one who escalated the pushing. I've got martial arts training. I can take down five bad guys in less time that it takes speed dial a take-out order. If I'd wanted to hurt Cat I could have. But she's still my cousin.
We were still kind of wrestling when the bell rang. I mean; I was in the spot first, right? She was trying to push ahead of me unfairly, right? Will's boyfriend was coming out first, looking to get tagged. He turned and called over his shoulder, "Hey, Francis, you got someone looking to shoot you."
Francis was coming out to separate us. I wanted to tag him. Cat wanted to tag him. That was when the accident happened.
Mrs. Wright is a pain. Kasy and Sheki tell stories about Principal Barkin. I could write books about Principal Wright. "You knew the rules, Miss O'Ceallaigh," she said firmly. "If you tagged someone without a null card, who was not already tagged, you had your date for the dance."
I tried to point out to her that the rules obviously could not apply in this case. "But–"
"No 'buts' Miss O'Ceallaigh. In this case the punishment seems entirely appropriate to the crime."
No sympathy from Mom or Eemah. Eemah even seemed to find it funny. "Wouldn't have even been allowed in my day," she said.
"Do you want to just stay home?" Mom asked.
The thought had crossed my mind, but I'd spent too much on the hunting license to stay home now. "Nah… Maybe I can get a few dances."
"Do you know who tagged Francis and… Did anyone tag Junior?"
"Both tagged… I don't want to talk about it."
Eemah was holding a camera, ready to record my humiliation when Uncle Tim pulled into the drive.
Cat looked as unhappy as I felt as we stood together. Eemah sent a veed to Uncle Ron and Aunt Bonnie in California.
"You look very sweet," Bonnie told us.
Ron grinned, "They look like Kim and Tara getting ready for the prom."
"Not a prom," I reminded them.
"I wish Aaron was there to go to the dance with you," Bonnie told us.
I like Aaron. He's a nice guy. But I sometimes wish Aunt Bonnie would drop the 'destined for each other from the cradle' bit.
"You take them to the dance," Eemah suggested to Uncle Tim. "If they haven't killed each other I'll pick them up when it's over."
He smiled, "Sounds like a plan. Come on, girls."
Mom had to get in one last thought. "You remember what Grandpa James used to tell me before I went out?"
"No boys," Cat and I groaned in unison.
I'd wondered who wouldn't want to go to the dance with Cat. I knew one person, me.