Edited by Sakura's Unicorn who's full of fluffy goodness!
Happy V day C!
Stroke of Genius
by Kaze and Kiba
"Can't she come get it herself?"
Sasuke frowned at the Hokage. Ever since he'd come back six months ago, he'd been her messenger boy.
"Unlike you, Uchiha, Sakura has to work to do. Just don't take all day," Tsunade snapped and waved him away.
As he turned the last corner, Sasuke couldn't fail to notice the long line of shinobi snaking out of the hospital's front door. The line of Konoha ninja wound down the block. Sasuke did a double-take as he recognized headbands from Sand, Rock, and even a few Sound.
"What the hell's going on?" he grumbled. Starting toward the front door, Sasuke felt a hand grab his shoulder.
"Wait your turn, Uchiha!"
"Back in line!"
"Piss off, buddy. We were here first!"
Sasuke didn't like the scowls these dozens of ninja were giving him. Some of them were cracking their knuckles or fingering their weapons. He held up the scroll he was sent to deliver.
"I've got business here."
"We all do. Wait your turn, asshole."
What the hell was going on? Why did all these people—correction, men want to go to the hospital so badly? Sasuke was pissed now, but he wasn't stupid. He knew if he tried to bust through that crowd, he'd have to fight the lot of them and he was already on probation. If it came down to a fight, he'd be back in jail before he could say Katon.
"Tch," he scoffed and left the morons to wait in their line. He was a ninja. He didn't need a front door.
Sasuke slid open the window of Sakura's office and let himself in. 'Block me out,' he thought. 'Hardly.'
He jumped when a loud voice accosted him.
"Whatcha doing, Sasuke-kun?" The blonde sitting on the couch stopped filing her nails to watch the last Uchiha break into her best friend's private office.
"Why are you here?"
Ino smiled cattily and resumed filing her nails. "Taking a well deserved break."
"She's busy giving injections to hot guys, er, I mean, our hard working ninja."
"You heard me, Uchiha. You must have seen the line outside or you wouldn't be climbing through windows. Anyway, unless you're here to show her your ass, you can get out. She's busy."
Sasuke glared at her. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Sakura's giving the yearly inoculations to every ninja who shows up today."
Sasuke was puzzled. Usually, getting ninja to show up to the hospital for something as inane as a shot just didn't happen. Most shinobi waited until they had a real wound since the doctors already had them trapped.
"Why are so there many?"
"Isn't it great?" Ino grinned like the cat that ate the canary. "Some of them aren't even from Konoha. I wonder if I can get Gaara to give me a kickback, too?" she mused to herself. "I could use some new shoes." She lifted her foot to inspect her shiny, purple heels.
"Answer my question."
"You are such a grouch," she grumbled, "I don't know why she still likes you."
"Hn." Sasuke was losing his patience. He turned to find Sakura.
"I told you, she's busy. All those guys are waiting to see her."
"Duh. Are your brains made of sand?"
Sasuke glared at her. Ino sighed and told him.
"Because she lost a bet."
"To me. If I won our bet, which I did, she had to give out all yearly inoculations today wearing the outfit of my choice."
"So, Tsunade offered me a bonus if I could get seventy percent or more of her male, ninja, work force to show up for shots today. It seems the boys are…reluctant to get shots."
She laughed. "One month's paid vacation to the islands of Sea Country with the man of my choice."
Sasuke frowned at her.
"Don't worry. I didn't choose you." Her lip curled in distaste. "The person I selected helped me win the bet."
"I still don't see how you got all those guys to show up."
"You'll see why, once you see Sakura." Ino laughed wickedly. Sasuke felt an unpleasant foreboding as he left to find Sakura.
The waiting room was so crowded, he couldn't even get in. The men wore the same expression on their faces as the ninja waiting outside. Not looking for a repeat of that incident, Sasuke used a displacement jutsu to bring him straight to Sakura's examination room. What he saw made his Sharingan activate without warning.
She jumped and bumped her head on the counter "Ow! Sasuke-kun! Why did you startle me like that?"
'Because you're showing everyone your ass!' is what he wanted to say, but instead he glared at her.
He'd popped into the corner of the room behind the ninja in his shorts, clutching his pants, waiting for his nurse. Sakura, her too-small nurse's uniform riding up her ass, was bent over, retrieving a bandage from the bottom cupboard. In lieu of a kunai holster, she wore a sheath loaded with hypodermics, which was strapped over her white, thigh-high stockings—the top of her garter's straps were adorned with little, red bows to match the red, silk panties she was flashing. Worse yet, when she turned to him, rubbing the back of her head, he saw that her breasts were practically falling out of her top. Her hair was piled on top of her head under a stiff, white nurse's cap and her cheeks glowed red. She was sweating a little—probably because someone had turned the heat in the room up about twenty degrees above normal.
Now he knew why men were lined up around the hospital. He growled.
"What's the matter, Sasuke-kun?" she asked in concern when she saw his Sharingan activated. She licked her ruby red lips nervously and he could hear the ninja in front of him sigh with delight. "Are we under attack?"
The other ninja in the room straightened up, the shit-eating grin sliding off his face at the thought of an impending attack. Sasuke wasted no time, using his Sharingan to knock him out.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura caught the guy as he fell—his head landing in her cleavage made Sasuke see red. "You can't just come in here and—"
Sasuke ripped the man from Sakura's hold and threw him on the table. He grabbed her wrist and started to drag her out of the room. She dug in her red high heels, trying to stop him.
"What's the matter with y—"
He picked her up, threw her over his shoulder, and used the same displacement jutsu to take them to the Uchiha district.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Take off those clothes."
Sakura put her hand over her exposed cleavage. "What?"
"You heard me."
"You're crazy. I'm not taking off my clothes for you, you jerk. I don't have time for this. I'm going back to work."
"Not dressed like that you're not," Sasuke growled.
She sighed. "Look, I didn't like it at first either and I know it's unconventional, but Ino's stupid idea has produced results. More men have shown up for inoculations today then for the last five years—voluntarily."
"Because you're offering them sex."
"I am not! They were perfect gentleman. Not one of them touched me."
"They don't need to touch you when you bend over for them like some horny fantasy girl."
"I did not!"
"I saw you."
"I ran out of bandages. I was just getting some more, you pervert!"
"I'm no pervert. I was only there to give you a message."
"Message?" She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "Well, what is it?"
He handed her the scroll and watched while she opened it—and laughed.
"What's so funny?"
She handed him the scroll.
Give the brat his shot. He's four years overdue. Then you can take the rest of the day off. Ino can take over.
He looked up to see Sakura pulling a fresh hypodermic out of her pouch. He shook his head and took a step back.
"Ok, Sasuke-kun, drop trou and bend over. This will only take a minute."
He glared at her.
She bent over seductively and pouted her pretty, red lips at him. "Come on, Sasuke-kun. If you're a good boy, I'll give you a sucker." She pulled a red lollipop from her pocket and held it in front of her tempting cleavage.
He turned to walk the rest of the way to his house. When she didn't follow, he stopped after a few steps and turned to her. "Well, you coming?"
She smiled warmly at him. "Hai."
Ino sauntered into the waiting room full of disappointed men. She smiled at the catcalls and whistles.
"Don't worry, guys. Sakura's been called to an emergency clan meeting, but I've found perfect replacements. She reached back and dragged in the two women she'd chosen to replace Sakura—both of whom had been volunteered by the Hokage.
"I-I-Ino-san! I d-d-don't think this is appropriate outerwear for the hospital!" Hinata stuttered, blushing bright red in her blue and white school uniform, complete with pig-tails and knee socks. She tugged at the short plaid skirt and shifted uncomfortably—the action stretched her tight, white blouse and the top button popped off, giving a revealing view her huge breasts. The dozen men closest to her spouted nosebleeds and passed out.
"Why? You look great, Hinata. Don't be so modest."
"Yamanaka, why do I have a tail?" Tenten asked, looking at the back of her skin-tight, black bodysuit with thigh-high, shiny black boots. "And why am I giving shots? I don't even work at the hospital!"
"Tut, tut! If I'd been given this duty, I certainly wouldn't complain about it." She smiled flirtatiously at all the hot ninja around them. "Now get to work. Form two lines, gentlemen, and keep it orderly or I'll ask Anko-san to take over for my nurses here."
In two seconds flat, where there was one line, now two were formed—the men smiling quietly with stars in their eyes.
"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"
Hinata's line was shoved far back as one hundred orange-clan ninja erupted from clouds of smoke to take the front of the line.
Ino chuckled, pulled out her calendar, and checked the dates she wanted for her vacation. She couldn't wait to tell Shikamaru about the bonus two weeks they'd get if any of her 'nurses' turned up pregnant in the next two months.
She giggled to herself. Shikamaru really was a genius.
This was my valentine for you! Have a lovely Valentine's Day!