Look Before You Leap

by: muaaimoi

The first time Sheldon sees her he thinks he's hallucinating. It doesn't keep him from looking away the second he registers what his retinas have landed on. Angels aren't meant for mortal eyes, even if he hadn't actually believed in their existence just half a second before. He wouldn't have even believed it had happened at all if Leonard hadn't seen her too. And then he couldn't resist a peek.

Their new neighbor was stunning.

Angelic even. As though some deity had taken every physical inclination he hadn't even known he had, and fashioned this woman out of them. She wasn't perfect of course, but she was pretty much as close as it got.

Fortunately she was very much a mortal.

Though Sheldon couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was supposed to be in awe of her. So he hadn't known how to act. He'd followed Leonard's lead, feeling foolish, but unsure about what else to do. Just looking at her made his face feel warm and this odd, fluttery feeling to manifest right above his bowels. Sheldon wasn't even bothered by these physical reactions. Which bothered him most of all.

He just wants to keep looking at her, bathing in her present as a flower would bask in the sun. And that's how Sheldon knows something must truly be wrong. According to his fifth grade teacher he had all the creative writing skill of a thimble. Sheldon hadn't wanted to believe her but facts were facts. He was no Shakespeare. And thinking in such literally, flowery terms, a clear aberration of the highest order.

He even feels anger at Wolowitz and Koothropali when they come in. he doesn't like the way they look at her. And now that he's more aware of the others existence again he doesn't like the way Leonard looks at her either.

He doesn't understand how the evening ends with him in his underwear at his own apartment. But some how the brief hug makes everything worth while.

He locks himself in his room, pulls out his daily log of social interaction, and tries to figure out just what is going on.

In the mean time he resolves to avoid her. Determinedly ignoring the sinking disappointment in his gut. Had he eaten something unacceptable today? That would certainly explain his behavior.

As it was he would have to find a way to regulate it. His reaction to that woman had been unnatural.


Penny turned restlessly in her bed. She wanted to sleep damn it! And looking at the new stereo system in her living room was not going to help.

Moving into four B was supposed to make Penny's life easier. No asshole boyfriend. An easier commute to her job. Independence. And a side order of sweet, helpful neighbors. What wasn't there to like?

It wasn't supposed to be so goddamned distracting.

Seriously, Leonard was nice and all, but if Penny caught herself admiring the blue of Sheldon's eyes, and wondering how they would look as she rocked his world, yet again, she was going to scream. And possibly rape her new neighbor. And that was a no-no. Penny wanted to become a famous actress. Not a rapist. While she wasn't exactly scared for herself in a place like jail, she definitely didn't want to land in the slammer.

But was it really rape if he wanted it?

Penny could make him want it. She was sure of it.

All she had to do was kiss him senseless. Nibble on that delectable lower lip. Bring his large, rather lovely hands to her breasts and leave them to squeeze at their leisure. Penny would palm him through those ugly pants and he'd be large. She'd never met a man north of five nine who hadn't been packing real heat, and she just knew he wouldn't let her down.


Oh no. No.

Not again.

Bad Penny, bad!

Maybe she should write Porn instead of a screen play. Her mind seemed to live in the gutter lately. And mmm Sheldon made it a nice place to be! Especially with the way he'd looked at her that morning. The intense way he'd said 'I'm here for you'. Penny wanted him here, alright. Right between her legs.

She could see it now, young, exciting actress from Nebraska meets tall, brainy, physicist, and teaches him how to love.

With his coc-

Penny heard her door creak. Shooting up in bed and searching for her bat. A home invasion? But she hadn't heard anything break.

Penny forced herself to breathe, straining her ears in the dark. She could hear paper ruffling and some one muttering. And if Penny hadn't gotten off to that voice not half an hour before hand, she wouldn't have recognized it. She slowly opened her door.

And there was, indeed, a tall, lanky, physicist in her apartment.

" Sheldon" She whispered.

He jumped, Startled. And it had to be a crime to look that cute when Penny could barely see him." Penny?"

" Unless you broke into the wrong apartment, last I checked, I live here sweetie." She turned on the light.

Mistake, definite mistake. Sheldon had his hair completely ruffled, his eyes where wide and panicked, and he'd clearly licked his lips recently. How was Penny suppose to resist that? She was only human!

" Yes, of course you do. You're clearly incapable of the most basic organization. I just couldn't leave it be Penny. You're basically living within a vortex of entropy. And I can assure you there's enough of it in the universe!"

Then Sheldon made the mistake of licking his lips again. And nothing really penetrated her ears through the haze of lust, and just what Penny wanted to do with that mouth.


By the end of his rant, when Penny finally managed to reign in her libido with superhuman effort, Sheldon unknowingly sealed his own fate.

Because when Penny started paying attention to his words again, she didn't hear " You do not want to become a mistress of entropy."

Which was what Sheldon had said.

All Penny really heard was Mistress. And it sounded remarkably like an Invitation.

" Penny" Sheldon said. Noticing that Penny's expression had just undergone a rather drastic change. He wasn't terribly adept at reading facial expressions however, so he didn't know what to think of it.

If Sheldon had been more aware of his basic instincts he would have heard them howling at him move. To take his mate and show her the true meaning of the word. His biology recognized the look of sheer want easily. But Sheldon and his instincts weren't really on speaking terms. So he stayed exactly where he was, puzzled.

Penny smiled, slow and predatory, and began to slink forward.

"Hey Sheldon, you're a smart guy right?"

" Smart is a misnomer Penny, I am a genius." Sheldon answered automatically. Something was definitely going on. But it just didn't seem to compute.

Penny, some one who would serve as a catalyst to introduce Sheldon to his animal brain at last, only smiled. And walked closer.

"Well then I'm pretty sure you know it's illegal to break into some ones home right?"

" I had a Key!" Sheldon spluttered, unconsciously backing up.

They continued this, Penny moving forward and Sheldon going back until his but hit her table.

Penny smiled widened as she fully surrendered to her libido, table sex, score!

" Be that as it may, you were intruding in my house Sheldon, I didn't ask you to come in, I'm a single girl, that's pretty scary you know."

" You have a bat!"

Penny looked down. She did indeed have her bat. She dropped it. She'd need both hands for this.

"Now I don't. And I'm a nice person Sheldon, there's a very easy way for you to make up for this."

" Do you want me to help you clean?" Sheldon asked, hopeful blue eyes looking down at her.

" Something like that" Penny answered seriously, beginning to untie her robe " I'm really gonna need you're help sweetie."

It was game over the second she kissed him. Sheldon's own libido awoke from a long star trek induced slumber and showed Penny what years of pent-up sexual urges could do to a person.

Penny was only to happy to know.


Leonard woke up in the hospital.

" Are you okay?" some one asked, as if from a great distance.

He was fine. No wait-

Leonard promptly fainted, yet again, as memories of the night before assaulted him. Penny and Sheldon having sex on a table just wasn't possible. Ergo, his brain needed to reboot. And remember something that made sense.

It was a good two days before Penny or Sheldon even realized he was missing.


Happy valentines day. Because most of us have a tendency to mistake Lust for Love. But that doesn't mean we can't have both XD

I would love to do a proper lemon of this but I'm late for work as it is! Sorry. But I've always wanted to do a valentines day fic and hey now or never right? Please tell me what you think! Review people!