Author's Notes: I adore Morgana but seriously dislike the lack of character development that led to her evil turn in series 3. I found Morgause's complete faith in her a little strange and reached the conclusion that obviously, Morgana was enchanted. And then...this happened-my first foray into Merlin fic.
Disclaimer: Nothing you recognize belongs to me. Unfortunately.
Sometimes, she feels as if she's waking from a dream. She'll be at dinner one night with Uther and Arthur, or preparing for bed with Gwen at her side and suddenly it will be as if a fog has been lifted. She will see things clearly and wonders why Merlin and Gaius look at her that way.
There have been other times, alone in her chambers, when she finds herself stroking a dagger and plotting the deaths of the Pendragon men. She drops the weapon in horror, staring at her hands and wondering how long it will be until they are covered in blood. She doesn't know why she feels this way. She doesn't understand it.
In these moments, she knows that Morgause has bewitched her. She feels betrayed and alone and frightened because she knows that it is only so long until the fog descends again. Being back in Camelot scares her in these moments, because she knows that if she were away, the ones she loves would be safe. And they do love her and she loves them – she remembers this in these moments. She feels so out of control of her own actions and dreads the day when the fog lifts and she's done something unforgivable.
But they are moments few and far between. Morgause's magic is strong and the pull of it quickly forces her to submission. She is once more Morgause's pawn in this war against Uther and there is nothing she can do about it.