Title: Ruby Lips and Tears
Summary: The Moment I knew Chuck Bass Truly Loved Me...'It wasn't when I sat with him on his office chair, cradled in his lap as we flicked through wall patterns on his computer…' One-shot - Chuck and Blair always. Blair's POV. Fluff/Comfort/Love ... 'only pink lips and tears...'
A/N: You can get inspired from the most random of places and as I was coming back for New York this week, sat on the plane reading Glamour, I read an article about how people knew when they loved their partners and with all the shit going on with Chuck and Blair, I couldn't help but write this. I cried, I was up in the middle of night writing this because it just popped into my crazy head.
It made it feel more real for me to read it aloud, with Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran playing in the background. Let me know if you did this and if you liked it. Enjoy and Thank you.
Plodding through life, not wanting to remember a time before him or even after, only knowing the now.
Without him I was unaware of how blunt and empty my life was before. I may have been unaware of my misery but that didn't matter, I didn't feel a thing…that was until I knew different, until he was dropped into my simply, vague life, making it vivid, insanely complicated and emotional.
I had luxuries and the lavish lifestyle only people could dream of and I loved every moment of wanting for nothing but little did I know that I was just alone in that world, no matter how much makeup I could buy or the materialistic purchases I could make with my credit card; no amount of Dior or Chanel would compare to him.
The adoration that came into my life when he unceremoniously fell into it was nothing short of madness, crazy, stupid, love. Our huge piece of little perfection.
When he was gone I would long for his touch, his strong hands and the feel of his heavy chest against mine.
Pine for his presence even if he was in another room of our home.
Crave for his scent of scotch and cigarettes and the essence he gave to me with just a smirk, a grin, a laugh or even the stern look he would give in his moments of distress.
No, I wouldn't trade it for a dime. Not our darkest hours, not our lightest.
An endless amount of times people thought they knew what this was; knew signs of this love, but truly, no one did. Not ours.
It wasn't when I would lay with him in bed, in between his legs, sunk against his masculine chest as we watched the films he had casually bought for me and placed innocently among his movie collection when he thought I hadn't noticed.
It wasn't when I would sink into his chest, covered in the scented sanctuary of warm water and the bubbles of our porcelain bath.
It wasn't every morning when I woke up to find him watching me or me, waking before him to see him cuddling me closer to him as he slept or when he wasn't there to greet me, the small note he would leave next to my pillow.
It wasn't when we were sat in his office, sat with him on his office chair, cradled in his lap as we flicked through wall patterns on his computer for our living room, our home.
It's wasn't when we locked ourselves in the kitchen one afternoon with the challenge of baking a chocolate cake without supervision or aid from our loyal maid or outside help from a chef who would get paid for such luxuries. Only a print out of a recipe from the Internet as Chuck stood behind me, his arms looping my waist, his head whispering silly instructions into my ear with complimentary kisses now and again against my neck.
It wasn't when we danced all night in our living room after missing our anniversary because our four beautiful children came down with the flu.
It was none of them, not when he had pronounced he loved me for the first time, not when we made love on that fateful night in the back of his limo and not when we he asked me to be his wife.
Not even when our four beautiful children were born, or the day of our wedding and the numerous nights we claimed our love for each other in the haven of our bedroom.
I had always loved him and I knew everyday when I woke up to see his face smiling contently at me that he loved me unconditionally as I did him, and that would never changed.
The moment I knew that Chuck Bass truly loved me for everything I was and who I was; that let me know that I was the only woman he would ever love and I was worthy of his love was the day when he knelt in front of me in the tinged white room; his hands cupping my drenched cheeks; no long brown locks, no eyelashes or perfectly shaped eyebrows, only ruby lips and tears...
When he looked me deep into my exhausted and losing eyes; wires surrounded me and fluid running into my body.
When he paused for a small smile, and told me I was beautiful.
When his touch and eyes didn't waver from mine even for a second.
...I knew he meant every word and I knew even in my sixth course of chemo; no hair, no makeup, no decent sense of fashion, bundled up in his thick dressing gown, that he loved me without everything materialistic that I thought made me a real person.
My doubts were washed away when he kissed me. He didn't have to promise he'd stayed because I didn't doubt that for one moment.
Even when I was too exhausted and weak to move he would carry me from room to room.
Wipe my tears and hold me close when I was too tired to go on.
When he carried me through my darkest moments.
When he shaved his hair off so I wouldn't feel so alone. I was never alone when I looked into his eyes, felt his touch or heard his deep comforting voice.
When my hair grew back and he would kiss my small tussles every morning with the promise that they would grow back as good as new.
It wasn't just our hair that grew back but so did our hope and the thankfulness that he was still with me; that he would stand by me through anything.
I thought I needed clothes, purses, diamonds and beauty to feel wanted, but all I ever needed was him; the smile that grazed his features when he saw me and the butterflies I felt when he held me.
Everything paled in significance against the great love that held us together.
'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.' -Lao Tzu
'What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.' - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A/N: Thoughts, feelings, good wishes, anything is welcome :) Thank you for reading.