The Sorting Hat was placed on Draco Malfoy's head. It had barely touched his hair before yelling, "Slytherin!" Next, the Scarf of Sexual Preference was brought out. It was wrapped around Malfoy's shoulders for a long time before it shouted, "I give up! I can't sort this guy! How the hell am I supposed to sort someone who will grow up to be romantically involved with an apple! Get away from me, freak!"
Draco of course thought the scarf was crazy. Until he sat down at the Slytherin table and saw it. An apple.
I think Drapple is stupid, but this plot bunny would not leave me alone. So here it is.