Here's my second Sherlock fanfiction. It's crack/humor, an area that I don't personally think I'm that good in, but I got this idea and I just had to write it down. It was worth it if it makes anyone smile. :)
Just to point out, this isn't slash. As impossible that might sound, this is canon. Please review! It would make my day. Also, if you want me to write more Sherlock fics, let me know. :)
Summary: In which Sherlock and John kiss, get married and end up on a same bed during one disastrous day.
Story: Lucky I'm Not In Love With My Best Friend
John somehow knew it was going to be a bad day.
From the moment he woke up to a loud crash from downstairs, he had decided this was not a good day. Eyes barely open, the doctor struggled up. Another crash.
John was cranky in the mornings. Usually Sherlock didn't blow up anything until seven o'clock, but now he had started at six. So, when John dragged his feet and went down the stairs towards their living room, he was in a bad mood already. He didn't even bother trying to guess what was going on. Instead, he just sighed and when the room came to view, he stopped to study it.
Sherlock was kneeling next to the sofa, with the safety glasses on, staring intently at the floor.
-What are you in Heaven's name doing?" John croaked out.
-I'm experimenting." Sherlock said without turning his head. There was a faint smell of smoke in the air.
-What did you blow up this time?" John asked, crossing his arms.
-I didn't blow up anything. I'm trying to find out how the mass of a certain object affects the force it is sent upwards. In this case, the sofa."
-So you blew up our sofa?"
-I just said I didn't. I'm just putting small explosives under the sofa."
-Oh, right. Well in that case, continue." John said more or less sarcastically, scratching his head and heading to the kitchen. He took the kettle and after checking there weren't fingers in it like some weeks ago, he put it on.
Sherlock kept experimenting. John read newspapers. In this point, the day had been quite fine.
Then, of course, that young boy came into their flat, offering Sherlock a case. Or begged him to help, more precisely.
John did listen. Something about a secret club that the boy's father had been in last eighteen years. Then one day, he had gone missing. Next day, found dead. Now, the boy's uncle and mother were missing, too. They belonged to the said club, too.
Sherlock wasn't too interested. He said the case was boring and predictable, and had probably something to do with cheating and jealousy. He was turning the case down, until it turned out that the club was stricly religious club called Blacksmith's Dove.
Sherlock's eyes became suddenly sharp and piercing, and he started to listen the boy with an intense glare. After the boy had left, Sherlock sat in his armchair, fingertips together, clearly thinking.
John sat opposite of him, studying him. When Sherlock didn't say anything, John asked. -Is it a good case?"
-A brilliant one. There are some obstacles in it."
-So, I assume it isn't just about cheating and jealousy?"
Sherlock's eyes flickered to John's, and they had an odd gleam. -Do you remember when I told you about Sebastian Moran?"
John breathed out in surprise. The name was notorious, and the way Sherlock said it made it even more so.
-Yes. Moriarty's right hand. Why?"
Sherlock tilted his head and lowered his hands. -There were rumours about a secret elite, that was only Moran's to command. But it had hid itself so well that even Moriarty didn't know where it was, how big it was or who were the members. Only Moran. The only thing we do know is that this elite is in London."
The detective's eyes started to sparkle. -Imagine, John, what could be a better disguise? A strictly religious club that gets new members very rarely? A family business. Or masked to be one. It is very smart of Moran. "
John nodded, thinking about it for a moment. -Alright. So, would you like to explain what exactly we are going to do?"
-Well, it's obvious," Sherlock said spreading his hands. -We have to become members of the club. This is our lead to Moran, so we infiltrate to the club and get information."
-Right." John said slowly. -But you just said that they took new members very rarely."
Sherlock let out a small smirk. -We'll just have to charm them, then." he said, tapping his fingertips together.
-Naturally." John mumbled, rolling his eyes. Sherlock got up and jumped, clearly exited.
-I haven't had a case this good in months!" he breathed out in satisfaction. Then he quickly turned around on his heels, suddenly looking more demanding.
-John, get dressed. We need to get a few things done before we drop a visit to the Blacksmith's Dove. A suit, perhaps."
John did as he was told. When he finally was ready and he walked back to downstairs, Sherlock was nowhere to be seen. Instead, John's phone beeped in his pocket.
Come to the city administrative court. -SH
John rolled his eyes. What could be so important that they needed to go there and wear a suit? Sherlock could have bothered to wait for him at least.
When he opened the door, a group of journalists were waiting for him. They immediately attacked.
-Mr. Watson, do you want to give us an interview?
-You and Sherlock hitting it on?
-What is your favorite type of women?
-How long have you and Sherlock been dating?
-Why did you choose this day?
-Are there any witnesses?
-Who popped the question?
-Tell us about your military career.
-What is Sherlock Holmes really like?
John ignored them and took the first cab available. He was sick of the media practically living on their doorstep nowadays.
Hurry. We have an appointment. -SH
John asked the cabbie to drive a bit faster, as much as it infuriated him. Sherlock could be so stubborn sometimes.
Of course it was just his luck. There were more journalists waiting at the city administrative court. Probably because Sherlock was standing outside next to them. The detective was ignoring all of them effectively, just waiting for John and standing still.
When the cab stopped, the journalists all rushed forward. Sherlock pulled the door open as John let out a deep, frustrated sigh. -I'm telling you, this day is not a good one. The journalists won't back off. Don't they have anything else to write about? And why did I have to hurry? Is there something..."
But John was cut out by Sherlock who pulled him up from his arms and pressed his lips against John's. For a moment, John was just so shocked he didn't know what had hit him. He stood there, frozen. He distantly heard how camera shutters went crazy.
Sherlock pulled a little away, looking down on John. John just stared at him, eyes wide. Sherlock had an odd gleam in his eyes. -Just play along with me, John. Trust me."
Then he leaned forward again, pulling the doctor a little closer. John felt lightheaded. Stunned. Confused. It was insane. More than insane. Sherlock was kissing him in the middle of the city, in bright daylight, in front of dozen journalists.
John was unable to do anything. He just stood there, inhaling Sherlock's after shave and the stupid scent of his hair. Sherlock, however, just placed his hand on the side of John's head. He whispered out -John." so demandingly that the doctor remembered only then what he had been asked to do. Sherlock's breathing felt hot and odd against John's skin.
The cameras kept flashing. For a one moment, John thought about what he could do. Pull away? Explain that this was just some kind of misundestanding. But then, in the end he just did what he always did - like Sherlock told him to. So, as crazy as it seemed, John kissed back. Sherlock became more passionate.
I'm kissing my best friend. I'm kissing Sherlock. Sherlock Holmes. John thought. But then odd thoughts started to surface. He is rather a good kisser. What? How? He hasn't probably had many people to kiss with, if any...
Sherlock pulled him closer, and tilted his head a bit. John just thought, well what the hell, might as well give it a go when we're at it. John kissed now back like he did with his girlfriends, feeling Sherlock's hot breathing on his left cheek. The kiss was rather nice, oddly good, and very confusing. John had never kissed a man before, but he was surprised how it didn't feel even that uncomfortable right now.
Then finally Sherlock pulled back, giving John a quick smirk. Then he reached out for John's hand. He's taking my hand. We're holding hands. Here. Oh God. Right after we kissed. This is not appropriate.
Then Sherlock turned around on his heels, pulling a very confused doctor behind him. They passed the stunned journalists, who just kept taking pictures like maniacs. For once, they were completely quiet and didn't shout out any questions.
Sherlock lead John up the stairs and towards the door. John was too stunned and lightheaded to say anything. When they finally got inside, Sherlock shut the door and let go of John's hand. Then he took a deep breath and started talking:
-The founder of Blacksmith Dove is American. Oddly enough, he doesn't belong to any church even if the whole club is based on religion. The name's William Henderson. I think he is the most valuble information source." Sherlock explained.
John just blinked. And blinked again. He opened his mouth and closed it again, blinking and taking air in, but no words came out. He raised his finger to the air like asking a question, but nothing came out.
Sherlock was now texting on his phone. - I'll get Mycroft to check his backgrounds. The name is probably a fake one." he said.
John was still having the hard time remembering how words were formed. -Sh..." He took one, good long breath. -Sherlock...What...what was that?"
-I said the name is probably a fake one, John. Which means he might be a part of Moriarty's old criminal webs, but it's harder to track him or his contacts if he uses a different name every time. We might need my homeless network." Sherlock explained, and hit the send button, giving a small smug smile.
John was still trying to catch his breath. -No, I mean...What did just happen...outside."
Sherlock lifted an eyebrow. -It's called 'kissing' in English."
John spread his arms. -But you kissed...We kissed." he said, feeling more and more lightheaded. But he swore to himself that he wouldn't faint because of this, because that would be really, really embarrassing. Instead, he kept taking deep breaths.
Sherlock put the phone into his pocket. -Yes, we did. And held hands, too. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?"
-The...no. Sherlock, all the journalists were there, they...Took bloody PICTURES of us."
-Well, that was kind of the point."
John widened his eyes and shifted several times his weight, brushing his eyes for a moment. -But...do you...do you understand that they've been writing about us before...And now..." John's voice faded. He just stared at Sherlock with wide eyes.
-Finally we gave them something to write about." Sherlock said.
-But...we kissed." John said.
-Yes, I know. I was there, John." Sherlock said, and checking the clock frustratedly on the wall. -Now, we have an appointment, we must hurry."
-An appoin..." John breathed out. He put his hands into mid-air. -Just wait a minute, Sherlock. I'm..." But he didn't find any word fitting enough to describe how he felt right now.
Sherlock waited patiently. Then he sighed and tilted his head. -Well, since your verbal input is rather dull, I suggest were moving on. Come on."
Then he started walking, and John had no any other option than to follow him. They got to the third floor. John tried to recover from the previous shock as well as he could.
-Who are we going to meet?" John asked.
-The magistrate." Sherlock replied simply.
John chuckled. -Why? Is someone getting married?" he said sarcastically.
For his surprise, Sherlock just gave a small smile. -Yes, in fact."
John rolled his eyes. -Wonderful. Truly wonderful. And this is why I needed to put on a suit and drag myself in here? And since when have you started to care about weddings?"
-Never. But I think it is required to be present in your own wedding." Sherlock said.
Now John froze again. -You? You are getting married? Are you serious?"
John shook his head in disbelief. -But with whom? Why didn't you bother to mention anything about this to me? I mean, if you wanted a best man, you could have just asked." he said. The doctor felt a bit hurt now.
They kept walking nonetheless. Sherlock sighed. -I don't need a best man. I already have one. Lestrade."
-...Oh." John said.
He bit his lip, because that had really hurt. Lestrade was the best man? It was hard to believe Sherlock would prefer Lestrade over him. They lived together, for God's sakes. But John didn't bother to say this to Sherlock. If he didn't want John to be his best man, fine. At least Sherlock had bothered to ask him to be there at all. In the wedding he had known nothing about.
-You're mad at me." Sherlock said when they were walking. John didn't feel like denying it.
-You're mad at me because you think I should have had you as my best man." Sherlock said.
-Wonderful. Excellent deduction, Sherlock." John said dryly.
-But you see, that's out of question." Sherlock explained. John just raised his eyebrows.
-Alright, Sherlock, no need to be any more rude than you already are." the doctor mumbled, feeling hurt - his bad day was just getting worse all the time.
But suddenly Sherlock grabbed his arm and stopped him. -No. I mean that it is out of question, against the rules."
-Rules. What rules?"
Sherlock rolled his eyes. -Well the rules of the whole 'getting hitched'. You need to have a bestman. Lestrade is, as he is one of the witnesses too. Mrs. Hudson is the other."
-So now I'm not even a witness?" John said, fighting the urge to cross his arms.
-Of course you're a witness, you're witnessing the whole thing. But not an official witness, naturally." Sherlock said.
John just rubbed his temples. -Naturally...Alright, fine, Sherlock. Fine! I'm not a best man nor a witness. I'm just your flatmate that you decided to drag here without bothering to mention that you were getting married and also who are you getting married with." he said, voice raising.
Sherlock raised an eyebrow. -Well I thought you'd have brains enough to conclude that by now."
-You're being rude again, brilliant." John retorted, biting his lip. -Irene is dead, so it can't be her. Moriarty is dead, too. Oops, but that's the only two people you were ever interested or fascinated about. So unless you're marrying Molly..."
-I'm not." Sherlock turned towards the door. -I'm marrying you."
John let out an irritated, almost maniac-like laugh. -Good one. Really, Sherlock. But I'm starting to get a bit sick of this stupid day and your stupid ways of hiding things from me. You making bad jokes isn't really helping."
Sherlock didn't answer, he just kept staring at him with his piercing eyes. -Are you done now?" he asked, sounding almost polite. John let out a bitter chuckle. -I guess I am, then." he said, giving up, spreading his arms in irritation. If Sherlock Holmes was being rude and insensitive, so be it. The doctor was having a way too bad day for this.
-Good. Now that you're ready, we can get married." Sherlock said, stepping towards the door.
John's mouth fell open and he grabbed Sherlock's arm before he reached the door handle. -We? Really, Sherlock? Who is it that you're really marrying?"
Sherlock's face didn't even flinch. -You."
John kept waiting for a chuckle, a twist of a lip, anything. Nothing came. Sherlock stared at him, deadly serious. It was that moment when it really dawned on John, and his eyes widened, the air escaping from his lungs.
-You're...you're serious." he breathed out. -Dear Lord, you're serious." John said with a hoarse voice.
It took a moment when John started to panic a little again, trying to understand what was happening. -You...kissed me. And now you...you want me - us, to get married. Sherlock, would you mind explaining, because I'm not following. We are getting married? So there really are witnesses and the magistrate and everything? Oh God. Why...why didn't you in heaven's name ask about this from me?"
Sherlock was clearly getting frustrated. -Really, John, would you have wanted to be go on one knee? That is old-fashioned and pointless. Now come on, we need to hurry, the next couple will be here in half an hour. We need to sign some papers and exchange the rings and..."
-Rings?" John barked out. He was feeling a bit insane right now. He was almost shaking. -We have wedding rings?" Yes, he was feeling a bit crazy right now. Sherlock looked confused, almost child-like.
-Yes, well, isn't that what people usually have?"
-YES. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE HAVE, Sherlock. In weddings. When they are a couple, when they get married, when they love each other, when they have been engaged, when they live together and are partners, when their families are there and there is a big celebration. "
-Oh, how boring. I wouldn't want my family here. Can you imagine Mycroft being here all smug and irritating, commenting on every brainless detail? That would be awful. We have everyone we need."
-But...we are not a couple." John said desperately. He was starting to fear Sherlock had gotten something terribly wrong about their relationship.
-The media thinks we are. And after our long kiss, they will have no doubts about it. They will spread the word."
-But, Sherlock..." John tried to keep his head together. Also, he tried not to hurt Sherlock's feelings, if the man was really serious about this. John took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down.
-Sherlock, you are my best friend. I like you. I...like you very much, but I'm not in love with you." he said carefully.
Sherlock nodded. -Yes. I like you too, and I'm not in love with you either. Love is boring. Settled? Can we now get married?"
John just stared at Sherlock, unable to comprehend. -We're not in love, Sherlock. So we don't need to get married."
-No. That is exactly what we need to do." Sherlock said.
John just shook his head, rubbing his forehead. -Alright, I'm not following. I'm really trying to understand you. But I'm not succeeding."
Sherlock tilted his head. -We are getting married now. Officially. It's not even that much of a big deal, John. You just sign your name to the papers and take the ring. You don't even have to keep it if you don't like it, I don't care. Or change your name. Or anything. Just marry me and that's it."
John looked up. -But Sherlock...I can't marry you. We just agreed that we don't love each other."
-A lot of couples don't love each other. What were your other criterias? Oh yes. We live together, we're working together as partners, we like each other and we go everywhere together. And being married is quite handy, too. If any of us ends up in a hospital, we can get the information as the closest relative, among other things."
-So, you're doing this because you think it's reasonable?" John said.
-Exactly. The perks of it just come as extra advantages."
John had to take some support from the wall. -But...I'd like to marry someone else. Maybe later on. A nice girl that I'd like to be my wife someday. And I think having you as my husband wouldn't really be helping with that. Also, after the media starts to publish the pictures of us kissing, I think my chances with women are quite small."
Sherlock rolled his eyes. -If it comes to it, we can get divorced. But since you don't have anyone right now, there is nothing to worry about. Now, can we finally go in there?"
John just tried to catch his breath. -I can't. I can't get married."
-It's only on paper."
-Where on Earth did you get this idea suddenly? This morning?" John asked incredulously.
-Yes, in fact. After our conversation."
John just shook his head. -This is insane."
-No it's not. It's reasonable in more ways than one. We need to get inside the Blacksmith's Dove."
-Wait." John said, grabbing Sherlock's wrist before he had the chance to open the door.
-This is because of the case?"
Sherlock looked now genuinely confused. -Well, of course. Weren't you listening? I said they are strictly religious. The whole idea of the club, or the cover story, is that only married couples are allowed. And they should join one day after their wedding. So we need to get married today, because tomorrow we are meeting William Hendrickson. It is a perfect set-up."
John was quiet for a very long time. -So, this whole thing is just a part of the case? The kiss, the marriage?"
Sherlock shrugged. -Most of it. But I still think that us getting married can be very handy in the future."
-So we're not in love, and we're doing this for the case. I can get a divorce whenever I want to. But the media thinks we're a couple..."
-They have always thought that. Giving them 'proof' doesn't really change anything."
-Couldn't you have married Molly or someone like that?"
-I like you. You're not boring. Besides, we will have to be believable because of the club. No one would believe if I suddenly married someone like Molly, when you and me have been seen together so often. We'll probably make the front pages in tomorrow's papers if they don't have anything bigger to gossip about."
John looked at Sherlock for a really long time. He thought about it in every possible way. But after long minutes, he realized how crazy their friendship was. And that no matter what he did, his reputation had already gone. In the public's opinion, they were a couple. They had kissed, for God's sakes, in front of cameras. So, whether he married Sherlock or not, it wouldn't really change anything.
-Fine. Alright. I'll marry you." John finally said, defeated. Sherlock gave a wide smile. John just shook his head, wondering how crazy his life would become with the genius beside him, Oh dear God, what am I doing? This day was really a bad one.
They entered the room. Mrs. Hudson looked extremely happy. Lestrade looked awkward.
The ceremony was short and efficient. Sherlock and John changed rings which Sherlock had bought an hour before. The magistrate said that they could now kiss. John was already shaking his head for the stupid idea, but Sherlock didn't seem to think it was ridiculous. Instead, he gave a simple, small kiss to John's lips.
John ended up staring at Sherlock with with his mouth open. He was certain that Sherlock enjoyed this, being in control. Doing unimaginable, confusing things - being a show-off. Everything for a case, now it was officially proven.
After John had explained their situation to Lestrade, Mrs. Hudson started to cry. She said she was so happy for them. John tried to explain it to her, too, but it was all in vain. She just kept saying there is nothing to be shamed of. Lestrade found it something between embarrassing and hilarious that Sherlock and John had just got married.
When they finally were finished and the next couple already came in, Sherlock's phone beeped.
Did you really kiss John? -MH
Sherlock had a far too smug smile on his face when he texted back. It seemed to be one of his favorite hobbies to annoy his brother.
John just stared at the wedding ring in his hand. It looked oddly natural.
Can we expect a happy announcement sometime soon then, dear little brother? -MH
No. In case your sniffer dogs wouldn't be as deaf as they are blind, you'd know it's already official. -SH
What is? -MH
Have a nice afternoon finding that out. -SH
Mrs. Hudson insisted they went somewhere to eat. They did. Even Sherlock ordered something, but of course he didn't even touch his food. John was still somewhat stunned that he had just married his best friend. And that he had kissed Sherlock and now he was wearing a wedding ring.
When they finally were finished, Lestrade went back to work and Mrs. Hudson took her own cab to Baker Street. John and Sherlock sat some time in the restaurant. Sherlock explained casually the details of the case and deduced dozens of things about the Blacksmith's Dove. He acted like nothing had changed, and it was true of course. But John had a hard time coming to terms with all of it.
-Wouldn't it have been easier if we just said we are married and faked some papers?" John tried saying, one more time.
-No. They always check. They are Moran's people, John, they know what they are doing." Sherlock said.
-Or you could have fake-married Molly. Or even Mycroft." John suggested.
Sherlock's face fell and looked somewhat disgusted. -Mycroft? John, I can't believe you just said that. I would never marry my brother, not even to fake it."
John chuckled. -Well you do have the same last name." he said.
Sherlock gave him a glare. His phone beeped. -Oh, talk of the devil." he mumbled as he opened the text.
You got to be kidding me. -MH
Why would I? I'd never. -SH
Did you really marry John? Is this some kind of trick? -MH
Humor me. You know the papers are official and legal. -SH
Did John do it willingly? Or did you drug him? -MH
He married me willingly. We had witnesses, as you well know. -SH
Sherlock, you have gone insane. You can't marry John. -MH
Why not? I just did. -SH
There was a long pause. Mycroft didn't answer.
Or are you just jealous because you were not invited to our small wedding? Didn't think you were that sentimental. -SH
I'm not. Have a happy honeymoon. I bet you looked good in a wedding dress. You could have at least borrowed Mommy's dress. Something borrowed, right? -MH
Wearing dresses is more of your division, Mycroft, remember? I'll expect you to send us an expensive wedding gift. -SH
Sherlock let out a wide grin when his big brother didn't answer to the last text. Then John's phone started to ring suddenly. When he finished, he started to get up.
-Sherlock, Mrs. Hudson called. There is some kind of emergency in Baker Street. Not life or death serious, but something big." John said. They both hurried up to the next cab and rushed to Baker Street.
Mrs. Hudson were waiting them at the door. -Boys, your apparment is flooding with water. I already called the fire appartment. A pipe had started to leak sometime in the afternoon. It was in your living room, behind that old sofa of yours."
John turned slowly towards Sherlock. -Don' tell me you blew up a water pipe during your experiment?"
Apparently, that was exactly what had happened.
The living room, the kitchen, the stairway and Sherlock's bedroom were all filled with water. The fire appartment managed to pump most of it away, but it was wet and damp everywhere. John was brooding, arms crossed, thinking this really wasn't his day.
Finally, when the fire men stopped for the night, Sherlock, John and Mrs. Hudson were standing in the middle of the badly suffered living room.
-Oh dear. What a mess." Mrs. Hudson said.
-Don't worry, Mrs. Hudson. My brother will pay for this." Sherlock said surely.
John just rolled his eyes. The old lady wished them goodnight and left. John just yawned and shook his head.
-Alright, I'm going to bed. Good night." he said, heading towards upstairs and his own bedroom, the only thing that had been spared from the water. Which was actually the only thing that kept John in his senses.
-John?" Sherlock called.
John stopped in the middle of the stairs, turning his head. -What?"
-The sofa and my bedroom are ruined. Everything is soaked." Sherlock said.
-Yes, well, that is kind of your own fault." John said, smiling a little.
Sherlock tilted his head. -Well, where do you think I'm going to stay?"
-I don't know, get a beach mattress and lay on it?" John suggested. He was just too tired for this. He turned around and dragged his feet towards his own bed, feeling so happy that the odd and horrible day was over. When he finally reached the bed, he just collapsed on it, inhaling the familiar cozy feeling.
For his surprise, Sherlock just walked in to his room. Without knocking. He stopped at the doorway.
John lifted his head from the pillow and stared at the detective. -What?"
Sherlock looked suddenly awkward. He looked away and shifted his weight. -Well, it's not like I can go downstairs to play violin or make experiments."
Sherlock looked around the room, shifting his weight again. He looked uncharacteristically lost and uncertain.
-Never mind," he finally said quietly and turned to leave.
-Sherlock." John said demandingly. Sherlock turned to look at him. John lifted himself up a bit more. -What is it?"
-Alright, as you don't seem to figure it out, I would like to sleep here."
John just stared at him for what felt like a millionth time during that day.
-Yes. In here."
-You barely ever sleep."
-Well, I can't do much else right now."
John thought about it. -Alright. Maybe I'll have some spare mattress and sheets..."
-No. Those are not necessary." Sherlock said. John lifted an eyebrow. Sherlock bit his lip, like he was gathering courage to say something. Which was very odd behaviour from the detective.
-I have no problem whatsoever with sleeping beside you."
John just dropped his head against his pillow. -Oh for Heaven's..."
-Is that a yes?"
-This day. This day has been...First he kissed me and then I married him and then our water pipe blew up and now he wants to sleep in my bed." John mumbled to the pillow.
Without a word, Sherlock lifted the blanket and laid himself down next to John.
-This isn't really appropriate." John commented.
Sherlock smiled. -Why not? We're married, remember?"
For a moment, John had to shake his head to force the assosiatons away. -This is unbelievable. "
He turned onto his back, staring at the ceiling. -This day must be just a dream or some kind of bad joke." he mumbled to himself.
Sherlock pulled the blanket over himself. -Are you wearing the ring?" he asked.
John just sank deeper to the bed and put his hands against his face. -Yes, Sherlock, I'm wearing the ring." He said, voice coming out muffled. The doctor shook his head in defeat. -I just...don't care anymore. I officially give up. It shouldn't bother me anymore what the people say."
-It has never bothered me. What does it matter? It's not like other people's opinions will change anything. No matter what you do, there will always be people who don't approve it. You can never please everyone." Sherlock said from his left.
John glanced at Sherlock. He considered the words for a while.
Then they fell into a comfortable silence.
-Do you realize that I'm now Mycroft's relative?"
Sherlock huffed. -Does the thought of being related to a man with sick burn of umbrellas and cakes entertain you?"
John laughed out loud. Sherlock let out a low chuckle, as his friend shifted a little.
-This is far beyond insane, Sherlock. Do you realize you're now the captain's wif- no, husband." John said. -Or a doctor's."
-I prefer the doctor. Your army side hasn't been that appealing."
-Care to tell why?"
They were quiet for awhile.
-Do you get offended if I kiss you again in front of William Hendrickson?"
There was a short silence. -Do you need to kiss me again?"
-We need to be assuring."
-Don't you think us getting married isn't?" John said.
Sherlock sighed. -Yes, but if you bolt away and look as shaken as earlier today, it won't work."
-This conversation is crazy. This whole days has been. Downright and absolutely crazy. There is a limit of what I can take in during 24 hours. And I did marry you. So please, Sherlock, save this for tomorrow."
They were silent for a very long time. The room got darker and when Sherlock was almost sure John had fallen asleep, the doctor suddenly turned his head towards Sherlock for one more time.
-Just to make perfectly clear, I am John Hamish Watson and I am not in love with you. You are my best friend but I will get a divorce if I meet a woman that I want to marry."
-That was the deal." Sherlock confirmed calmly.
John let out a deep breath and laid his head down again. -Now people won't talk. They will stare at the picture of us kissing and bloody shout about it." he mumbled to his pillow.
-I don't mind." Sherlock said. - It's good that the idiotic minds have at least something to dwell on."
-Naturally." John said to the pillow.
Sherlock chuckled with his low voice. -Naturally."
They both fell asleep in comfortable silence.