A/N: This chapter is a little shorter than the last one, but this was the place I wanted to leave it off at. I like writing for Mr. Garrison…I hope I captured him well. I don't write for him often, so I'm always a bit curious of whether or not I keep him in character.
The B-plot of the story is more obvious in this chapter, and it's another mystery I suppose for now…it won't stay that way for long, though. You'll find out who that is soon, but the person who left the card in Cartman's locker won't be officially revealed until the final chapter :). Enjoy! I'd love to hear your comments!
Mr. Garrison strolled into his fourth grade classroom, only to be surprised to find Butters Stotch alone at his desk. Mr. Garrison stared at the young blonde boy, who had obviously been crying, and groaned internally as he decided he should probably do the teacher thing and find out what was wrong.
"What the hell are you doing in here, Butters? It's supposed to be your recess time," Mr. Garrison prodded.
Butters sighed and stared down at his desk. "I don't really feel like playing."
Mr. Garrison pulled up a chair. "Why not? What's so awful about your life that you feel like you have to come in here and cry about it?"
Butters looked up at him. "Mr. Garrison, how do you get a girl to like you?"
Mr. Garrison frowned. "I don't know if you remember but I'm gay."
"K-kinda hard to forget about that," Butters assured him. "But you were a woman for a while, you have to know something."
Mr. Garrison frowned. "Well I do know one thing. A guy that dresses like you isn't going to get any poontang until he's 40, that's what I know." He stood up. "And do something with your hair for Christ's sake."
Butters stared after his teacher as he left the classroom. Butters looked down at his desk sadly, all alone again.
Kenny and Stan immediately jumped off the bus after school, and Kyle dragged Cartman off the bus a minute later.
"Jeez, Kyle, let go," Cartman muttered.
"What is up with you?" Kyle asked, annoyed.
"Nothing is up with me!" Cartman snapped.
"You almost forgot to get off at our stop!" Kyle reminded him.
"Is this still about that card you got in your locker?" Stan asked as they all began walking home together. "Come on, dude, let it go."
"No!" Cartman refused. "I won't let such cowardice stand!"
Kenny rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up," he mumbled.
"Hey!" Cartman yelled. "You shut up, Kenny! You're supposed to be my best friend and you didn't give me anything today either! I'd expect that from Kyle and Stan, but not from you!"
Kenny shrugged. "The girls would've thought I was lame if I had gone against Craig's idea."
"What happened to bros before hoes?" Cartman growled.
Kenny ignored him, causing Cartman to stop in his tracks. "Fine! I don't need you Kenny! I don't need any of you!"
They all continued walking without a backwards glance. Cartman sighed and looked down at the ground, seemingly in defeat.
Kenny lounged on his bed flipping through his latest edition of Maxim. He sighed contentedly as his eyes roamed the hot body of a brunette.
"Kenny! One of your little friends is here to see you!" Carol yelled.
Kenny lazily closed the magazine and slipped off the bed. He ran through the hallway towards the front door to see Butters standing in his house. He frowned in confusion.
Butters had his coat unbuttoned with a black wife-beater beneath and his hair was gelled. A gold chain adorned his neck. Kenny stared at him for a good long moment before bursting into laughter.
"K-Kenny," Butters began, ignoring Kenny's behavior. "I need your h-help on something."
"I'd say so," Kenny agreed between chortles.
Butters fidgeted with his hands again. "Kenny, how do you get girls to like you?"
Kenny arched an eyebrow curiously before leading Butters outside. Since they were alone, Butters decided to continue.
"There's this girl, and I wanted to ask her to be my v-valentine today, but I just couldn't do it," Butters confessed, looking down at the ground.
Kenny placed a hand on his shoulder. "Give her compliments, lots and lots of compliments." He smiled beneath his hood. "Chicks love compliments!"
Butters brightened. "Like, I should tell her that her eyes are pretty?"
"Yeah!" Kenny exclaimed. "Don't just stop there, compliment anything and everything."
Butters grinned. "Gee, thanks Kenny! You're a real pal!"
Butters ran off and Kenny waved before heading back inside to continue flipping through his Maxim.
That night, Kyle was roused from his sleep to an odd noise. He squinted in the darkness at the door and didn't see anything. He remained still as he tried to identify the sound. It didn't take long.
It was the sound of rustling paper.
Kyle bolted upright into a sitting position and saw Cartman just beyond the foot of his bed with a flashlight, an envelope, and his bag of valentines.
"What the hell are you doing in here Cartman?" Kyle hissed, trying to stay as quiet as possible.
Cartman froze like a deer in headlights. "Well…uh, Kyle…I was just checking to see if you got the valentine I made for you. I might have accidentally skipped your bag."
Kyle's eyes narrowed. "You're full of shit," he declared. "You're comparing the writing on that envelope with the handwriting on the valentines!"
Cartman's eyes shifted around before settling on Kyle again. "Maybe…"
"Why did you have to break into my house?" Kyle growled, his voice raising.
"Well Kyle, it's like this, see…" Cartman began.
"Stop it, don't even start. There's no way you could justify breaking into my house."
Cartman rubbed his chin. "Perhaps not, Kyle. But I'm not going to stop until I find the person that put this in my locker."
"Why is it so important? I thought Valentine's Day was a stupid holiday?" Kyle asked furiously.
"It is a stupid holiday! I just need to teach that pussy a lesson!" Cartman replied heatedly.
"And what that lesson is that?" Kyle muttered between gritted teeth.
"Anonymity is for douche bags."
Kyle was absolutely fuming. "Get the fuck out of my house!"
Cartman stood and backed up towards the window, hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine…I couldn't find a match anyway!"
As Cartman climbed out the window, Kyle glared at the sky. But there was a sudden thud and an outcry of "Ouch, son of a bitch!"
Kyle smirked with satisfaction and then returned to his sleep.