Disclaimer : I don't own Skip Beat
My whole body hurts! I am feeling really tired… Kyouko thought when she opened her eyes. She blinked hastily. She was relieved when she felt the contacts weren't on her eyes. She hated the feeling of it being stuck in her eyes so she had always made sure to take it out of her eyes. She stared at the ceiling. She was inside her hotel room or exactly Setsu and Cain's hotel room where they were staying in Japan. It was dark. She could see the hint of sunlight came from the slightly opened curtain. Her eyes turned to the other direction, kept analysing the situation. Her gaze then fell on the empty bed across her bed. Strange! It is empty… She was still feeling delirious. Her mind was hazy and blurry.
It really hurts! The pain was slowly waking her up. She winced because of the strange pain she felt between her legs. It was a dull ache and it made her feel uneasy. She felt all her body sore and hurt. She tried to wake up yet she felt her body was heavy. She felt a dead weight on her body. It was warm. She turned her head to her right and found the face of the man who had been haunting her mind for these few months. The man sleeping beside her was Tsuruga Ren, her respected senpai. Or was it Cain Heel, her brother? Or was it Kuon or Corn, her childhood friend? She gasped upon the realisation and put her both hands on her mouth, trying to suppres herself from making any sounds. She tried to not wake him up.
She tried to recollect herself. What happened? Why did Kuon… She asked herself. She felt one of his hands on her waist. She slightly blushed upon seeing it.
She sat up slowly and the blanket fell from her body. She looked down and gasped a little upon finding she was topless. Ren's hand fell on her lap. She looked down and she lifted the blanket a bit and gasped. She found herself was totally naked and Ren was in the same state. Her eyes widened in shock. She dropped the blanket hastily but realised that she had to cover herself. She lifted it again to cover her body. She sighed in relief when she realised he was still asleep, not disturbed at all by her action. She tried to remember what made her and him end in one bed and sleeping naked side by side in such an intimate setting.
The memory of their passionate night came into her mind. She stiffened. The strange pain and how all her body hurt confirmed as a result from previous night activity. She could also see their clothes scattered around the floor, near the bed. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt all her body getting hot. She remembered the feeling of him invading her whole body. His touches, his kisses, his gentle eyes when he looked at her, the way he smiled to her, his husky voice when he called out her name, and the way he moved inside her and gave her the physical pleasure she never knew. It was real and she felt her tears threatened to fall. She didn't need to check anything more. She remembered it clearly. They were into their 'game' and went all the way.
She tried to compose herself. I actually… did 'that' with him? She looked down at the sleeping man. He looked peaceful. She smiled. He looks so cute sleeping like this. I like his blond hair, it looks so soft and... She was tempted to lean down and kiss him before she realised what she was trying to do. She gasped in horror. What the hell happened to me? I actually thought of him as cute and was tempted to kiss him…is it the role or me? I'm a Japanese delicate maiden for God's sake. I can't believe I did that and with Kuon… I've broken the vow. I'm so dirty…I actually gave in into temptation? What had come into me? I can never get married… She screamed inwardly. She felt ashamed of what she had done.
Calm down, Kyouko! She tried to comfort herself. She sat still and pondered. Her head started to thump painfully. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to remember but she couldn't help the thought running inside her head. Her eyes started to feel teary. And finally her tears fell freely down her face. No! I wasn't playing the role. It was me! It was me, not the role. I love him but… he isn't for me… I had sworn off love but why do I have to fall for such a man? He is too good to be true for me. He can have any woman he wants. Maybe I am just another woman for him. I'm so stupid. He already got that high school girl he likes. I can't ruin their relationship. Her tears dripped onto the blanket. She wiped her tears and tried desperately to calm herself down.
She leant against the headboard. She stared down at him. She wanted to leave and at the same time wanted to stay. She wanted to scream. She wanted to drown herself for her stupidity, for her naivety, and for her vulnerability. She sat still. I don't regret it. I don't but why do I feel so hurt?
She thought back to their days for these months. She felt herself get closer to him. He had been more open to her after that fateful night. It was the night where she sneaked out the room just because she couldn't sleep. She went out to buy the breakfast and was surprised when he appeared before her, wrapped in white large blanket. She was scared as hell at first. She thought of him as ghost or some scary things. She stood frozen when he asked her to come to his arm. She was hesitant but obliged at last, after considering Cain and Setsu's relationship nature. They were touchy feely. She thought of it as abnormal at first, but that was Heel siblings therefore it was normal. She ended up in one bed with him and couldn't sleep at all. She felt it was a usual thing after she slept on the same bed with him whenever he had nightmares. He was in vulnerable state after all.
She was also confused by his strange behaviour and requests. He had asked her not to wear revealing clothes. He said that it wasn't because she didn't match the clothes. She didn't understand him at all. It was to Setsu's 'liking' and it was supposedly her trademark as well. She knew that he had been hiding something. He had actually told her about himself bit by bit. She was surprised by how he was opening himself to her. There hadn't been any information about it anywhere. She felt happy that he trusted her. He told her that she was a perfect talisman for him. She didn't understand. He never really explained what he meant. The perfect talisman… It was something he and shachou had said about her.
She wrapped herself, pulling the blanket more to cover her whole body. She still felt cold. She yearned for his warmth just like the last night but too scared to get close. She was afraid that he would hate her after he woke up.
"Kyouko…" Ren muttered out her name.
She froze. Did he just… call my name? Is he still playing his role? In his sleep…? She said to herself incredulously. She laughed silently. No wonder he can be the best actor for these years. He even acts in his sleep. He played the role really well. I almost believe him when he said he loved me. He can play anything. Director Shingai told me that he could make a woman fall in love with him if he wanted to. No way would he love me. On top of that, he's got someone he likes. I'm just a replacement… even though I am half hoping that what he'd said was true. It was just a game between us.
She felt his hand searching for something and when his hand found her hand, he gripped her hand tightly. He smiled with his eyes still closed. She smiled at the sight and she couldn't help the feeling of sadness invading her sense. Her tears rolled down her face once more. She thought back to his secrets she knew from him as herself, the secrets which had surprised her to no end. And that time, she wasn't Bou. She was herself, Mogami Kyouko. She never thought that he was someone from her past, someone she cherished so much, someone who had become the man she loved, someone who had blown up the locks countless times, someone who opened the Pandora box that kept her feeling of love. She laughed ironically. She had never thought that one day the box would be opened completely and crushed her heart to pieces. She had just realised her true feeling toward him yet she had to give up. If only they didn't play the game.
And it started with…
A/N : I apologise for the dark beginning. But you really have to read the next chap to find out more and eventually will get to the idea of this prologue. Next chapters will be flashbacks till it go back to the timeline in prologue. Inspired by the same manga called "Gokko". Gokko = Game of make-believe