Edit - 4/25/2021
My Ao3 reupload is finally done. I added some HTML styling to the fic, which took extra time and I had an extremely busy week with uni work so it was a little delayed. My account name is the same as this one but with underscores instead of dashes (saske_is_my_yaoi_kismesis). I'm now abandoning this site for good.
Foreword Edit - 4/13/2021
If you are reading this fic for the first time, please know that I have grown significantly as a person and my values are barely reflected in the contents of this story. I don't remember what exactly the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back was, but a lot of the comments I received on my deviantArt in 2013/2014 made me lose interest in participating in fandom. I wrote the final few chapters of this fic around that time, but felt anxious about publishing to what felt like a crowd that was empty sans a few weirdly passionate hecklers. For the most part, this fic has been a dark stain on my past that I only really acknowledged when I wanted to hate myself.
Recently, while cleaning out my house, I happened to come across the hard drive I backed this fic up on. I reread the story, and while it's still hot garbage, I'm able to see it in a different light than I did as a middle schooler writing it and as a high schooler forcing myself to look at dramatic readings and other goofs on it. For one thing, seeing someone draw a giant middle finger aimed at me while an enraged Karkat cosplayer read the fic at a con definitely stung as an insecure teenager. Years later though, I think I can appreciate it. Cutting myself from fandom gave me the chance to reflect and grow.
I get that what made this fic "fun" for people to read was how unbelievably bad it was, and now I can honestly appreciate it in that sense too. I figured that since 4/13 was coming up, I might as well come back, put this thing to rest, and roll out the last few chapters. I will try to move this to Ao3 once my account clears through (I know basically nothing about fandom culture nowadays and didn't realize you had to get on an invitation list to sign up and only got on it a few days ago). So that both uploads are moving at the same pace, I'm going to publish only Chapter 15 here until I figure out if Ao3 needs me to do any other legwork before posting. Best case scenario, you can read the whole fic next week.
I'm also working on an epilogue to TAFALS in my spare time (while stuck at home, if you will). The epilogue will bear no resemblance to its predecessor. The source material itself, not just in spite of but because of its myriad flaws, will be important to the sequel. Despite the fandom apparently being just as much of a hellish dumpster fire as it was a decade ago, my nostalgia for Homestuck has been rekindled by the post-canon era. So, I figured: why the hell not give myself a shot at writing my own "Homestuck Epilogues."
If anyone from the good ol' days that I would recognize wants to say hi or ask me anything, feel free to reach out to me on deviantArt until I post my Ao3 on my profile and DA page. I don't want to be associated with "saske-is-my-yaoi-kismesis" (my real name is not Anumi or Hannah or "Saske" either, if that was not clear), so please keep that in mind when asking me questions.
Final note: since I was dealing with a lot of stupid internalized bullshit and also wanted to make the story more "dramatic" and "serious", there's a lot of needless and poorly handled homophobia, racism, sexual assault, rape, and transphobia in this story. If you find any of these topics triggering or disturbing, I strongly caution you to not read this fic.
Tarvos and Fairie
A Love Story ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
EDIT: Okay SO I decdided to edit some of my Chapters because TO MANY people are COMPLANING that they can't read it. BUT IF you CAN'T even READ why do you even BOTHER and how do you even tolerate to SURVIVE the tumultuous twisting throes of the titular INTERNET? ! ? UGGHH whatever. And ALSO I ADMIT I was being kinda lazy when I wrote this but I still want to keep it for nostalgical purposes and to check my improvement in writing so I will keep it at the bottom of the edited edition. So yeah hopefully it makes alot more sence now and its now more detailed like a legit ligature of literature! Also stop giving MEAN comments this is my very first fanfic and I would APRECIATE IT if you guys can all just give GOOD CRITICIM so I can actully improve GOD! ! ! But ANWAY here it is the new (and BETTER!) verson!
ENCHANCED EDITION COMMENCE INITIATION! ! ! :
Hello, my name is Tarvos Nitram and this is a story charting an epic quest of love, gained, love lost, adventures, depression, strife, murder, hilarity, even rape, and, misery, and a plethoric multitude of more. It starts dilatorily and humblely but it raggedly culminates to the very single fate of the WORLD (AN: LIKE ACT 1-6 OF HOMETSTUCK!)and I fall in love with and I met a lovely impress named Fefiri Pixies, whom is my distined lover and we are both very cute and kawaii together. I was a low orange blood troll whom was born in a hive with my lusus-pet Tinkerbell which I named after a char in my fave anime PITA PAN NO BOUKEN (I just call her tinky though) and mostly everyday here in Alternia was kind of boring, especially because no one really shares the same hobies as me. Its also kinda depressing because I'm a cripple and no one really likes me and they all try to hurt me. I FLARP everyday in my room alone and theres nothing else to do but on my computer. I sighed in a angsty streaming steam of sultry swirling sadness. I thought that nothing could ever change and I was losing all hope. But then that one faithful day everything changed … DUN DUN DUN! ! Here goes!
Chapter One: Under Da SEAAAA~!
(Cue Persterchum log)
AdiosTorador began to pester CuddlefishColor (CC)
AT: uH, hEY I THINK YOUR SORT OF, uH,… ATTRACTIVE,
AT: cAN WE, HANG OUT? };)
CC: EEE- - -EW YOU CR- - -EEP! Whom is THIS- - - E?! 38(
AT: rEMEMBER, mE? iTS, uH, TAVROS!
CC: Ohhh…You again…
AT: bUT, rEMEBMER WHEN WE USED TO BE ALL, rOMANIC,? Oi MISS WHAT WE HAD,!
CC: Oh Y- - - EAH you were that ANNOY- - -EING one WER- - -ENT YOU?! 80
CC: I HAT- - -E THAT GUY! 38I
AT: sO, uH, ARE YOU SAYING YOU, uH, WHANT TO BE KISMESISISES?
CC: uh, TRAVOS- - -E NO! 8o
AT: bUT JUST, rEMEMBEMER! FAIRIE YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, uH, aLL THE GOOD TIMES, wE HAD!
AT: yOUR MAKING ME, cRY, };(
CC:AWW- - E! I feel BAD- - -E! 38(
CC: You know what? Your sadness and cuteness is actully very KAWAII- - -E!
CC: I'm kinda DRAWN- - -E to you even thought your a such a WOOBI- - -E! *blushes*
AT: oH, mY, I, uH, lOVE YOU BABAY~ };)
CC: Soooo S- - -EKUSHI~ 38*
AT: cAN, I, uH, cALL YOU, fAIRIE?
CC: AWWW- - -E WHY Y- - -ESSS! Thasts SO KAWAII (CUTE!)
CC: I THINK- - -E I LOVE you TAVROS- - -E~!
This sudden news was came as a rapid shock to me. My fingers initiated to convulse rapidly, and perspiration driped down my metoposcopy. My countenance was bright orangne blushning, and I just didn't know WHAT to DO! My thoughts were exclusively interspersed and I wanted to be all flushed red romantic to her, and since because maybe she would be my matesprite! But I just didnt now how to come on! So I did what my best friend and moiral taught me was best since cause maybey it could help me to comprehend my genuinest rapaciousness. This called for a desperative motivation!
AT: *bees smexy Gamzee mode* hEy, uH, bABBY, uH, dO yOU wAnT tO gO oVeR tO mY, hIVE? !
CC: Oh MY- - -E what a smexy GENTLEMAN! 38DDD
CC: Maybey we can… Fill BUCKETS! ! ! 3;)
(CC) CuddlefishColor has left
(AN: NOW what will happen! ! !)
Tarvos was very egregiously galvanized at the prospect of a au courant courtship however, it felt as if maybe Feferi was maybe going to fill bucket to soon! ! ! Was he too young tp be giving himself upto his precious little Fairie? ! But NOW Tarvos knew what he must have todo! SO he asked for parent permission first of course!
"uH, tINKY, I HAVE TO SEE A, eR, fRIEND, sO, uH, cAN I GO UNDERWATER?"
But unfortunateley! it turned out that Tinklerbell knew about the CHAT since because HE SAW IT as it was HAPPENING! ! "Your LYING your going to see the IMPRESS! ! !" Tinkywink screamed in horrorterror.
"aND, wHY CANT I DO THAT, , , i LOVE HER WITH ALL MY MIGHT, , , !" Tavros belted out passionately with all his strife. Tinkerbell simply shook his head in dismay and impassiveness. He continued to talk balk
"But a lowblood cannot descent into adultation and romance with the pre-Condensce! I donot condone this wretchedly warped wantonly wickedly wayward! behavior! You are GROUNDED for your incompetent disobedience! GROUNDED!" he repititioned curtly and scarily. But Tarvos decdided not to follow his parents advise so he grabbed his scuba gears and dived underwater before Tinkerbell could even say "HEY STOP THAT! ! !" which he actually made an attempt to do that but didnt succeeded.
Superiorly elevated up against and by the cerulean sea where the many breeds of vertebraetic sub-tropical, flamboyantly colorful sassy fish (AN: LIKE SASSY GAY ERIDAN Get it? ! ! ). Each individual creature containsed rectified fins that gracefully fluttered against the hydrogen dioxide bubbley foam; and decadently divinely dashingly delicately deluged against the profound, unfathomable, truthful brinies; possessing each and every shimmering spectral hue that resides in the object created by the light produced from the eternally glowing ball of light; and the dripping, coruscating liquids that descend from the grey, depressed clouds, known as a "rainbow." As I, THE future legend Tarvos Nitram, circulately rotated my two limbs in a spiraling fashion in order to propel myself swiftly and and daintily and dauntingly and through the glowing sapphire ocean, I confronted thousands of diversified species of undiscovered Alternian aquatic life.
Once Tarvos found the door; and he opened it… "hI FAIRIE, iM, uH, hERE!" he beckoned perilously out load. But it was already too late. Even the boucket of flowers he bought from the flower seller earlier that day had vindictingly been dropped on the ground manacingly from the initial shock. He saw something he did NOT like ONE BIT: SKRILLEX WAS WITH FAFERI ON THE BED! ! ! !
So THEN Tarvos even though he was struck flubbergasted with SHOCK and AWE went all up-front against his adverstity and antagonisting ex-moral and started to act all cool so to protect his new girlfriend. But it was true. It turned out that day that Fefairi had been surreptitiously swindled by the wantonly evil deed of… that lazy fatass hacker guy whom has a GAY LISPS and is stupid and incompetent? ! It cannot be! ! ! "sOLLEX, wHAT DOYOU, uH, THINK YOUR DOING TO MY GIRLFRIEND YOU GEMONI MUSTARD BLOOD? !" Tavors voiced with vigors. "lEAVE HER, uH, aLONE YOU FIEND!" he shed tears emoticonly.
Solex chucked manacengly at Tarvoses futility attempt. "HAHAHA! im going 2 bee feferi2 NEW boyfriend NOW DOUHH!" It was clearly devastatingly evident that Sell-SEX was prob retarted and had a speach impeedment like Tavros accept instead he had an annoying 'LII2P' togo along with it. But Feferi was scared and decided to break the big argumentative brawl into. ")(- - -EY!" she screamed in her usually scream-like shout, "I )(ave a ID- - -EA! L- - -ETS BE AUTIPIEC- - -ES! That way we can all SHAR- - -E BUCKETS and no one will feel left OUT- - -E! ! !"
Sollex liked Fairies idea because he never gets to fill buckets accept w/ FIRSKA but only because shes a HORE. But Ill get to that LATER. However Tarvos didn't like that idea; beacuse before they actully used to be neighbors so they were morals albeit because SKRILLEX was an awful person to Tarvso and a such negative nancy so they had to break up. Even afterwords Slox used to beat Tavros up and even made fun of his lame Pita Pan costume and that's how he became crippled. But then Tavros decided to expose the truth by wipping the dirt and spilling the beans of their distantly removed past. So he explaned all that about how Solex was an abuser BUT THEN he revealed to Frderi, "nO DONT FILL BUCKETS W/ HIM uH, fERFERI, hES A CROOK WHOM ALWAYS FILLS BUCKENTS IN THE WRONG WAY! ! !"
But then Sol-SUX aggressed back anyway, "but there2 no wrong way 2 fill bucket222 you gog-damp prude! Gee2222…" Tavors blushed in humiliation after being called a prune so then he wanted to prove himself to Ferefi that he was NOT a pusillanimous lily-livered WUSS! SO then he had to agree and they decided to be austipieces and filled bunckets in a 3-SUM! ! ! (AN: The REASON that I didn't want to get to all the jucey detials was since because even though it could maybe be a possibly sekushi scene, is because why in the HECK would I want to describle a sex scene w/ SKRILLEX OUT OFF ALL PEOPLE! ! ! GROSS ! ! ! ALSO how HIGH do you even have to BE? ! ? (AN: and YES I used sweet bro and heella jeff even thought I HATE that series but I'm still wanted to show that I'm a loyal part of the HOMESTUCK NATIONALITY)
"THIS IS FU- - -EN! ! !" screeched Fferi in pure wonder and udder ecstasy. Afterwords all there genetic material was concentrated as goooeeey brown sauce into the piles of buckets hidden under the bed; and as a result a pair of Feferis sister grubes were formulated along with some other grub.
BUT THEN! "OOPS2 MY BAD YOU GUY2!" laughed Slolox sarcastaly. He stepped on "2" of there grubs! ! ! "NOOOO HOW COD YOU- - -E SOX? !" screeched Feferi despairingly. Tavros even cried. AGAIN! Now for SHURE we know he's evil now! Feirfi had the last straw with Solex. So she summoned her lusus-pet whom was a giant squid whomse deadly cry can be lethal to a troll within the entiere radius of all of Alternia. So she made her lussus whisper something in Solexes ears and so then he died.
But even though it was supposed to make all of the lowbloods die, albeit Tarvos still didnt die! So he asked Fierfi, "uH, wHY DIDNT, uH, I DIE? i, uH, THOUGHT I WAS LOWBLOOD? ?"
But THEN! Feferi revealed some news that swept Tavros totally aback of his feet. "Its BECAUS- - -E…!" she paused. "YOU are… the CHOS- - -EN ON- - -E!" she cheered. "uH, bUT THATS SO STEREOTYPICAL," Tarvos complained. "WHALE" Fairie continued "I meant that your MY chosen one!" cutely. "ALSO- - -E, you ARE the REAL legind! Like Pita Pan the boy wonder! The monsters in my DR- - -EAMS told M- - -E! Maybe its cause your MAGICAL- - -E!" Tarvoses eyes bubbled in delight, "uH, rEALLY? wOW," he remarked astoundingly with childlike aww.
All of a sudden Tarvos realised his true destination; to destroy the evil SKROLLOXES (AN: HA! I didn't know his name at first but now I realise it dosent matter anyway since cause its just SO STUPID! !) dream self to place revenge! However, what he was still not yet cognizant of was what layed ahead in his new path as a LEGING! So stay TUNED to discover what could have happened NEXT!
(UNCENSORED UNEDITED UNCUT VERISON):
(AN: ok evreyoen so this is my first fanfic an im rilly exceited! i don do alot of japanse langauge stuff normely in my writing becuse not evryeone is japanses unfortnatley -_-". this is a romance bout my fave ship! but noone else seems to no bout it but thers is alot of canon proof. they r soooo kawai togther cuz thehyre the nicest trols but the other ones are rill MEAN somtimes T_T. anyway i hope u guys like my storey!1! here goes)
Hi my name is Tarvos and i am an oragne bood troll and i am in love wit a bootiful impress. i am also a kirple who likes to FARLP when i am aloen in my room. this is the storey bout my lifve and how i get here to b my grilfiend. (AN: dose my story sound good yet pls coment!)
Caphter 1: Under da SEEEEAAAA~!
(Cue pestarcum log)
AdiasToriadoor (AY) began peresting Cudelfishcolor (CC)
AT: hEY BABY };)
CC: OMFGG CR-EEP! }8O
AT: i THOUGH YOU LOVE ME FEFIR!
CC: i OOSED 2 LAV-E YOU1111 bUT NOW I H8 YOU
AT: Sa you went to be kiss-mesisieses? ?
CC Travos noo! 38(
AT; bUT REMBER THE,, gOOD TIMES,
AT: wE HAD ALOT OFF FUUUUUUUUN,,,,,,,
CC: OMG-EEEEE i love you now TARVOSSSSS 38*
aT: i lurve you to babay,
AT: *bees smexxayyyyy gamzee mode* HeY bAbYy, CaN i CoMe OvEr To Yo hAvE?
CC; OF COOOORSSS-EEEE you littel smexxayyy pants you1 38====D
CC: WE WELL FEEL BUCK-ETZZZZ!
Cutelfishcoler (CC) stopped pessering adosTordoor
(and pseterchum) (AN: thats a good poot twist rite!)
then tavroos got of his compupte an put on scoba gears. "im goning under water to viset fairie, tinky/" said tavors to his looses Tinky Wink. "but Thats Forbiddon LOOOVEEe!" scremed Tinky-wanky. "what yo sayin?" asked tarvos confussingly." "alowblood cant love the impress. it dosent work!" she sad all angry. "its very sad
"bUT, I LOVE HeR WITH ALL MY MIGHT,,,!" said tavro emoticonly. tinkwink shook his head. travors didnt follor twinkwinks advise so he put on scoba gears agen and jumped into the water. he have to swim acroos the ocean now.
there was man feshes in the dep shiny blule sea (AN: is my metaphors good or to obscuer?)
trevor fond Farfaierys house an opend the door. "hI FARIY IM HER,E,," he screemd out load. sudenly he saw somhting he did NOT like one bit: Skrillex was in there with farfery on the bed!1!
"What you doin wit my girl firend you gemooni musatrd bod?" tarvos siad wtih vigors. "leave her alon!" he shotted "im2 want222 two bee feari2 boyfrend2 douh!" sellsex creed wit his usul anoying "LII2P". fieari juped into the big brall n said "LETS BE AUSPITIC-ES!" skrilx like that idead but tarvos dont. "Skrollox is bad at fill bunkets,,, trust me i woud no fierfi so lisen to wut i say" growelled Tavos. tavros n solex ar nieghdoors and theywere moriarails befor, so thast how they file bucks.
Tavros agressed anyway and they all filed buckest as auspieces in a 3SUM.(AN: sry i dont get to the jucey details ;P) "THIS IS FU-EN!" scr-EEched fefairy. the bunkets were all gooooey brown form groob sauce and ready to be fed to fefairys sister gurb and then they have 3 grobs.
OOP2 MY BAD YOU GUY2" said slox laughning sarcastaly . he step on 2 of dem grubs (AN: get it cause hes a gemoni?). Now for shure we know hes evil now! "SOX HOW COD YOOO-_EU!" shatted fearfi anf taros togeher. feari made her loososes wipser somthing in Slooxs ear on purpouse so then he died. "Wow, why i dindt die, faerie?" siad travors. "MMAAAYYB-_-E_ cause your magiclal!" sugested Faerferie.
all of a soden Tarvso finaly relised his desination; to distroy the evil skrollox's (AN: SRY I keep gettin his name mixed UP SO im not sure how to spell sry~) dream self!
(AN: thanks 4 readin chap 1. i worked rill hard on it. im alwasy sooo busy an dont do alot of revising so there might be alot of typos. Plese give me alot of reviews that are good! I apreciate it~! ^_^)