Hey dudes!

Remember me?

The one with the orange bandana and the nunchuks as weapons.

I sold more action figures than the others combined. Cool, eh?

I'm now twenty-six, and have tried a few things since leaving the sewers. I tried doing my own comic books, but I couldn't get the knack. I've always loved comics, but you have to be an artist. I'm not.

Instead, I joined the NYPD. Being at the forefront of law enforcement was ideal for me, after all, I am a Ninja Turtle. I was trained to deal with dangerous situations, so I applied my skills in the right direction.


I love my job so much.

Its like when we used to take down the bad guys, but now its legal for me to do it. I even say all the spiel before arresting someone - you know "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense." My work buds think I'm mad doing it every time, but I enjoy it. Makes me think I'm on an episode of Cops.

Beside my job, I have a real cool social life. I go out after work and hit the bars, not the same ones Raph goes to, but mainly my working crowd are there and I like to join in.

After drinks, I always tempt my fellow cop buds to one of the local pizza places, nothing changes there. Still love my pizza. Can't get enough of it. I eat it breakfast, noon and night if I can, although Donny does try and get me to eat other things too. Although a steamed piece of salmon with broccoli really doesn't have the same appeal as a cheese-dripping slice of pizza.

Donny is a health nut. He works out at the gym. He also runs an online business which is totally funding our lifestyles. Donny's business is big news. Been in the newspapers and everything. Ninja Turtle dominates shopping websites. Go Donny!

Once a week I really like to go clubbing. I'm a natural mover, and I love talking to (and taking home, much to Leo's disgust) various conquests. Anyone can be in my sights as long as they fit what I fancy - usually a darker haired guy or gal with long legs. I love long legs. Legs make the person as far as I'm concerned. I'm totally cruising, and I love it.

I'm not innocent. I'm now a Turtle of the World, lapping up the good times and at the center of the storm. Everyone knows who I am, and I can take home who I like. Ideal, dudes.

Of course it's more difficult for a Ninja Turtle to have sex. Our armour breastplate needs to be removed to gain access to our sexy bits.

First time I had sex was when I was twenty-two. I was drunk and out clubbing. A girl came up to me and asked me if I'd ever been with anyone before, being what I was. I said no. She said, we can't have that ... and took me to her apartment.

She rocked me all night. We had to work out how to do it, a ninja turtle is a bulky thing, and its hard to manoeuvre with a shell on your back. Once I found my technique I was loving it, and when I had my first ever orgasm, it was the best thing I'd ever felt.

It didn't take me long to experience it again. The next weekend at Starlight Club, a drunken guy tried it on. I thought, why not? I'm young, free and single. Might as well experiment. It was totally different than the girl, but just as good. Again, the key was figuring out my technique, and then I was flying high again.

So most weekends became the same; clubbing, cruising and taking someone home or being taken to theirs.

What happened to my ninja skills? I developed bedroom skills to rival any ninja skill. I was a Master between the sheets, and have found sex much more rewarding than martial arts. I mean, the climax alone is worth the effort. All you get in training is sore muscles.

That's my life at the moment. It is a shell of a ride, and I'm loving every minute.