Announcement: My first original novel. The (sort of) Dark Mage, is complete and is available on Amazon as both a paperback and ebook. It's a humorous light fantasy story about dark magic, monsters, and undead. And rabbits.

It even has a succubus. Truly. If you like my sense of humor in my fanfiction you will definitely enjoy my book. You can find it by going on Amazon and searching the story title. I have also provided a direct link through my website, which you can find by visiting my profile page.

If you love my brand of twisted and sarcastic humor please give my novel a try.


"Are you really not going to talk to us?" Cappuccino asked.

He and Mizo were sitting with Tsuki at the cafeteria. She had not spoken to them the entire day, and was deliberately eating her lunch without looking in their direction.

"Tsuki I am really sorry for not being there like I promised," Mizo said with head lowered. "As your inevitable husband, and the father of our yet to be conceived children, I want you to know you can depend on me."

That at least earned him an exasperated glare.

Right then Cappu's stomach growled. "This food is okay, but it's not what I'm really hungry for." His eyes drifted over to Tsuki's neck as he began to drool. "I don't suppose…"

Even though her meal was only half finished Tsuki stood up and took her tray to the back.

Mizo turned to Cappuccino. "This is all your fault you know."

"What? How is any of this my fault?"

"If you hadn't gotten in the way Tsuki would be safe in my home right now thinking about baby names."

Cappu shook his head. "If I hadn't been there you would have kidnapped her."


"Are all yukki-hito like you?"

"No, some of us can get kind of obsessive."


Tsuki's last class of the day was English.

She always struggled with it. Being Japanese she had a natural issue with mixing her L's and R's when speaking it. She also had trouble memorizing all the exceptions the language seemed to have. If something had the 'f' sound why did you spell it with a 'ph'? If you had more than one house you had houses. Yet more than one mouse they were mice. And why were three words, to, too, and two all pronounced the exact same way even when though they all had different meanings?

She didn't even want to think about all those silent letter k's that started so many words. Did whoever invented English just want to make it as confusing and random as possible?

"Aono-san," her teacher called. "Please read the next sentence."

She stood up. "The kirra went scott fwee due to rack of evidence."

There were a couple giggles from her classmates, along with some looks of sympathy.

The teacher shook his head. "You are going to have to work very hard on your pronunciation. The final exam is oral and in front of the class. Jiro-san please take the next sentence."

Tsuki quickly sat back down. Great, on top of fearing for my life I'm going to really have to study hard just to pass this subject.


When the class mercifully ended Tsuki was just about to head to the library when a certain aqua haired boy came up to her.

"Tsuki, I hear you're having trouble with English."

"What? Class just ended, how would you know?"

"One of my friends is in your class and she mentioned it to me."

"Oh just great, I screwed up so badly people are spreading stories."

"Well if you need some help it just so happens I am fluent in that language." He cleared his throat and began speaking in that tongue. "Wow that escalated quickly. Want to know how I got these scars? There is a tiger in the bathroom. Fear is the path to the Dark Side. I swear officer I thought she was eighteen."

Tsuki clapped her hands. "Wow! That's amazing! Where did you learn to speak English so well?"

"My uncle owns a casino in Las Vegas, so I spent some time in America."

"Really, what's it like?"

"Very strange place, half the people want to have sex all the time and the other half want to be upset with them because of it."

"That does sound weird."

"Yes, but they have some good restaurants and cable television. Anyway," he slid just a little bit closer to her. "If you'd like I'd be happy to give you a few lessons."

Tsuki took a step away. "Well sure, I was headed to the library right now. Why don't we study together?"

"Oh, I'd love too, but I have a prior commitment I can't get out of. How about instead you come to my room and we study there?"

She was instantly suspicious. "Why don't we just study in the library instead?"

"Well I'm afraid it closes at eight and I'm not free until then."

Tsuki narrowed her eyes. "That's convenient. Still, why does it have to be in your room?"

Kumaru grinned and ran a hand through his thick hair. "I'm okay with coming to yours instead. I mean if you don't want my help its fine."

Tsuki chewed on her lower lip. Despite saving her this morning Kumaru was obviously a player. She didn't really want to invite him to her room, but that was a whole lot safer than going all alone to his. Plus she certainly did want his help.

"Okay," she said slowly. "We can study together in my room tonight. Just so long as you understand it's just to study and nothing else."

"Of course, you can trust me."

"Fine," she gave him her room number. "Come by at eight."

"Oh, I'll be there."


Before coming to Youkai, Tsuki had never had a single boy visit her, with the exception of her cousin. Now on just her second day here she was about to have a third new boy come to her room. She made some snacks and had sodas in the fridge. Tsuki was still dressed in her school uniform as she didn't want to seem too familiar or relaxed.

Just a couple minutes before eight there was a rap on the door.

When she opened it there was Kumaru in his black leather jacket holding out a rose.

"A little something for the beautiful lady."

"Ah, thank you, it's lovely." Tsuki took the flower from him, feeling uncertain. This was another first. "Won't you come in?"

"Thanks." He strolled in and glanced about the small apartment. "Very neat, without even a little overindulgence. Nice, it's what I was expecting."

"Uhm, thank you?" Tsuki put the flower down on her kitchen counter. She was already getting a very weird feeling in her chest. "You didn't bring any books with you."

He flashed her a brilliant smile. "No need to worry," he tapped the side of his head. "I have it all right up here." He switched to English. "Fo'get about it."

"Er, right," she joined him in the living area. "So how should we begin?"

With practiced ease Kumaru slipped a hand around her back and yanked her close. "Kissing is always good for a start." He leaned in.

"Hey!" With both arms she shoved him and got clear. "I told you I was just inviting you over to study. That's all."

Chuckling Kumaru slid off his jacket, the shirt he was wearing underneath already had the top two buttons undone. "Resistance, that is just so cute."

"I think you should leave now."

"Oh don't be that way. We're all alone, there's no need to be shy or worry about what people will think. Just relax sweetheart, and let's get to know each other a little better."

"My name is Tsuki, not sweetheart, and I really think you should leave. I appreciate what you did for me this morning, but I think I'll just have to study on my own."

Kumaru paused. "You're serious?"

"Of course I am! I only wanted to study together. If you have other ideas I am not interested."

Kumaru's smile widened and he breathed out a slow sigh. "I had you pegged the second I saw you. You really are completely pure and innocent aren't you? I bet you've never even kissed a guy have you?"

Tsuki's cheeks blushed. "That's none of your business."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." He took a small step towards her. "You are exactly my type. I'm the corrupter of the innocent baby. I just love to take naïve, goody, virgins and introduce them to the joys and wonders of adult life."


Kumaru laughed out loud and took another step closer. "You have got to be the most innocent girl I've ever met. Yah, freaking, hoo!"

Tsuki took a step back and had a sudden sense of Deja vu. "Please don't tell me you've fallen in love, and want to marry me and have me give you babies."

Kumaru froze as his eyes widened and he waved both hands. "Whoa! Slow your roll there sweetheart. I'm an incubus, and it's true that I have a duty to father children and keep the race going. But it's not like I have to be married to do that. I'm sixteen, I've got plenty of time. Eventually I'll pick some lucky girl to be my Destined One, but that's for later when I'm really old, like thirty or so. I mean you're cute and all, but marriage? Let's just see how it goes."

"So you just want to use me for sex?"

"Use is such a horrible word, I guarantee you'll love every second of it and be begging me for more." He ran a hand through his hair. "The girls always do."

Tsuki's mouth opened and then closed. "I can't tell if that's better or worse."

Kumaru stepped forward again. "I bet you're wearing granny panties and a plain white bra aren't you?" He began rubbing his hands together. "Damn it, but clueless virgins are just so hot!"

Tsuki found herself with her back against a wall. "One more step and I am going to scream!"

"Hey, I'm just kidding." He came to a halt and his hands to his sides. "Most girls would be all over me at this point. But you really are pure aren't you?"

"I just like to think of myself as a good girl is all. I don't think love should be cheap."

"Okay then, just look into my eyes and tell me to leave."

"Fine." She stared hard into his purple eyes. "I want you to… to…"

All of a sudden she felt light headed. His eyes were so beautiful. She stared into them and felt lost.

"That's right, don't fight it." He came up to her and put his hands on her hips and pulled her close. "Just tell me what you want me to do." He again began to lean in close to her, certain that this time there would be no resistance.

That was when Kumaru felt a sudden temperature drop in the room.

Followed almost immediately by five ice knives sprouting from the side of his head. He went down gushing blood.

From Tsuki's window Mizo climbed in. "What sort of man tries to take advantage of a helpless girl? And not offer to at least marry and kidnap her? Scum!"

Tsuki blinked and came out of her trance. "Huh? What just happened?"

The door to her room burst open and Cappuccino rushed in, panting and with hands on knees. "Tsuki… are… you… all… right."

"She is, no thanks to you." Mizo strode over to the unconscious form of Kumaru, both his hands transformed into ice claws. "At least you can help me with getting rid of the body."

"Hold it! What are you doing?" Tsuki cried.

"I'm just going to take care of this guy for you." Mizo said. "When we heard he was planning to visit you we were going to warn you."

"The staff wouldn't let us leave until we finished scrubbing all the halls though." Cappu said.

"This guy is an incubus." The way Mizo said it the word might have been synonymous with 'stinking pile of dog poo'. "He goes around charming women and then just using them."

Cappu nodded. "We're both just glad we were able to get here in time."

"So now I'll take care of him permanently."

"You're going to kill him?" Tsuki asked horrified.

"That's right. You don't need to worry, we won't get in any trouble. These things just kind of happen at the academy."

"No!" Tsuki put herself between Mizo and Kumaru who was lying on her floor. "You can't kill someone except in self-defense. No matter what he was doing I can't let you commit murder."

"But humans kill all the time. I've seen Hollywood movies."

"I don't care! No killing except in self-defense!"

"Fine," Mizo transformed his arms back into human appendages.

Cappu picked him up and slung him over one shoulder. "I'll take him back to him room and give him a stern talking to, and warning about what will happen if he bothers you again."

Mizo rolled his pupil-less eyes. "You're going to drink some of his blood aren't you?"

"But he's already bleeding!"

Tsuki shuddered. "Really?"

"Don't judge me." Cappuccino got out of there as quick as he could.


The next morning as Tsuki left the girls' dorm both Mizo and Cappuccino were outside waiting. The boys bowed low to her.

"We apologize and are very sorry for our actions yesterday." Cappuccino told her.

"That's right," Mizo said. "We realize that your safety comes before everything else. So from now on we won't let out personal rivalry get in the way of keeping you safe."

"Yes." Cappu said.

"Unless an opportunity comes up where I am one hundred percent sure I can take this bastard out." Mizo nodded at Cappuccino.

Cappu glared at him. "Seriously?"

"That's the most you will ever get from me so just take it."

Tsuki shook her head and started walking. "Okay, you guys are both forgiven, and thank you for coming to my rescue." The three of them began heading to school together. "Hopefully things will settle down now."


At the school gate there was a small crowd gathered.

As the three of them neared they saw Kumaru waiting for them, surrounded by a group of female students. There were bandages around his head and he was holding a bouquet of red roses and box of chocolates.

"Oh this can't possibly be good." Tsuki said.

Mizo and Cappuccino both got in front of her. "Didn't I warn you what would happen if you bothered her again?" Cappu asked.

Mizo made a couple ice daggers appear in his hands. "If you really want to help me with my target practice…"

Kumaru ignored them and instead directed his attention at Tsuki. "The pink haired guy told me that you saved my life, even though you knew what I was trying to do. Is that true?"

Tsuki crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't get the wrong idea. It's not because I like you, it's just that I don't believe in killing people who are defenseless."

"So it is true." Kumaru's cheeks reddened. "You are amazing Tsuki, and I have totally fallen for you. I've decided you are my Destined One."


Kumaru dropped to one knee. "I love you! From this day on you're the only woman for me!"

All the girls in the crowd sent murderous looks Tsuki's way. She noted that Suzie was among them.

Mizo glanced at her. "Can I kill him now? Please?"

"Ask me a little later."

With her two bodyguards right next to her Tsuki hurried past the still kneeling Kumaru and into school.