You guys, feel free to kill me. I DESPISE myself for taking 5 months to update this story. It's been in my head the whole time. I promise (on my honor) that I will add at least one more chapter this weekend. One more chapter I like to call "The make out in the bathroom chapter!" p.s.- You might want to start this story from the beginning. I had to reread it! I'm a disgrace as an author. Happy Friday! Lolee Ann (p.s.- This one is for you, Kimmie Sue!)
Kurt wasn't as brave as he had always secretly hoped he was. In fact; he was a damned coward. This explained why, two weeks after Blaine's return home, he still hadn't broken up with him.
He wanted to. He needed to. He wanted to be with Dave so badly that at moments his whole body felt weighted down with yearning. It was just that…
How do you tell someone that you never really loved them? That you hadn't known what love was until you found that other person. That other half of your soul.
And so; in that moment when Blaine had rushed in the door, sweeping Kurt up in his arms, he'd had made a split second decision.
He couldn't break up with Blaine. He couldn't...wouldn't hurt him like that.
But maybe he could get Blaine to break up with him.
And over the last 14 days he'd tried his damnedest.
The first week he'd tried to provoke Blaine into dumping him. He called Blaine at all hours to talk about feelings in a whiny voice. He'd openly flirted with other guys and sometimes; when he was desperate, he flirted with girls too. He criticized Blaine's weight. He'd started wearing mismatching socks. He'd joined McKinley High's Young Republicans.
No result. If anything, it made Kurt feel worse. Blaine was being such a great boyfriend. Listening when Kurt whined about his feelings, ignoring his flirting, taking his critiques in stride, and promising to support Kurt when he ran for president of the Young Republicans club.
The second week, he'd avoided Blaine, not returning texts for hours, cancelling plans. Hoping that this sort of passive abandonment would send the message he was apparently too cowardly to deliver. But Blaine was understanding, concerned and supportive. He'd told Kurt it seemed like he needed space, but he was just a text or phone call away. He said that he loved him, and he'd always be there for him.
Kurt had never felt so low. How could anyone hurt such a nice guy? Wasn't there some other way to do this?
But there wasn't because any other way left him without Dave. Being without Dave…it felt like not being able to catch his breath. He craved the other boy, needed to see, hear, touch him. And he couldn't; not really, not until he broke this off.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. That thought was on repeat track in his head, as Kurt hunched over his smart phone in the back of the school library. Google had answered all of his big life questions. "What product keeps your hair styled for hours?", "How do you tell your dad that you are gay?", and "How many times is too many times to see Wicked?" Surely they had a good answer to "How do you get your boyfriend to break up with you?"
Kurt knew Dave was in the library. It was like he could almost feel a change in the air. Electricity. He huffed impatiently at his own clichéd thinking. There was no electric...
A large, warm hand settled on his shoulder and every thought jolted from Kurt's mind. He was right, it wasn't electricity. It was being struck directly by lightning. His whole body hummed with joy.
Dave's whispered "Hey babe" sent a rush of chills down his sensitized body. He felt surrounded by the other boy as he leaned over Kurt's shoulder, focused on something on the table. Dave brought with him that scent that Kurt loved, the clean scent of falling leaves and winter air. He appealed to every one of Kurt's senses. He loved everything about Dave.. his voice, his body, the way his hand felt on Kurt's shoulder. His taste...God, he fell asleep every night thinking about the way Dave kissed him, the way it made the whole world fall away, the way the other boy tasted…like champagne and chocolate. Completely intoxicating and addictive.
Kurt shook himself out of his reverie. His thoughts sounded like the back of a really trashy, over the top romance novel. He was at school, in back of the library. Not the right time or place for what he was feeling, thinking, wanting to do. Peering up he realized that Dave had leaned over and seen his Smartphone screen, seen what he had asked Google. Turning his body in the chair, Kurt gazed with some uncertainty into the face of the boy he loved.
What would Dave say? Would he call Kurt out on being a coward? Did he think Kurt wasn't as in love as he was? Would he give him an ultimatum?
But those hazel eyes were solemn with just a hint of mirth in their depths.
"I see what your plan is. I was wondering if that was you I saw flirting with Mrs. Williams the other day. "(McKinley's librarian...she had to be 100 if she was a day).
Kurt blushed, his red cheeks betraying his guilt. He'd asked Mrs. William's how she felt about younger men, hoping that Blaine would be both offended and worried about his mental health. But both Blaine had only laughed when Mrs. William's had sharply retorted "I think younger men need to return their library books on time, Mr. Hummel!"
Blaine had later confessed that he thought Kurt was sweet for trying to make Mrs. Williams feel "young and dangerous again".
Blaine was being so patient with him. Dave was being so patient with him. Kurt felt trapped. He loved one boy and couldn't be with him because of his own cowardice. He owed so much to another boy and couldn't be truthful with him because he didn't want to hurt him.
But; in the meantime, everyone was getting hurt.
Blaine was hurt by his confusing actions.
He was sure that Dave was hurt by Kurt's unwillingness to tell the truth about their feelings.
And he was in pain. It literally hurt by being apart from Dave.
Letting himself feel that pain seemed to snap his barely held control. Two weeks without Dave was too long. He couldn't stand the separation for another minute. He didn't know what he was going to do, how he was going to do it, or how he could stop any of them from hurting. All of a sudden, all of his strategies and his worry didn't matter. All that mattered is that he needed Dave. He needed the other boy's arms, his comfort, his scent, his love surrounding Kurt. He needed a moment of dreams to get him through this nightmare.
Twisting to glance at the back corner of the library where he had planted himself at the start of study hall, Kurt observed no one nearby. Good. He shoved his phone in the front of his messenger bag, ran a hand through his carefully styled hair and stood up, his hastily pushed back chair moving Dave several feet back.
Giving the area one last careful scan, he leaned up to whisper in the bigger boy's ear.
"Meet me in the back hallway boy's bathroom in 5 minutes".
Kurt normally wouldn't chance something as public as a bathroom, but he knew that it was shut down, awaiting new sinks or something. No one went in there.
He took three steps before the hand stopped him. Dave's hand, tightly clasping Kurt's wrist, forcing him to stop and glance back at the other boy. Kurt pulled his eyes from the beautiful sight of Dave's hand on his body, trying to focus on Dave's face. The intensity in the other boy's eyes almost brought him to his knees. Those hazel eyes smoldered, slowly deepening in color. Kurt lost all sense of time and place, stumbling forward into Dave's arms.
Kurt had just registered the contact with that tough, big body, just heard his and Dave's mutual sigh of relief when Dave's hand, still wrapped around his wrist, pulled them apart. Kurt whimpered helplessly, trying to recapture the peace of being in Dave's arms, pushing forward, but Dave's words stopped him.
And; as they had done over and over since that Valentines night, Dave's words hit him like a punch to the heart.
" I…I promised myself I would never hide you again."
If Kurt could have fallen any more in love with Dave, he would have at that moment. He knew Dave was as desperate for him as he was for Dave. He could barely take a step he was so incoherent with the need to be with the other boy. He wanted to put his hands, his mouth, his body all over Dave and brand him, so that no one would ever doubt who Dave belonged to ever again. He wanted to see those eyes, glazed with desire, staring into his own. He wanted Dave to back him up against the wall and….
Releasing his shaky hand from Dave's grasp, Kurt held it over his heart, hoping that could slow the pounding of his heart. It didn't help.
Turning away from the other boy, he hefted the messenger bag more securely across his shoulder as he began walking. There was no pause in his step as he turned, his cheeks flushed, and trained his eyes on Dave's.
"3 minutes, Kurofsky".