The Invader Horror Zim Show

Part 1

Dib and Gaz walked out of the church. "Well, that was rather interesting." Dib commented. He sipped his soda and looked at his dad, who was running from his would-be bride, getting hit over the head with the bouquet.

"Dad should have just taken the day off. But noooo, he just had to leave his bride behind at the altar. Stupid!" Gaz muttered. She was actually excited to finally have a mom again. Her biological mother had died from a lab accident during "Bring your Spouse to Work Day" at Professor Membrane's office, nine years ago. Gaz was fourteen, now, and she needed a mom to help her with her recent changes. How do you put on makeup? Do these shoes go with this top? It was confusing, and the pamphlets her father had gotten her didn't help.

"Yeah, well. Hey, I don't think Dad's gonna be getting that car ready. Wanna use the hovercraft?" Gaz nodded through disappointed tears. "Great! I'll drive!"

"Dib! Land this thing now!" Gaz shouted over the heavy winds. Rain lashed at her face, much like the tree branches that the hovercraft was barely avoiding.

"Gaz, I have everything under control. Remember, I'm a year older than you, and I get to make the decisions." Lightning briefly illuminated Dib's facial features, and a creepy castle that rushed past with a light in one window.

"Land this hunk of metal, NOW, or I'll condemn you to a nightmare world of no awakening for all- Look out!" If it were possible to view life in slow-motion, a witness would see that the hovercraft had flipped over a pine tree. Gaz was grimacing at her dim-witted brother, who was doubled over in pain due to a branch that had struck him in the land of no return.

The two siblings tumbled headlong through the tree cover, landing forcefully on the hard ground. Dib was rolling about in pain on the ground, getting mud all over his trenchcoat. Now ruined, he left it in the puddle next to him. Dib had five others at home, so it was a small loss.

"Ugh, I told you to land that thing! You never listen to me! No one does…" Gaz hung her head, sad and angry at the world. She was always so alone, well, except for that one Iggins kid. But the most they had done was kiss, and he was trying to break her heart for stealing the Gameslave 2. She never let him past first base, though, and broke his arm on their second date.

"I can't get a signal from the Swollen Eyeballs, and my phone broke in the fall. Let's go check out that old castle we passed. They're bound to have a phone." Dib broke Gaz from her thoughts of failed relationships.

"People still have landlines?" Gaz asked no one in particular as she followed her brother along the path.

Dib lifted the knocker on the door. It pounded upon the oak frame, the sound reverberating along the edge of the woods. The door was opened by a rather…unique looking individual. He was hunchbacked, with sunken eyes. He had a spindly frame, seemingly supported by strange, round objects located at his wrists and shoulders. His head was square, and his eyes were purple. The most striking thing was his skin, all green. Music came from inside the house. "Hello there." Dib cheerfully stated, oblivious to the man's green skin. "My sister and I were hoping that you would have a phone that we could use. Our, um, car, broke down and we need to call a mechanic." The man cast his eyes over Dib's entire body. Seemingly pleased, he allowed Dib and Gaz to enter.

The music seemed very loud. "Are you having some sort of party?" Gaz asked, bemused.

The man finally spoke. "You've arrived on a very special night. It's one of the master's affairs." His voice was oddly high-pitched. Gaz nodded, still bemused.

"Oh, well, lucky him." Gaz smiled, trying not to let this weirdo see her clear hatred for all living things. Someone came down from the staircase. They looked like the first strange man, except he (who was dressed as a "she") was red where the first was purple.

"I'm lucky, she's lucky, you're lucky, we're all lucky!" The red one laughed, tossing the purple one a colorful feather duster. A nearby clock chimed midnight, whereupon a guitar in the next room started a riff. The purple gentleman opened the clock, revealing a skeleton, and proceeded to dust. He sang along with the music.

"It's astounding. Time is fleeting. Madness, takes its toll. But listen closely," The red gentleman joined in.

"Not for very much longer." Then the purple one went on with this song.

"I've got to keep control. I remember, doing the Time Warp! Drinking, those moments when! The blackness within me!" The red one joined in. "And the void would be calling!"

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Gaz and Dib burst into a room filled with green-skinned people, all dressed in over-the-top tuxedos.

It's just a jump to the left.

And then a step to the ri-ght!

Put your hands on your hips.

And bring your knees in tight!

Then it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insa-ne!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

The red one started a solo, throwing himself into it as though it would satisfy some sort of urge.

It's so dreamy, oh, fantasy free me!

So you can't see me,

No, not at all.

In another dimension,

With voyeuristic intention,

Well secluded, I see all.

Purple: With a bit of a mind-flip

Red: You're into the time-slip!

Purple: And nothing, can ever be the same.

Red: You're spaced-out on sensation, oh!

Purple: Like you're under sedation!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

It's just a jump to the left,

And then a step to the ri-ght

Put your hands on your hips,

And bring your knees in ti—ght

Then it's the pelvic thrust,

That really drives you insa-ne

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

The purple and red gentlemen danced over to a small, red-eyed robot in a gold sequined tuxedo jacket and matching top hat, seated on a jukebox. It proceeded to sing in a female voice.

Well I was walking down the street just having a think,

When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink,

He shook me up; he took me by surprise,

He had a pick-up truck,

And the devil's eyes!

He stared at me, and I felt a change,

Time meant nothing, never would again.

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

It's just a jump to the left.

And then a step to the ri-ght

Put your hands on your hips.

And bring your knees in ti—ght

Then it's the pelvic thrust,

That really drives you insa-ne

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

The robot began to tap dance across the floor, whooping and yelling as she did so.

Whoo!

Ahh!

Ohhh-whoa!

Yow!

Aaaaahhhhhhh!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

It's just a jump to the left!

And then a step to the ri-ght

Put your hands on your hips

And bring your knees in tight!

Then it's the pelvic thrust,

That really drives you insa-ne!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Everyone collapsed on the floor as the jukebox broke, the music landing in a discorded heap upon Dib's and Gaz's ears.

"Say something!" Gaz commanded, punching her brother in the arm. He paused before declaiming:

"Say, do any of you guys know how to shuffle?" Gaz facepalmed as the entire room looked at them. They started to laugh in a strange manner, as if they were expecting something of their unexpected guests.

"Dib, let's get out of here. We're intruding, and I really don't like that look on their faces." Gaz looked nervously towards the slowly rising mob, many of them licking their lips.

"Gaz, you know we can't leave until we get to a PHONE" Dib said "phone" rather loudly, hoping to get the attention of the purple butler and his red maid friend. "Besides, these people are obviously foreigners who don't recognize our customs. Perhaps they may perform some more, 'folk dancing'" the crowd giggled at Dib's mild remark. The elevator in the hall began to groan.

"Dib, let's go! It's unhealthy here, and these people obviously don't have a phone." Immediately after Gaz said that, a green woman in a strapless black unitard and fishnet stockings appeared in the elevator. Gaz screamed at the purple-eyed, beauty-marked phantom. Strangely enough, more music started as the door to the elevator opened, and the woman began to sing.

How do you do, I

See you've met my

Faithful handyman.

He's just a little brought down, because

When you knocked

He thought you were the candy man!

Don't get strung out

By the way I look.

Don't judge a book by its cover.

I'm not much of a man,

By the light of day,

But by night I'm one hell of a lover!

I'm just a sweet transvestite,

From transsexual, Transylvania! Haha!

Let me show you around, maybe

Play you a sound.

You look like you're both pretty groovy.

Or, if you want something visual,

That's not to abysmal,

We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

Dib began to explain while the music still played in the background. "I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry. We'll just say where we are, then go back to the, erm, car. We don't want to be any worry."

Well, you got, caught with a flat

Well, how about that?

Well, babies, don't you panic.

By the light of the night

It'll all seem alright

I'll get you a satanic, mechanic

I'm just a sweet transvestite

From transsexual, Transylvania! Haha!

Why don't you, stay for the night? (Night)

Or maybe, a bite? (Bite)

I could show you my favorite, obsession.

I've been making a man.

With red eyes and a tan.

And he's good for relieving my, tension.

I'm just a sweet transvestite,

From transsexual, Transylvania! Hit it!

I'm just a sweet transvestite, (Sweet transvestite)

From transsexual, Transylvania! Haha!

So, come up to the lab,

And see what's on the slab.

I see you shiver, with antici-

-pation.

But maybe the rain!

Is really to blame.

So I'll remove the cause,

But not the symptom!

So saying, the green woman departed in the elevator.