Warning: If you don't like girlxgirl pairings, then I suggest you leave now. There's nothing here that you will enjoy.
Notes: Hello everyone, glad to be back! This is a revised edition of 12 Days of Kigo, which is something I always wanted to do ever since I wrote the original. For those of you unaware, 12 Days of Kigo was originally written and completed in under a month for the holiday season, and thus it was still a little uncooked. So sit back and enjoy this well-done version! I give all credit for anything positive that comes out of this first chapter to Benzie and Shaggley. Thanks for lending me some of your wisdom!
Disclaimer: No, I do not own Kim Possible or any characters associated with the show.
12 Days of Kigo
"12 Destructo Drummers Drumming"
There were three certainties Kim knew she would face throughout her life: death, taxes...and Drakken's cliché villainous laughs and seasonal greetings.
"Mwahaha! Have a merry Christmas, Kim Possible! And a happy New Years! If you live, that is! Mwahaha!"
Kim couldn't decide whether to be amused or annoyed at the sad fact that Drakken was the fourth villain in the past week to have spewed that very sub par threat at her, so she opted for just rolling her eyes in exasperation.
Would it kill these guys to try for some originality? Kim muttered mentally.
The blue skinned scientist, currently dressed as Santa Claus, cackled maniacally as he walked away leaving Kim and Ron alone in a deep pit alone with a pack of rabid guard dogs.
"Ehehe, gooood doggies," Ron cooed nervously as the two teenagers were backed into a corner, the pack of snarling dogs closing in on them. Rufus gulped as he scrambled for higher ground, namely Ron's head.
"Ron, do you still have that naco you were saving for later?" Kim asked while eying one of the closer dogs, watching as it foamed at the mouth.
The blond teenager paled. "B-but KP! It's a super-duper-grande naco! The last one! As in no longer on the menu! As in-"
"Ron!" Kim growled, shooting a glare at the blond.
With a defeated sigh, Ron quickly took off his backpack and pulled out the wrapped naco, only hesitating a second before handing it to the redhead. Rufus couldn't help but lick his lips at the sight of the football sized naco while Kim once again shook her head at the ridiculousness of it.
Kim quickly unwrapped the naco, grunting as she heaved it to the other end of the pit. The dogs watched it sail through the air before turning their attention back to their much more enticing prey. Yet as the naco splattered onto the ground with a resounding thud behind them, the appeal of the ignored naco skyrocketed. A tsunami of overwhelming aromas assaulted the hungry dogs, the most striking of them being the mouth-watering smell of beef, steak, and sausage.
Like small pups, the dogs climbed and jumped over each other as they made a mad dash for the greasy meal.
"Quick, we can get out using the gate they came through!" Kim commanded as she sprinted to the barred entrance, Ron on her heels. The blond and his like-minded mole rat couldn't help but stare with regret in their eyes at the naco being ripped apart by the dogs as they battled for their portion of the meal, happy yips being emitted by the ones who were lucky enough to get a mouthful.
The teen hero pulled out her lipstick laser and carved away the rusted bars, easily knocking them aside with her shoulder before ascending up the entrance. The duo ran through the dark hallways that echoed with overplayed Christmas songs, keeping an eye out for henchmen and a way back to the upper section of the decorated lair.
Of all the months for crimes to be on a record high, it had to be December. Only 12 days till Christmas and I haven't gotten in one day of shopping!
Kim frowned in frustration at the thought, and made a mental note to hurt Drakken just a little more than usual this time. She glanced out of one of the passing windows and had to suppress a groan. It was past midnight, technically meaning there were only 11 days till Christmas.
"KP, look!" Ron shouted while pointing at a spiraling set of stairs lined with Christmas lights ahead of them.
The two heroes dashed up the stairs and burst through a pair of swinging doors...only to come to a screeching stop.
At the top of the stairs, a squad of henchmen stared down at them through the sites of their candy cane shaped laser rifles.
Kim snorted in annoyance as she crossed her arms and raised a questioning eyebrow at her foes.
"Home or the hospital? Pick one, because the next few seconds will decide where you'll be for Christmas."
The henchmen quickly eyed one another, puffed up their chests proudly, and silently came to an agreement.
Kim smirked and Ron snickered as they ran past the henchmen who were now on their cellphones, calling for rides home.
Pulling out her Kimmunicator to look at the map of the lair Wade had uploaded earlier, Kim directed them around a few more turns till they approached a long corridor that looked like it had been decorated by an evil elf that had an unusual obsession with portraits of Drakken and black stockings with random splotches of green.
The scene would have been innocent enough, if it weren't for the deadly turrets along the decorated walls that were now turning towards the intruders.
Glancing at each other, the two teens nodded and sprinted into action. Kim dashed down the right side of the corridor, flipping and rolling around the crackling laser beams while using her laser lipstick to take out the row of turrets while Ron handled the other side by tossing Rufus up on top the turrets while he distracted their fire.
The naked mole rat made short work of them by using all his might to point the first turret towards the other ones, reducing them to smoking protrusions along the wall.
"Way to rock, mi amigo," Ron said approvingly, fist bumping his small friend after Rufus dropped down onto his shoulder.
Nodding in agreement at the proud looking rodent, the heroes continued on their way till finally coming to a large metal doorway that was halfway open, allowing bright fluorescent light from within to spill into the corridor.
"Drakken should be in there," Kim mumbled quietly to Ron, both of them cringing when a motion activated plastic snowman beside them began singing a badly out of tuned holiday song . Her eye twitched when she realized that it was Drakken singing, that the insane scientist had actually recorded himself singing and uploaded it into the snowman.
"Great, I have a feeling this song is going to be stuck in my head for at least a week," Ron groaned, holding his hand over his ears, glaring at the gayly smiling snowman which was swaying side to side as it sang.
Before Kim could put it out of its misery, the singing and music stopped mid beat only to be replaced by Shego's ear-splitting rant.
"What the hell are you doing! Why are you singing that awful gibberish over the intercom at five in the morning! Is there even a brain in that dumb head of yours! I swear to everything that is holy that if you sing one more note, I'm going to rip your tongue out and shove it up your ass! Now shut up and go back to sleep, you pathetic idiot! And by the way, your singing sucks! … No. No! Don't you dare start crying!"
The teen duo winced when Drakken's wailing pierced through the snowman and into their eardrums
"Gah! Shut up, Drakken! I said, shut the f-"
There was a clicking sound before the tape rewound itself and started again from the beginning. The two heroes blinked at each other blankly as the relatively peaceful sound of Drakken's out of tune singing floated around them.
"You know, it's times like these when I wonder who I pity more between Drakken and Shego," Ron quipped, causing a smile to grace Kim's face.
"Come on, lets put an end to this and go home." Ron and Rufus nodded and followed their leader past the large, metal entryway.
Shego yawned loudly, laid out sideways in a large, cushioned chair as she filed her nails while Drakken continued his daily rant. She paid him no attention as he paced in front of her, his hands gesturing wildly with every word. Blowing a few loose strands of hair out of her face, Shego idly wondered what was taking Kim so long to burst her employer's bubble.
"With Possible finally out of the way, there's nobody left who will be able to stop my Destructo Drummers of Doom! Mwahaha!"
The plasma wielding woman rolled her eyes as she glanced at the supposed 'Drummers of Doom'. Within the cavernous room, there were a dozen robotic drummers, each one standing 9 feet tall. They looked like harmless, overgrown toys. That was until one noticed the large Gatling laser gun sticking out the front of their drums and the half-dozen missiles mounted on each of their backs..
"Except Hench Co.," Shego muttered when Drakken was passing in front of her, shooting him a bored look while putting away her nail file to unwrap a green and black striped candy cane.
"Mwahaha-...huh?" Drakken looked blankly at his sidekick, his hands still raised triumphantly in the air.
With a long, drawn out sigh, Shego grabbed a pink slip that was sitting on the console in front of her and cleared her throat loudly before reading what was on it.
"We are sorry to inform you that the universal, all-in-one, multipurpose robotic army control device was lost in the mail. Another is currently being sent to you. Because of the holidays, the package shall arrive in about three weeks time. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Years!" Shego finished with false cheer.
Drakken gaped wordlessly at Shego before falling to his knees in defeat. His shoulders shook as he glared up at the ceiling, anger blazing in his eyes.
"Damn you Jack Hench!" he bellowed, shaking his fists in the air.
"What happened to that holiday cheer you were showing just a few minutes ago?" Kim called out as her and Ron leaped over a couple of lab tables to land in front of the surprised villain, both of them grinning confidently at their foe.
About time! Shego thought excitedly as she leapt to her feet. She snagged the green Santa hat off the console and shoved it on her head, smirking at the challenging smile on Kim's face.
"Ho, ho, ho," Shego drawled out slowly before sticking the candy cane in her mouth and lighting up her hands.
"Get Drakken, Ron!" Kim yelled out as she charged the smirking thief, feeling her heart begin to hammer hard against her chest and goosebumps pimple over her body as she confidently met the taunting gaze of her rival. Shego's smirk widened when she feinted a high right hook and followed through with a left uppercut, both of which the teen nimbly dodged.
"Glad to see the cold weather isn't slowing you down, Pumpkin," the older woman grunted while blocking Kim's countering jabs and kicks.
The petite hero jumped back when Shego blasted the metal floor beneath her feet with fiery plasma in a successful attempt to break off her string of blows.
"I wish I could say the same of you," Kim teased, changing into another stance to adjust to the flow of battle, panting lightly as her mind rushed with possible strategies she could use based on the few blows they exchanged.
For her, going toe to toe with Shego was the pure definition of an adrenaline rush. While parachuting out of planes and rappelling down skyscrapers was thrilling, it was only when she fought Shego that her entire being seemed to flair to life.
Their fights were constantly evolving, each one pushing the hero to her limits. Some were quick and won with only a few exchanges, while others were matches of attrition. Yet they all sated an unconscious hunger deep inside her, leaving her feeling full and satisfied in way she couldn't put into words.
"Aw, I'm sorry I disappointed you, Princess. Really," Shego mocked sarcastically, wiping away a nonexistent tear before giving Kim a predatory grin. "Allow me to make amends!"
The redhead grinned as she met Shego's charge head on, all the while timing her blows with the pounding of her heart.
Ron turned to the frowning scientist and crossed his arms while puffing out his chest, Rufus mimicking him on his shoulder.
"How about you save us both a lot of time and just give up. I mean, come on, dude. I could be home watching Christmas cartoons."
The blue skinned man opened his mouth before a confused look crossed his face.
"...what was your name again?"
The teen instantly deflated while Drakken pulled out a hidden laser pistol, causing Rufus to gulp and dive back into Ron's pocket.
The blond-haired boy yelped as he dodged the first shot before landing just in time to duck under another that burned away a few hairs on top of his head..
"Yeah, way too early for a haircut," Ron muttered nervously as he rubbed his smoking head while he ran away from the insane man chasing him. Drakken cackled as he pursued the blond through the towering rows of robotic drummers, blasting them into smoldering pieces with his wild shots and knocking them over as he tried to follow the young teen's weaving and circling path.
"Running away is useless! Nobody Escapes the wrath of Drakken!" the villain bellowed, oblivious to the chaos he was causing to his own weapons.
"What do you say we give him the old Trojan horse routine?" Ron panted down to Rufus, wincing when a laser bolt whizzed by his ear. His partner nodded before scrambling out of the baggy pocket and into Ron's backpack.
Drakken's face scrunched up in confusion when Ron came to a skidding halt, forcing him to stop too.
"Okay, I give up, please don't kill me, I offer you all my secrets in exchange for mercy," Ron panted out as he pulled off his backpack and slid it across the metal floor to the suspicious mad scientist. When the scarred man narrowed his eyes at him, the teen chuckled nervously and raised his hands up as a sign of surrender.
"Hmm, why does this seem so familiar?" Drakken muttered to himself as he eyed the object at his feet and at the nervously smiling boy whose name he couldn't recall. Deciding he was just experiencing deja-vu, he picked up the backpack and pulled open the zipper.
The moment the bright lights of the lair entered the bag and hit Rufus, the naked mole rat sucked in a readying breath while smirking at the oblivious gaze of his target.
Drakken flinched and then froze when something flew out of the backpack and latched onto his face. It took his brain a couple of seconds to fully acknowledge that there was indeed a creature on his face. It only only took him a nanosecond to react when said creature chomped down on his nose.
"AHH! Get it off! Get it off!" he screamed shrilly as Rufus dug in his claws and holding on for dear life. Ron ducked as Drakken began firing everywhere randomly as he ran around in circles and struggled to get the rodent off his face.
Ah, the old Trojan horse routine, never fails, Ron thought less than enthusiastically as he crawled beneath the hail of laser bolts to find some cover.
"Why aren't you dressed for the holidays? Hell, even I at least wore a Santa Claus hat for the occasion," Shego grunted out, suckling on her candy cane while ducking under a round house kick and rolling away.
"I had a Santa Clause hat! Somebody just happened to have fried it last week!" Kim bit out as she leaped through the air, preparing to stomp her foe as she came out of her role.
The plasma wielding thief just managed to cross her arms in defense as Kim came crashing down feet first, causing her to bite down on the candy cane. She felt the candy cane break in half and choked as a large piece was lodged in her throat.
Kim kicked off of Shego's arm and landed in her fighting stance, a smirk on her face.
It was instantly wiped away when she saw Shego fall to her knees, clutching at her throat. Kim's vision jumped from Shego's watering eyes, to the hands desperately clutching at her throat, before finally ending up on the broken candy cane lying in front of her.
"Oh my god, Shego!"
Without hesitation, Kim rushed to kneel behind the larger woman and assumed the proper Heimlich position by grasping her fist with her hand just below Shego's rib cage. She gritted her teeth as she used all her strength to thrust upward and into the choking woman's abs, careful to avoid any ribs.
"Hang on!" Kim cried out as she gave a powerful squeeze.
Shego lurched forward to no success as she continued choking, panicking even more now as she now began clawing at her throat in desperation. Before the teen hero could try again, one of Drakken's stray shots singed past her arm and forced her to let go of the larger woman with a painful hiss.
Slapping a hand over the sizzling skin and ignoring the smell of cooked flesh, Kim gritted her teeth as she kicked out Shego's feet from under her to force her on her back before jumping as high as she could with a grunt. She knew she might catch a rib, but at the moment it was all she could do for the panicking woman.
Shego's watery eyes widened comically when she saw the teen hero descending down towards her midsection, to stunned to even think about rolling away.
She felt the lodged candy cane and the air in her lungs fly out of her mouth as Kim stomped straight down onto her abs. She couldn't tell for sure, but she swore her guts tried to leave too.
Clutching her stomach, the pale green woman rolled over as soon as Kim rolled off her and took in giant gulps of air.
Hearing the woman's wheezing breaths, the redhead dropped to sit on the ground as relief flooded her.
"You alright, Shego?" Kim asked, watching the other woman's face carefully, trying to resist the urge to poke or scratch at the burned skin on her arm. Instead, she pulled out a chewable tablet from her belt and popped it into her mouth. She couldn't remember what Wade had called the pill, just that it had way too many syllables and provided temporary pain relief and protection from infection till she could get proper treatment.
Taking in one more gulp of air, Shego finally felt like she could breathe regularly again. Rolling onto her back, she gingerly rubbed her raw throat, still able to feel where the candy cane had been lodged. Along with drowning, choking was one of those panic enducing reflexes she had yet to conquer.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks Kim," Shego breathed out quietly, the words coming out of her mouth without thought, still too caught up in reflecting on the scary choking incident.
She sensed the petite teen near her tense up, which made her automatically tense up in response.
"You called me Kim," Shego heard her whisper. Frowning in confusing, she recalled her last few words and felt something akin to lead fill her stomach.
"You called me Kim and thanked me! In the same sentence!" Kim exclaimed happily with growing volume as she scrambled over to Shego on her hands and knees. Her head was already starting to buzz happily from the painkiller and having saved Shego's life, but combined with a genuine sign of gratitude from the ever sarcastic thief, she was ecstatic.
The stunned villainess flinched when Kim grabbed her hand with both of hers and stared expectantly at her with wide, happy eyes. Disturbed wasn't a powerful enough word to describe how she felt.
"W-What the hell!" Shego sputtered as she scrambled to her feet and away from the beaming redhead, snatching her hand away. Having all that happiness directed at her wasn't something she knew how to handle, especially coming from the petite teen.
"Say it again!" Kim almost squealed as she quickly rose up and bounced on her feet excitedly.
Shego felt a twitch begin to develop in her right eye.
"Now, wait a damn minute-"
"Say it again! Say it again!" Kim chanted childishly, her beaming face flushed from excitement and the cold weather, her euphoria increasing with every second. This was a one in a million chance she wasn't about to pass up.
"No!" Shego scowled, crossing her arms and glaring at the very annoyed look that was starting to flare on Kim's face when it became apparent that whatever had urged Shego to actually thank her was now gone. A thought suddenly came to her, and she felt her lips twist up in response.
Shego's glare faltered as she saw the redhead's displeased look reverse coarse, ending in a sly smile.
Well, guess its time to take a page out of the tweebs book, Kim thought mischievously.
Kim planted her feet, stood tall, and slowly took in a deep breath, causing her face to turn a darker shade of red. After a brief moment of confusion, a look of horror crossed Shego's face. She recognized that stance from her childhood. The Wegos were particularly found of it.
She could recognize a tantrum from hell a mile away.
While stomping her feet and thrashing her arms, Kim let lose.
"SSSAAAYYY IIITTT!Sayit!Sayit!Sayit!Sayit!Sayit!Sayit!SSSSAAAYYY IIITTTT-"
"ALRIGHT! FUCK!" Shego bellowed angrily, her face flushing dark green. "THANKS KIM! THANK YOU THANK YOU THHAANNNKK YYYOOUU!"" Shego screamed, veins bulging on her neck and her fists clenched so tightly her nails almost broke through her gloves.
She breathed heavily, frustration rolling off of her in waves. It was like she was fifteen again and her bratty kid brothers were pulling her hair till she gave them the cookies her mother hid on top of the fridge. She froze when she realized that the sounds of the scuffle between Drakken and Ron had stopped. Shego slapped a hand over her eyes and groaned, feeling humiliation bubbling up in her gut.
Ron and Drakken were standing amongst the smoking rubble that was once the Destructo Drummers of Doom, gaping wordlessly at the plasma wielding thief. Rufus was struggling to see behind him from where he was still attached to Drakken's face.
Beaming like she had just won a million dollars, Kim sighed happily and chuckled. That Shego, the alleged most dangerous woman in the world, thanking her...she was going to remember this moment forever.
"Now, was that so hard?" Kim sang out, as she hopped over to the muttering woman and plucked the green Santa hat off her head and pulled it over her own.
I'm probably never going to live this down, Shego groused internally as she slid her hand down her face, shooting Kim a murderous look.
Yet she couldn't maintain it seeing Kim's face splitting smile.
Damn her and damn that goddamn smile! she cursed mentally, huffing as she settled for just frowning at the happy teen. Even that was proving impossible. And thinking of the impossible instantly made her think of Kim Possible.
Closing her eyes, Shego let out a long, body sagging sigh. She felt like she had aged ten years in the last few minutes.
"Are we going to fight or what?" she grounded out, clenching and unclenching her fists, fighting down the humiliation and embarrassment she felt trying to overtake her.
Kim chuckled while lightly shaking her head, walking over to Ron, who was still gaping wordlessly.
"Come on Ron, looks like these two wont be causing anyone any problems for now," she instructed as she plucked Rufus from Drakken's stunned face.
Ron nodded his head mutely, unable to divert his dumbfounded look from Shego, whose skin had flushed a dark green, her unique version of a blush.
Shego growled, looking away from the two heroes while crossing her arms petulantly.
"Oh, and Shego?"
She scowled darkly while turning towards Kim's cheery voice.
"What the hell do you-"
Shego froze when for just a split second she felt incredibly soft lips, cold from the winter weather, press against her cheek, causing her heart to skip a beat.
Kim backed away speedily, a smirk on her face.
"Thanks for replacing my Santa Claus hat! Merry Christmas!" she yelled over her shoulder, pulling Ron along with her as the two quickly sprinted for the exit.
Shego quickly felt the top of her head and sputtered before any words could make it out of her mouth.
"Wait! Dammit Possible! Get back here!" She screamed, bolting after the sprinting duo, her hands ablaze in crackling plasma.
Drakken stood alone in the suddenly quiet lair, alone with his destroyed Destructo Drummers of Doom.
Slowly taking off his drooping Santa Claus hat, Drakken sniffled and shuffled his feet.
"Why doesn't Shego ever say thank you to me? And why didn't Possible wish me a Merry Christmas?" he whined loudly before scuffling off to find some chocolate to ease his wounded soul.
Silence once again permeated throughout the lair as happy laughter and flustered curses could be heard echoing through the lair.
to be continued...
AN: Whew! I think it came out alright, if I do say so myself! I'll have the next chapter out sometime next week, if everything stays aces.