Author'sNote: Hellothere, fanfictionfriends. Ihaven'tdonethisinalongtime, butIhopethisreachessomeone. :) So, basically, inanefforttodeletestoriesIhadnointentionsoffinishing, Ideletedthisstorybeforerealizethatitwasinfact, finished. SoI'mretweakingit, addingsomemoremagic, andresubmittingit. Letmeknowifyouloveit, orhateit. I'mexcitedtobeapartofthecommunityagain. :)
It hadn't been right for a while. We had been through much together; I used to think we could handle anything. But now, now things were different. We hardly spoke anymore. He was always away and when he was home our relationship was cold. I didn't think it would get this bad. I never thought I'd lie next to my husband of four years and wonder if he still loved me, if he regretted marrying me. I never though I'd lose hope in my marriage, especially with him. I hadn't taken the decision lightly, I had thought about it for months. He had given up on our marriage 6 months ago, why should I continue? Why should I fight a battle I had already lost?
It's funny how doubt works sometimes. From the moment I married Logan, everything had sorta fell into place. We had fell into a routine that flowed so well, it was hard to imagine the times before. I can't think of a time in my life that I was happier than we were first married, when we were so in love, it showed in every aspect of our lives. But the funny thing is, it only took one brief moment of doubt. The seed was planted, and continued to grow. And we are left with this big mess that keeps piling up. At this point, all I can hope is that Logan finds someone who truly makes him happy, because it wasn't me. I just couldn't give him what he wants anymore, what he deserves. We've past the point of no return.
It was a sad moment for me, when I folded up my note of surrender, and stuffed it inside the envelope. I didn't bother to lick it closed, knowing it would only delay the inevitable. But before I did, I stopped and looked around the house that I and Logan had picked out years ago. This was the first home Logan and I had ever made together, and I knew if I thought about it too much, it would become too hard to leave. The walls looked so bare from the missing items. I was taking the touch of me out of this apartment, leaving only Logan. I felt a rush of emotion come over me. It came as a pressure in my chest, like my heart was realizing that this was all real, this was all really happening. There was no way around from the truth: I had invested 6 years into a relationship that was ending in a divorce.
It seemed like these days, the work never stopped. I was finally coming home after a 2 week trip to England, getting things set up with my offices down there. Sometimes I thought coming home to Rory was the only thing that kept me sane anymore. Coming home to Rory was the only meaningful thing about my life, the rest was all mundane and lifeless. As I drove towards our home, I couldn't help but think about the woman who would be waiting for me. Things had been strange lately. I had been working so much, and when I was home, she would distance herself. I would reach for her, and she would pull away. The distance between us was starting to drive me a little mad, and my mind instantly started coming up with plans to warm my wife up a little. A weekend away, perhaps. Free of cell phones and jobs, we could be together just us again. God knows we needed the vacation.
I turned my car into our driveway, and got out of the car with a renewed energy. I didn't even notice that Rory's car was not in it's usual spot in my excitement to see her. But as soon as I walked into the house, I couldn't not notice the difference. It was darker. It was somehow colder. Like all the light had left. My mind instantly when into a tailspin, trying to come up with reasonable excuses for this. I instantly went to our bedroom, and noticed the same thing. The pictures were gone, of Rory and her Mom, and various other poses. The only one that remained, that sat on our dresser, was the only taken on our wedding day. The sight frightened me. Like this picture frame, that once showed me all the hope and happiness in the world, was now a sick reality. In that moment, I was afraid.
My eyes were drawn to the white envelope that laid on her pillow. I recognized her handwriting immediately, and my pounding heart dropped to my stomach, and then fell out of my chest altogether. I read it slowly, taking in every word as if my Ace was standing next to me, letting the words glide out of her beautiful lips that I had fallen in love with. I reread it again, I let it sink it. My wife was gone. I laid down on the bed she wasn't going to be occupying with me tonight. I wondered if there was anything I could do. Rory hadn't given up on me since I meet her, was I really going to let her walk away? I knew I had screwed up. I knew I had to fix it. I couldn't give up on my Ace. I couldn't believe I had let his happen. I knew things had been rocky for a while, but I was hoping to rectify the situation. What could I possibly do now?